//------------------------------//
// Don't Go Into The Woods 
// Story: A Tour of Neopia 
// by nightelf37 
//------------------------------//

The second stop for the Equestrians' tour of Neopia was the Haunted Woods. As the party of ten crossed the forbidding forest, the ponies couldn't help but note that it looked less like a forest and more like a maze with trees, dead or spooky-looking, serving as the walls. A twisting path snaked between the spooky trees, and translucent, red-eyed rodents (the neopets called Meepits) dancing between them. Tychophon looked quite regretful on seeing Fluttershy quiver from the eyes. 

Despite it being light out back in Faerieland, the Haunted Woods was plunged in darkness for reasons unknown even to the neopets. There was also a great deal of fog, though not as thick as usual. It didn't help that Messerole was whistling a tune appropriate for the setting. Even the sight of other 'normal' neopets wandering the woods didn't ease them.

"Believe me, it's much darker in the night," Tychophon assured them.

"Were-were th-those r-r-real gh-gh-ghosts just now?" Fluttershy asked.

The shoyru was uncertain how to break it to them that there were real ghosts of  neopets (and petpets) and that Ghost is another Color both can have. In the end, he decided that while saying there are both isn't a nice answer, having her or the others find out the truth later didn't sound appealing either. "No and yes. Ghost is actually another Color we neopets can be colored in, and we have a system to differentiate between them and real specters. Not all 'real ghosts' are evil, although it's best to stay on your guard."


All of a sudden, something fast zoomed right into them, specifically Pinkie Pie's face. Immediately, the earth pony began to run about in panic and it stopped the whistling. "Giant bat! Giant bat on my face! Heeeelp!"

Twilight was quick to pull whatever it was out of Pinkie's face and immediately brought its face to hers. (Pinkie had stopped the moment her face was clear. The "bat" was about Euryflavia's height (counting her ears), and was very much like a vampire bat except it had a slender but strong triangle-tipped tail and more opposable digits than an ordinary one. Its body was also primarily white, its claws were yellow, and its wings were red. It was a korbat, another of the many species of neopets.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" said the red neopet, revealing to be a male. "I should be watching where I'm going."

Messerole reacted in surprise as he and the other three neopets surrounded him as Twilight let him down. "Roktabio! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be tending to the shop?"

"Sorry, guys, but I have to provide a report. Since your User is gone for the moment, I thought I'd tell you. Had no idea you were currently taking up a job as tour guides. And with the Equestrian delegates to boot."

This surprise the grundo even more. "News of this already reached all the way to Neopia Central?! So soon?"

"Rumors, pal. Word has got out that prior to you-know-what in Faerieland just yesterday, there had been a meeting with all of Neopia's rulers in Faerieland Castle. Queen Fyora, King Altador, Princess Amira, Lord Darigan, Governor McGill, every land had a representative, including that 'non-existent' world. Except Lutari Island, which is still under attack from harsh tropical storms even to this day."

"What were these rumors?" As they talked, the rest of the ponies surrounded the group.

"The rumors said that the meeting had involved some ruler of an undiscovered kingdom, more of a principality. The visitor had the basic form of a uni, but was much taller, and more majestic, more so than a Royalgirl uni, and without much clothing either."

"Princess Celestia?" Twilight whispered to herself.

Roktabio seemed to hear. "While The ones who picked up the rumor certainly know the visitor's female, they didn't pick up her name or even description. They also heard that the visitor was a ruling Princess, like Amira of Sakhmet, although whether or not she keeps the title out of respect for her father like Amira is not known."


"Hold on a second!" Messerole interrupted. "What's this report you wish to provide us? Unless this rumor thing is the report."

"Oh, right." The korbat rubbed the back of his head. "My report is that…some of lands are already preparing for the arrival of the delegates. Just thought I'd give you a heads-up."

"I see. Why don't you tag along with us for the moment? Get to know the delegates."

"Sure, why not? I just closed the shop." And with that, the Red korbat joined the party and they continued walking. 


"A shop?" Rarity asked. "What do you sell there?"

"Their User calls it 'Yellow Travelers Food Shop Deluxe', but we sell stuff aside from food whenever possible," Roktabio explained. "And before you ask, I am not User-bound like your tour guides. I'm just their hired help for shopkeeping."





As the party of eleven traversed the woods, passing a graveyard for "games" and a creepy castle the neopets made sure the ponies didn't visit, as well as Pinkie acquiring Neopet masks to take home, a creepy voice called out to them.

"Twilight Sparkle!" it said, alarming everyone in the area save the local residents, who just paused for a moment before going about their business.

"It's the Brain Tree," Euryflavia explained. "It's best we heed his call. Follow us."

A few quick turns later, as well as a fright from some hanging spyders, black six-legged and -eyed spider petpets, the group finally reached a dead tree with what could only be described as a large brain (that was pulsating!) in place of its leaves. Branches protruded from this brain, and in its trunk was a face with red eyes.

Two other Neopets seemed to have answered his call as well. One was a Blue gnorbu, a long-haired llama-like neopet with a long flowing mane around her neck and a tassel-like tail. She was 33 centimeters tall, shorter than even Messerole. Another was a Green xweetok, a quadruped with a fluffy ruff and mane, which stretched down its back to the tail, curved black markings on its forehead, and distinctive large, dark eyes. She was even smaller, standing at 26 centimeters.

"Ah…Twilight Sparkle. I've been expecting you and your friends!" he said, which brought a shock to the ponies, and elicited visible cringes from two of them. It then addressed the Neopets. "Leave! I shall not be conducting quests for the time being! I was calling for the world foreigner!" Meekly, the two non-yellow neopets left. His gaze turned to the four that remained.

"We are their tour guides, sir." Tychophon quickly explained.

"I see."

"What did you call us for, sir?" Twilight asked. "And how did you know my name?"

"Two days ago, your name was mentioned in a meeting between Neopia's leaders. I was representative for the Haunted Woods. I heard your name through the world foreigner, Equestria I remember is the name of the place. She was a uni-like creature taller than the Faerie Queen herself, had a mane and tail that flowed on its own in four colors, and a marking on her flank that depicted the sun."

"Princess Celestia?!"

"That is her name! I called you here because I thirst for knowledge! And the knowledge I crave for…is—"

"Iiiii ammmmmm hungryyyyyyy, feeeeedddd mmmmeeee aaaaannnndddd Iiiiii willlllllll rewwwwwaaarrrdddd yoooooooouuuuuuuuuuu…," another creepy voice came.

Everybody, including the two who had fainted, turned to see a dark cyan goop-ike creature with a huge mouth, a pair of large hands, and red evil eyes lurking nearby, just outside the Brain Tree's area. A group of neopets had just entered his domain.

The Brain Tree gave off a sigh. "You have to forgive him. You see, the Esophagor always has such an appetite. In fact, food is pretty much the only thing that he thinks about, and that is what he demands in his quests. He does help me a bit in the quests I give neopets."

"You give quests too, Mister Brain Tree?" asked Pinkie. 

"Yes. Both of us give quests for users. The Esopagor demands food, while I want to know when and where a certain neopet died…which the Esophagor knows, but…"

"Lemme guess," said Rainbow. "He wants food in return."

"Yes. Both of us are also available as challengers in the Battledome, but I only accept those who have accomplished one of my quests. Unfortunately, the User who 'owns' these four Neopets have not done so."

"He doesn't really find them worth it," Messerole whispered to Fluttershy.

"Iiiiii aaaaammmmm soooooo hungrrryyy…..Iiiii neeeedddd toooo eaattttt soooonnnn…," the Esophagor complained as the neopets left.

