//------------------------------// // You Can (Not) Make Friends // Story: Hearth's Warming Evil // by Tortfeasor //------------------------------// Hearth’s Warming Evil Disclaimer: I cannot dance the Robot. Nor do I own My Little Pony. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. Chapter One: You Can (Not) Make Friends. Twilight was never letting Rarity get her drunk again. Sure she’d said that the last time she’d woken up with a monster of a hangover, but this time she was serious! Her head was killing her, her body felt like it was made of lead, no amount of fun while drunk could be worth this torment. Had she even made it back to her rooms? It felt like she’d passed out on a bed, to use the term generously, made of the cheapest straw in all Platinum City. Clearly she would have to make sure the guards put a stop to things before they got out of hoof the next time Rarity talked her into a little nightcap. Of course, that assumed Rarity hadn't talked her guards into trying to keep up with them. “You’re awake?” A voice Twilight didn’t recognize came up to her. “Good, drink this.” Twilight felt a bowl press against her lips. The water that flowed down her throat was lukewarm, tasted not particularly clean, and it was heavenly. Twilight threw her front legs over her face with a groan of bliss as the pounding in her head receded enough for her to want to rejoin the world of the living. At last she opened her eyes, to see an orange earth pony with green eyes and a blonde mane standing over her. “Augh!” Twilight screamed in surprise as she scrambled away from her… was captor the right word? She remembered going to see the riots firsthoof, she remembered the rock from nowhere and the pony in the dark, and she remembered Soarin’s warning about what would happen if she was discovered to be a unicorn. Except she wasn't tied up, and the orange earth pony hadn't made any effort to block or otherwise account for her magic. It also didn’t look like Twilight was in a prison, makeshift or otherwise. Around her was a small space that haphazardly blended areas to cook and eat as well as to sleep and live. This looked like someone’s house, to use the term very generously. “Relax,” the orange earth pony said, “if I wanted you dead I had my chance when your head had that run in with a rock in front of me. Not hard to recognize the youngest Court Sorceress since Clover the Clever, and not hard to figure out what you unicorns’d do to us if you wound up dead here in Dirtville.” “Where exactly is here?” Twilight cautiously ventured the question. “And how long was I out?” “Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes. Rock didn’t hit hard enough to do any real damage. And 'here' is home, or as much home as you unicorns let any earth pony have these days.” “Twenty minutes,” Twilight said, “Thank you for saving me, but I have to get back out there before it’s too late.” “No way.” The orange earth pony moved in front of the rickety door. “You were lucky enough for any two ponies that I found your sorry body. Plenty of earth ponies wouldn't care that your friends would burn this whole part of the city to ash if you got killed down here. They’d reckon taking you with us a fair trade. Now I don’t know what a pony like you is doing here, but I’m not about to let you go back out there and get us all killed.” “You don’t get it. That,” Twilight pointed out the small, dark window, “will keep happening if I don’t go back out there and find a way to stop it. And I promise you, it will only keep getting worse and worse for you earth ponies.” “So... what?” The orange earth pony clearly didn’t believe her. “I’m supposed to believe that you, the Court Sorceress, are actually some sort of earth pony sympathizer? Awfully good job you do of hiding it behind the roundups, the deportations, making it near impossible for an earth pony to make enough to eat, yeah you just love us.” “No, I’m not one of those unicorns,” Twilight sighed. “Look, I’ll spare you the unicorn politicking, but Sombra, the chancellor, is running away with power in the government, and he’s the one behind all this. I won’t lie to you, I don’t think the wall should come down or anything like that. Everything you just said, though, that’s destabilizing New Unicornia, it’s upsetting the balance we've lived with since Princess Platinum and Clover the Clever. I don’t like it one bit, and I think it needs to stop. So you need to let me out of here so I can do what I came here to do.” “Alright.” The orange earth pony smirked. “You wanna take your chances with that? Be my guest.” Twilight looked out the window to see a mass of earth ponies running by, torch light glinted off a rather disconcerting collection of weapons. If the pegasus guards had kept the riots from spreading they clearly hadn't stamped them out here in Dirtville. She sat back down with a sigh, this was not going even remotely close to plan. “Y’all can come out now,” the orange earth pony called to thin air. Or not so thin air, as the lone rug lifted up to reveal a trapdoor being opened from beneath. First to