//------------------------------//
// You Heard Me 
// Story: Not My Little Diamond 
// by MagerBlutooth 
//------------------------------//

Chpt. 18 - You Heard Me

Tuesday, April 1

After returning to the podium, Princess Celestia thanked everypony for coming and officially ended the meeting. Then she waited about three minutes for the laughter to stop. With the scent of unease no longer in the air, the crowd finally began to disperse, many ponies already turning their attention elsewhere. Those that stayed wanted an encore. 

Mork was quickly swarmed with invitations and accolade. The Cakes invited him to stop by their shop to see the pictures of him that their children wouldn't stop drawing. Cheerilee asked if he would be willing to be a model for her class's ongoing anatomy lessons. The mayor even pushed her way to the front to get a publicity picture with him. Mork smiled and nodded to everything as he always did until Rarity stepped in and told them Mork had to go. 

Before Mork's admirers could ask why, Celestia stepped in and said Mork had been called back home on urgent business and needed to go. She suggested they go make the most of their holiday and that somepony clean the frosting off Mr. Cake. None of them daring to argue with the princess, the rest of the crowd said their goodbyes and promptly took off. The mayor had already started washing Mr. Cake's hair.

Celestia lifted the still immobile Shooting Star on her back, proposing to Twilight that they head to the library. Then she turned an eye toward Mork and asked if he was ready to go. It was the first question that broke Mork's smile, but it didn't stop him from nodding. 

Escorted by Celestia's guards, the four of them made their way to Twilight's homestead. Celestia walked in front while Twilight and Rarity walked alongside Mork, watching him more closely than the path in front of them. Mork looked to be avoiding eye contact with them as much as possible, smiling up at the unusually-shaped clouds above them. As the library came within view, Rarity finally thought of something to say.

"So, Mork," she said, pausing in mild surprise as Opal leapt to the top of her head. "You're going to laugh when I tell you this, but that magic cloud of yours almost made it seem like you believe me to be some sort of witch." She tried to laugh. "Is that not the most ridiculous thing?"

"Mork?" he asked, glancing at her uncertainly.    

"I guess I still have some practice to do with that spell," Twilight said. "I don't think you saw it, Mork, but I put a thought cloud over you to show everypony what you were thinking. At least, that's what I tried to do." She giggled to herself. "It's too bad you didn't see it, Mork. You probably would have laughed just as much as the rest of us."

"I don't think Mork's in much of a laughing mood, Twilight," Celestia said, looking back at them. "Mork, I've noticed you're walking on two legs this morning. Twilight told me you often do that when you're afraid or upset. Is something troubling you?"

Mork stopped walking and looked down at his shoe mid-step. He prepared to mork something, but a low rumbling noise spoke up instead, and he instinctively punched himself in the stomach, ending the noise.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "I don't suppose anypony made you breakfast, did they?" She turned her attention to Mork's caregiver.

With an innocent smile, Rarity stopped walking as well. "Princess Celestia, I know how this looks, but you have to believe me. Starving Mork was not on my to do-list this morning. Why the very idea—"

"It's alright, Rarity," Celestia said, her voice calm, and her eyes still on Mork. "Why don't you go prepare him something? I'm sure he would appreciate it." Mork put a glove over his eyes.   

"Of course, Princess," Rarity said with a bow. "Come along, Opal. We have work to—Opal?" Twitching her ears to find an empty space on her head, Rarity turned in frustration to find Opal clinging to Mork's shoulder again.

"Opalessence, please, I know Mork may look like a scratching post, but I assure you he's not one. Now get down from there. You're being...rude?" She paused her lecture at the sight of Mork scratching under Opal's chin. As if her trained response, Opal zestfully pulled the rest of her body up to the top of his shoulder, perching on it like a parrot as she let him continue.  

"Maybe Opal should stay here," Twilight said, looking up at the display. "I think Mork wants her company."

"I'm not so sure that's..." Rarity paused again as an unrolling coil of orange fabric brushed by her leg. Her mouth fell open as she whirled around to face the direction it came from. "Mork," she said, looking up to him. "I'll be right back. If Opal upsets you in any way, please don't eat her." She galloped away down the narrow, orange path, desperately calling out to Opal to behave herself as she left.

"Why don't we go inside and set things up while we wait for Rarity to return?" Celestia asked as she pointed to the library behind them.

With a shrug of apathy from Mork, they approached the tree's front entrance, all of them effortlessly passing through the various barriers that Twilight had set up around it. It was a reassuring sight to Twilight, but her mental peace was short-lived as she came to remember what was waiting for them behind the library door.

"Wait a second!" she shouted, leaping in front of them. "Mork can't go in yet."

"Why not, Twilight?" Celestia asked. "Hasn't he come in here once before?"

"Yes, but..." Twilight walked up to Mork. "I just need him to do me a favor first." She cleared her throat and stared up at him. "Mork, if I let you in here, can you promise me that you won't touch or take anything that isn't yours? No matter much you might want to?"

Mork's eyes opened wider, and his smile increased to match. He placed his arms behind his back and slowly nodded twice, each nod accompanied by a mork that gave Twilight a quick shower as he emphasized his k's. 

"Uh, good." Twilight opened the door and stepped aside to let him enter. He kept his arms pressed against his back, his gloves tightly clenched as he marched into the library like a trained soldier, his smile so wide it was making him sweat. Twilight looked to her princess for support as the two of them followed him inside. The princess remained as expressionless as before.

Celestia instructed her guards to wait outside before closing the door and setting Shooting upright on the floor like a statue. "Now then, shall we begin?"

Mork's attention went right to the tall pile of hats on the table in the center of the room. However, his glance lasted only a few seconds before Opal jumped to the top of his head, making him roll his eyes and turn to a bookcase on his left. 

Twilight sighed in relief. "I'm sorry, Princess," she said, turning away from him. "What did you say?"

Celestia grabbed Shooting's hat in her magic, held it upside down and shook it. A glob of transparent ooze fell out and splashed onto the ground before rising up into the air, immediately catching Mork's eye. 

"Smooze, spit it out," Celestia said. The goop responded by ejecting a golden ball of light that took up as much room as the princess herself. She smiled. "If nothing else, it makes for a convenient carrying case." She looked back to Shooting. "That just leaves one thing."

She quietly stepped over to him and leaned forward so that her mouth was mere inches away from his ear. Then, as her smile lost much of its friendliness, she closed her eyes said in her normal speaking voice, "I can't believe Mork's gone already."

"What?" Shooting's hair sprung out in all directions as he leapt into the air and shot a wild blast of magic straight into a nearby bookcase, blowing open a hole in the side of the tree and sending the entire shelf of books flying.

"Hey!" Twilight said as she ducked under an incoming almanac.

Shooting yelped as he looked at the new window he'd made and grabbed a construction helmet from the pile of hats. "I'm sorry! I'll fix it." He lit up his horn to summon a hammer and some nails. Taking a step forward, he brought his hoof down on his lengthy beard and tripped, sliding across the floor on his face as his tools fell with him.  Plucking his face off the wooden floor, he looked up to see Mork holding the hammer he had dropped in his left glove.

"Oh, thanks, Mork. You're a real pal." He paused, his eyebrows falling as he turned toward the princess. "You're being really mean to me today, you know that?"

"I'm sorry, Shooting," Celestia said, remnants of her smile still lingering. "Let me make it up to you. We have a bit of free time now, so why don't you go ahead and have your interview with Mork?"

"My interview?" Shooting asked, standing back up. "You mean I can ask him all my questions?" As she nodded in response, Shooting vanished from where he was standing, only to reappear in midair beside the princess to plant a loud, syrupy kiss on her cheek. "I am unworthy of your splendor," he said after she pried him off with her magic.

"You don't mind, do you, Mork?" Celestia asked, setting Shooting down. Her eyes opened widely as she caught sight of him. She smiled at him, then put her hoof to her mouth as if to hide it. "Oh, isn't that adorable? He's pretending to read."

Mork lifted his head as Opal finished turning the next page for him. His face read nothing but confusion. 

"Mork!" Twilight said, dropping the books she had gathered to teleport over to him and swipe the book he was holding away. "You promised you wouldn't touch anything that's not...wait a second." She looked closer at the book's cover. "More Boring Than Anything? This isn't one of my books." She looked back at him. "Mork, do you...do you know how to read?"

His right eye twitching and his incessant smile trying to resurface, Mork dryly whispered his name once in response.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Twilight quickly flipped through the book and shoved it back in his face. "This book has no pictures. Why would you be looking at this book if you couldn't read it? Why would you even have it?"

"He didn't say 'no'."

Twilight turned to the bearded stallion behind her. "What?"

Shooting looked down and pawed at the floor. "He put extra emphasis on the 'm' and said it with a soulless lack of interest. That means he said, 'Of course I can, Little Princess.' I think."

