Why? Why are we still here?
Nightmare Moon has done so little with our time. She wanders aimlessly now, searching for a purpose. We have no more mind games, nor does she. The only thing which keeps us sane is the ever-glowing moon to soothe and calm us whenever we panic.
Our host is not as quick to adapt as we. Her eyes dart frantically about often, searching the walls for some avenue of escape. We suspect she is beginning to feel claustrophobic after being shut away from the sky for so long. We feel my old body as it gets nervous twitches, spontaneous cold sweats, and rapid heartbeats associated with fear.
It does not seem my host will be able to remain in control for much longer.
We have lost track of how long this prison has kept us. For perhaps the first two years, we kept diligent track of every day that had gone by, now evident by the jarring motion that signifies the Moon’s rise and fall. We know not what caused it to hang in the sky for so long; perhaps days pass differently here than they do in Equestria. However, if that were true, then She would not be maintaining the rigid day/night schedule in the same manner as we are familiar with.
So, the Moon graciously saw Equestria for an entire year before my sister learned how to ask things of Her. We wonder if it humbled her at all, if perhaps she learned something of herself and the world she lives in as a consequence.
Our nagging doubt says she has learned nothing, simply subduing the Moon with some untold power. Perhaps the Elements of Harmony?
We shudder to think of the perverted world our sister is creating below us. Now that we are out of the picture, she is free to do as she pleases when she pleases without fear of her sister’s disapproval. We do not expect to find a world we wish to rule when we escape.
Although, it does bring us pause when we recall that she is maintaining the standard day/night cycle, an agreement that we made when first we banished Discord and took responsibility for this from the unicorns. A standard cycle, rather than bribery to more deeply line the pockets of the unicorns, seemed ultimately a good decision, and it shocks us that my sister would first hesitate, then eventually decide to restore the old agreement, even with our absence.
We want to believe she left the Sun in the sky for a whole year to spite us, but we know that Celestia is not to blame for my imprisonment. It was my shortcoming and my shortcoming alone that has us trapped with Nightmare Moon within the very thing that we revere.
We could not ask for a better companion. Nightmare Moon prefers perhaps a radical approach to our more conservative agenda, but our passions, interests, and feelings coincide on a great number of subjects. She is perhaps who we would be, were we more vengeful, quicker to anger, and emotionally unstable.
Even now she ignores us, opting instead to spiral into a form of self-induced madness. We may offer whatever words of consolation we can, but they do little to allay her spreading terror.
We find it ironic that the mare of darkness would succumb to loneliness so quickly. Of course we are alone with her; that does not make us terrified in the same manner as she.
We throw the voice of our mind to the Moon around us. Moon, wouldst Thou speak with us once again? We remain isolated and alone, and our host remains gripped by fear. If Thou simply were to comfort our host, we would be eternally grateful.
For several long moments, there is naught but silence.
Then, slowly, a grating voice slips into our thoughts. Nightmare Moon, I summon my subjects the stars. You will return one day.
Nightmare Moon’s head turns to and fro, her eyes wildly searching the walls for the thing which spoke to her. “Who’s there? What are you saying? When will I escape?” She dares question the Moon, in Her infinite wisdom.
Several long moments are spent with bated breath, then our host releases a frustrated sigh. We can feel the bleakness overtake her, this blank façade of isolation upon which we are enthroned.
While we are inside the Moon, do Nightmare Moon and I rule the subjects within? The Moon is far too busy watching over others to look within Herself. She needs subjects to keep watch for Her.
Nightmare Moon once again wearily scans the landscape. “There is nothing here, Luna. Nothing at all.”
There is the ground upon which we walk. Past that, there is emptiness.
Who rules the vastness of nothing? Is there a ruler of what is not? What will never be? What has already come to pass, to be discarded and tossed aside as we have been all our lives?
Even if we are alone, this is ours. This lack of substance, of being—it needs a champion.
“You’re ridiculous. How can you even pretend at such notions? You’re only putting off the inevitable.” Panic begins creeping into Nightmare Moon’s voice. “We’re going to be stuck here until we die of boredom, of nothing to do, or think, see, feel—I’ll kill myself before I die of boredom just so I can feel pain one last time and not die bored!”
Our host has fabricated a self-induced mania. She now shouts at us, working herself into deeper and deeper a frenzy. “We’re going to die, Luna! Death is all that awaits us here! The Moon whispers lies, She means to give us false hope so that we can be stepped upon one last time by that thing we trusted most! We are no more than foals, pathetic nameless creatures which grovel in the presence of the light and are eternally dissatisfied with our pale pretentious goals! We have no responsibilities, no position, no power! We are sharks without teeth! Squirrels without nuts! Ponies without hooves! Nothing more than worthless, damnable pretenders.”
Nightmare Moon takes a long, rattling breath to calm herself, several tears pattering the floor before her. “We are nothing compared to her, and you know that. It’s better that we die in here than force her to kill us with her own hooves.”
My sister would never kill me.
“And I’m not you. She would kill anything that threatens her precious nation.”
We do not know what my sister will do when next she sees us. Perhaps, after this is all over, we will find a second chance.
We only hope my sister will forgive my past mistakes.
Five years, Luna. Only five years, and already it has been an eternity.
I have become increasingly reclusive as time has dragged on. Most days, I can’t even bring myself past my bedchambers, desiring no more interaction than to poke my head out my door and ask a guard for a meal.
I don’t feel like a ruler. I don’t feel like a princess. I feel like somepony who has lost her sister.
