//------------------------------// // Fun with Pranking // Story: Sapphire // by Duke of Canterlot //------------------------------// Sapphire was excited about the brainstorming session. "So who is overdo for a prank?", asked Rainbow Dash. "Too many ponies. I don't think we pranked Twilight yet as an alicorn", commented Pinkie Pie. "Are you sure it's the best idea to prank a pony almost as power as Princess Celestia?", asked Sapphire. "Twilight knows it is all in good fun, right, Rainbow Dash!", cheered Pinkie. "Yea, she's cool", added Rainbow Dash. "Tee hee. I don't think today is a "prank Twilight" day though", commented Pinkie. Pranking Twilight Sparkle would have been a peculiar way of reuniting with her. "Nah, despite what I said about Twilight being cool, she gets real cranky if you prank her when she's studying really hard", said Rainbow Dash. "Should it matter", inquired Sapphire. "In theory, it shouldn't matter, but I made a Pinkie Promise", said Rainbow. "Pinkie Promise?" "Ooh, it is the best thing ever. When a pony makes a Pinkie Promise, that means that pony can never ever break the promise." Pinkie grinned. "Well, if the great Rainbow Dash can make a Pinkie Promise, I guess I can afford to do so too." "Hmmm.. first, we need to think of something good for you to make a Pinkie Promise." "What about the same promise Rainbow made?" "Nah, I don't think that is good enough for you, a Pinkie promise is extra-special and a Pinkie promise for you is different than one for Rainbow Dash." "Lucky you. So, what about Rarity?", asked Rainbow Dash. "Hmmm.. I think it's okay to prank Rarity today", said Pinkie. Rarity, why does that name sound so familiar, thought Sapphire. It was a common name among unicorns though. "So, how are we going to prank this Rarity?", asked Sapphire. "I heard that Rarity is going to be meeting Fancy Pants at the Classy Cafe for lunch today, probably to talk about something boring like Rarity's designs", said Rainbow Dash. "Not boring at all!", shouted Pinkie Pie. "Yea, whatever." Fancy Pants though, Sapphire did know him. He was at all of the high-class events Sapphire got dragged along to due to his social status. Fancy Pants was cool and the opposite of stuck-up. He would be the kind of pony who would take a prank quite well.. but Rarity and designs? It clicked. "While I have never met Rarity, I have heard of her before." "Like how you have heard of me", said Rainbow Dash. "Not quite in the same context. My older sister, Gold Coast, is a real fashion aficionado. Last time I saw her, she was raving about some dresses from an elite designer named Rarity who wasn't from Canterlot. I don't think I ever heard my sister go on and on about a specific designer." "Wow, that's super duper cool. We'll have to let Rarity know after we prank her!", said Pinkie Pie. "So, what are we going to do?" "Hmmmm.... ooh ooh, I got it!! Let's go to the Classy Cafe, whee!!" Pinkie Pie began to run. Rainbow Dash and Sapphire followed. "Rainbow, any idea what Pinkie is talking about?" "Nah, but when she gets an idea for a prank like this, it's best to just let her run with it. She's really creative but super nice about her pranks at the same time.. almost too nice." "Honestly, I wouldn't expect any less from Pinkie Pie." "Me neither. When I first met Pinkie, I used to think she was just lame and loud, but I got to know her really well, especially through our love of pranks." "Neato." The Classy Cafe was a well-designed coffeeshop. It reminded him of a coffeeshop in Manehattan. It wasn't super fancy but probably incredibly fancy by Ponyville standards. It seemed like a Manehattan rip-off, kind of like how Canterlot has all of these "New York Pizza" restaurants like Canterlot could tell the difference between a New York style pizza and its asshole. Rainbow Dash and Sapphire saw Pinkie Pie devilishly rubbing her front hooves together as she was thinking of what she could do. The three ponies walked into Classy Cafe. They were greeted by a waiter. "Table for three", cheered Pinkie Pie. "There is an open table, follow me." "What is Pinkie thinking", whispered Sapphire to