An exclamation point jettisoned out of Mork's head, sending Opal flying off it. He quickly grabbed the punctuation mark and placed it behind his back, revealing his gums as he tried to smile again.

Catching Opal and placing her on her back, Twilight chose to ignore her first two questions and focus on the other. "Mork, is...is that true? You know how to read? You know how to read our language? Then why can't you speak it?"

His gaze locked on Shooting, Mork hesitantly said his name again. 

Shooting stood in silence for a second, wringing the sweat out of the hair on his forehead. "He...he said...he wishes he knew."

"So, wait," Twilight said, grabbing a nearby quill and paper from her desk, "if you can read, does that mean you can write?" She held the objects up to him. Mork flinched and pushed them away, silently shaking his head.

"I can teach you," Shooting said, peeking out from behind Twilight. Mork vigorously shook his head again, causing Shooting to slink away. "I understand. I'm not that good of a teacher."

"Princess, this changes everything," Twilight said, grabbing Opal before she jumped away. "If he knows how to read, maybe he's older than we thought. Maybe we don't have to send him home yet." 

"Let's not get carried away," the princess said, her eyes shut. "Mork," she said, opening her eyes and staring at him coldly. "I have to be honest with you. I find it difficult to believe that a creature as simple and childish as yourself is capable of reading."  

"Princess?" Twilight asked as Mork put the exclamation mark back over his head.

Celestia grabbed a scroll from Twilight's desk as she approached him. "If you truly wish to stay here,  I'm going to need you to prove it to me." She dangled the scroll in front of his face, giving him a smug grin. "If you can, that is." A genuine frown appeared on his face as he snatched it out of the air and violently pried it open to look at it.

Twilight's eyes widened as she looked at the scroll more closely. "Princess, isn't that the—"

"Let him read it, Twilight," Celestia said. "If he's not smart enough, there's no issue."

Mork held the page over his face, baring his teeth at it as he gripped it tightly in his gloves. As he read, his grip relaxed, and his expression followed suit. A natural smile spread across his face, and he began chuckling to himself every so often. After a time, he rolled the paper up, took a deep breath, and morked again.

Twilight and Celestia turned to Shooting, who was busy writing equations on a chalkboard underneath the four letters that spelled out Mork's name. After filling up the entire board with his work, he dropped the chalk and twirled around to say, "Forgive my sluggishness, Your Grace. He switched dialects on me. He says he believes he understands everything except why they wrote the letter."

"I'm sorry?" Celestia asked, turning back to Mork as he repeated his name in the same inflection as before.

"He doesn't understand why the blanks would want to give you this much of a warning," Shooting said. "He says it seems counterintuitive."

"The...blanks?" Twilight looked to Mork curiously. "What blanks?"

Mork shrugged and said his name again. 

Shooting cleared his throat. "He's not sure what we call them, but they're the ones that want to take over our kingdom."

After getting tackled to the ground by Twilight, Mork shook off the dizziness just in time for her to shout in his face, "You know who wrote that letter? You know who's coming to steal the Elements from us?" Mork strained out another response.

Shooting teleported beside them. "He asked if you were listening to him, Your Sparkleness. Then he said something sarcastic about it being the cat." He nodded to Opal, who jumped back onto Mork's shoulder. "He says it was written by our kingdom's have-nots, our mortal enemies." 

"You'll have to excuse us, Mork," Celestia said, lifting Twilight off him, "but I can't say we are familiar with a creature known as a 'blank'. You say they are the have-nots of Equestria? Why is that, exactly?"

Mork gripped his stomach in pain as he rose off the ground, saying his name four times in succession.

"Simple," Shooting said. "They have not any magic."

"I knew it!" Twilight shouted as she was dropped to the ground by her princess. "I told Spike that magicprint check was worth something."

Celestia continued. "There are many creatures in Equestria without magic. Would you mind being a little more specific?" Mork flashed a grin before saying his name backwards, a grin that caught Twilight's attention. 

"I think you of all princesses should know who they are, Carrot Top," Shooting said, quickly apologizing. "After all, you were the one who took them down."

His remark caught Celestia off guard. "I—You know of my past?"

"Hang on a second," Twilight said, standing in front of her princess with narrowed eyes. "How could you possibly know that? How could you know any of this? You've been here for a day." Mork rubbed his shirt with his knuckle and simply clicked his tongue.

"He says you give him too little credit," Shooting said. "One day was all he needed. He's been watching the Blanks closely ever since he first arrived. He knows everything there is to know about them now."

"All right, Smarty Pants," Twilight said. "Where did you see these things?" Mork raised an eyebrow and whistled.

"What do you mean 'where'?" Shooting asked. "He can't take five steps without seeing one. There were at least fifty of them at his town humiliation ceremony this morning alone."

"Fifty?" Twilight asked, putting her hoof to her head. "That's impossible. I set at least twice that many traps around town hall before the meeting. Where were they hiding?"

"They weren't hiding," Shooting said after Mork's cough. "They were right there in the crowd with the rest of the spectators."

Twilight stared at Mork, nonplussed. Looking confused himself, Mork said his name questioningly.

Shooting continued. "You had to have seen them at some point. They're all over town. They outnumber you. What about the other Twilight? You saw her, right?"

"Other...Twilight? There's another me walking around Ponyville?"

Shooting nodded after Mork's response. "Yes, she followed you around all day yesterday. You mean you didn't see her at all?" 

Twilight shook her head, her face splattered with worry. Mork hummed, still looking confused.

"But...you talked to her," Shooting said. "She talked to you. Right?"

"Mork, I don't know what you're talking about. The only other me I've ever seen in Ponyville was from the future, and she was only here for a few seconds." 

Mork groaned at Twilight's comment, squeezing the letter as he put his fist against his forehead. Shooting's mouth fell open.

"What is it, Shooting?" Celestia asked.

"He asked why this couldn't all just be about time travel," Shooting said, his enthusiasm gone. "And that we let two Blanks follow us into our big, magical tent yesterday." Twilight gasped, nervously glancing around the room. 

"Mork," Celestia said, calm voice laced with urgency. "Tell me, are any of them in this room right now?" Mork looked around and shook his head. 

Twilight grabbed the scroll from Mork. "Princess, if we can't see them, wouldn't that explain how they were able to deliver this letter in the first place without anypony knowing?"

"Indeed it would, Twilight. And if Mork's claims are correct, it seems they've already seen through our means of defense."

"Then why haven't they attacked yet?" Twilight asked. "If they got into Twinklespark, that means even the Test of Harmony spell is useless against them."

"I can think of only one reason," Celestia said, pointing to the top of Twilight's head. "They are having the same problem that we are with them."

"You mean...they can't see the Elements of Harmony? I guess that would make sense...if they have no magic of their own."

"Mork?" Mork asked, raising his arm.

"The Elements of Harmony are the most powerful objects in all of Equestria," Shooting told him. "They have the power to defeat even the strongest of enemies all by themselves, and they're our only means of defense against those who want to tear our kingdom apart."

"Mork?" Mork asked.

"Yes, they're irreplaceable."

Mork scratched Opal's chin as he inattentively stepped past the three ponies, immersed in his thoughts until he hit his head against the front door. He turned around and morked at them.

"He just asked you a question, Your Perfectness," Shooting said, turning to his princess. "He wants to know if you want to keep your kingdom."

Jumping to the meaning of his statement, Celestia looked to Mork. "What are you suggesting?"

Mork sneezed before he could reply, and Shooting stepped in to translate. "He says he's dealt with their type before. If we can take out the Main Blank, the one that gives them all their power, then your kingdom would sooner be overthrown by a burnt casserole than by them."

"And how do we find this Main Blank?" Twilight asked.

Mork pointed to himself and morked again. "He says he might be up for that," Shooting said. "But he requests compensation."

"You want us to pay you?" Twilight asked.

"Very well, Mork," Celestia said. "Name your price."

Mork glared at them as he pulled out Shooting's hammer from behind his back. He threw it to the ground and aggressively barked his name. Shooting looked up to the princess. "He wants his hammer back."

"His hammer?" Celestia looked to Twilight.

"Fluttershy was holding a blue hammer when we carried Rarity's diamond back yesterday," Twilight said. "I think I saw her holding it at the town meeting."

"So do we have a deal?" Shooting asked as Mork extended his glove to the princess, smiling as if he were asking the princess for her soul. 

At the sight of his smile, Twilight stepped in between them. "Will you excuse us for a second?" she said to Mork, drawing up a soundproof barrier around her and the princess. 

"I'm not so sure about this, Princess," she whispered. "Even if Mork's telling the truth, how do we know he's not working for these Blanks? How do we know he's not this Main Blank he's talking about?"