If the Brain Tree could roll his eyes, he probably would've done so. "You wouldn't mind getting him some food, will you? He always gets so upset when he doesn't get food. I'll make it worth your while, but you still won't get me as a challenger."

"We just saw some neopets there a while ago. Won't they be able to feed him?"

"It always helps to feed him more."

"I'll do it," Roktabio offered as he flew toward the Esophagor.

Once he was gone, the Brain Tree spoke again. "As I was saying before the Esophagor interrupted me, the knowledge I crave for is…everything about Equestria you are allowed to confide. I am aware that you have your secrets you may not wish to reveal, and I shall respect that."





"To be honest, we don't visit the tree that much, or the Haunted Woods in general for that matter."

It took a quite some time for the ponies to talk about Equestria, especially since the Brain Tree looked 'evil'. A bunch of time was saved by Twilight using a memory spell to relay all that she knows to the knowledge seeker. She was surprised it worked and had no strange side effects. The Brain Tree was unable to know how to replicate the spell though (thankfully for her).

As thanks for feeding the Esophagor, Roktabio was bestowed a Lucky Robots Foot, a sharp item that it supposed to be a one-use item for healing.

Also, Fluttershy thought to herself, I changed my mind. I don't like to be a tree. Not that tree, anyway.


"So, who is this Edna?" Twilight asked their tour guides.

"She's the residential sorceress of the Haunted Woods," Aquanax explained as she took to the air. "She's not very good at spells though. And she doesn't use magic the way you unicorns do either; she needs ingredients and a cauldron to mix them in to perform them."

The ponies immediately thought of Zecora, a zebra friend of theirs who resides in the Everfree Forest.

"Is Edna an evil enchantress?" Pinkie suddenly asked.

The acara thoughtfully put a paw to her chin. "Well, we're not sure on her being evil or not, but she certainly isn't nice. She does give quests though, just like the Esophagor and the Brain Tree, bestows prizes on whoever completes it (usually not worth it), and can be challenged in the Battledome, but only at midnight. She also takes a power nap at noon. Thankfully for you, we're not gonna visit her, 'cause said power nap is right now."

"Where are we headed?" asked Roktabio, who was flying alongside Aquanax, his Lucky Robots Foot dangling in his tail.

"The Deserted Fairground," answered Messerole. "After that, we're going to Neovia."


The party of eleven crossed the black iron gates that served as the entrance to the Deserted Fairgrounds…which, while desolate, was certainly not deserted. There were a couple of carnival stalls, shops, a castle in the distance, and a mediocre amount of neopets—Ghost and otherwise—at the stalls or mulling about. Just as the group crossed the gate, klaxons and red lights went off, alarming all inside.

"What's happenin'?" shouted Applejack as they saw the game stalls and stores close, some of the wandering Neopets taking refuge in them before they could be locked out. The gate behind the group also closed, 'locking' them inside.

"Oh bother," groaned Tychophon. "It looks like the robotic Chia Clowns from the nearby carnival are causing problems again. This is our first time seeing it happen though."

"Roktabio, get the ponies to safety." instructed Euryflavia. "Unless they want to give robot wrecking a try. We gotta warn you; the pies they throw can cause stomach cramps when you ingest so much as the filling, so try not to get hit!"

Rainbow Dash was the first to volunteer. "Count me in!"

"Me too!" Applejack.

"Me three!" Pinkie Pie.

"I'll help as well." Twilight Sparkle.

"Pies? Please count me out. I can't possibly get my mane all messed up for this." Rarity.

"I'll stay out as well, if that's okay." Fluttershy.

"All right, but prepare to defend yourselves if they attack us. You two come with me." Roktabio led them someplace safer than where they were currently, namely near the Cork Gun Gallery. 


Twilight flared her horn, Rainbow got ready to charge, and Applejack produced a lasso from underneath her hat. Some of the other neopets in the area who stayed behind readied themselves as well, half of them producing weapons. The ones who failed to find a a safe place in time went and hid as well as they could.

And that's when the first pie came into view. It hit an unfortunate kougra in the face before its thrower came into view, followed by plenty more robots. Aquanax was the first in the 'tour group' to charge. Rainbow immediately followed her, and so did everyone else.

A volley of pies headed their way, but magic blasts from Twilight's horn and sound-based blasts from Messerole's antennae splatted them before they could land. It did split them into cream rain, but these had less of a chance to induce accidentally swallowing than when they're whole.


Rainbow plowed through the robot horde, smashing through them before ascending to get a better look at the situation. It wasn't particularly bleak and her friends and the other neopets seemed very capable of handling themselves. However, more and more robots were appearing out of various hiding spots. More curiously, a couple of them were floating down from the sky on umbrellas. And the pegasus had to dodge projectiles from the neopets below as well as Aquanax coming in to assist her.

"Hey," she addressed the acara. "How tough are those wings?"

"Plenty tough for me to tussle in the Battledome and still go about flying immediately after. They regenerate if they get torn."

"Wow, that's cool. Let's see who can bust the most robots while in the air!"

"You're on, Dashie!" 

"Only Pinkie Pie's allowed to call me that." And the two of them started bashing robots.


Below, one Chia Clown robot was about to charge a particularly unskilled neopet as it ticked like a time bomb before a lasso wrapped itself around its body and pulled it towards a couple more robots, exploding on impact. 

"Just who in Sam Hill made these robots, anyway?" Applejack wondered as she pulled back her lasso, which was a bit charred but still all right. Given the explosion, she thought it would've been broken. She turned to the neopet she rescued. "Yer all right, sugarcube?"

The neopet in question was a flotsam, a small dolphin-like neopet who could probably be easily carried in Spike's arms. She had two flexible forefins that seemed to be holding a ring, and an elegant tail divided into two curved fins. She also had a smooth horn on its forehead. She was colored teal, and wore various 'high-class' items like a ring at the base of her tail, an amulet, a regal coat, two bracelets on her forefins, and a crown that circled her horn and extended until her dorsal fin. Tychophon would explain later that she was colored Royal, which in turn has two different styles depending on the gender.

"I'm fi—" She raised a fin and pointed behind her rescuer. "Look out!" Instinctively, Applejack raised her hind legs, but before she could hit the robot that came up from behind, something else did. A Shadow (black) ogrin wielding a four-colored blade in his mouth. The blade cleanly bisected the machine and its halves fell.

(An ogrin was a furry quadruped Neopet with a stiff mane, a long thin neck ringed by a fluffy ruff, tassel-like ears and tail, stripe markings on their backs and hind legs, stood nearly as tall as Euryflavia, and—unusually for one of its build and general shape—paws rather than hooves.)

Luckily for the neopet, the earth pony had enough control not to end up kicking him. Applejack lowered her hindlegs, then tipped her hat to the ogrin in thanks. 


Elsewhere, a regiment of Chia Clown robots was being bombarded by Pinkie, who was throwing the custard treats they were throwing right back at them, to the surprise of the neopets behind her. The way she was flipping around, catching the pies with her hooves before they hit, and doing back-at-yas, all while keeping a gleeful face, it just baffled them senseless, although some neopets who had ranged attacks took advantage of this and shot the robots.


There were never this many before… Tychophon thought as he busied himself punching robots that were floating down when he saw Twilight on the defensive as she erected a barrier around herself and some neopets who have 'eaten' some of the pies. Messerole was among those victims. Euryflavia was inside as well, trying to find an opportunity to charge. She was being 'pummeled' by the pies coming from a marching Chia Clown robot group and didn't look like she could hold it for long.

Deciding to be a hero, they shoyru dive-bombed the robots, wrecking one on impact and disrupting the others enough for his usul User-mate to dash out of the barrier, take out a gold wheel from hammerspace, and slice the robots with it. This in turn allowed Twilight to dismiss her barrier and fire back at the robots, knocking them back before they are destroyed by the two of her tour guides.