Rainbow Dash. "I don't know, but the food here is way overpriced relative to its quality." Pinkie Pie bounced her way to the table which didn't seem to bother the ponies surrounding her. Despite being a relatively high-end coffeeshop, none of the ponies looked like they were part of the upper class, except for one white unicorn who was impatiently looking at the clock on the wall. Sapphire couldn't see the unicorn's cutie mark since she was wearing a purple dress. Sapphire and his two new friends sat at a table somewhat far away from the white unicorn. "Hey, who's Rarity?", asked Sapphire. "That fancy looking unicorn at the other side", said Rainbow. "I know, isn't she gorgeous, as always", squealed Pinkie. "Yea, nice thing to say before you prank the shit out of her", chuckled Rainbow. Sapphire saw Pinkie Pie holding a cushion, hugging it. "These cushions they put on the chairs are so fluffy and soft", said Pinkie. "Need any help, Pinkie Pie?" "Oh, do I! Hey Sapphire, how about you put this "cushion" I made onto Rarity's seat whenever she leaves the table." "Ah, I gotcha there." Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were both giggling like schoolgirls. Seemed like Sapphire was going to be part of the joke too. "How do you know Rarity is going to leave her seat", asked Sapphire. "Oh, I felt my left arm twitch, that means all unicorn mares are going to need the restroom." "Huh.. what now, Pinkie Pie?" "Yea, that's total bullshit, Pinkie Pie", added Rainbow. "It is my Pinkie Sense. For example, if my tail twitches, something falls from the sky, usually onto Twilight's head for some reason and if my left arm twitches, all unicorn mares are going to need to use the restroom at the Classy Cafe when we happen to be there." "Okay, now that makes no sense at all." "Of course it makes sense, it's Pinkie Sense!" Sapphire watched as the one unicorn mare in the restaurant, Rarity, got up from her seat and headed to the restroom. "Pure coincidence", said Sapphire. "Yea, I don't buy it", added Rainbow. "Jeez, can't you two just believe in Pinkie Sense?" "Does Pinkie Sense say that Rainbow Dash is the fastest flier in Equestria?" "Hmmmm.. no... for some reason, it seems to think that I, Pinkie Pie, am the fastest flier in Equestria." "Pinkie Sense making sense or not making sense, shouldn't I go put the cushion on Rarity's seat now?", asked Sapphire. "Okie dokie lokie!" Sapphire took the cushion from Pinkie Pie. It felt like there was air inside. The whoopee cushion? What a low-class trick to play against a probably high-class pony? Sapphire had to act quickly though. He would have used his magic but a levitating whoopee cushion would have probably aroused more suspicion than him just walking to the table and trading the cushions. Sapphire turned around and saw Pinkie and Rainbow staring at him with poker faces. Sapphire approached Rarity's chair and traded the cushions. Sapphire began to walk back but he heard a distinctly upper-class voice. "Why, isn't it Sapphire, the financial wizard of the Wonderbolts?" Sapphire turned around and saw Fancy Pants. He had to get back to Pinkie and Rainbow before Rarity returned. "Hello, Fancy Pants. It is a pleasure to see you. I am at the Classy Cafe for a dignified and totally serious business meeting." "So am I, what brings you to Ponyville?" Good thing ladies all take forever in the bathroom... "Entertaining a proposition from Filthy Rich to enter a partnership, he wants to market the Wonderbolts like crazy in his department stores." "Hmmm, I see. That is a nice cushion you have there by the way, I see what you're doing. Don't worry I won't tell Rarity", said Fancy Pants with a chuckle, "go back to that pink pony and rainbow pegasus over there and I will take care of the rest." Wow, Fancy Pants was cool. Sapphire walked briskly to the table. "Nice job, Sapphire", cheered Pinkie Pie. "You know Fancy Pants", asked Rainbow Dash. "Yea, despite temporarily stooping to your level, I am still a multi-millionaire unicorn who lives the fine life over at Canterlot", Sapphire said with a upper-crust accent. "Tee hee, that was a terrible