The impact of what has happened is draining me of my willpower. Now that Equestria is moderately safe, I find myself so apathetic that maintaining the day/night cycle is the greatest devotion I can muster.
In the wake of the restoration of the Sun and Moon’s journeys across the sky, the earth ponies went hard to work growing all the crops they could. The seed reserves were completely cleaned out in the effort to restore as many crops as possible, and only now are we taking the seed tax for those growing crops.
Due to the severe lack of crops for well over a year and the drastic reduction of crop yields for the past several years, countless thousands of citizens have starved to death. I saw their skeletal faces as they looked expectantly to me for a solution. I could do nothing to help them, however, and watched as they finally succumbed to the gnawing pain their shrunken stomachs had crippled them with.
From atop my throne, I have watched Equestria come to the precipice and fall down it, then grab that tiny protruding branch in its teeth and haul itself up, bit by bit. Even in their death stares, the ponies who died were waiting for me, their princess, to save them.
Perhaps I am that tiny branch that the citizens have grabbed. If I wasn’t here, would they have all died? Surely there are some unicorns who remember how to raise and lower the Moon; if they hadn’t been waiting for me to do something, I believe they could have risen up and saved themselves. Countless lives would have been saved if I hadn’t taken this ridiculous throne and told Equestria that my sister and I could take care of them.
What kind of foal am I? I blasted my own sister to pieces and brought my own nation to its knees. Of all the incompetents to be found in the vastness of this existence, I have to be the one elevated to a pedestal, to always dash those hopes of the ponies who dote upon me incessantly.
Even now, I hear what the ponies say about me. I have taken to some of Luna’s other responsibilities, sojourning to the realm of dreams, where they dream of sunny skies and noble intentions.
If only they knew the pathetic creature I truly am, their dreams would turn instead to what mine are.
I have been awake for hours, lying in my bed and thinking of my sister. I should reserve my mental faculties for ruling a kingdom, but she intrudes incessantly upon them. I may be able to occupy myself for a time, but Luna is never far from my thoughts.
To erase the past and build a brighter future—that is what I wish for. I wish for a Luna that never left, a Celestia who hadn’t starved her nation to death’s door, and an Equestria which loves both their princesses equally. This is not the life I ever wanted to have.
My thoughts are interrupted promptly by what sounds like chanting outside my door. I realize just as quickly that I’m about a minute past due to shift from night to day. Happy 5th anniversary, Luna. Time to investigate what is happening outside.
I emerge onto my balcony to find a sea of expectant ponies gathered below the castle, their cheers reaching easily to where I view them from above. Their chant of “Ce-le-sti-a! Ce-le-sti-a!” is broken off as I distinctly hear a stallion shout, “Look, I see her!” and a booming cheer rises from the citizens of Equestria.
This is just too much to stomach. I knew that the ponies had been celebrating my banishment of my sister and eventual raising of the Sun every year; that would make this year four that they’re celebrating. Never before had they the gall to approach the castle and sing their songs of praise where I can hear it. They are sensationalists without a cause.
And they are cheering for me.
My horn glows and my eyes envelop in white as I augment my voice as loudly as it will go. “Citizens of Equestria, I beg your ears!”
The crowd before me falls silent, their upturned faces etched in hope and admiration. Stuffy nobles stand near miserly beggars, stallions and mares of earth ponies, unicorns, pegasi, even some of the nocturnal race of bat ponies which command the Night Watch outside the castle.
I have disappointed all of them, yet they expect me to make all things better. This is just too much to stand.
“For five years now, my sister, Princess Luna, has disappeared from our lives. For one whole year, the Moon, which looks over us now, hung in the sky. Yet, only yesterday, I banished the pony I love most from my life.
“Yesterday, I turned the Elements of Harmony on Nightmare Moon and thought I’d prevented Equestria from dying under the Moon’s gaze. Although she was gone, I failed in this task, and countless thousands have perished under the same gaze the Moon gives us now.
“Do not resent the Moon for what it has done. Resent me for failing in my duties as a princess. You wish to cheer and exalt me, but I do not wish for this ceremony. I do not wish to attend any grand gatherings depicting my heroism, or to be recognized as the one who banished Nightmare Moon.
“Every night, I look up at the Moon and I pray that Luna return to me. Yet, even were she to return, you would ask for her blood, while holding my transgressions to be positive. All Luna has ever wanted is your love, but you give it to me, the ruler who starved half her nation to death.
“If there is any pony to celebrate this day for, let it be my sister. She lost herself on this day five years ago, but she has learned something of herself as a consequence. I wish to commemorate this day to her safe return, to remember what she lost and wait in hope to see her again.”
As my final words die out, the crowd remains silent, stunned at what still echoes around them. Did they not realize that I am to blame for their problems? That Luna has never been the villain?
There are no cheers raised, nor are there any words of anger. Instead, there is a rumbling mental echo that resounds through the courtyard. “Celebrate 1000 years and she will return. My subjects the stars hasten.”
The citizens of Equestria are turning their heads to and fro in bewilderment, recognition not registering on any of their faces. All except...
The handful of bat ponies in the crowd have taken to the sky, their voices united in a chorus of “Lu-na! Lu-na!” Eventually, the entire mob of ponies joins them, the others hesitantly lending their voices to those of the bat ponies until the amassed crowd cheers for my sister.
Something feels right about what has happened today. I only hope 1000 years is long enough to forget my mistakes.