emerge was a green earth pony who looked to be old enough to have known Princess Platinum and Clover the Clever, next came the largest pony Twilight had ever seen, the red earth pony easily towered above any of the guards at the castle, last came a yellow filly who looked to be about Sweetie Belle’s age. “I’m Applejack.” The orange earth pony, Applejack, pointed at herself. “That’s Granny Smith, Big Macintosh, and Apple Bloom. Hope you don’t mind, but we figured it’d be best if you didn’t meet everyone till we knew you weren't gonna do some freaky magic and burn the place down.” “Um no, no burning. Wasn't planning on it.” Twilight was being distracted by the filly, Apple Bloom, who was staring at her in undisguised wonder. “Wow, a real unicorn! I ain't never seen one up close.” Apple Bloom seemed to have not yet picked up the wariness bordering on hostility so natural to older earth ponies in close proximity to unicorns. “Can you really do magic? Can you, can you, can you?” Applejack opened her mouth to protest her sister’s youth and ignorance of societal customs. Twilight put up a hoof to stop the other pony before she began. “I can.” With all the chaos and death going on around her, Twilight couldn't bring herself to be the one to crush this poor filly's innocence. That would happen, but not tonight, and not by her hoof. Twilight looked around at the meager belongings of the family that had taken her in. She lived rather simply as unicorns went, particularly compared to many of the nobles around the palace. Still, her bedroom alone was half again as large as this room that served as home to four ponies. The injustice of that didn’t quite dawn on her, but she did begin to grasp at how the earth ponies could be as restless as they were. Finally making a choice, Twilight lifted the table, stools, and all the various implements atop the table and began to float them about the small room in a number of formations. Apple Bloom stared at Twilight's performance in absolute rapture. Even her more jaded elders couldn't quite hide their awe at the spectacle before them. The tiniest few fortunate earth ponies would, on very rare occasions, be in the pegasus part of Platinum City at the right time to witness a travelling show unicorn putting on their show. The earth ponies in Dirtville, however, were far too poor to ever attract such ponies. It was quite possible, even for a pony as old as Granny Smith, that this was the first time in their life they had seen unicorn magic not dedicated to hurting them. Again, there was a thought nagging at the back of Twilight’s mind, and, again, she plowed on before it could mature. “Thank you all very much for taking me in. I promise you I won’t forget it. I don’t think I’ll be able to do what I came here for, but when I get back to the castle I can make sure a sizable bag of bits makes its way to you.” “Nnnoope.” The response came from Big Macintosh. “Um, what?” Twilight, smart as she was, failed to divine any meaning from the drawn out word. “Big Mac isn't one for being wordy.” Applejack took off the battered hat she’d been wearing since Twilight had woken up. “What he means to say is thank you kindly, but no.” “No?” Twilight remained at a loss as to what was happening around her. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but weren't you the one just going on about how hard things are here. You could easily move out of Dirtville, get away from all this. And this isn't some ‘oh look at the poor earth ponies, let’s make ourselves look good’ giveaway. You would have made a lot of ponies around here very happy by dragging me out and letting them string me up. You didn’t, you took a big chance taking me in, and I owe you.” “A good deed is its own reward.” Granny Smith shuffled forward. “Something you fancy unicorn types would do well to learn. Get that through a few thick skulls up in your mansions and palaces, and you’ll do more good for every pony in this city than a thousand bags of bits would get you.” Twilight sighed. “Problem is, I’m pretty sure the unicorns doing this to you would agree with every word you just said. Except their definition of a good deed involves a fair deal less cooperation, and more crushing every earth pony into the dirt until the mere thought of disobeying a pegasus or unicorn wouldn't exist.” “Look,” Applejack said, “we aren't trying to be difficult. It’s just that… well, earth ponies who get mixed up with your ‘unicorn politicking’ tend to end up poorly. Those houses right up against the wall, the ponies inside might have fancier plates than we do and more on them, but everyone else hates them. Y’all pegasi and unicorns laugh at them and call them toadies, and the rest of us earth ponies think they’re selling the rest of us out for a pat on the head.” “I hadn't ever thought of it like that.” This day had so far proved educational in any number of ways for Twilight Sparkle. Applejack went on. “Besides, our papers to be here ain't exactly what you’d call in order. Never quite got em signed. Price to get through all the red tape shot up just after we got