Before long, the battle ended as quickly as it began. Peculiarly for robots like them, they retreated to the carnival whence they came. Rainbow considered following them, but Aquanax stopped her for three reasons, which she explained. One, many Neopets like to live for this sort of thing; adventuring and fighting. Two, neopoints are earned for participating in this activity. And three, as world foreigners, the ponies are not allowed to interfere with local affairs.

Also, Rainbow won their little side-bet by two robots.





After cleaning up the fairground of scrap metal, collecting the neopoint reward, and recovering from the pies, the tour guide party acquainted themselves with the flotsam Applejack rescued earlier. 

"Delegates, I'd like to introduce you to a Neopet whose User is the sister to our User," Tychophon introduced.

"Hi, I'm Vaniray," the flotsam said as she extended a fin. "Nice to meet you." She shook each of the ponies' hooves as the shoyru gave their names.

"What're you doing here, Vaniray?" asked Euryflavia.

"Well, with my User off for the time being…again…I decided a little trip to the Haunted Fairground would do a little good. She's so paranoid about us getting hurt and ever since getting a loss in the Battledome I haven't been able to participate. I'm nowhere near as strong as you guys."

"We're nowhere near top notch, either." The usul brushed her head with her hands, bending her ears back as she did so. "We haven't been in the Dome for quite some time. At least not with our User, anyway."

"It doesn't help that while our User booked us in a hotel in Neopia Central, we do have to tend to our Neohome in Faerieland," added Tychophon.

"Give us a moment, will you?" Aquanax told Twilight. "We're just catching up on old times. Why don't you girls go try out some of the games?"

"Um, they already are. Messerole gave them enough bits for one game each. He's probably at the Cork Gun Gallery with Fluttershy by now." Rainbow and Applejack were en route to the Test Your Strength, Euryflavia going after them. Pinkie was headed for the Wheel of Misfortune. Rarity was going to give Bagatelle a try, not knowing that a petpetpet was involved. Roktabio had decided to check out the furniture store. "I think I'll give Coconut Shy a try, okay?"

"Go ahead." She gave her some neopoints. "Gotta warn you, though. Nearly all the games are kinda…rigged."

"What?!"

"Every neopet and their User knows it, but some of the prizes here really are worth it, just not to our User."

"I see."

"There's also a scratchcard stall here, but we don't really go there."

"Scratchcards?"

Aquanax did a facepaw. "Oh, right. Never mind." Right. They're a race without easy means to use such things. Even though there are other races like griffons—who are similar to eyries, except they lack manes, have talons instead of paws as their forelegs, and only tiny unseen holes for ears just like most birds. Wonder how they'll react upon seeing an eyrie?





The two athletic ponies, accompanied by their usul tour guide, were standing in front of the Test Your Strength high striker. But instead of a bulls-eye in front of them to buck like they were used to, there was a red button.

"So how do we play this game?"

"Dunno. But it sure doesn't involve buckin'."

"That's right, ladies," said Arnold, the owner. "You're only allowed to use this mallet." He handed it over to Applejack, who took it with her mouth. "Swing it to strike the button and see how strong you really are! I assure you, this game is not rigged."

This earned him extremely harsh glares from the two ponies. Knowing the game, the usul just stood back and watched, but was ready to stop them from committing assault and battery. "I know a swindler when I see one!" Rainbow said as she poked a hoof at the mynci.

"And from the way ye said that, yer implyin' that the other games're rigged," added the farmpony as she spit out the mallet and approached the stall owner. "What's t' say yers isn't, huh?"

Arnold attempted to defuse the situation. "Come on, ladies. There's no need for violence. It's not like I'm forcing you to play."

"Maybe, but it certainly ain't nice what yer doin'."

"If it's okay with you ladies, I'd like to try this game." The usul and two mares turned around to see a Green meerca walk over.

Meercas were furry bipedal Neopets with very short legs, a long, thick and flexible tail, large ears, small eyes and nose, and two prominent front teeth for gnawing. From what they were told, meercas would reach 80 centimeters high if they stood on their tails, which they can do, but this particular one seemed to be slightly bigger overall and would probably reach higher.

Euryflavia let off a loud gasp. "I don't believe it! It's…it's…" Still trying to get over her shock, she was about to speak again before the meerca beat her to it.

"Look, I don't know how some neopets are able to identify me among other Green meercas, but please, I don't want any questions or autographs."

The usul instantly passed out like an overenthusiastic fangirl whose dreams came true. Arnold and the two ponies just stared before Rainbow asked the meerca, "Just who are you that you were able to make her swoon like that?"

"Oh, you must be the delegates from Equestria. I was in Faerieland yesterday when that princess showed up. Man, was her voice loud. I could still remember my ears ringing." He extended a stubby hand. "I'm Gregorio Maille, former Yooyuball player for Meridell. Not that you'd know that."

"Yooyuball? What's that?"

"Yooyuball is only the most well-known game in the Altador Cup, an annual event that unites all of Neopia in competition." 

"Like the Equestrian Games!" the pegasus whispered to herself.

Gregorio either didn't hear or paid no heed. "Eighteen nations, including Altador, participate in hopes of achieving eternal glory, and Users take sides in hopes of prizes and commemorative souvenirs. You should ask your tour guides for more. I'm just here to enjoy myself." He tossed 100 neopoints to Arnold.

"I better warn ya, that game is rigged," said Applejack.

"I know," answered the retired player as he picked up the mallet. "But I don't care. It is possible to win this." He walked over to the button, then stood up on his strong tail. "Here goes!" With a cry, he 'jumped' down, smashed the button with the mallet…and everyone watched the meter rise…all the way to "Jackpot".

"Well, well, well. Looks like we have a winner!" Arnold said as a trapdoor opened between the button and the tower and out popped a large sack. "Your prize is one million neopoints!"

"All right!" whooped the meerca as he left the mallet, hefted the sack, put it in his personal hammerspace, and went on his way, bypassing two gaping mares and a still passed out usul. "See you in Meridell!"

A few seconds later, once he was out of sight, Rainbow immediately took the mallet, gave the neopoints, and said, "I'm next!"

The mynci couldn't help but feel the fates smiling down on him for this turnabout. Euryflavia just muttered to herself dreamily as she lay on the ground.





"Hit those nails in harder, you don't want…" The quiggle stall owner stopped upon seeing Twilight come over. "Sorry, I didn't see you there. Hello and WELCOME to the Haunted Woods Fairground Coconut Shy. Just 100 of your finest Neopoints gets you a throw. Knock down a coconut and win TEN THOUSAND NEOPOINTS, plus a very special (and exclusive) prize! Hitting the coconut earns you 50 NP, and if you nearly knock it down I'll give you 300."

Concentrating as she 'picked up' a tennis ball, Twilight mentally analyzed all the factors required, including the possibility that the game is rigged just like Aquanax said. The acara had given her enough neopoints for five throws; any more she'll have to earn from the game.

Still, throwing it with all her might could possibly make her throw too strong. So she tried to ease up a little before finally 'throwing' the ball.





Pinkie stood in front of the Wheel of Misfortune, somehow not getting that such a name might bode something dark. 

"Who dares to step forward and give the Wheel of Misfortune a spin?" said the ghostly figure. "For a mere pittance, you can give the Wheel a whirl and see where it lands! Bear in mind, however, that you can only spin the Wheel once every two hours. Go on, spin. You know you want to. It won't hurt…much."

With 150 neopoints, she spun the wheel, then gave the money to the figure. She then backpedaled a bit and watched the wheel spin. Eventually, it stopped…on a space depicting some strange substance.