"There is much that we don't know, Twilight," Celestia said. "But what I do know is that someone wishes to see something valuable to us taken away, and until now we have been powerless to do anything about it. We can't afford to wait for the enemy to strike any more. It is time for us to strike back."  

The Princess's horn lit up as she dropped the barrier and summoned a vial of light blue liquid, shoving it right into Shooting's mouth and keeping it there until the liquid was gone. 

"Princess," Shooting said, gasping for breath, "what about tradition?"

"The time for jokes is over, Shooting," Celestia said. "Now please put the smooze away. You and Mork have a mission to complete."

Twilight raised her foreleg. "But Princess…"

"Smooze, fetch me my hat and jump inside," Shooting ordered, his voice proud and excited. "It's mission time." The smooze followed his instructions and filled into the hat as Shooting placed it on his head. "I am the greatest inventor the world has ever known!" He teleported over to the door and opened it. "Feels so good to be able to say that again."

With the door open, Celestia addressed her guards. "Go to town hall," she said. "I need you to find a blue hammer and bring it to me. Do not dawdle. You are to treat that hammer as if it were one of the Elements of Harmony itself. Understood?" The guards saluted and raced away as she turned back to Mork. "Is this enough?"

Mork smiled, a glint in his eye as he dashed outside, shouting his name once more as he left. Shooting teleported outside, looking back to them. "Mork says you made a smart decision," he said. "And that the winds of change just shifted in your favor." With that, he closed the door behind him and then fixed the large hole in the wall with a quick zap from the outside.

"Princess, did I miss something?" Twilight asked. "Why are we giving Mork this huge responsibility? Why are we even believing a word he says? He could have just run off to turn Mr. Cake into a coffee table." 

"Twilight, several minutes ago, you cast a spell on Mork that revealed his innermost thoughts to the entire town. Did you see any thoughts about him attempting to deceive us?"

"But those weren't his real thoughts. They couldn't have been. They didn't even make sense." Twilight stopped as she heard what she just said.

Celestia smiled, pushing aside one of Twilight's telescopes to peek out the window. "That cloud you made is called a Dream Puff." She stared up at the festively shaped clouds above them. "It's been awhile since I've seen one, but I'm certainly no stranger to them. We invented them as a simple way of delving into one's subconscious. They don't always reflect exactly what you're thinking, but they never reflect something you wouldn't think."

"So...he thinks Fluttershy has heat vision?"

"At some level. And he also believes me a conceited ruler who thinks very little of him. He's actually quite the prideful one."

"I picked up on that." Twilight narrowed her eyes for a moment, then her eyes shot back up to her princess. "Wait, so if you knew that already, then...did you egg him on? To get him to read that letter?"

"I just issued him a challenge, and he accepted it." Celestia smiled slyly at her student. "He did want to form an alliance with us, after all."

"And you think asking him to help us stop this threat is a good idea?"

"Twilight, let me ask you: Do you still believe that his arrival and this threat are somehow connected?"

"I...I still have my suspicions. But I have to admit. I don't see how it's possible."

"I agree. Even his ability to see these Blanks wouldn't explain the timing of our figuring out how to bring him here, and his Dream Puff showed us no ill will. I suggest you watch him closely, and make sure you have the Elements ready in case Mork manages to find this 'Main Blank.'" 

"Of course, Princess," Twilight said as she scribbled down some notes on her desk.

"In the meantime, I shall begin researching everything and anything I can about these creatures." She turned from the window and faced the door. "The fact that I know nothing about them has me deeply disturbed. Perhaps I can find a way to remember my past with the author of this letter."

Celestia hesitated before opening the door. "Oh, and before I forget, have you been feeling better, Twilight? Any recent headaches since yesterday?"

Twilight looked up from her notes. "Actually, no. I've been feeling great. That liquid sleep Headmaster Star gave me really did the trick. Just one drop kept me up all night. I gave the rest to Spike. He's really gotten behind on his sleep lately. I thought he could use it."

Rarity burst into the room with a bowl floating beside her head. "All right then. Who's hungry?"

"It took you all that time just to make a bowl of cereal?" Twilight asked.

"I had to take out all the marshmallows," Rarity whispered, her eyes wandering around the room. "Where'd Mork go? Where'd he take my precious, little Opal?"

"No time to explain, Rarity. We have to find the others. It's time for the Elements of Harmony to come together!"

Rarity dropped the cereal to the floor, the milk seeping out from under the bowl. "Oh...yay."





Rainbow gulped down the last few drops of the dark blue drink, exhaling in satisfaction as she tossed the glass container in a direction that didn't concern her. She set her spongy, red nose back into place and leapt to the sky, whirring around a candle-shaped cloud until it resembled her energetic self.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" she exclaimed as she landed back on the ground and trotted in place. "What was in that stuff, Spike?"

"Never mind that," Spike said, cupping his claws around his mouth to call out, "You find it yet?"

"Just a sec." A stained, amber cloth forced its way out from behind the newspaper stand, and Scootaloo's head popped out from behind it. "I knew nopony would look back here. The only ponies who even read the paper have it delivered to them."

"So you got it then?" Rainbow asked, her newfound energy fueling her excited smile. "My necklace is under that sheet?"  

"See for yourself," Scootaloo said, grabbing the edge of the tarp in her teeth and tugging on it. The cloth flew off, revealing a beat-up, yellow bird cage underneath it. The prisoner that waited inside caught Spike by surprise.

"You actually caught the owl?" he asked, leaning up against the bars and startling the bird off its perch. 

"What, you mean you're surprised?" Scootaloo asked, casually leaning against the newspaper stand. "This thing may be able to fly, but it's a total birdbrain. It tried to give me the slip, but then we passed by some gems somepony left lying around in this big, empty dirt patch. The owl dove on top of them like it was under some kind of spell, and all I had to do was grab the biggest one and get it to follow me right back into Ponyville." She tapped the cage twice. "I found this baby over by Fluttershy's cottage and threw the gem inside. Dumb bird went right in. I guess Miss Cheerilee was right. Owls do like shiny things."

"You are so awesome!" Rainbow said, snatching Scootaloo off the ground and spinning her around before pulling her in for a hug. "I know I said I owe you one before, but this time I owe you like ten."

"Don't mention it, Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo said, her cheeks reddening as she struggled to keep her smile under control. "Although if you wanted to mention it to everypony at my school after you take off the clown outfit, I'd be cool with that."

Rainbow laughed as she set Scootaloo down, rubbing her mane like a magic lamp.  

"So did the owl eat the necklace or what?" Spike asked, holding up the cage as he peered into it.

"What do you mean?" Scootaloo asked with a laugh, unwillingly turning away from Rainbow's acclamations. "It's in its beak." A shadow of fear swept over her face. "Why do you look like you're about to tell me the Tooth Fairy's not real?" 

Spike shook his head and set the cage down, sorrowfully turning away from them. 

"No!" Scootaloo forced herself out of Rainbow's grasp and pounced on the cage, knocking it on its side along with its prisoner. "It took me until sundown to catch that thing! It can't not have it!" She held back her tears but was powerless to stop them all. "It can't. It just can't." 

"Scootaloo, get ahold of yourself," Rainbow said, pulling her off the cage and shaking her. "This isn't over yet. We can still fix this." 

"Yeah," Spike said. "All we gotta do is retrace your steps and figure out where the owl dropped it."

"Are you nuts?" Rainbow asked, letting Scootaloo fall. "That'll take forever." She grabbed the cage and set it upright again, pointing to the owl inside. "Listen you, I don't know why you stole my necklace or what kinda deal with Discord you made to be able to see it, but you're Fluttershy's owl, right? You gotta be at least tame or something. So if I let you out, can you take us to where you took that necklace?"

"Let it out?" Scootaloo asked, her eyes wide and fearful. "After all I did to catch it?"

The owl matched Rainbow's stare with its large, unblinking eyes. It held perfectly still as if it were attempting to disguise itself as a stuffed toy. Then it spread its wings as far as it could from inside the cage and replied with a lighthearted hoot, its beak curved up as if it were smiling at them.

Rainbow eyed it closely, trying to gauge how honest it looked. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure how to tell if an owl looked honest. "You're lucky we're in a hurry," she said as she opened the latch. 

"You sure about this, Rainbow?" Spike asked as the bird flew out and excitedly circled above them. "I don't trust that thing as far as Scootaloo could throw it."

"That thing's laughing at me. I can hear it," Scootaloo said, seething up at it.

"Hey, right now that owl's the only one who knows where it is," Rainbow said. "And now that I'm wide awake, there's no chance of it getting away from us." She dashed into the sky right in front of the owl, stopping it where it flew. "You got any better ideas?"

"Fine," Spike said, looking up as the owl landed on his head and hooted excitedly again. "I guess we've got nothing to lose."