impression", giggled Pinkie. Sapphire shrugged. He may be rich now but he was certainly not born rich. Sapphire watched as Rarity returned from the restroom. She and Fancy Pants shook front hooves. This was going to be exciting. Rarity pulled her chair out and sat down. Sapphire heard something that sounded like flatulence. Sapphire had trouble holding back his laughter and saw that his two prankster friends were having equal trouble. They saw Rarity gasp. It looked like she was apologizing to Fancy Pants for her poor manners but he simply was holding his nose with a disgusted look on his face. "We unicorns learn all sorts of tricks", whispered Sapphire to Pinkie and Rainbow. Sapphire had his ears focus selectively on the conversation between Rarity and Fancy Pants. "Oh no, I am terribly sorry, Fancy Pants. I don't know how that happened. I know it is most unladylike." "Heavens. It is indeed most unladylike. It is most crass and uncouth. You had tricked me into thinking that you were unable to pass gas." "Oh.. I don't know how to make it up to you, Fancy Pants." "It is something I am going to have to take some time to think about for sure.. yes, indeed." It sounded and looked like that Rarity was doing her best to keep her cool, even though Fancy Pants acted like he was angry with her. She didn't look happy though. Sapphire kept his hearing on Rarity and Fancy Pants but it became silent. Sapphire decided to turn the selective hearing off and then he heard loud banging... cymbals? Indeed, it was Pinkie Pie banging cymbals next to his left ear. "I am so glad that you can hear us again", said Pinkie Pie, "how's Rarity doing?" "She doesn't sound happy, we should make her smile", said Sapphire. "I like the way you think! Come on!" The three of them went over to Rarity and Fancy Pants. "Hi Rarity, I am so happy to run into here." Pinkie grinned. Fancy Pants was still holding his nose at the non-existent smell. Rainbow Dash followed suit. "Oh, good to see you, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. It has been an unfortunate day for me." "It certainly has, I didn't think my little lady friend here could let out such air", said Fancy Pants. "I can smell it", said Rainbow Dash, "ugh." Rarity looked down at the table, clearly embarrassed. "Ooh, I like that new cushion you have, Rarity. It's really nice", said Pinkie Pie. "New cushion", asked Rarity. Rarity got up and saw that it wasn't a real cushion at all but a deflated whoopee cushion. Fancy Pants was the first of the four to laugh out loud. "That is a nice cushion indeed", said Fancy Pants with a smile. Rarity began to laugh herself. "Ah..I should have known, just to let you know, even though I am a lady, I can be a prankster too. All of you need to be careful. Speaking of all of you.. I don't think I met the sapphire gentleman before." "Ms. Rarity, it is a honor to meet you, I am Sapphire", Sapphire kissed Rarity's front hoof. "Sapphire, it is a pleasure to meet you. I see you met two of my closest friends before." "Yes he has, did you know Sapphire works for the Wonderbolts and I am just kinda showing him my style", boasted Rainbow Dash. "The Wonderbolts? But you're a unicorn?" "It is true", said Fancy Pants, "Rarity, I know Sapphire personally from Canterlot. This funny little prankster here is one of the richest ponies in all of Equestria." "All of Equestria? Oh my goodness. You can't be much older than me." "I am not old. I have just been helping the Wonderbolts with their money and am the fastest money maker in all of Equestria", Sapphire said turning to Rainbow Dash. "Very funny, Sapphire. If you had wings, I bet I would kick your ass in a flying competition." "I got a better idea! Let's get some cake. The Classy Cafe must have fantastic deserts." "It does", said Fancy Pants, "but I must admit not as good as the bakery you work at, Ms. Pinkie Pie." "Oh, Fancy Pants, you're such a flatterer", giggled Pinkie. "I think cake would be a splendid idea", said Rarity. "Waiter! Please get us your largest strawberry cake. You have five ponies who desire your finest dessert", said Fancy Pants. Mmmmm.... cake, thought Sapphire.