"Mwhaha, now you know why it's called the Wheel of Misfortune!" laughed the figure.

All of a sudden, something was pulled out of…somewhere from Pinkie, and it turned into a pile of sludge. 

"Return for another spin in two hours… if you dare!" said the figure as a scream of agony followed.





"Well hello there, stranger!" the anthro aisha stall owner Lyanka greeted Messerole and Fluttershy. "Welcome to the FINEST game kiosk this side of the Wheel of Misfortune, which is just over there." She pointed at said wheel, where Pinkie seemed to be ready to spin it. "For a mere 100 Neopoints per shot, you could be on your way to winning fabulous prizes! Such a very small price to pay, don't you think?

If you manage to knock one of those faboo items off the shelf, you get to keep it as a prize! Aim carefully, though. If you miss, you're out of luck… not that missing happens often or anything. I mean it's so easy, a Meowclops could do it. Look at this face. Would I lie to you?"

"Yes, she would," whispered the grundo as Lyanka handed him the cork gun. He paid the neopoints and handed the gun to to the pegasus. "Aim well. And try to get the yellow box."

Fluttershy followed him as best as she gould, given her hooves. Messerole then cranked the gun, readying it to fire.





"Fancy a game? 250 Neopoints and you're in!"

After giving the stall owner 250 neopoints, Rarity watched as he tossed the poor little mootix (a green 'petpetpet' with two antennae, a body of wide yellow-and-green stripes, and four yellow appendages) into the air. She had also immediately noted the two books on the left legs of the table with the Bagatelle stand; obviously, the game was rigged.

Well, two can play at this game. As the mootix entered the bean machine, Rarity used her telekinesis to influence its movements. She didn't know whether or not neopets can see unicorn magic in action, so while she did that, she also took out a pocket mirror and checked herself out. The petpetpet eventually landed on Slot 12; getting the jackpot on the go would look very suspicious. Her prize… Bagatelle Coloured Pencils.

Oh well. At least Sweetie Belle and I could use these.





"…and it's because of that we no longer go Apple Bobbing," Vaniray finished.

"I see," replied Tychophon.

"Well, I'll be headed back to Faerieland now." The flotsam began to 'swim' away, hovering in midair thanks to a little inherent Neopet magic.

"Say hello to Irishmae, Perlipy, and Mhargaux for us!"

"I will!"

Once the flotsam was gone, he turned to face Aquanax and said, "Well, let's see how the others are doing. I'm glad we started the tour early, but I'd like us to be out of the woods before noon."

The acara's face blanched at this as she argued, "And into the Lost Desert?! Hot climate plus noon time equals bad idea! At least our User has a protective system that protects us from the elements, allows us to go underwater without that potion or pendant the Black Pawkeet's crew use!" 

The two of them started walking toward the Wheel of Misfortune. "Come on. We also know that Lucky Coin plot. Those three weren't fit for adventuring, yet—"

"Barely, maybe. But we don't know just how well ponies can endure the desert. Sure, there's such a region in Equestria, but have they been there?"

"Why don't we ask the—" The shoyru cut himself short as he and Aquanax saw Pinkie letting off the ocular gushers. A pile of sludge sat next to her. "Oh no." The two of them immediately flew over to the crying pony.

"Pinkie, what's wrong? What did you lose?"

"I thought my hammerspace was the safest place in the universe to hold my things!" she answered between sobs before returning to full-blown crying. "I was wrong! And now, my party cannon's gone!"

The two yellow neopets faced one another in confusion. "Party cannon?"

"I never leave home without it!"

"Oh dear." It was the shoyru's turn to blanch. "I'm not sure if there's anything we can do to replace it. I mean—"

Pinkie then surprised the by doing an emotional one-eighty. "It's okay! I got backups! And I can always order a new one." She then went sad again, but thankfully not to the level of crying again. "But they're all back in Equestria. I'll have to do more work if I'm to throw a party in this unfamiliar land."

"What did you do?!"

The two neopets turned to see the rest of the tour party returning (not together yet). The first was Rainbow Dash and Applejack, one of them carrying a Baby Fireball Lamp (which the neopets were jealous of her for), and the other a commemorative mug. Euryflavia was following them, and looking as if she was restraining herself from bursting into joy, for wht reason they didn't know. It was the pegasus who asked the question.

"Well, Pinkie tried out the Wheel of Misfortune, and got one of her items turned into sludge," explained the acara. "Unfortunately, that poor item was her 'party cannon'. It's our fault for not warning her that even hammerspace is not a completely safe place to keep your things in Neopia."

"Our User has lost plenty of items over the years to this wheel, as well as a few other unscrupulous figures," confessed Tychophon. "Thankfully, he's learned to put a lot of junk in his inventory and store his important stuff into his safety deposit box."

Rarity soon followed, along with Roktabio. Next was Fluttershy, with Messerole behind her…carrying lots of food, half of them Achyfi™ cans. This completely boggled the ones gathered so far.

"I know, right?" the grundo grunted as he tried to keep the pile steady. "She must be insanely lucky to have knocked down prizes with every shot, even when they veer off to the side. Now I understand how Wallace feels when he tries to balance his pile of junk."

"Wallace?" parroted Rarity. "Who's he?"

"He's a character in a video game called Wicked Wocky Wobble. You do have video games in Equestria, right?"

"We have arcade cabinets. One colt I know named Button Mash plays them a lot."

"That counts. Any—whoops, no handhelds. You don't even have hands."

And then Twilight was the last to arrive, looking annoyed. With her are a sack of bits…and a Wailing Evil Coconut. It would've earned her envious looks from the neopets were it not for what the coconut said.

"Good night! Good night!" it said.

The neopets recognized it. "mr.coconut?!" the five gasped as the unicorn dropped it and it landed on the ground.

"Good night!" it said again, seemingly unfazed by the fact that it was dropped.

"It's him, all right," snarked Euryflavia.

"Good night."

"You know this…uhh…coconut?" Twilight asked.

"mr. coconut. He's an editor in The Neopian Times, Neopia's most popular newspaper for the Users, don't ask how," Tychophon explained. "We should take him to Neopia Central."

"Good night, good night, good night, good night."

"What was that, mr.coconut?" Pinkie asked as she approached mr.coconut.

As it continued to reply in "good night"s, Messerole grumbled as he said, "Yeah, that's all he can say. Let's continue the tour."

Finally, the usul couldn't hold it in anymore. "Guys! Guess what! I just met Gregorio Maille!"

The grundo's eyes widened. "You're kidding!"

"Well, the green meerca we encountered did say that was his name," Rainbow confirmed.

"You lucky bastards," Aquanax said. "To have met an Altador Cup athlete in person… We usually only see them from the stands."





After checking out Castle Nox, which didn't have much do go on about, Pinkie and mr.coconut were finally finished with their "conversation" as the group exited the fairground and continued on through the Haunted Woods.

"So, what did mr.coconut say?" Roktabio wondered. "You seemed to understand him somehow."

"Oh, he said that he's in no hurry to return to Neopia Central. He also knows we're in a tour and that he'd like to stay in the tour guides' backpack for the time being."

"Okay." The korbat took hold of mr.coconut, then turned to Tychophon, who was in the lead and wearing the backpack, and prepared to throw. "Hey, Tych! Catch!"

"Don't treat mr.coconut ike that!" called back the shoyru. "Bring him here!"

The red neopet did as told and eventually the internally-on-fire fruit was inside the backpack. It still boggled Twilight's mind as to how it worked, stuffing mr.coconut inside a bag smaller than him.

"Now that Pinkie Pie's incessant conversation with mr.coconut is over, let me tell you where we're going next; we're headed to a quaint little town called Neovia."