"We've got everything to lose," Scootaloo said, pulling Spike onto her scooter. "Now hold on tight. Otherwise we'll be seeing how far I can throw you."

At Rainbow's command, the owl saluted and took off, leading the three of them out of Ponyville and back toward the winding mountain path it had flown over yesterday. Though the situation wasn't ideal, Rainbow was at least relieved to be searching out of town. It meant Twilight was unlikely to spot them and that no one else would have to see her dressed as a clown.





"And after that I'll rub your feet and make you brunch and fluff your tail and read you all the stories I own. You'll see, Angel. I'll make sure you get all the love and attention you deserve." 

Having caught up to Angel and coaxed him back onto her head, Fluttershy couldn't take her eyes off him as she escorted him back home, using everything in her arsenal to get him into a happier mood. 

Angel had once again closed himself off to her, but he kept one eye open as if to show he was still listening. Though Fluttershy had nearly run out of luxuries to promise him, she continued to fire them off one after another, paying no mind to anything else as she kept walking forward. The gardener sidestepped her, and the taxi driver stopped in time, but the mailbox unfortunately didn't have the manners to let her pass. 

The second she recovered from the collision, Fluttershy gasped and stooped down to tend to her fallen pet, scooping him up with one hoof and gingerly petting him with the other. "Are you okay? Should I call a doctor? And maybe a therapist?" 

"Well, well, if it isn't Fluttershy? Just the mare I've been wanting to see."

Fluttershy and Angel squinted as they looked up to a bright light that shined down on them. Placing her hoof over her forehead, Fluttershy identified the source of the light as a brown stallion wearing a green baseball cap and a flour-stained apron. He smiled at her so brilliantly that it was reflecting the light of the sun into her eyes.

"Oh, hello, Mr. Rich," Fluttershy said, waving up at him as she lay in the dirt. 

Before she knew it, Filthy Rich had stood her back up and wrapped his hoof around her neck. "I'm glad I caught you. I never got a chance to really thank you for all the help you've given me these past few days. I don't even want to think what might have happened if you hadn't been there to help me with that Mork fellow."

"Don't mention it, Mr. Rich," Fluttershy said, anxiously glancing at the bunny in her grasp. "Please, I'm begging you."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Filthy said. "You did my family and I quite the service. Where I come from, ponies that serve my family get paid. And I come from Ponyville." He dropped an open sack about half Fluttershy's size right in front of her, a few excess bits spilling out of it. Springing to life, Angel squirmed out of Fluttershy's fostering grip and dove into the bag without a second thought. 

Fluttershy looked down at the bag and replied just as quickly. "Mr. Rich, I couldn't possibly accept this much money." Angel stuck his head back out, signaling her to stop talking with his eyes. Fluttershy continued. "I mean, I don't mean to walk over your family traditions, but there's no need to pay me for taking care of an animal. It's what I live for."

"I figured you'd say that," Filthy said, lifting Angel out of the bag and handing him back to his owner before sliding the bag back toward himself. "But you should at least take these." Filthy dropped a second sack onto her back, knocking her flat on her stomach. This one was twice her size and overflowed with bright pink cupcakes. "They were made with love just this morning," he said. 

"Then how could I say no?" Fluttershy asked, straining to get her words out as she fought against the weight of her gift. Picking up one of the spilled cupcakes, Angel scarfed it down and dove into the new sack just as cheerfully as the first.

Opening the front door of Filthy's house, Pinkie Pie bounced outside, still dressed in her mime outfit. She pulled out a megaphone and called out to him. "Filthy! The next batch is ready!"

"Oh, excuse me," Filthy said, giggling in delight as he dashed into his house and slammed the door behind him, leaving Pinkie outside.

"Wow, Pinkie," Fluttershy said, forcing herself out from under the bag. "You weren't kidding about cheering up Mr. Rich. What did you say to him?"

"Silly Fluttershy," Pinkie said, bouncing over to the fence Fluttershy was standing behind. "Mimes don't cheer ponies up by talking to them. Then again, it is April Foal's Day, so maybe they do. What do you think, Gummy?" Pinkie's pet alligator popped out of her mane wearing a set of false teeth with a cupcake in between them.  It made no attempt to chew and just let it sit there.

"You've really made a lot of progress on your Cupcake-A-Thon," Fluttershy said, looking to the bag Angel was swimming in. "Isn't it a bit early, though? I thought it wasn't for another two days."

"Oh, these aren't for the Cupcake-A-Thon," Pinkie said, grabbing Gummy's cupcake and taking a bite. 

"Then why—" Fluttershy jumped back as an entire tray of cupcakes was shoved near her face.

"Get 'em while they're hot!" Filthy shouted, taking a big whiff of his creations. "Just try not to burn your tongue."

"Um, Mr. Rich?" Fluttershy asked, peeking out from behind the mailbox. "Why are you in such a good mood? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"Why wouldn't I be?" Filthy asked, flinging his tray of cupcakes away. "Profits are up, the weather's perfect, and my little girl made a new friend. Everything's going great."

Pinkie came running up with the flung tray in her mouth, her tail wagging as she spit it out at his hooves. "Wow, really?" she asked. "Profits are up? Even with the rising costs of shipping eating away at your bottom line?"

"Not an issue," Filthy said. "Who do you think the railroad owners buy their tracks from? They're eating bread crumbs out of my pocket, and paying me for the privilege. I tell you, I feel invincible right now." He joyfully leapt into the air, getting up about half as high as his mailbox. A small crunching noise and a single tear seeping out of his eye signaled his landing. "Scratch that. I can't move."

Pinkie raised her foreleg and chopped him in the back, causing him to arch forward. He rotated his torso to get a feel for her treatment and smiled. "Thanks, Pinkie." He slid her the first bag he had offered Fluttershy. "I'll just stick to being happy on the ground."

"Your daughter made a new friend?" Fluttershy asked. "That's funny. I saw her yesterday when I rushed out to find…" She looked to the bag of cupcakes. "...toothpaste." 

"Really, now," Filthy said. "Did you see happen to catch who her new friend was? Diamond really seemed to like her."

Fluttershy shook her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't notice. I was a bit preoccupied with...the toothpaste." Angel stuck his head out of the bag, arching an eyebrow at her. 

"That's too bad," Filthy said, leaning forward to stretch out his back. "I wanted to send her a trainload of cupcakes as a way of saying thanks."

"Isn't that a little much?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, Fluttershy. Weren't you listening?" Pinkie asked. "The railroad's gonna pay for most of it." 

"It sure will," Filthy said. "And even if it weren't, it'd be a small price to pay. You should have seen my daughter jumping me out of my bed this morning to make some cupcakes. She hasn't done that in years. Plus, this friend of hers gave her a pink diamond as a present. That's not the kind of gift you hand out like a friendship bracelet. Not even I can easily get my hooves on one of those. I hope it's not fake. Diamond would be heartbroken. Or furious. I'm not too sure what her policy is with her friends." 

"It's not fake," Fluttershy said, grabbing Filthy's attention back. "My friend Rarity wouldn't have screamed like that if it was."

"Oh, so you were there when she got it?" Filthy asked.

"I think so. Actually, that diamond used to be a lot bigger, but it got broken into little pieces."

Filthy laughed. "So my daughter's new friend broke a diamond? That makes sense. Her mom always said she could tame a dragon if she put her mind to it."  

Fluttershy held silent until Filthy finished laughing. "Actually, the one who broke the diamond was Mork. But I don't think—"

"Aha!" Pinkie shouted. "So Mork is Dimey's new friend. It all makes sense now."

"What? No, that doesn't make sense at all," Fluttershy said. "She wanted to banish him to the Everfree Forest. That's not something friends say to each other."

"She was just joking around again," Pinkie said. "Dimey and Mork are great friends. You saw them together yesterday, right, Filthy? They were like two birds with one stone."

Filthy pulled at his tie. "Well, I did get the feeling she might have hated him a little...too strongly."

Pinkie barely let him finish before continuing. "Besides, I'm sure Dimey would make a great role model for him."

Filthy looked at her. "Excuse me?" 

"What? You don't think so?" Pinkie asked.

Filthy's flinched at her statement. "Y-yes, of course I think so, but aren't role models generally older than the one they're modelling for?"

"Oh, that's right, Mr. Rich," Fluttershy said. "We never told you. Mork's just a baby, probably even younger than Spike." She smiled, failing to notice that Angel had dropped his cupcake. "Twilight thinks he's just about a year away from being able to talk." Fluttershy sadly looked to the ground. "Although, I guess that doesn't matter now. He's probably already gone by now."

Panic formed across Filthy's face. "Gone? What do you mean 'gone'? My daughter's new friend can't be gone! Why would he be gone?"

