I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies

by LtMajorDude


Gotta Find 'Em All!

Mark's House

Mark lied down on his bed.

He let out a smile. Cotton Hill is with him, he forgave himself for killing his friends, he reconciled with his uncle, and he has friends who Mark cared for.

Mark sighed. "I got everything except one thing. But I don't know..."

He got up of his bed. "Princess Luna's royalty! I'm just a small-time guy..." He said before letting out a sigh.

"Well I gotta do something! I can't just stand around doing nothing...maybe I can..."

There was then a rapid knocking on the door.

Mark raised an eyebrow. "Who could that be? It's like around 10 o' clock!"

He opened the door and saw Cotton.

"Oh hey Cott..."

"MARK! Thank God! Ya gotta help me!" Cotton shouted.

Mark was confused. "With wha..."

"I was babysitting some kids and now they're gone in that Evertree Forest!"

Mark widen his eyes. "Oh crap!"

"Ya gotta help me Mark!" Cotton said.

Mark nodded. "I'll do it!"


Cotton and Mark stood before the Everfree Forest.

"You sure the kids went here?" Mark asked Cotton.

"Damn right." Cotton said. He hoped that Mark would not meet the his friends...

Suddenly, they heard a demented laughter from the forest.

Cotton widen his eyes. "The hell was that?-!"

Mark gulped. "Beats me."

Cotton sighed. "Come on Mark. We can't let someone laughing stop us."

They could hear the laughter again.

Mark smiled nervously. "Yeah...we can't..."

Laughter again.

Cotton and Mark gulped and into the forest.


Cotton was walking around, looking for babies.

He heard that laughter again.

Cotton cringed. "Why does it sound familiar?" He said to himself.

As he continued looking around, Mark was looking at the bushes to see if he could find the babies there.

He then saw a shadow and thought it may be one of the kids.

He walked towards the shadow and saw a brown unicorn with a green mane and tail. He had a bow and arrow Cutie Mark. He was holding a basket of vegetables and fruit.

He smiled. "Hey there. Looking for something?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah. Seen any kids run around here."

The unicorn put a hoof on his cheek. "Well, I haven't seen any babies, but I have heard some baby sounds over there." He said as he pointed at a direction. "Love to check it out, but that laughter creeps me out."

They heard the demented laughter again.

"See?" The unicorn said.

Mark gulped. "Oh well. Thanks for the help, um..."

The unicorn thought for a moment. "Should I tell him...? No. I shouldn't."

"I'm...Hunter."

"Nice name. I'm...Midway." Mark replied.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go!" Hunter said as he walked away.

"Thanks again!" Mark said as he waved.

Hunter sighed as he walked away.

"At least it wasn't him..." He muttered.


Cotton was getting angry.

"Alright. This is starting to piss me off." He told Mark.

They both heard the laughter.

"AND THE LAUGHING IS STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!" Cotton yelled.

Mark widen his eyes. "Cotton?"

"WHAT?-!"

"I found the kids."

Cotton blinked and looked where Mark was pointing at.

They saw the ten babies together. They were scared and were hugging each other.

Cotton smiled and walked towards them.

"Thank God I found ya."

The babies started to shake in fear.

Cotton frowned. "Is this cuz I yelled at ya?"

They all heard the demented laughter, only it sounded closer.

"Maybe it's because of that!" Mark shouted as he pointed at the source of the laughter, which was behind the trees and shadows.

Mark held his breath as a Pegasus emerged from the shadows.

Cotton dropped his jaw.

"GRIBBLE!-?"

Dale saluted. "Colonel, sir! Oh hey Mark."

"Hey Dale." Mark said with a confused look.

"Ya were the one making that crazy laughter?-!" Cotton shouted.

Dale nodded. "Yeah. Sorry about that. I ran out of cigarettes so I went to Twi's library to see if tobacco exists. I read that it does exist and it's in the Everfree Forest."

"You were laughing insanely because you found tobacco." Mark deadpanned. "Cotton, you were right. This guys is crazy for cigarettes."

"So what are you and Mark doing here? And why are these kids scared?" Dale asked.

Cotton sighed. "Long story. Let's just say that I'd rather lose mah shins than babysit just ONE freaking baby pony."

Cotton looked at the baby ponies. "Alright. Let's get ya home."


Cotton, Mark, and Dale all lead the kids to the pink house.

"Hey thanks again Mark for everything." Cotton told Mark.

Mark smiled. "Don't thank me. Hunter was the one who helped me."

Cotton raised an eyebrow. "Hunter?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah. He's some Pegasus I met in the forest. He showed me where the babies were."

"Oh. OK." Cotton said. "At least it wasn't Mark's friends." He thought.

Eventually they got to the pink house.

Cotton sighed as he opened the door. "Let's just hope the parents aren't..."

"THERE HE IS!"

"...never mind." Cotton muttered as all the mothers gave death glares at Cotton.

Mark smiled. "Don't worry ladies. Cotton was, uh, just taking the kids for, um, stargazing."

The mothered were still glaring at Cotton. "I don't think they're buying that story Mark." Cotton muttered.

Dale brought the kids to the house.

The babies ran to their mothers, hugging them.

"What is wrong with you?" One of the mothers said.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"The kids could have been in danger!"

"SHUT UP!" Cotton screamed, surprising everypony in the room.

"YA THINK I LIKE DIS? HA HA! WELL I DON'T! YA DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH WITH! THEY MAKE MESSES! THEY RUINED MAH STORY HOW I LOST MAH SHINS! AND YET YA BLAME ME! YA OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T RAISE 'EM RIGHT! HECK, YA DID NOT PAY ME BEFORE YA LEFT! WHO DOES THAT?-! REALLY?-!-?-! YA KNOW WHAT? KEEP THE GODDAMN MONEY! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP!-!-!-! See ya Mark. At ease Gribble. SCRAM YA IRRESPONSIBLE MOTHERS AND MISBEHAVING KIDS!"

Cotton stormed out of the house.

Everypony just blinked.

"That was more unexpected than Twilight's scepter." Dale said.


Hunter went into a tree house in the forest.

He knocked on the bark six times.

The door opened. Hunter went inside.

"Sorry I'm late." He said to two ponies.

"Don't worry about it man."

Hunter smiled. "Here's the food."

"Thanks."

Hunter sighed. "I met someone."

"Was it...?"

"No it wasn't...thank God." Hunter said.

"Please tell me it was..."

"Sorry...nope." Hunter said.

"Oh well..."

Hunter let out a happy grin.

"Don't worry about it. Now come on. I'm starving."

"Yeah. I'm so hungry, I could eat a pony!"

The three started to laugh before they began to eat.