//------------------------------// // Derpy Joy and a Special Gift // Story: Cupcakes A$$ Kicking. // by thewaffler //------------------------------// A/N: This gonna be my Derpy/Ditzy Do chapter. It's almost completely harmless, There is special gift at the end of the chapter. This dedicated to anyone that has ever made a really good Derpy fic and while I don't name specific writers just note if I have commented on you fics this goes out to you guys. Ponyville had been relatively quiet for the past week and was back to normal sans one less comic book store. In the home of everybody's favorite family, Ditzy Do Whooves was paying some bills online when out of boredom she did what a lot of people or in this case ponies do, she Googled her name and the results were shocking. "HONEY COME TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND ONLINE!!!" Ditzy called out to Doctor Whooves, who was in the lab trying to find away to disconnect the Human internet and the Equestrian internet. Upon hearing his wife call out to him he ran upstairs to see what all the fuss was about, fearing that Ditzy had found the same scary and deranged fan fics and fan art that other ponies had found earlier that week. "What's wrong, Ditzy?" He asked in his usual calm demeanor. "Oh, nothing's wrong. It's just that I searched my own name online and I'm super ultra popular." "Huh?" "I think it's that one show from the Hoo-man world about us and on it, me and you and heck even our kids are just background characters, but there is a lot of fan art and fan fiction love for us. I mean sure there is still disgusting and icky stuff, but by and large the hoo-mans love me, they even argue over my name and voice. It's just so, so wonderful." "Well, as long as you're happy, I think I'll just go back to the lab and -"The good doctor was about to walk out of the room when Ditzy made the puppy dog eyes. The same face that won damn near every argument and even got The Doctor to go on that low sodium diet. "Okay, dear what do you want to do?" "I wanna go to the hoo-man world and gave everyone that made awesome fan fics and fan art of me a small gift basket." Doctor Whooves smiled at her over joyous behavior and always loved seeing her happy. "Okay, dear, maybe we can see if Pinkie and the Cakes would be interested in helping you out with your gift basket idea." Ditzy gave her favorite stallion a kiss ad trotted out the door. She was outside their home when she realized something very important. ‘How in Equestria am I gonna carry all those baskets. Maybe Pinkie knows a thing about space management. I mean I've seen her pull confetti, balloons and streamers out of nowhere.' At Sugar Cube Corner Pinkie was putting a fresh batch of cookies into the display window of the bakery, when the gray muffin enthusiast walked in. "Hiya, Ditzy, what can I get you? Oh, I know muffins, like always and cup of Mr. Cake's awesome coffee for Doctor Whooves, right?" "Actually I'd like to ask you for a super special favor that's kind of a rather large order." "Ooh, is it for a party? Is it for-" Ditzy smiled and put a hoof up to silence the energetic baker. "You remember how our internet is connected to the hoo-man internet?" Pinkie thought about it and a nasty feeling came from her stomach. "Um...Yes?" She asked wearily. "Well, I read a bunch of really nice stories and saw some really nice pics the hoo-man made about me and they even fight over trivial things like my name, voice and appearance. Long story short I wanna make a muffin and candy gift basket for my favorite story writers and fan art makers." Pinkie felt a rush of joy. 'Maybe they aren't all bad.' She thought to herself before answering Ditzy's question. "I'd love to help you and it'd be nice to make something instead of beating the stuffing out them. " Back on Earth That one Cupcakes writer after days of shock therapy torture had admitted that technicolor ponies don't exist. He was free to go and things were going well for him until he walked into a McDonalds and saw the Happy Meal Display. "Ponies, ponIES, PONIES, PONIES!!!!!!!!, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA" He ripped off his clothes and ran out of the store into oncoming traffic. He woke up seven hours later in a full body cast. He looked to the bed next to him and it was twelve year old girl getting a birthday present, she opened it up and it was that odd light purple Celestia figure. However, what he saw was a demon doll looking back at him when he saw the plastic toy alicorn. He started panicking and tried to scream as his mouth was wired shut all while mashing the nurse call button. "My little pony...I used to wonder what friendship could be..." The child sang the theme song as she enjoyed her new toy which only caused the Cupcakes writer to panic more with every passing second. A few hours later Pinkie and Ditzy had finally finished baking all those muffins and put a few pieces of candy made by Bon Bon in each bag. Pinkie and Ditzy were cleaning up and getting ready to leave. "Pinkie thanks a lot for you're help and telling me the secret of space management and bending quantum physics. As thanks I promise free shipping and stamps anytime you need