"He has to go home today. He's too young to—"

"Unless you're finishing that sentence with 'die', I'm going to have to strongly disagree." He forcibly stomped his hoof, leaving an impression in the dirt and a stinging pain in his back. He collapsed to the ground, groaning at the pain.

"Mr. Rich, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked, wincing as Pinkie chopped him again.

"Not...if my daughter's friendless." He slowly rose off the ground. "Is there any way you can get to him before he leaves?"

"Well, I guess it's possible," Fluttershy said. "He was supposed to leave right after the town meeting, and it's only been a few minutes since I saw him there."

"What does he like?" Filthy asked.

"He likes sweets," Pinkie said. "No, wait, he loves those. We'll have to think of something else."

"Perfect." Filthy struggled to grab hold of the pan of cupcakes he had dropped. "Pinkie, I don't care what it takes. Find Mork and make sure he stays right here in Ponyville. Give him these cupcakes. Tell him there's plenty more where that came from. Tell him he can have all the ice cream he can eat if he comes to Sugarcube Corner at three o'clock. Offer him my house if you need to. Just don't let my daughter lose her new friend!"





Apple Bloom's mouth hung open like a broken gate on a windy day. She shook her head as she looked to her clubhouse's flooring, utter confusion on her face. "Ya can't be serious," she said, lifting her head to read her sister's expression.

"I ain't nothing but," Applejack said, her resolute eyes locked on her sister. "Your teacher talked some sense into her yesterday, and now she wants to make nice with y'all. I for one think it's mighty considerate of her."

"Oh yeah? Well, if she's so considerate, then what are you doin' here?" Apple Bloom peeked her head over the windowsill to sneak a peek outside. Diamond stood below them, scrubbing her tongue with a cupcake beside her cart. 

Applejack grabbed the window's curtains and pulled them together, blocking her sister's view of the outside. "I came here 'cause I knew you'd get termites in yer tail the second she got within six hundred yards of the place."

"Well I wouldn't be surprised if she put 'em there," Apple Bloom said, sliding her tail up to her face. "That filly's gone—"

"That is enough, Apple Bloom!" Applejack said, startling her sister against the wall. "You've been scared silly of this filly for one stinkin' day, and you've already lost our kayak, burnt dinner, got Winona caught in a tree, let a giant spider loose into Ponyville, and cost Big McIntosh a night's worth a sleep 'cause you kept thinkin' you heard gigglin'. This has to stop." 

"Really?" Apple Bloom asked, looking relieved. "You mean yer gonna call in the nice ponies in white to get some bubble wrap and—"  

"Yer gonna go out there and spend the day with her."

"What?" Apple Bloom threw herself against the wall. "No! No way! You can't make me!" 

"It's for yer own good, Apple Bloom." Applejack reached out to grab her shoulder.

"Don't come any closer!" Apple Bloom said, swatting her sister's hoof away. "She—she got to you too, didn't she? Just like she got to Sweetie Belle!" 

Sweetie Belle peeked her head in from the clubhouse door, opening it widely to fit her large hat through it. "Good to see she didn't get to you," she mumbled.

"Apple Bloom, just listen to me," Applejack said, lowering her volume.

"No! You need to listen to me for once!" Apple Bloom shouted. "You weren't there! You didn't see the look she gave me after I broke her tiara!"

"I did," Sweetie said, shutting the door behind her as she came inside. "I mean, yeah, she was mad, but she wasn't prowl-Sweet-Apple-Acres-at-night mad."

"Mad?" Apple Bloom asked, jumping up in agitation. "I think she was bitin' my ear with just her eyes so she could breathe fire down my back. She was ready to melt me down and wear me on her head. Are you tellin' me that all that's gone just 'cause Miss Cheerilee said some stuff to her yesterday?"

"I am, and so is Miss Cheerilee," Applejack said, her voice almost monotone in its serenity. "Are you tellin' me you don't believe us?" 

Apple Bloom looked away. "I—I wanna believe ya, Applejack. Honest. It's just...the look she gave me that day...I saw it again." She swallowed hard. "It was yesterday in class. Same wild eyes, same angry eyebrows, only thing different was that she was smiling." 

She shuddered. "That smile. It was like the smile of somepony who threw part of herself away and was glad to see it go. Like she unlocked something evil that's been hiding inside her all this time. Now everytime I see her face, everytime I hear her name, that smile pops up in my brain and I just think...she's still wearin' it."

Sweetie put her hoof to her mouth. "Well, when you put it that way…"

"Apple Bloom," Applejack said, removing her hat. "You're really scared of her, ain't ya?"

"A course I am!" Apple Bloom shouted. "Have ya heard one word I've said?"

Applejack's eyes fell to the floor. "I guess I still need to work on that." She threw her forelegs around her sister and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry, Apple Bloom. Here I'm tryin' to be a better big sister, and I'm still makin' the same ol' mistakes. Can ya ever forgive me?"

"Applejack…" Apple Bloom smiled and returned the hug. "Ya don't have to apologize. Where am I gonna find a better big sister than you?"

Applejack pulled away. "Really? You mean that?"

Apple Bloom glared at her. "You callin' me a dirty liar?" she asked, getting a small chuckle out of her sister. 

"All right, Apple Bloom," Applejack said. "Let's go."

"Right," Apple Bloom said, grabbing onto Sweetie's hat. "I'll hide under Sweetie's giant hat again, and you tell Diamond I fell into a wormhole or somethin'." 

Applejack pushed down on the hat, keeping it on Sweetie's head. "Apple Bloom, I still meant what I said before. You gotta make nice with her."

"What? But—" 

"Admittin' yer fear's the first step. But that fear ain't gonna go away until you take it by the horns." She walked over to the window and pulled the curtains apart.

"She...she don't have horns." Shaking, Apple Bloom peeked out the window again. Diamond was still waiting below, bathing her tongue in frosting. She caught Apple Bloom looking at her out of the corner of her eye, and quickly put the cupcake back on the tray to smile and wave.

"Ah!" Apple Bloom ducked under the window frame, placing her forelegs over her eyes. "She's callin' in her attack frogs!" She felt a hoof on the top of her head and looked up to her sister's determined stare. "Or...waving."

"Applejack's right, Apple Bloom," Sweetie said. "You don't have to be scared. I hung out with Diamond all day yesterday, and I had tons of fun. I got shot out of a cannon, attacked by a monster, yelled at by my sister—hey!"

Applejack smiled after pushing Sweetie's oversized hat over her face. "What we're trying to say is that the only thing down there is a little pony that wants to have some fun with y'all. And the longer you stay up here, the longer yer missin' out on that fun."

Apple Bloom rose to her hooves, turning her eyes up like a lost sheep. "You'll come with me, won't ya?"

Applejack almost looked hurt. "Apple Bloom, I wouldn't dream of leaving you at a time like this."

Applejack led her sister outside, she and Sweetie fighting against her as she tried to drag her hooves. They pushed her all the way down the ramp and over to the cart of cupcakes, the three of them putting up a friendly front as they prepared to greet their special guest.

Diamond beat them to the punch, however, by holding up a piece of paper and asking, "Is this supposed to be me?" 

Apple Bloom's friendly demeanor snapped off like a stale pretzel. "Abort mission! Mayday! Mayday!"  She grabbed Sweetie's hat off her head, Applejack nonchalantly snatching it away before she could disappear underneath it.

"This is the paper Scootaloo was drawing on, right?" Diamond asked, looking it over. 

"It's not what you think," Sweetie Belle said, swiping the paper and shoving it into Apple Bloom's mouth. "Scootaloo was just...practicing her drawing...on her Friends For Never list. And she drew you twice."

Diamond raised an eyebrow as she turned her attention to Apple Bloom. "This was your idea, wasn't it?"

Apple Bloom nearly choked on the list as she violently spit it out. "What?" She picked the dampened paper off the ground and feverishly looked it over it. "That ain't even fair! How could you possibly think that?"

Diamond shrugged. "It just seems like something you'd do, saying we can never be friends twice and all."

"I never said nothing like that in my life!" Apple Bloom shouted. 

Diamond shook her head with a sigh. "There you go again. You silly farmponies and your double negatives." 

"Huh?" Applejack and Apple Bloom said in unison.

"You didn't have to keep it a secret," Diamond said, placing her hoof over her heart. "I'm honored that you think we can never never be friends." She looked toward her back. "And now I've even got a cape to prove it."

Apple Bloom held silent in a stupefied daze, and none of Applejack's prodding was going to distract her from it.

"That's a great hat, Sweetie Belle," Diamond said, pointing up to it.

"What, this?" Sweetie bashfully took it off. "Nah, I think it's kinda silly."

"Not on you," Diamond said, her eyes glowing with thought. "Maybe we could try to get you a modelling cutie mark."