The group soon found themselves at a gypsy camp. The heat of the fire crackled along merrily to the clinking of the tambourine one gypsy was clutching in her paw. She was singing along with another gypsy to what was presumably an old Haunted Woods tale. Here they rested, and the four tour guides decided to tell a story, the gypsies helping by playing music and doing other parlor tricks to create effects. Throughout the storytelling, the group ate the food Fluttershy had won, although the neopets made sure the ponies didn't get anything with 'prawn' in the name.

"Before we enter Neovia, I'd like to tell a story about it," Euryflavia began as she tossed a snack into her mouth and munched it. "It all started long ago, beginning with an ordinary family of five. The eldest son, Bruno, was painfully shy and had an eye for one beautiful girl. Unfortunately, he had a weak constitution, and lacked anything that would make a surprise turnabout." She glanced and raised her eyebrows at Fluttershy. "And then one night, he encountered a stranger, who offered a elixir in exchange for—"

"His soul?" guessed Pinkie.

"Someone dear to him?" Rarity.

"Eternal servitude?" Fluttershy.

"No. Just a handful of neopoints." 

"Seriously?" asked Applejack.

"Yes. That night, Bruno took the elixir, and the next day, he became handsome, strong, and confident. He told his father Edmund about it, who was predictablyskeptical. However, his business had begun failing over the years. He soon encountered the stranger, and—with nothing to lose—took the elixir. He achieved financial prosperity as a result, and word soon spread. Soon, everybody wanted the potion, and the stranger was all too generous. All of the consumers of the elixir had their dreams fulfilled. But…"

"Let me guess," Rainbow put in. "It was then that the elixir began its horrible side effects, right?"

"Wow, that was rather savvy of you," commented Messerole.

"I read a similar case in a Daring Do book once."

"Oh."

"You'd be spot-on there, Rainbow Dash," agreed Euryflavia. "Edmund became paranoid and miserly, Bruno turned into a hulking monstrosity, and his brother Reginald became too smart for anybody to follow his conversations anymore and he had to take lonely refuge among his books." Everypony glanced at Twilight, who cringed (possibly) at the fact that she might've gone down that path were it not for her friends, and even today she still skirted that path a bit. "The other townspeople underwent similar changes, their greed and ambitions turning them into far worse neopets than they ever thought they could be."

"Naturally, they placed blame on the stranger who gave them the potion, but he had disappeared," Tychophon continued. "Desperate for a scapegoat, they pinned the blame on Edmund and his family, since they had advertized the elixir. Only Sophie, the youngest of the family, hadn't taken the potion and Bruno told Reginald to take her into the Haunted Woods for refuge until the danger passed while he himself distracted the angry mob.

"In the woods, the two ran into Ilere, an earth faerie feared in Neovia. She wasn't too nice a fellow, but she offered to take in Sophie. With no other choice, Reginald accepted. Meanwhile, the mob had cornered Bruno, who was forced to flee into the woods. As they followed, Reginald returned, and led his parents to an abandoned mansion that had numerous secret hiding places. When the mob returned to town after losing Bruno, they started turning on one another until their mayor, Thumburt, brought them to stop. He proposed that they summon the Spirit of Slumber to cure them of their curse, who agreed to do so, but at the price of turning them into ghosts, not Ghost Color as that didn't exist at the time, and haunt their town every Halloween night."

"We skip ten years later to a little usul girl named Gilly, who recently escaped a haunted mansion we passed earlier in this tour of ours and found herself in this very camp, where she was told this very tale we covered just now," Aquanax took over. "After spending a night there, she headed off that way…" She pointed a paw at a creepy path leading away from the camp and into some glowing town lights in the distance. "At that time, Neovia was a ruin. There, she found a strange locket. Hoping to find answers about it, she eventually made her way to the shack of a swamp witch, who happens to be Sophie, all grown up. The Witch seemed to recognize the locket, and grew angry, forcing Gilly out of her shack. 

"The poor usul was forced to take refuge in a cave for the night. There, she found a horrible monster, and managed to knock him out for a while before having to flee back to Sophie with the monster in tow. Sophie answered the door, only to recognize the monster as Bruno, her brother. It turns out that Bruno had lost the mob ten years ago by taking refuge in a cave, the very one Gilly went in, and stayed there ever since."

"Until Gilly found him, right?" said Applejack.

"Mm-hmm. As for Sophie, Ilere merely gave her some basic magic ingredients for survival before vanishing, putting her on the path of witchcraft. Cold, I know. A few days after Ilere had left, Sophie kept returning to Neovia, puzzled that the town had become abandoned. Until Halloween night, where she saw the ghosts. Since then, she had been at hard work on a cure, but without much success. Then Gilly stepped in and mentioned the story we told you before the 'time skip'. With that, Sophie figured Ilere would have an idea and she and Bruno set off, Gilly tagging along."

"It was a long journey, but they eventually found Ilere's place. She wasn't particularly helpful and unfortunately knew little, suggesting they ask the older denizens of the forest. She also hoped they would fail for their sakes. Gilly suggested the Brain Tree, but Sophie had a bad experience with him, blasted the usul for it, and was called out on by her brother. When they asked the Brain Tree, he said he'll only tell them the Spirit of Slumber's real name when they tell him when he died. Gilly then suggested the Esophagor, who told them to tell him his real name before he tells them when he died."

"That's hardly fair!" complained Pinkie. "They need the name to know when he died, but then need to find out when he died to know the name!"

"I know, right?" agreed Messerole as he decided to take over storytelling for his User-mate. "Because of that, Sophie suggested that she may be able to find his name if they had access to his bones. Unfortunately, that meant digging up every single grave in the Haunted Woods until they found him." This unnerved the ponies; gravedigging was a very disrespectful act. "To save time, they went to the graveyard caretaker to ask for his record, but they had been stolen. A few neopets, which grew into an small army over time, decided to help them find it. They eventually did, and after the caretaker successfully sorted them out, Sophie's band got to work.

"Some went grave digging, some went to Sophie's Shack for ingredients, and others went 'bone testing'. Eventually, the bone was found. Unfortunately, the gravestone was broken. And so they had to go through the caretaker's records to find the name. However, due to the grave digging, and the fact that Sophie stole the books, not only were the more eerie denizens of the woods disturbed, the caretaker was particularly angry. Eventually, they found the name: Jubart Igig."

Euryflavia pitched in, seeing the grundo run out of breath. "I have to tell you that throughout the entire ordeal, this 'army''s size fluctuated. Some gave up, and others joined in their place. Not really a faithful bunch to be honest, but that's the thing with volunteers who are User-bound Neopets. With so many taking part, the bystander effect often takes place.

"Continuing, Sophie found a potion to summon the Spirit of Slumber, but it involved a potion that would make its drinker the spirit's vessel. Gilly was too small and weak to house the spirit, Sophie needed to work the magic, and the rest of the band were naturally hesitant to volunteer. Bruno decided to do it, in spite of Sophie's inital protest. Soon, the potion was made, imbibed, and the spirit was called upon to reverse his spell on Neovia. The band went to the town and the Spirit did as he was told before leaving. Unfortunately…"

"The elixir's curse!" realized Twilight. "He didn't, or couldn't, remove it!"

"All too right," sighed Tychophon. "Upon seeing her family mutate before her eyes, Sophie screamed in fright and fled, a small fraction of the band following her. The mayor ordered the townspeople to attack the army, some who fought back for their survival, and others who fled for their lives. Amidst the chaos, Bruno caught sight of the stranger who sold the elixir and instructed Gilly to chase after him. Another portion of the band accompanied her, and good thing too since they had to then fight off animated gravestones and attacking trees. 