it." "Okie dokie, lokie." Pinkie responded as Ditsy walked out the door, ready to spread the same kind of joy she had received earlier that day. Mr. ***** was waking up getting ready to do something social and hang out with friends. He knew that while Ponies are fun, it was still important to maintain and healthy active lifestyle both mentally and physically. He heard a knock at his door to which he opened it ready to greet the unexpected visitor. However, nothing could prepare him for what he saw standing before him. It was Derpy as he knew her from the show. "HOLY CRAP, IT'S, IT'S DERPY!!!" He gave the gray mail mare a hug. "Hi, I wanted to give you this for making that really nice fic about me and my family." She handed him a paper bag with two banana nut muffins and several small hard candies. "Thank you, do you wanna hang out?" The writer could suppress his fanboy squeal as one of his favorite cartoons was there in the flesh. "Sorry, but I got a lot of deliveries to make, but just know that the ponies of Equestria read fan fics and look at fan art." Ditzy was about to disappear when she called out. "Oh, and for the record it's Ditzy Do." She giggled as vanished out of thin air. Ditzy felt like the gift giver on Hearths Warming Day with all the joy she brought people both bronies and pegasisters and all the hugs and praise she received. She even autographed a few custom plushies and fan made figurines. It was good to know that she affected so many lives in a positive way. Throughout the day it played out like this: "Wow, it's Ditsy Do, could you sign my head?" "Derpy is best pony." "Tell, the doctor I said hi." "Muffins are even better than waffles and cheap hooch." She even got to meet artist like Madmax, Slugbox, John Joseco and the people behind that Doctor Whooves/ Ditzy Do radio show. It was late that night when Ditzy came home. The doctor was just putting Dinky to bed. Ditzy placed several bags on the dining room table. "What's that you've got there?" The Doctor asked his favorite mare before embracing her. "These are presents from the fans." "Presents?" "Yep, there are figurines, fan art and stuffed animals of you, me and even a few of Dinky and Sparkler." "Well that's good to hear. I bet Dinky can't wait to see them, but right now let's go to bed." They were about to leave the kitchen when Ditzy noticed the scorch mark near the stove. "What's that?" "Well, I maybe a great scientist and clock maker but apparently there is one thing I can't do and that's cook to 'save my flanks' as Sparkler put it so politely. So we ended up ordering out for diner." Whooves laughed nervously as his wife shook her head and let out a small yet adorable laugh. The two talked for a little bit and went to bed. The end What else happened that day. Fluttershy was out of town visiting relatives in Cloudsdale, leaving her rabbit in charge. Angel faked interest in his owner's words as she gave him rules to follow while she was away. As soon as she was out of sight, he cranked up the stereo and grabbed a bag of sticky icky from under his bed and proceeded to get blitzed out of his mind. He then heard a knock at the door. He freaked out thinking it was the five-0 and put out his joint and and tried to clear up the smoke from the room before answering the door. He looked outside and saw nothing but a large package with his name on it marked from Opal to Angel. Unbeknownst to him there was surprise in the box. Since Equestria exist on a parallel plane to Earth and there exist many human counterparts to many ponies. It was safe to assume there was a human equivalent to Pinky Pie. While it just so happens that Pinkie's human counterpart is a seven foot tall linebacker for the Miami Hurricanes. Whom just happens to be a huge Fluttershy fan and is very angry with the white rabbit. Angel takes the ribbon off of the box and outburst Perry Piekinski. You would've sworn the sound of a freight train could be heard as he tears through the package and lunges for the bunny. "YOU ANGEL!?!!" The rabbit slowly nods. "YOU SLAPPED BEST PONY!!!!! NOW ME AM GOING TO BREAK YOUR ASS IN TWO!!!" Perry smashes Angel against a tree all while the linebacker hums the Giggle at the Ghosties song. Angel is given a brief reprieve from his beating. "NOW, LISTEN YOU LITTLE FUCKER, YOU STEP OUT OF LINE ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL BE FLOSSING MY TEETH WITH YOUR SPINE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!" Angel hastily nods in hopes to that huge hulking beast would let him live. "OKIE DOKIE, LOKIE. NOW JUST REMEMBER, GET IN MY PATH AND YOU'LL FEEL MY WRATH!!! NOW, EXCUSE ME, ME AM NEED TO VISIT SUGAR CUBE CORNER AND MAKE CUPCAKES!!!" Perry said as he disappeared to Ponyville's premier bakery to which he scared the hell out of Pinkie, but eventually the two became friends because let's face it, you sure as shit don't want to be Perry's enemy and he went back to Earth after having a wonderful day of baking cookies and treats with Pinkie and hunting down and beating up ponies and creatures like Flim, Flam, Prince Blueblood and Gilda all to a bloody pulp. A/N:I promise that the next chapter will be my Sweet Apple Massacre revenge chapter. Peace Out.