//------------------------------// // Welcome to... wait, something's not friggin right, here. // Story: The Equestrian Interviews // by Reaps //------------------------------// ~My little pony, I used to wonder what friendship could be…~ The end song continued as the ponies let out a relieved breath in unison, the human contraption having finally gone and left them alone until the next episode. Twilight clacked her hoof on the ground and called out, “Discord! It left! Think you could change things back now?” “Aw, but I was just starting to enjoy seeing you ponies like this. Can’t I be the main biped for just a little while longer?” The draconequis to respond poked his head through a window, a head which promptly fell to the ground and rolled towards the other severed limbs of his form. Discord began to put himself back together, messing up a few times before finally getting everything where it should be and stretching. Upon finishing his stretches, the manifestation of chaos looked around to see a number of expressions aimed at him, not one showing the faintest signs of amusement. Discord sighed. “Oh, very well. Back to normal you lot go.” He snapped his fingers and the ponies, as well as spike, returned to their normal, anthropomorphic selves, each taking a few moments to stretch out. “Thanks. Also, Twi, why the hay are we still doing this every week, anyways? Their writing is just going all over the freakin’ place. We are getting out of character just by staying in their stated characters.” The alicorn cast a tired glance at Rainbow Dash. “I told you, we’re doing this because it’s supposedly teaching their young some form of life lessons. Maybe they’re more advanced than we give them credit for and we’re just missing the bigger picture.” “Yeah, or maybe they just have no idea what in tarnation they’re doin’.” Rainbow Dash made a show of looking around the town square. “Huh? Who was that? It sounds like AJ, but she has a drawl.” The comment quickly earned the pegasus a firm jab to the chest, to which she stumbled back, holding where she was hit. “Fuck! Can’t ya take a damn joke? Sheesh!” Applejack smirked and chuckled. “Oh, I can take a joke, but it looks like you can’t take a hit.” “You got a cheap shot on me, bitch. You wanna throw down for real? We’ll see who can’t take a hit.” The confrontation was cut short as a blue light flashed a few meters away. All the ponies nearby shielded their eyes until they heard two hooves landing in the direction of the flash. On instinct, a few ponies took a fighting stance, readying for what seemed an imminent ambush. Upon finally seeing the figure more clearly, the stances eased and any tension seemed to drain as pure curiosity and confusion filled the atmosphere. Chase shook his head to clear the spots in his vision. After a few moments, he began to see somewhat clearly and immediately checked himself to make sure he was intact. “No gashes, nothing broken, nothing missing, hands, fingers, torso, arms, legs, hooves…” Chase stopped and looked down again, checking to make sure he wasn’t just seeing things. Sure enough, his eyes weren’t deceiving him. He had hooves, and he finally took note of his coat of green hair covering him as far as he could see. Another look told him he was, indeed, still dressed as well, and in the same clothes as before. Chase’s eyes lit up and he leapt into the air in excitement, fully expecting to catch his weight on a pair of pegasus wings, only to fall flat on his haunches with a thud. “Ah, fuck. What the Hell?” He looked and felt behind him only to find nothing but his shirt upon his back. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I made it to the right universe, right? I’m supposed to be a pegasus. I’ve got all the physical match-ups. I’m light, nimble, I even took that freaking weirdo's class to learn how we’d use wings if we had them in case this worked! What gives?” “Ahem.” Chase blinked and turned his attention towards the sound to meet three very concerned expressions on very familiar, yet foreign faces. The one to catch his attention once more spoke up. “Um, are you okay? Did you bump your head?” “Well, I’m not sure if that’s the case, else how could he have cast such a brilliant-looking spell, dear? Clearly something went wrong as it’s affected his mental state.” Chase finally managed to shake off the initial shock and stood up, brushing himself off. “Ya know, you don’t have to talk about me like I’m some mental case. Yeah, I should be medicated, I should be detained, blah blah blah. I heard it all before on Earth, I’d like to not hear it here as well.” Chase stopped, blinked, and promptly went to facepalm, only to have his hand awkwardly meet a protrusion on his forehead. He touched lightly around the base of it and sighed. Without looking up, he asked, “It’s a horn, and I’m a unicorn, right?” “Yup.” “And you all believe that was a spell and I’m insane, don’t you?” There was a moment of silence, to which Chase looked up to see a few knowing smiles. These were soon joined by a nearly synchronized small chorus of “Nope.” “Really?” Rainbow Dash chuckled a bit, wincing slightly at her still sore chest. “Look, we’ve heard of Earth before. You seem pretty genuinely confused about what you are, so we buy that you somehow came from there.” Chase crossed his arms, giving the best disbelieving look he could. “Right, just like in all of those stories no one likes, where every pony here accepts them with open arms and believes everything without question.” Twilight giggled rather loudly. “Oh my gosh, you’re one of those bronies? That’s adorable!” Chase blushed a bit at first, but soon found himself chuckling as well. “Yeah, I guess. I’m not like, obsessive like some of them, though. I watch the show and everything, I’ve written my share of fiction about it as well. What I would really like to do, though, is write a real report on all of you.” At the sound of a report, Twilight’s ears pitched forward by second nature. “Come again? A report? What kind of report?” Chase put a hand to his chin in thought. “Hmm… Actually, I would love to get a chance to interview all of you. I mean, I could get to know all of the real ponies behind the screen. I could take notes until the resonance stone gives out. If it lasts long enough, I should be able to even get to the ponies the show leaves in the background… Uh, that is, if you guys wouldn’t mind. Heheh.” The ponies that were still around looked between one another and smiled softly as they gave a shrug. “I don’t see what it could hurt. I mean, you’re bound to at least do better than the humans writing the show.” Chase smiled. He thought for a moment before his smile turned sheepish. “Uh, no chance you guys have a quill, ink, and some parchment? I kinda didn’t bring any through the portal.” Twilight rolled her eyes. Spike shook his head and pulled out exactly what was requested. “Here ya go, uh….?” Chase reached out to take them and chuckled slightly. “Oh, right. The name’s Chase, Chase Cosmicwing. Also, unless any of you have different names than in the show, I should know most of your names, so, that’ll speed some things along.” “Well, I hope you can keep up.” Spike leaned in close and whispered into Chase’s ear, “Some ponies can really talk your head off if you let ‘em.” Chase snickered and shook his head. “Well, I might need more than just one inkwell and parchment, then.” Pinkie Pie giggled. “No you won’t silly. We’ve used that same inkwell, quill, and parchment for every writing scene in the show. It’s enchanted. The parchment makes a new page every time the old one gets full, the quill never splits or messes up, and the inkwell never runs out.” Chase was about to speak up, but soon shook his head. “It’s Pinkie Pie, don’t question it.” “Ooh! Hey! Who’re you gonna interview first, Chasey?” Chase blushed. “Uh, I, I guess I’m not sure, yet. Let me think it over a bit.” “Okie dokie lokie!”