"Modelling?" Sweetie asked. "But where are we gonna find enough paper mache?"

Diamond placed her hoof under her chin. "Now let me think. We could use some of my old clothes, but Dazzle still isn't in the best mood after that shoddy dry cleaning job yesterday." 

"Dazzle?" Applejack asked.

Diamond responded without looking. "He's my cat. You've never met him. He doesn't like outdoors or ponies in general."

"Neither does my sister's cat!" Sweetie shouted. "Can I meet him? I've always wondered what kind of pet you'd have."

Diamond looked at her oddly. "Why would you wonder—never mind. You can meet him some other time. I know where we need to go."

"Away from Apple Bloom?" Apple Bloom asked, jerking back with a shout as Diamond clapped her hooves together. 

"All right, Crusaders. Follow me. It's cutie mark time." She turned around and began pushing her cart away from the clubhouse. Sweetie and Applejack followed, doing the same with Apple Bloom. Eventually, Apple Bloom tired of being pushed and started walking, though she still kept her distance from Diamond, clinging to her sister like an extra limb. Applejack, seeing how little progress was being made, decided to keep the ball rolling. 

"So, Diamond Tiara, how'd that party of yours go?" she asked.

"Party?" Diamond asked, curiously looking back to her. "What party?"

"You know, the one Pinkie Pie threw ya yesterday."

Diamond stopped walking until she came up with an answer. "Oh, you mean the one I'm having later today. I'm sure it'll be great. My dad rented out Sugar Cube Corner so the two of us could have an ice cream banquet together." She turned to Sweetie. "I'd invite the rest of you, but we want it to be just the two of us."

"An ice cream banquet?" Sweetie asked. "But you can't have ice cream. Your dad said so, remember?"

"Oh, that," Diamond said, hesitating for a moment. "Well, you know how grown-ups like to overreact. He decided one day was punishment enough."

Sweetie came to a standstill. "But wasn't that the whole reason you—" 

"Hey, we're here," Diamond said, walking up to the front gate and pulling it open. "You three wait here. I'll be right back." She passed the gate and cantered up to the ornate, purple door, knocking on it twice. Sweetie turned to Apple Bloom, who still seemed uneasy but had considerably more smugness on her face.

After about half a minute of waiting, the door pulled open and Diamond greeted the one standing in the doorway. "Silver Spoon, just the filly I've been wanting to see."

"Diamond Tiara?" Silver Spoon asked, opening the door wider. Her mane hung low and unbraided, and she wore a wooly, orange bathrobe along with some fluffy, blue slippers. She looked Diamond over with her eyes half-closed and asked, "What are you wearing?"

"Oh, you mean my new cape?" Diamond asked, twirling around to let the wind catch it. "You like it?"

Silver said nothing, staring at Diamond with a look of tired confusion before her eyes flew open, and she anxiously looked down at her own clothes. "Today's April 1st, isn't it?" She cried out in frustration almost immediately. "I'm sorry, Diamond. I completely forgot."

"Don't worry about it, Silver Spoon," Diamond said. "Just get a calendar and—"

"No, I mean I forgot our special holiday tradition. I just had so much on my mind yesterday that it didn't even cross my mind." Silver sighed as she grabbed Diamond's cape to look at it closely. "And you really went all out this year too. This scrap of cloth has to be the ugliest thing you've ever worn. You even put that dorky Cutie Mark Crusader emblem on it. Talk about dedication."

"Hey, that emblem's not dorky!" Sweetie Belle dashed up to the doorstep, stopping right beside Diamond. "A little plain, maybe, but it's not dorky!"

"Sweetie Belle, what are you doing here?" Diamond asked, looking back toward the gate.

"Yeah," Silver said with a glare. "What are you doing here? This is private property, and unless you're part of the cleaning crew, you don't belong here."

"Fine," Sweetie said, sticking her nose up as she turned around. "I didn't want to come here, anyway." She started to walk away until Silver's voice rang out again.

"And nice try with the hat," Silver said. "But we can totally still see your blank flank. Next time, why don't you try covering it up with a cutie mark like normal ponies?"

"I am a normal pony!" Sweetie shouted, twirling back around. "Diamond, tell her!" 

"All right, what's all the fuss about?" Applejack asked, escorting Apple Bloom up to the door. "I'm hearing too much hollerin' for this to be goin' well."

"Would you all get off my front lawn?" Silver shouted as they neared the door. She put her hooves over her eyes. "I'm not in the mood for all this right now." 

"Don't worry about it, Silver Spoon," Diamond said, placing her hoof on Silver's shoulder. "They're with me."

Silver pulled her hooves away, looking as if Diamond had said her mailbox was running for mayor. "But they're them."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Apple Bloom asked. 

"Diamond, what's going on?" Silver Spoon asked. "Did you start a new holiday tradition without telling me?"

"No, nothing like that," Diamond said. "I just decided it was time we broadened our circle a little. You know, like they do in the movies."

"In the movies, the losers make friends with the cool ponies, not the other way around."

"Are they always this blunt?" Applejack whispered to her sister, who nodded without thought. 

"I wanted to tell you more delicately, but I guess it's faster this way," Diamond said. "It's not a problem, though, right?"

Silver Spoon's glower flew right off her face, and she took a step back. "Oh, uh, of course I am. I just wasn't sure you were is all. My horoscope, like, totally said ponies who barge onto your front lawn before noon make the best friends."

"Perfect, so can we come inside?" Diamond asked, stepping forward. "We needed to borrow your old wardrobe for a little—" Diamond stopped as Silver's hoof slammed against the door frame.

"No, you can't come in," Silver said, her eyes jittering around.

"What, why not?" Diamond asked.

"Because you—" Silver yawned. "Sorry, I'm still a little tired."

Diamond put her hoof over her mouth. "Oh, was it that dumb owl again?"

Silver shook her head, rubbing her eye. "No, not this time."

"Great, so we can come in then," Diamond said, getting blocked again by Silver's hoof.  

"Let's just go, Diamond," Sweetie said, turning away again. "I guess she doesn't want any new friends."

"It's not because of you," Silver said. "My mom's having the whole house cleaned. I'm not allowed any visitors until they're done."

"Yeesh, what is it, spring?" Diamond asked.

"Uh-huh, but mainly she just wants to clean up the mess from her big fundraising party yesterday."

"Oh, right, you told me about that. Was it as boring as you thought it was gonna be?"

Silver Spoon stared back at her apathetically. "I spent three hours standing by the punchbowl reminding all my mom's friends what my name was." 

Diamond laughed. She didn't laugh for very long, but she laughed. And after hearing it, Silver Spoon couldn't help but laugh too.  

A fresh smile on her face, Silver asked, "So, how was your party last night?" 

"Why do ponies keep asking me that?" Diamond asked. "My dad made me a cake. I'd hardly call that a party." Her eyes lit up. "That's it!" She grabbed Sweetie and shook her like a doll. "I know exactly how you can get your cutie mark." 

"T-that's okay. I can wait." Sweetie said.

Diamond hopped off the doorstep and walked down the stone path, turning back to say, "I'll see you later, Silver Spoon. Try to get some more sleep, okay?"

"Wait," Silver called out, looking down at her clothes again. "Do you have another cape?" She shook off her robe and slippers and stepped outside, closing the door behind her. She threw her head back, instantly twirling her hair into a braid. "I want to come too."

Silver caught the cape as Diamond took hers off and threw it to her. "You're lucky," Diamond said. "Apple Bloom's sister cancelled the initiation ritual." She grabbed Sweetie's hoof and dragged her along as she left the yard. "Now follow me, everypony. We've got work to do." 

Silver Spoon quickly put the cape on and raced after them, the Apple sisters followed closely behind.

"Apple Bloom," Applejack said, looking about as exhausted as Silver. "I ain't sayin' she's crazy. I ain't sayin' she's evil. But I gotta tell ya. I understand."





"All right. What's next? What's next?" Mr. Star looked over the list he had wrapped around his torso. "Your favorite sport. What's your favorite sport?"

The only one that matters. Tennischess.

"Mork," I said aloud.

Mr Star's laughter almost sounded mocking. "If you say so. I'm more of a checkersgolf fan myself." 

Golfdraughts isn't a real sport. They don't even play it at the Olympics.

"Oh, here's an interesting one," he said, teleporting in front of me as his list made him look more and more like a mummy. "I heard you used that hammer of yours yesterday to break a diamond into little pieces. What spell did you use to pull that off?"

Stick to the uninteresting ones.

Shooting's smiling teeth disappeared into his beard after I morked again, and he turned away from me. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject." He rolled up his list and sent it away into nothing. Then everything turned silent as we continued forward.

I didn't know how he was doing it. Maybe he was taking incredibly lucky guesses. Or maybe he was using some kind of magic spell. Honestly, I probably would have been more interested in understanding how he was reading my mind if I wasn't so enthralled by what it was letting me do.