here. Might be something to do with what’s got you all riled up. And since moving up in the world would get us looked at I think we’re safer right where we are.” Twilight blinked in surprise. She’d known a great deal of earth ponies living in Dirtville were technically here illegally. She hadn't thought, however, that it might be Sombra’s doing in more ways than one. “Do you mind if I see them, your papers that is.” Applejack looked puzzled, but walked over to a cabinet, rummaged around for awhile, and finally came back with an unsigned set of official Platinum City residence papers. Twilight looked around for a quill and a jar of ink. It took her some time to finally spot one in a corner. The thought occurred to her that Applejack and her family were probably semi-literate at best, and, as a result, would only rarely need to try to write. Twilight uncorked the jar, took the quill in her magic, and flourished her signature at the bottom of the papers. Thinking quickly, she wrote down a date several months in the past where the papers had room for the approval date. She figured it might look a little suspicious to have residence papers coming through on the day of a massive riot. “Here.” She floated the papers over to Applejack. “It’s not exactly usual for me to sign these things, but I assure you that no one will question my name. You’ll want to keep it out of sight for a few days, at least until the ink has time to dry completely. No one is going to believe I signed that thing months ago if the ink is still dripping off it.” Applejack stared at her in disbelief. “I… I don’t know what to say. I think this is the first nice thing a unicorn’s ever done for me. I always thought y’all was just a bunch of arrogant, murdering, tyrants.” Twilight raised an eyebrow, Applejack certainly had no problems being bluntly honest with others. “You did save my life. I’d say that gets you a good deed in return.” Inspiration struck, Twilight used her magic to reach beneath her cloak and remove a small necklace with Clover the Clever’s cutie mark on it. “Here, this is the symbol of the Court Sorceress. If you ever need anything you should be able to use this to get through all the guards to me.” Twilight glanced out the window, darkness had fallen and the riots seemed to have passed them by. “I hate to cut and run like this, but I see a chance and I need to get out of here before Rarity sends the whole guard corps in to look for me. They would burn the whole place to ashes looking for me.” “That’s alright.” Applejack was still looking at the papers in her hoof as though they’d disappear if she took her eyes off them for a second. Big Macintosh and Granny Smith were also focused on the papers, seeming to not believe their luck. Apple Bloom, however, waved goodbye with a big smile on her face. Twilight waved back and stepped out into the cold. Had she been told at the start of the day that she would wave to an earth pony and mean it she’d have had the other pony sent to a doctor. That left the little matter of getting out of Dirtville alive. She looked towards the gate she’d come through, only to see a glow over the houses that could only be a sizable number of fires. Applejack had been right that the poorer earth ponies didn’t think kindly of their number who profited by working with unicorns and pegasi. No gate, that meant she would have to find the nearest pegasus garrison and wait there till things calmed down. One problem, Twilight wasn't a regular in Dirtville and had next to no idea where to look. She thought about ducking back inside to ask, but she’d already imposed enough on Applejack and her family. Twilight took off more or less at random. She knew roughly where the square was where the riot had started, and she figured that a garrison wouldn't be posted so close to the wall. That meant heading deeper into Dirtville. Normally a dangerous course of action, Twilight figured it would actually be safer since the rioters seemed to be focusing their ire on the more well off, to use the term very generously, among them. Dirtville had grown up more or less at random, which meant it was near impossible for anyone but a local to find their way through the twisted maze of alleys. Twilight wasn't helping matters by lighting her horn barely enough to see her hooves in front of her. However, between stumbling about in the dark and being outed as a unicorn the choice wasn't exactly difficult, a stubbed hoof would heal, losing her head would prove a bit more permanent. Only the fact that her own horn was so dim let Twilight spot the golden light rushing down another street. At first, she thought it was a pony using a torch. It was only when she saw that the light didn’t flicker that she realized she was seeing another unicorn. She almost called out, until she realized that a single unicorn out in Dirtville on a night like this couldn't possibly be a guard gone astray. Dousing her horn completely, Twilight allowed her curiosity to get the better of her. The circle of light moved close enough for Twilight to finally make out the other unicorn