Eventually, Gilly's band found themselves at the abandoned Meepit Oaks Sanitorium on the outskirts of town, which the stranger, whose name is revealed to be Krawley, had led them to for a reason. Zombies began to corner the band, and they were forced inside. In there, Gilly uncovered the story of Lucy, a nurse who was left with only the janitor Miles, Dr. Valus, and a mysterious Dr. Alexander (which turned out to be an alias of Krawley's) when the other doctors disappeared. Alexander soon followed suit, leaving Lucy with a mysterious flower, before both she and Miles met grisly ends at the hands of the former inmates. Gilly found Lucy's body, and the still thriving flower, before returning to Neovia." The shoyru took a deep breath.

Aquanax subbed for her now-tired User-mate. "Back in town, things were looking bleak and Bruno had to take refuge in a cellar while his band was steadily pushed back. Erstwhile, Sophie had made it back to her shack, shock with what she had done, but quickly recomposed herself and started mixing up potions in hopes of making a cure. The band that followed her assisted in gathering ingredients and mixing them. Eventually, she completed a potion and was on her way back to Neovia when she and her party bumped into Gilly's. Turns out, the flower found was the last ingredient."

"Sophie planned on putting the potion in the town's water supply, but found her path barred by the mutated Mayor Thumburt, who was adamant in stopping her. After all, 'What if it doesn't work?' he said. The amassed army rushed him, and while many of them suffered grievous but survivable injuries, the mayor was eventually defeated. Sophie poured the potion into the well, then she, Bruno, Gilly, and their band left the town, its residents restless. The next day, the trio, and some of the band since the rest went home. The next day, it's revealed that the cure has worked. Sophie urged her brother to drink from the well's water as well, but…"

"It didn't work?" Fluttershy finished.

"Yes. Regardless, he was accepted back into the family. Sophie however had too many bad memories of the town and to this day continues to live in her shack. That ends our tale."

A few minutes of non-speaking ensued before the gypsies stopped their music and effects. Once the music stopped, Pinkie spoke up. "That is an interesting story, but…how do you know all this? You narrated it all as if you were there, but you explicitly said you weren't."

"We have very strong 'memory recall'. Our User told us all about it. From what he can confide, the High Users called the TNT Staff are able to record these events and tell them to our User. It's a very complicated process to explain. And we still have a tour to conduct."





"You know, there was a 'Spooky Food Eating Contest' in Neovia last fall," Euryflavia said as they walked down the path to the town. "We missed the actual eating contest though. Good thing too since the winner of the contest turned out to be a shape-shifting monster. We and a couple of other neopets and their Users arrived just in time to be volunteered by the resident monster hunters Kell and Corbin."

"We heard there were free paint brushes, the magical sort," Tychophon grumbled. "We'll explain another time. At first, while Corbin went to locate the monster, we were asked by Kell to perform an experiment involving rare flowers that make magical music when the wind blows into them. Unfortunately, the melody for inducing sleep comes in thousands of parts, and even one of those is enough to send us to dreamland. With the monster on the loose, it was a good thing there were so many volunteers.

"After decoding the music though, Corbin reported back to say that he had tracked the monster back to its lair, a crypt on the outskirts of Neovia. On the suggestion of the contest's judge, we went to see a local eccentric inventor named Baffington, who told us that the crypts were actually vaults constructed by an exiled family of dark magic users long before Neovia was founded."

"The place was filled with traps and curses, made more powerful by a confluence of leylines in the area," Aquanax supplied. "We all went down there, the four of us and our User lucky enough to accompany Corbin and Kell themselves, but unlucky enough to keep getting the brunt of the curses aimed at us.

"Curses weren't the only things we had to worry about though. There were giant dragons, gelatinous "non-cubes", sarcastic skeletons, ghosts, exploring kids, a rival monster hunting group, tourists, and mostly cultists of all kinds." 

"Hold on a minute!" Applejack interrupted. "Tourists in the crypts?"

"Yes. I told you we neopets are weird. We obtained all sorts of prizes thankfully, though most of it went to Kell and Corbin for them to sell. Monster hunting isn't a particularly profitable job."

"Eventually, thanks to our combined efforts, we managed to corner, subdue, and capture the monster with the magical music we decoded earlier. With the monster under lock and key, the monster hunters took it away while the contest's judge handed out prizes for our efforts.

"Today, Users' neopets dispatch their petpets in those catacombs to find more treasure as they are immune to the curses we had to endure. Thankfully, new Faerie magic makes sure that petpets do return, so no need to worry."


Finally, the group reached the town of Neovia, and it was another sight to behold. It was a complex and mysterious town, and with the fog that seemed to be eternal according to the neopets, combined with the lights that make a mediocre effort in piercing through, it looked ghostly too. In spite of the 'horror story' earlier, the ponies sensed an enchanting sort of feeling in the air.

The party of eleven passed the gate, entered the cobblestone streets, and took in the marvels Neovia had to offer amidst the chattering crowd, plenty of them anthro neopets. "You know, for some reason, I feel like both at home and creeped out by this," Rarity remarked. "Your story certainly did not help."

"Yeah, sorry," apologized Euryflavia as she rubbed the back of her head. "Well, this is what Neovia looks like with the curse gone."

A nearby gelert—a canine neopet with long bendy ears and tail to set it apart from lupes—petted a passing group of rodent petpets called meepits, which were all rushing along to the Sanitorium in the distance. Their wide eyes and the way they stared put all but one on edge, but what alarmed them most was that Fluttershy was the exception, who called them cute.

"Something seems off about these meepits," said Pinkie. "I can feel it in every bone in my body."

"You too, huh?" said Roktabio. "It's a common rumor that they're…" He approached her ear and whispered, "Taking over the world. But that's just silly." He waved off the idea. "As is the idea of a world made of j—"

Tychophon instantly clamped his yap shut. "Shh! Not yet! That's our final destination!" The korbat nodded and spoke no more. "Anyway, our first stop is the Almost Abandoned Attic."

"Almost?" asked the pink earth pony.

"That's because there is stil one resident inside. Though like with most denizens of these woods, she might give you a fright."





The party of eleven walked up the stairs of the unmarked house, eventually entering the attic. It was naturlly dusty, but the chandelier above gave off a bluish glow. There were a couple of other neopets milling about.

"Just why is this old attic a tour stop?" Rainbow asked, obviously bored.

"That's because this place is actually a…" Messerole paused to look for an Equestria-appropriate word. "…yard sale of sorts. And these other neopets are customers."

"And the resident of this attic is the owner of all this junk?"

"Yes." He then caught sight of something. "Why, there she is now."

A short distance away was an anthro Ghost aisha. Well, she's actually a 'real' ghost, as in the undead sort, but the neopets didn't tell the ponies that. She still gave the six equines the chills (in varying levels) regardless. She was currently finishing a transaction with a white lenny, who thanked her and went on his way, item carried in his wings as he left.

The ghost then took notice of the very colorful band, and floated over. "Welcome! I am very happy to have more visitors. No one ever comes to visit me anymore, aside from these neopets." She gestured to the other 'shoppers'. "I wish someone who wasn't a ghost would help me clean up a bit, but I guess that is too much to ask." Aquanax shushed the ponies from speaking up; volunteering to clean up counts as "interfering in local affairs". Besides, the High Users have a hand in keeping this attic full of items. "Let me know if there is anything you want in the attic as I am the only one that still lives here and I can't really use any of it."

"She's gonna want neopoints in exchange for all these," the Yellow grundo explained. "Even ghosts have needs here in Neopia. So please choose your souvenirs wisely before buying. Some items here are more expensive than the ones in the 'User' shops like ours, the one Roktabio tends to."