There was no pretense, no hesitation, no nonsense of any kind. All I had to do was say one word, make one little noise, and this bearded horse would pour out my unfiltered thoughts for all to se, cutting out all the time I'd otherwise spend apologizing for phrasing something incorrectly or laughing at something that no one considered a joke.

It was amazing. With this magical translator by my side, I could say anything. No, I could say everything. And I could say it well. I could finally speak my mind. 

And the timing couldn't have worked out better for my new allies. Team Magic, or at least the Horn half of it, was an absolute wreck. Clearly, they needed me if they wanted any hope of stopping this impending disaster. They couldn't see Blanks, they thought my gloves were removable, they had no concept of the kinetic properties of matter. It was like they had no grip on reality whatsoever.

Whatever they used to make the special glaze that protected their minds from the dark side of magic, they definitely needed to double check its side effects. And I needed to limit my exposure to magic as much as possible, which made Mr. Star an unfortunate permanent travelling companion. 

He wasn't even walking beside me. He was keeping up with me by teleporting, as if he was mocking me with his magical abilities. Though to be fair, it was probably the only way he could keep up without stumbling over his facial hair. He seemed to be just as obsessed with magic as Twolight, but I was starting to think he'd trade in his magical powers if he could become me.

"So, Morky," Mr. Star said as he teleported next to me again, "we've been at this for a few minutes now. Do you see any—sweet smoozy sundaes!" Shooting grabbed me by the head with his magic and shoved his face against mine. "You never got your breakfast! I've got to get some food in you before you decide to hate it here and leave!"

He disappeared in a flash of dark light, reappearing almost instantly to say, "I'll be back as soon as I can. If you see any Blanks, beat them up until I get back." He teleported away once again, leaving me on a bridge somewhere in Ponyville with only a cat to protect myself with. Fortunately, that was all the protection I'd be needing. Spotting a bench about three leaps and a somersault away from me, I walked over to rest my legs, which were still trying to get used to supporting my entire body weight again.

Even given how far gone they were, it amazed me that Team Celestia actually saw the Blanks as a threat. What was there to be afraid of? We were the ones with the magic. What did it matter that the Blanks had the audience on their side? We could turn the audience into steamed asparagus, and their Board would probably only give them a minor citation. 

The only thing that could possibly stop us would be one we're looking for now: the main protagonist of Equestria, the one with the power to overcome even the most airtight, inescapable dangers simply through the power of her own popularity.

I had to hand it to them. The plan they described in the letter sounded brilliant, but it was such a double-edge sword. And their end of the blade was only sharp because they knew how to exploit their opponents' literal blind spot. However, they didn't count on some meddling kid showing up and unmasking them.   

Must be because they're the good guys.

My minion stood up on my shoulder, glaring toward the other side of the bench. I followed her gaze to see an odd transition effect that resembled the opening of a door. After that, everything turned to frosting. 

"Oops! Sorry, Mork. Those were supposed to go in your mouth." 

Recognizing the voice, I took the cupcakes off my eyes to find a mime smiling back at me. Her face was painted white, but the only clothing she wore was a beret, meaning her postage stamp was clearly visible. It was all I needed to identify her as Twolight's friendlier, brighter, blankier counterpart.

Does this mean I have to beat her up?

"So," she said, immediately defying the sacred code of miming conduct, "you got any snacks for me today?" 

Without warning, she jammed her hoof into my ear and fiddled around in my head, no doubt searching for more of Rook's goodies. Meanwhile, my mind was journeying elsewhere. I was certain that Twolight spoke with Twilight yesterday. There was no denying that. Therefore, did that mean the Horns and Wings saw the Blanks as Horns and Wings too? Or did they look like cows or something? And why were there two Twilights? The clone explanation didn't work. They looked nothing alike. Was it somehow part of Twilight's cover? 

Twilight shoved her other leg into the same ear, gasping in delight as she grabbed hold of something. With a gleeful, high-pitched squeal, she pulled her hooves out of my ear, and parsley exercise needn't break loud and fast. Why the route of the seventh kitchen? Not without a guardrail, I'd say.

"Sorry, Mork," Twilight said after shoving my brain back into my head. "I thought it was taffy."

"Mork!" I shouted at her, placing my hands over my ears. I knew we were enemies now, but some kinds of warfare were just unsportsmanlike. Even so, before I could sic my minion on her, a barrage of eureka shot across my newly reclaimed mind.

That's it! Twolight never actually referred to Twilight by name. Since she said she doesn't know of any other Twilight, she probably refers to her by a different name. I can think of only one explanation resulting from that fact: The Horns have to see Blanks as other Horns. More specifically, they see Twilight as a clone of Twolight. That's why Twilight decided to use a different name around them. So that it would look less suspicious and let her easily infiltrate their main circle. I wonder why I haven't heard her fake name yet. You'd think it would have come up by now. 

"What are you daydreaming about, Mork?" Twilight asked, snapping me out of my imagination. "Did you remember where you put your snacks?"

I've got to calm down. If I make any noises, she might 'translate' my thoughts like how Mr. Star does. Then again, what are the odds she's also learned my amazing one-word vocabulary in such a short amount of time? Actually, scratch that. It'd be foolish to think she hasn't by now. She's probably had about as little exposure to magic as I have. I have to assume she's at least twenty times as smart as any Horn.

"Mork?" Twilight asked as if prompting another of yesterday's Mork battles.

Hang on a second. If she's really that smart, how do I know she hasn't already figured out my connection with the Horns? And if she hasn't, this is a prime opportunity to get information from her about the main protagonist. I can only imagine what she knows about Applejack and the others. I could possibly learn everything from her.

You sure could! There's nothing I don't know about my friends. Betcha can't guess what Applejack's favorite sport is!

Pulled from my thoughts again, I lifted my chin off my knuckle and slowly looked aside. She was still smiling at me, a perfect look of feigned ignorance on her face. If she hadn't said anything, I would have had no clue she was even doing it. It was like she was toying with me.

Her smile grew wider as if it were being fed by my surprise. Wait, are we playing a mind game? I love those! Don't you? What other kinds of games do you like? My favorite's pin the tail on the pony. Do you know that one? How about charades? Red rover? Musical chairs? Simon Says? Blind pony's bluff?

I have to stay calm. I have to stay in control. If she's being this blatant about it, she has to have some—did you say Simon Says?    

Twilight lit up like a neon sign. Yeah, you've played it before? Don't you just love it when you play it with a bunch of your friends?

An understatement if I've ever heard one. Back when I was—wait a second. You're not a bad guy, right?

Twilight pointed to herself. Me, a bad guy? I don't think so. Ha! Get it?

Then why are you in here? Invading someone else's inner voice is a class two public felony. Good guys can only afford one of those on their morality record per month at most.

Really? My bad. I didn't—whoops.

"My bad. I didn't know," Twilight said. She reached over to me and pulling something off my head. It looked like a small, green lizard creature with giant teeth. She held it by its tail while looking at it with annoyance. "Why didn't you tell me, Gummy? You're usually so on top of that kind of stuff."

How long was that thing on my head? What was it doing there? Was it...leeching my thoughts to her?

"Hang on a second. I thought you weren't old enough to talk yet," Twilight said, looking back to me. "Has it been a year already?"

It was all a ploy. The mime outfit, the brain pull, the non-sequiturs. All of it was to sneak her leech onto my head and get to my thoughts. She's good. Too good. If she were the main Blank, she'd have tricked Twolight into throwing the Elements of Harmony into a volcano years ago. But if it's not her, then who?

"Oh, I get it," Twilight said, letting her Gummy minion clamp onto her own hair. "You've got to learn to think before you can talk. Am I right?"

I had no idea she was this devious. I can't even read past her facade. Maybe I should check to make sure she's really a protagonist.

"Oh my goodness!" Twilight shouted, leaping off the bench.

Yep, that's a protagonist for you. Always reminding us of her goodness.

"I almost forgot to tell you what I came here to tell you. Do you want to come to a party today at Sugarcube Corner?"

So if a mime costume is a distraction to get a brain leech on me, what does a party invitation translate to? Maybe it's a brainwashing ritual.

"Well, Mork, do you?" she asked. 

"Mork," I said, shaking my head. I better not take any chances. If I'm wrong, I could end up going to an actual party.

"But Mork, Filthy begged me to make sure you'd be there. He said he'll pull the moon out of the sky and gift wrap it for you if you'll show up."

Oh, so this is Mr. Rich's idea. Does that make him an even more powerful mastermind than Twilight here? Guess it's not him either.

"I could be the entertainment. I know! I could throw a puppet show." She brought out her childishly simple moose puppet from yesterday. "Mr. Happy made a full recovery this morning, and he's all ready for duty." The puppet saluted in agreement.

