//------------------------------// // And the Pony You Rode Out On... // Story: Blockhead in Ponyville // by Derpy Mooves //------------------------------// Author's Note: Yes, the chapter title is a reference to Halo: Combat Evolved's last level, The Maw. Anyway, enjoy! And the Pony You Rode Out On... Twilight Sparkle took a moment to appreciate the bird's-eye view of Sugarcube Corner. The bakery seemed to grow bigger and bigger with every second as the unicorn approached. She was so high above the ground, all she could hear was a gentle woosh as the air moved past her head and whipped her mane around. Suddenly, the sounds of the town below crept back into earshot. Twilight blinked. They were losing altitude. And they were losing it fast. Twilight leaned down to tell her butter-colored mode of transport. "Our flight-path is falling apart," said Twilight. Not breaking her gaze away from her destination, the pegasus carrying Twilight frowned and squinted her eyes with extra determination. "It'll hold," Fluttershy said flatly as the ground sped closer. Twilight took a fearful gulp and wrapped her hooves tighter around her flying friend. She didn't share the mare's confidence. "We're not gonna make it," Twilight said nervously. "We'll make it." At this point, the bakery was but a few dozen feet away, and the distance was shortening quickly. "Pull up," Twilight pleaded. "Pull up!" Fluttershy continued to ignore her friend's shouts, and a moment later, they arrived. Twilight smacked her forehead against the lower part of the first-floor window frame. She let out a pained oof and dismounted the pegasus.Turning to look Fluttershy dead in the eye, Twilight frowned. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" The serious look left Fluttershy's face and an apologetic one took its place. "I really didn't mean to, Twilight," the mare said. "After all my practice with Rainbow Dash, I really wanted to prove myself." Twilight rubbed her throbbing forehead with one hoof. Poor Fluttershy had been trying so hard to become a better flyer, and Twilight had to admit that they did get to the bakery much more quickly than they would have on hoof. She sighed. "It's okay. At least we're here. Let's just go inside and see if Derpy was right about seeing Blockhead walk here." Twilight reached a hoof up to open the door, but the door wouldn't budge even a bit. The girls exchanged a look of shared confusion before Twilight tried again with both hooves. She grunted in frustration and pounded the door a few times until she stopped to catch her breath. She looked to her side to see Fluttershy tugging at one of the windows. "I'm sorry, Twilight, but the windows are locked too. What do we do now?" "I'm not sure," Twilight admitted. "I guess we-" Both Twilight and Fluttershy froze as a loud crash accompanied a shower of splintered wood and broken dry-wall. The girls slowly turned to look at the huge hole in the bakery's wall, blinking as the dust settled. After a moment, the force responsible for the thousands of bits of damage to the bakery was revealed. Standing in the middle of the debris stood Pinkie Pie, all four hooves on the ground, with a pair of tongs in her mouth. On her back rode a dimwitted human. Both wore what could only be described as war faces. "Why couldn't you use the door," cried a wide-eyed Mrs. Cake. "We needed to use the element of surprise," Blockhead grunted. "And who doesn't love a surprise," Pinkie broke her war face to cheer. "Oh, hi Twilight and Fluttershy. Were you surprised? Were you? Huh? Huh?" Twilight's eye twitched as she face-hoofed. Fluttershy cowered behind her, startled by the unscheduled demolition. Just as Twilight looked up again, a splinter-covered Spike emerged from the bakery, clutching a twitching Owlowicious. His eyes were wide and glazed with justified shell-shock. He shuffled up to his housemate and held up the owl to her. "W-why is he twitching like that?" Spike grimaced. "I think he-I think he put him in his mouth. He said he had to 'taste the hoot-hoot'." Twilight's eyes dilated as she took the twitching bird into her hooves and looked at it. His ruffled feathers were bent and ruined (The ones that were still on his body at this point, anyway). And he was dripping with drool. When Twilight sensed the liquid on her hooves she nearly dropped the owl with disgust, but she swallowed and held him close. Fluttershy sniffled. "You really should a' left him in the woods," a gruff voice lamented. "Seriously, though, do you have a gun or something? The only good thing so far is that he no longer thinks you ponies want to kill him." Twilight wasn't quite sure that that last part was true anymore, though... "The ponies are my assistants in the quest to reclaim the weavil," Blockhead explained. He removed the tongs from Pinkie's mouth and waved them in the air for emphasis. Twilight handed her avian assistant to Fluttershy, who immediately cooed and nuzzled the unfortunate bird, taking off for her home in order to bathe him and help him mend the recent mental scars. As the pegasus left, Twilight turned to Pinkie Pie and glared. "Why did you help him?!" Twilight had secretly dreaded the possibility of the two nutballs meeting, but even she hadn't expected Pinkie to partially dismantle her own home and workplace. "Oh, Twilight," Pinkie cheerfully said. "Blockhead and his saddy-pants voice-y friend just arrived in Equestria, but their other friend, Mr. Weavil, is all the way in Canterlot. I just gotta get him with us so we can have a 'welcome to Equestria' party for them!" Pinkie beamed at the thought of throwing one of her patented welcome parties. Twilight opened her mouth to chastise her hyper friend, but the pink pony and her passenger suddenly galloped off. "Hi-ho, Silver! Awaaaaaaaaaay!!!" Twilight gave Spike an exasperated, confused look. Spike sighed. "Princess Celestia sent you a letter a few minutes ago. It said she wanted to borrow your fabric cleaner* to clean up after Luna's new pet 'weavil'. Blockhead got really excited about it..." As Spike turned around to walk back inside to help the Cakes clean up the new hole in their bakery, Twilight noticed black ink on his back. She squinted her eyes to read it. Dear Blockhead, Of course I'll sign your velociraptor. Smile, smile, smile-Pinkie Pie *Celestia note: Dear Twilight, please disregard my request for fabric cleaner. Instead, please bring a few gallons of gasoline and a box of matches; the "weavil" has been chewing on the sofa... "THE WEAVIL WILL CHEW ON WHAT THE WEAVIL PLEASES!" "Lauren Christ, Luna, could you at least give it a bath!?"