In the end, the ponies didn't find anything interesting (or affordable) as souvenirs and left the attic.

"All right, ponies. Our next stop is across the street from the clock tower."

Ahead was a building with an iron post near it. The sign that swung there read "Prigpants and Swolthy, Tailors". Thanks to reading the Language Textbook, Rarity was able to read it and was trotting merrily. When Euryflavia asked about this, Twilight explained that as a fashion designer, Rarity's been ecstatic on discovering new fashion trends, and she wants to know all about Neopia's.

As they crossed the scarlet door of the store, they saw an ogrin mother shuffle her son out of the way of the door. Curiously, the son wasn't an ogrin as well, but an…usul?

"Adoption," Tychophon explained away. They were not ready to know the truth of interspecies romance.

A large Purple anthro meerca, Swolthy, was sizing a customer, and a rather dapper looking Yellow lenny, Prigpants, walked over to the group and showed them a wonderfully made blue dress. It was made for a non-anthro uni to wear, and so would make a loose fit for the ponies.

"I say, we've only the finest garments here at Prigpants & Swolthy," he greeted. "Dinner party? Charity function? Funeral? You'll look so dashing, even the dead will take notice." The ponies seemed to be creeped out a bit at this statement.

"Remember, they're near the Haunted Woods," reminded Aquanax before addressing the shopkeeper. "Sorry, we're just window-shopping. Although we do have somebody who's in the same business as you are." She allowed Rarity to approach them.

"You don't say? We've been looking for new trends that still fit our theme."

"Well, I'm also on the search for unique trends and I'm hoping Neopia has a lot to offer."

Roktabio was quick to explain, "In case you haven't heard, there are some foreigners from another world who are taking a tour of Neopia. These non-unis are those foreigners." This elicited a small amount of surprise from the two.





Things went surprisingly smoothly after that, though the Neopets were bored to death to try and remember what happened. Basically, in exchange for what Prigpants and Swolthy had to offer, Rarity told them about the trends she set back in Equestria at the high class city of Canterlot. Rarity then purchased the uni-sized dress and put it in her "magicspace", which is the name for unicorn hammerspace.

Once that was done, the group walked out of the store, and made their way to their next stop; the Neovian Printing Press. The slight smell of ink snaked its way through the slightly ajar door, and they walk in to see—

"Okay. Guess I stand corrected," Aquanax said. "Pteris can be anthros too."

The shopkeeper was a Green anthro pteri in a simple denim blue dress, and with brown hair tied into a bun. A tad puzzling as she was an avian neopet, but Messerole did say that neopets are weird. She was just sliding down a bookshelf on her moving ladder, with a red book in her wing, when she noticed the newcomers and let out a soft gasp. "Could those be…" Her eyes squinted as she looked at each of the ponies inside her store, then widened as well as her beak. "I don't believe it! The Delegates from Equestria!"

The four yellow neopets had no idea how to handle this predicament. "Oh, dung."

"I've heard rumors from reporters in the Faerieland Gazette about you! They've been trying to get an interview, but the Royal Guards have been keeping them away! And now, Neovia is going to get first dibs!"

"Umm, miss?" Euryflavia spoke up. "I'm sorry to say this, but we're currently conducting a tour of Neopia for them. Haunted Woods is just our second stop. I don't think getting interviews would—"

"I see. Where are you headed next?"

"The Lost Desert. Why?"

"May I spend a few minutes with you? I'd like to know a bit about this tour for the local paper."





In exchange for sparing some time to talk about the tour-in-progress, the eleven were given Lost Desert Travel Brochures, free of charge. The newspapers were the disappear-after-reading type of books, which irked Twilight somewhat.

The group soon reached their next stop; Chesterdrawers’ Antiques. As they walked underneath the store's blue awning and entered the glowing room, they caught sight of a strange bipedal being. It was able to be descried but for some reason they couldn't. It was just finished haggling with a red anthro Techo (presumably the shopkeeper) and was lifting a bookcase with the help of a Purple chia.

As the duo passed them, Fluttershy asked, "What was that?"

"That, Fluttershy, is a User," Tychophon answered. "Their avatars, anyway."

Before anypony could ask more about them, the shopkeeper glided over to them. "Greetings! I'm Alabaster Chesterdrawers, and I can guarantee you won't find any finer antiques than right here at Chesterdrawers' Antiques!"

"Sorry, but we're just giving a tour to some friends of ours," apologized the shoyru, preventing any of the ponies from answering. "Although we'll probably browse for a while."

"I see. That's a shame."


As promised, the group stuck around for a bit. Twilight was checking out a cauldron, Rarity was looking at a mirror while brushing her mane, Euryflavia was doing likewise (though she did not have a mane to brush), Rainbow was making funny faces at another, Applejack, Aquanax, and Fluttershy were checking out the portraits, and the only males in the tour party were checking out the other furniture. 

As for Pinkie Pie, she was tinkering curiously at a bobble-head toy some neopet had left behind when something caught her nose. It was the scent of sweets and bread, and it was making her drool. She began walking out of the store, and Euryflavia noticed her from the mirror. She quickly hurried over before she could leave.

"Hey, Pinkie. Where're you going?" the usul asked.

"Oh, that heavenly smell it's calling for me. It's better than the ones in Sugarcube Corner, and that's saying something."

"Sugarcube Corner?"

"The bakery I work in."

Euryflavia turned to the group. "Tych, I suggest The Crumpetmonger be the next stop if it isn't already. I think Pinkie Pie's getting enamored from the food coming from there."

"All right."

"She can smell it all the way from here?" Aquanax asked as she turned away from a Framed Alice Photo. "I'm pretty sure I would've picked it up earlier."

"Just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie," Twilight waved off.

The acara raised an eyebrow. "What kind of saying is that?"

"She does plenty of strange things all the time. I learned the hard way not to question it."

"Okay," Tychophon agreed. "I guess we spent a little too much time here anyway." He turned to their shopkeeper korbat. "Roktabio, could you take them to the Crumpetmonger for us? I just remembered we have something to fetch here."

"All right."

"Where are you going?" asked Twilight has he, Euryflavia, Messerole, and Aquanax ran out of the store.

"We visited Neovia two days ago and…dispatched our petpets into the catacombs we mentioned earlier. We were about to go fetch them until Princess Luna's visit back in Faerieland. And then we were so caught up with meeting you guys we forgot. We'll be back very soon!"





A red awning with a cupcake over it marked the bakery Pinkie was being lured to. The wonderful aroma of sweets and bread wafts the open window of the shop, stronger now since they were closer, and it enamored all of the ponies. The store owner—an plump Yellow meerca with a white pompadour on her head, a mole under her right eye, a rolling pin curled in her tail—was busy kneading large amount of dough while in her hands while customers inside and outside were chowing down.

"Fresh pastries!" she was yelling. "Get yer pastries while they're hot! No, I meant it… buy summat 'fore I eat it meself!"

"This is the Crumpetmonger," the Red korbat said as they walked through the door inside. "The best and only bakery in Neovia. The food's apparently so good the old meerca can hardly resist her own creations."

"Yeah, I know that feeling," said Pinkie. "One time, the Cakes got mad at me when I ate the cake they, me, and our competitors made together. And I did it in front of the Princess too."

"Cakes? You ponies sure have strange names."

"Speak for yourself," retorted Rainbow. "Your names are such tongue twisters."

"You'll have to blame the Users for that. User-bound neopets have a very strong limit on names to avoid same-name scenarios. nightelf_37 was adamant not to have numbers and underscores, and since all the common names have been taken, he had to resort to such a thing. He's been into these names ever since. At least that's what Tychophon tells me."