Actually, come to think of it, I've never considered Mr. Rich's role in the Blank hierarchy. One of his three children is a Horn, if he's only got three, and his wife's on par with Applejack in infiltrating my side's main group. If he's that involved, an interview with him could be all I need. I can't pass up something like that.  

"Mork mork," I said, suddenly hoping I didn't just tell her my previous thoughts.

"All right!" Pinkie jumped into the air as a stray firework shot off behind her. "I'll go tell Filthy you'll be there." She bounced down the street, hopping back and forth between the left and right sides of it. "The party's at three o'clock!" she called out. "Hope you have fun!"

As I watched her leave, my minion tapped me on the side of the head. Before I turned to see what it was, I got a strong inclination of what it could be. I reached to the top of my head and removed Gummy, staring at him with apathy as he avoided my eye contact in two separate directions and his teeth fell out of his head.

Sugarcube Corner. Three o'clock. That's where I'll learn the identity of the main Blank. And that'll be one step closer to getting my hammer back. 

In another flash of darkness, Mr. Star appeared on the bench right beside me, a flask of water floating beside him. "Sorry, I took so long, Mork," he said. "I saw this funny cloud that was shaped like a big raindrop, and I got caught up inventing a portable version of the water cycle. Then I forgot why I left." 

Never mind the breakfast. Where's Sugarcube Corner?

"Wait, I just remembered! Your breakfast!" He vanished again, the flask falling to the ground and dousing me with condensation.

It's official. Either he's not actually reading my mind or I should just consider convincing the Blanks to give villainy a chance. Maybe I should go ask Mr. Rich where the place is. I should probably be able to find him before three without my translator. What time is it, anyway?

The sun looked to be hanging out somewhere near the top of the sky, but it wasn't close to my sun's typical noon perch. I slapped my new reptilian minion back onto my head so I could grab hold of my wrist and check the time. According to my watch...something was very wrong. 

My watch is still broken? That's...that's impossible. My watch only stays broken for two scenes at most. I'm already into the next day. Why wouldn't it...No. It's just like the witch's door. I crashed through it once, and it took an entire day for it to fix itself. Now it's happening to me. This world is starting to affect me. No, it's starting to infect me. How long then do I have before I become like...them?

Mr. Star popped in again with a welder's mask on and a pair of antennae on his head. He slapped himself in the forehead and left without a word. 

I have to end this today. I can't stay here for one second longer than I have to. I have to find the main Blank, get my hammer back, and take the first glob of 'smooze' back home. I don't have any time to waste. It's time to end this war.





Rainbow and Scootaloo watched Spike as he gorged himself on the small pile of gems that had been left lying out like a dragon's nest. Scootaloo held a strong grip on her scooter, rolling it back and forth as she waited for him to finish. Rainbow was beginning to shake as she watched the sun slowly rise higher in the sky. As Spike finally swallowed the last gemstone in the pile, the owl shook herself from her trance and flapped her wings.

"All right, they're gone," Rainbow said, flying straight up and pointing toward the winding cliff behind them. "Now will you get a move on already? I've seen clouds move faster than this."

"Take it easy, Rainbow," Spike said, getting back on Scootaloo's scooter. "That dumb bird's our only chance of finding this necklace. She's not gonna help us if we scare her."

"Every second we don't find it, that whatever-it-is gets another second to do whatever it wants." She shoved her head against the owl's. "You wanna see a monster run loose in Ponyville?" 

A bead of sweat falling down her face, the owl shook its head and took back to the sky, slightly increasing her speed. "That's more like it," Rainbow said, smirking as she raced to catch up to it.

"Too bad that monster isn't here right now," Scootaloo said, pushing forward to get her momentum going. "I wanna see Rainbow Dash run loose all over its face."

"Hey, when that time comes, I'll make sure you get a front row seat, Squirt," Rainbow said, flipping around to fly belly up.

"Oh, give me a break," Spike said. "You couldn't even handle that crybaby with the orange hair. How are you gonna fight a real monster?"

"A real monster's not gonna cry like that," Rainbow said, her gaze focused on the owl. "That means I don't have to hold back."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Spike leaned in and murmured to Scootaloo, "Rarity told me she got knocked right on her face." 

The two of them came to a full stop as Rainbow appeared in front of them. "He got in a lucky shot," she said, hovering off the ground. "I'd have made a Mork chop out of him if Fluttershy hadn't got in my way."

Spike leaned in closer to look at Rainbow's face. "You still have a mark on your cheek under all that clown makeup, don't you?"

Rainbow tensed up, covering her cheek with her hoof. "S-so what? It's a battle scar. All awesome ponies have those. And only the most awesome ponies get 'em on the face."

"You're so right, Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo said. "I'm gonna get a battle scar on my face too. That'll make us, like, scar sisters or something."

"Hold that thought," Rainbow said, pushing her nose against Spike's. "And anyway, at least I didn't get flipped around like pizza dough five seconds after meeting the thing."

Spike pulled back. "That's not fair. He played dirty! He used some kind of smokescreen attack on me."

"Sure he did," Rainbow said, turning away.

"Uh, guys," Scootaloo said, looking off to the horizon. "Where'd the owl go?"

Rainbow and Spike looked to the sky in silence, a cloud resembling a smiling pony the only object to be found. Both of them shouted in horror.

"What do we do now?" Spike asked. 

Rainbow socked the cloud in the jaw as it floated near her, making it dissipate into nothing. "I'll tell you what," she said, raising her hoof in the air. "We're gonna—" She fell to the ground with a thud as a green blur crashed into her, cutting off her speech before it could be inspiring. 

"What the—?" Spike jumped back at the presence of the stranger, pulling Scootaloo and her scooter back with him. They also fell to the ground.

An Earth pony mare stood on Rainbow's wings, pinning them to the gravelly soil. She wore a green ski cap that nearly matched her coat, and she was breathing heavily as she stared furiously down at Rainbow. Rainbow struggled to push her off but couldn't do anything against the three enormous travelling bags the mare was wearing on her back and sides. However, at the drop of a hat, the mare's expression turned neutral and her breathing turned silent. She got off Rainbow's wings and stepped aside. "You're not a clown," she said, looking over the wig that had fallen off Rainbow's head. "You're just wearing a clown costume."

Rainbow stood back up, looking to the others who just shrugged back. "Uh, you got me? Who are you?"

The mare smiled at them, walking toward them as if she had nothing on her back. "My name is New Leaf. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tackle you like that. I just can't stand clowns. You're not related to any clowns, are you?"

Spike stepped forward to quickly cover Rainbow's mouth. "Nope, no clowns here. My name's Spike, and these are my non-clown friends Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo."

New Leaf narrowed her eyes at him. "Non-clown friends? Does that mean you have other friends who are clowns? Because I can't in good conscience allow that."   

"We're just looking for our pet owl," Scootaloo said. "Did you see her by any chance?"

"An owl, huh?" New Leaf reached into one of her bags and pulled out a map to give it a quick look. "Is it like a long, wooden boat? Because I saw one of those when I was walking by this big pool of rushing water."

"No," Scootaloo said, pausing to make sure she heard that right. "It's a bird. A small, white bird that flew by here and likes shiny stuff."

New Leaf smiled again. "Oh, yeah, I've seen plenty of those."

"Uh, what do you mean 'plenty'?" Spike asked.

"Why, there's one right now." New Leaf pointed up to the sky at a bird-shaped cloud floating above them. "If you don't mind me saying, you three have a very pretty pet. What's her name?"

"Alright, pal, what are you trying to pull?" Rainbow asked, hovering above her. "I've already been pranked once today, and frankly I'm not in the best mood. I'm not gonna let you pull this kind of junk on me."

"What if I push the junk on you?" New Leaf asked. "Will that make it better?"

Rainbow and the others just stared at her in silence.

"Actually, I could use your help," New Leaf said, a look of fear washing across her face. "Some silvery, beaked creature just swooshed out of the air and attacked me. It was like a clown that took off its makeup and transformed into something else. It was terrifying. All I could do was run."

"Since when do clowns swoosh?" Spike whispered to Scootaloo.

"Since when do they transform?" Scootaloo asked back. Rainbow put her forelegs around both their mouths. 

"We can totally help you with that," she said with a smile. "Why don't you show us where it is?"

"Great. It was over by my campsite." New Leaf reached into one of her side packs and pulled out a compass. "This magic needle points me to my campsite whenever I forget where it is. Let's go!"

"Why would she forget where it is?" Scootaloo asked as New Leaf ran off. "Didn't she just come from there?"

Rainbow reached out and touched her shoulder. "Bear with me, Scoots. This day's gonna be weird." She picked up her wig and put it back on. "Sometimes things just work out better if you accept that."