from the shadows she’d crept into. Definitely a mare, mint green coat, cyan mane with a white streak, golden eyes, not a unicorn noble that Twilight recognized. Her cutie mark was covered by the heavy cloak she was wearing. Twilight cursed silently, if she could see the other unicorn’s cutie mark she’d have no trouble finding out who she was in the archives back at the palace. The mint green unicorn ran past Twilight’s hiding spot. Just as Twilight thought she would have to start running to follow the other unicorn, her unwitting quarry skidded to a stop on the dirt street in front of what looked like a small food shop. Twilight craned her neck before realizing she would have to leave her hiding spot to see what the mint green unicorn was doing inside. Stealth had never been one of Twilight’s strong points. Somehow, through skill or luck, probably the latter, she found another hiding spot that let her see through the store’s front window. Through it she could see the mint green unicorn talking animatedly to a beige earth pony with a blue and pink mane. Finally, the mint green unicorn moved so Twilight got a glimpse of her cutie mark, what looked to be a lyre, or a harp, or some other stringed instrument. Despite having everything she needed, Twilight found curiosity still rooting her to the spot. Her own views about earth ponies had taken quite the beating over the course of the evening. However, she wondered if she was seeing one of those rare unicorns who believed in true earth pony equality. The mint green unicorn certainly seemed to be concerned for the beige earth pony. And Twilight had a hard time imagining a simple business relationship bringing a unicorn into Dirtville to check up on and earth pony while a riot was raging uncomfortably close. As if to drive that point home, shouts of anger started floating down the narrow alleys. Twilight decided she had more than overstayed her welcome in this particular bit of Dirtville. For all she knew, the nearest pegasus garrison could have been a block closer to the rioters. She never thought once about going that direction as she took off away from the noise. Perhaps, Twilight mused as she skulked down the dark street, it wouldn't have been such a great imposition to have asked Applejack where the nearest pegasus garrison was. Even with the streets deserted because of the riot there were a great many places in Dirtville where one could get knifed over a few bits, or where one could get knifed just because the other pony was ornery. Finally, she ran into one of the rare paved streets in Dirtville. Those were only put down near pegasus garrisons so the soldiers inside could move goods too heavy to fly in. Twilight ran down the street, unashamedly using her horn to light the way. No rioters would dare attack one of these grim stone fortresses shoved into the city. With the drawbridge pulled up, as it was now, the only way in was to either fly, or to somehow make it over the moat filled with sharpened stakes and then climb over the wall. “Halt!” A voice shouted as she crossed the open square cleared out between the garrison and the nearest buildings. Twilight knew perfectly well there was a nervous pegasus on the walls with a crossbow pointed at her. She also knew that if that nervous pegasus let fly she would be just as dead from the accident as she would have been if an earth pony less farsighted than Applejack had found her while she was blacked out. Fortunately, Twilight had a way to calm the pegasus pointing the crossbow at her. She threw back her hood and sent a small flare of sparks into the sky. The reaction was almost immediate, the pegasus turned and shouted down into the garrison. Twilight couldn't hear what exactly was shouted, but a few seconds later the drawbridge began to clank down on its massive chains. The garrison would have been stripped to a skeleton crew to help deal with the riot, and it looked like every pegasus left was waiting at the gate to receive her. “Am I glad to see you!” Twilight ran at a flat gallop across the bridge, which began to clank upwards almost before she was off it. “I think I used up just about all my luck not being spotted on my way here.” “I’ll say you did.” A blue pegasus with a rainbow colored mane shouldered through the onlookers. “What in the name of Commander Hurricane brought you down here? We've had signs up since this morning at all the gates that unicorns and pegasi should stay out of Dirtville if they want to keep their heads attached to their bodies.” “Well, things didn’t quite go to plan once I got past the wall. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Twilight Sparkle, Court Sorceress to the Unicorn King. Thank you all for your service, and, on a personal note, thank you very much for taking me in while things are like this.” Twilight bit down a laugh as the blue pegasus’ eyes went wide as dinner plates as she realized she would have to likewise introduce herself. Twilight couldn't help feeling bad for the other pony. After all, it wasn't her fault that the unicorn stupid enough to be running around Dirtville during a violent riot just happened to be the Court Sorceress. “Um, Rainbow Dash. Uh, Sergeant Rainbow Dash.” It was quite clear that Rainbow Dash wished she was anywhere but where she was at that particular moment in time. “Don’t worry Sergeant.” Twilight figured she should put the poor pony at ease. “You’re absolutely right that most unicorns and pegasi have no business being in Dirtville tonight. Now, if you don't mind, I'd really like to get inside and away from this cold.” Rainbow Dash quickly shooed the other pegasi back to the walls to keep watch for any earth ponies trying to make trouble. Finally, it was just her, Twilight, and a timid looking yellow pegasus with a pink mane who seemed horribly out of ease in the armor of a pegasus guard. Twilight followed as they started walking towards the imposing tower that was the keep of the pegasus garrison. Her mind couldn't help wandering to that mint green unicorn she’d seen earlier tonight. Most unicorns had no business in Dirtville under ideal circumstances, so what brought her to that food shop under circumstances anything but ideal? Getting into the dining hall and out of the cold was most welcome. Applejack’s home may have been warm in love between the family members, but they didn’t have much in the way of proper heating, and Platinum City in late winter got rather cold after the sun went down. Rainbow Dash took a seat at one of the many empty tables, there looked to be seating for probably as many as a hundred pegasi. Twilight didn’t think there were more than ten or so still guarding the garrison. “I take it you’re in charge of this place?” Twilight sat down across from Rainbow Dash and the still nameless yellow pegasus. “Uh, no. Well, yes. I mean I’m in charge until someone who outranks me gets back, which is every other Sergeant here and all the officers.” Some Post Commanders left their best subordinates behind when a garrison was going to be on a skeleton crew. Others, including this one apparently, left behind their worst. Or, Twilight reflected, the ponies they thought least of. Rainbow Dash didn’t strike her as particularly incompetent, so why had she been left behind? “I don’t think I know who your friend is.” Twilight pointed to the yellow pegasus. If she could get Rainbow Dash talking about the pegasi she was leading maybe she could gain some useful insights. “ I’m Fluttershy.” The yellow pegasus mumbled. “I don’t think I quite caught that.” Twilight was being polite, she’d barely realized the yellow pegasus was speaking when her mouth opened. “She’s Fluttershy.” Rainbow Dash provided the answer. “She doesn't do well with new ponies, or ponies she knows, or really any ponies at all.” “Um, please don’t take this the wrong way. But how does a pegasus who doesn't do well with ponies wind up at a pegasus garrison in Dirtville?” “It’s not Fluttershy’s fault that there’s no jobs for a pegasus whose special talent is dealing with animals.” Twilight wasn’t surprised that Rainbow Dash answered. “At least if she’s here I can look after her. And when she does come out of her shell she’s actually great at talking ponies down. I mean we almost had a riot here two weeks ago instead of tonight. Poor Cloud Kicker shot this earth pony on her first day when he wouldn't stop at the bridge for us to inspect his cart. Stupid Lightning Dust wouldn't apologize, kept saying it was ‘a clear sign that earth ponies are inferior if they can’t even follow such a simple instruction from their betters.’ But Fluttershy got out there and got it all sorted out. That earth pony has been delivering stuff here for years and we pretty much wave him through, but Cloud Kicker was alone and she didn’t know that yet.” “Really?” Twilight had a few problems believing Fluttershy could manage the volume, let alone the willpower, to sort out such a prickly matter. “Yeah, Fluttershy really, and I mean really, doesn't do well with violence. She's like a totally different pony if she thinks two ponies are about to fight. I mean none of us who are stuck here tonight have ever been too thrilled about smashing in earth pony heads, that’s why Lightning Dust makes us stay behind and makes sure we’ll never see a promotion between all of us if we’re here for the next hundred years. She takes all the pegasi who hate earth ponies like her and says that if the rioters turn up here we can just have Fluttershy talk them into giving up and not murdering us. I hope they do turn up, it’ll show her when Fluttershy does just that.” Twilight glanced over at Fluttershy, she seemed embarrassed enough at Rainbow Dash’s praise to be seriously considering diving under the table. Still… Her first plan to thwart Sombra had fallen to pieces, but this evening had given her the foundations of a newer, better plan. She’d have to do some thinking, and find out who her mystery unicorn was, but it could work. “Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, when things calm down a bit I’d appreciate it if you’d take me back to the castle. There are some things I’d like to talk to you about on the way.”