"Ahem!" The Crumpetmonger was now next to them, looking a little cross and her paws in an akimbo position. "Are you girls gonna order?"

"Sorry, ma'am. We're new here at Neovia, and my friends here are strict vegetarians, so what do you recommend? "

"I recommend the Linzer Tortes. And maybe the Negg Pies. Oh, don't worry. Neggs are just egg-shaped fruits and are not real eggs."





Despite having eaten already during the retelling of the "Tale of Woe", the group took another snack, although Roktabio warned them not to eat too much; all their next stops had other foods for them to try. They were on their way to the gates of Neovia when suddenly…

"Hey there! Haven't seen the likes of you around these parts!"

The group turned to see a Green anthro gnorbu with a suit, cane, and hat standing next to what seems to be…

"An apple bobbin' tub?" said Applejack.

Indeed there was, and there were a couple of neopets and users who were playing the game, and a few of them acquiring not just apples (or all sorts), but other apple-related products.

"Got a hankering for apples?" he said as one player fished out…an orange with an apple sticker on it. "Have I got the barrel for you! That's right, step up and get bobbing with Apple Bobbing Bart — yours truly. I reckon you might even rustle up something marvellous… If you don't mind getting a little wet, you can bob for one of its magnificent prizes! In addition to a huge array of apples, my tank also offers a wide variety of other spooky delights. Give it a shot!"

The ponies turned to one another, then to Roktabio, who shrugged his shoulders. "Can't hurt to try it. Accidents can happen however. Nothing out of the ordinary from conventional apple bobbing."

"I heard from the pteri gal in the Printing Press that you're not from around here, if you know what I mean. Normally, I only allow one User a day whether or not they have one to four neopets, but given your tour, I'll let you all have one chance to grab a prize!"





Tychophon, Aquanax, Messerole, and Euryflavia were on their way back to Neovia proper from the catacomb entrance they narrated about earlier and have been to a long time ago, their petpets accompanying them and carrying the treasures they found.

The shoyru's petpet, whom he called Cathaidana, was a carmariller, a butterfly-like petpet with a bipedal body, large downturned ears, and a long (for her size) tail. She had found a cello, which her master was carrying in her stead.

Ercole, Euryflavia's mazzew, was a mouse-like purple petpet that stood on twos and whose tail had two small fins. He was carrying a banjo. The body anyway, with his owner holding up the neck.

Messerole's petpet, Mettaur, was a Navibot, a robot petpet with a red helmet/armor plating, an obscured black body underneath it, a yellow square mouth, small two-toed feet, and smaller claws coming from the top of them. Balanced on its head as it walked was a Healing Potion XIX, which is more potent than the XII Euryflavia ordered back at Faerieland.

The fourth one, who belonged to Aquanax, was an N-4 Info Retrieval Bot named Aleksander. It was a small blue machine with a telescope-like body, a yellow eye in place of the lens, and two spindly legs with proportionately sizable feet. It was lifting a black doctor's bag on its head, the handle of which was being lifted by its acara owner by the mouth. The doctor's bag contained three random medicines, but it hasn't been opened. 

Normally, only one petpet per User is allowed at a time into the catacombs, but with him gone for the time being, the Neopets decided on 'dispatching' all of their petpets for extra safety to each other. All four petpets has been covered in cobwebs and slime from their adventure, and despite their owners' best efforts in cleaning them, are still a bit dirty. 

As the little group returned to Neovia to fetch the delegates, they caught sight of them at Bart's Apple Bobbing stall. Each of the ponies had acquired prizes. Applejack got an Apple Apple (which was an apple decorated with an apple pattern), Pinkie Pie got an Unconverted Apple, Rainbow Dash got a Hot Apple Cider (which she was both enthusiastic and confused to get), Twilight Sparkle got a Digital Apple (which completely weirded her out), and Fluttershy obtained a Red Korbat Plushie, which was in Roktabio's likeness.

The cider and plushie came in special packages that rendered them in a safe stasis form until pulled out of the tub. When Bart was asked how that was possible, he said he's sooner eat his hat than tell. It was Rarity's turn, and while hesitant, she eventually relented and submerged her head. Upon surfacing, everybody, including Bart, gaped at what she got; a replica of his hat.

"How'd that get — I mean, bully for you!" the gnorbu congratulated. "I'll just put that in your inventory for you. Wouldn't want it to get stolen, after all. Downright saddening, that would be. I might even shed a tear." 

"Allow me." Rarity made the hat disappear, sending it into her magicspace.

Bart did not react from this. "So how about that? I reckon your apple bobbing skills have no match." 


By this point, the tour guides have reached the delegates and Roktabio. "I see you went Apple Bobbing," commented Tychophon. "Our User goes here everyday, you know."

Before he could say any more, Fluttershy and Rarity gasped upon seeing their tour guides and their petpets, the latter on seeing how filthy they were. This caught the attention of the others, except for Rainbow who was just as finishing her cider (she would later comment that the Apple Family cider is way better). Pinkie was already gushing on how cute Cathaidana and Ercole were, Twilight's curiosity was sparked on seeing Aleksander and Mettaur, and Applejack was confused at the sight of the two robotic petpets.

"Oh my stars!" the white unicorn gasped. "Just where have these been?! They really need a bath."

"A simple cleaning for mine and Aqua's," Messerole said. "They're not really waterproof." he picked up his petpet and flipped it over, revealing its black body. "Especially here." He indicated the bottom before setting Mettaur right-side up again. "Hey, I just realized something! We're done with the Haunted Woods!"

"All right! That means our next stop is the Lost Desert!" announced the shoyru, then made a remark to the ponies. "And don't ask about the name."

"I plan on heading back to the shop once we reach Neopia Central," said Roktabio.

"Neopia Central's the other way, you know," pointed out Euryflavia.

"Oh, right. See ya!" With that, the korbat took to the sky and flew away. 


"Will he be all right?" Pinkie asked.

"No need to worry," assured Messerole. "He goes to the Battledome occasionally, so he's a sufficient fighter, just like us."





Later…

The group took another long walk, across the more dangerous parts of the Haunted Woods, which would eventually lead to the Lost Desert. Not many neopets traverse in the fashion they are doing right now—those with wings opting to fly over—and would rather travel with their Users, who are capable of teleportation and being iin multiple places at once using methods involving "browsers".

Cathaidana flew beside her master, Aleksander was offered Twilight's back to sit on, Mettaur was cradled in Messerole's arms, and Ercole walked beside his owner.

It occurred to Tychophon that he could just use the User Teleporter their User left behind, but he wasn't completely sure if their minds could comprehend its range. Twilight told them about her teleportation spell, but the range of their User's is much greater than even Princess Celestia's.

Rarity was insisting on cleaning up their petpets, but Euryflavia asked she put that on hold until they reach their next destination. "They're bound to get dirty again real fast in here," she added.


Amidst the gnarled branches, quicksand pits, creepy eyes, meepits, spyders, and pocket-hunting petpets called ghostkerchiefs, the group trudged on. They did their best not to show it, but the neopets could see that some of them were reaching their breaking point. I hope we reach the edge soon.

Finally, upon seeing light, Fluttershy was the first to zoom ahead to the neopets' surprise. "I'm guessing she has her limits," sighed the acara as she and the rest of the group followed.

"Maybe it's for the best," said Euryflavia before they finally caught up and left the forest's bounds. After recovering from the blinding light of the sun, the ponies gaped with Fluttershy at what they saw. 

The party of ten (not counting the petpets) stood at a vast plain, its grass quickly ending as it left the woods and became sand dunes. "I hope your fur coats can protect from sunburn, girls. We're about to enter the Lost Desert," Tychophon said.