//------------------------------// // Chapter 9 // Story: Solace in Silence // by Kaldanor //------------------------------// Pinkie let out and inward groan as she was rousted from her nap by the sound of voices coming up the stairs behind her door. She rolled over and pulled the fluffy blue blanket in her hooves closer to her body before she curled up around it and burrowed further under the covers. The tears had dried for now, but she knew that it wouldn't take much for them to start again. It was difficult for her to stop berating herself over what had happened last night. She could have easily just spit it out, but she let herself put it off yet again. Maybe if she had just ponied up and said it, then Silver would still be here instead of the, admittedly soft, blanket with only the faintest hints of Silver's scent left on it. It didn't matter that she was probably just imagining it at this point, the blanket had become associated with the pegasus to her and it was the only thing she had left to cling to besides the note. When the voices kept coming closer, her ears perked up slightly; they twitched a few times as she froze in place and listened to the conversation that was now clearly audible. "I just don't know what to do, Twilight. She refuses to leave her room; she won't even talk to me. Please, just do something." "I can try, Mrs. Cake..." the second voice replied in a soft tone before a set of hooves retreated back down the stairs and was soon no longer audible. Pinkie nuzzled her face into the blanket and then shut her eyes tight as she prepared to ignore what she knew was coming. Try as she might, she couldn't will herself to not hear the gentle tapping of a hoof on her door, but she did keep quiet as she tugged the covers tightly around herself. "Pinkie, I'm coming in," Twilight stated simply followed by the soft shimmer of magic as the door slowly swung inwards. Her eyes watered slightly as she cuddled the precious object and continued to pretend that she wasn't there. The light shimmering noise filled her ears as the blanket that she was hiding under was slowly pulled away. "Pinkie, what happened to your mane..." Twilight asked as she reached out with a hoof to lift a lock of the straight pink hair that was revealed well before Pinkie was. "It's all my fault..." pinkied whimpered from deep under the blankets. "What is your fault, Pinkie?" Twilight asked in a soft voice as Pinkie felt her bed get weighted down beside her. "She's gone, and it's all my fault," Pinkie replied with a quiet sniffle as she tried to keep the tears from starting again, but was only delaying things at this point. "Who is gone? Silver?" Twilight asked insistently and tried to run a hoof against Pinkie's form through the blanket a few times. Pinkie recoiled away from the hoof before crying out louder than she intended. "YES! She's gone..." she trailed off with a quiet sob as the tears started to flow again and she tugged herself deeper under the covers so that her pink mane disappeared from Twilight's sight. "Why would she be gone? You two seemed so happily last night, what happened, Pinkie?" "Because I'm a big dummy!" Pinkie shouted from under the covers while her body started to shake softly from the tears running freely down her cheeks. "You are not a dummy, Pinkie. Silver obviously cares about you, so just tell me what happened, alright?" Twilight insisted and then started soothingly run her hoof across the lump in the blankets. "W-we came back here..." Pinkie started but had to pause as she sniffed several times before continuing, "I was gonna tell her, Twilight. I really wanted to tell her, but my voice stopped working and she was already falling asleep. I was tired too and I nearly fell asleep while trying to tell her. So, I thought it would be okay. I could just tell her in the morning... but I woke up and she was gone. She was just gone, Twi... and it's my fault!" Pinkie slammed a hoof into the mattress in frustration before curling up tighter around the fluffy blue blanket. "Did she leave a note?" Twilight asked simply after a long moment of running her hoof across Pinkie through the blankets. "I-it's on the dresser..." "You should look for her, Pinkie. You can't just stay in here," Twilight insisted with a light nudge towards the pony under the blankets. "What if she doesn't want to see me?" Pinkie asked in a barely audible whisper. "From what I've seen of the two of you, I can't think of an instance in which she would not want to see you, Pinkie," Twilight answered kindly. "Are you sure?" "Do you think that she needs to fix herself? Do you want her to change herself for you?" Twilight asked after glancing back at the note again. "No!" Pinkie yelled back, her face poking out from under the blankets for the first time since the conversation started. The sight of Pinkie's face streaked with tears made Twilight lean back for a second before she went back to lightly running her hoof across her friend's barrel. "I don't care if she can't talk, she doesn't need to change anything..." "Then go tell her that, Pinkie. But you have to get out of bed to do that. There has to be an explanation, but it sounded like she wanted to do something to make herself worthy of being with you. I know that's not what you want, so I'll help you look for her if you want," Twilight offered with a friendly smile. "Okay..." "Then, get up!" Twilight nearly yelled before yanking the blankets down to the bottom of the bed with her magic to reveal the rest of Pinkie as she remained clutching to the fluffy blue blanket. "Come on, Pinkie. We'll go look in town and see if anypony has seen her, okay?" Pinkie mumbled something unintelligible into the blanket as she clutched it for a long moment. Her mane was still resolutely flat when she relinquished her grasp on the blanket to slide herself off the bed. "Okay, so that should just about cover most of the ponies that might have seen her, so now we just need to go around and look for her. Let's check Town Hall first and see if any of the guards saw her!" Twilight exclaimed with a bright smile while she rolled up her checklist with her magic and tucked it into her saddlebag. Twilight prodded her friend with a hoof a couple of times to get the pink pony started walking. They were several houses down the street when Twilight spoke up again. "Cheer up, Pinkie. I'm sure we'll be able to find her." Pinkie trudged her way behind Twilight as they left the library and kept her head tilted slightly downwards. She looked up enough to make sure that she could see where Twilight was leading her, but stubbornly ignored everything else. She wasn't entirely certain if she believed that everything would work itself out, but trusted Twilight enough that she was willing to hold off on vocalizing such thoughts. She also knew that Twilight wouldn't give up on it until they'd walked around town and knocked on some doors. She didn't think they'd actually find Silver if the pegasus didn't want to be found. Pinkie barely paid attention as they strode right into town hall. She was barely alert enough to take notice that Twilight strode right past the receptionist and into Mayor's office. "What can I do for you two?" Mayor asked in a slightly surprised tone when the two of them strode into her office unannounced. She started to speak again but was halted by the seriousness of Pinkie's expression and appearance. A pile of papers slid off the desk unnoticed as she jumped up to her hooves to make sure that Pinkie was alright. 'Hi, Mayor," Twilight said simply in response to the question. "We were wondering if anypony has seen Silver Wings recently?" "I haven't heard any reports about her, so I don't think we arrested her this time. I can check with the guards, though, if you want." "A-arrested?" Twilight demanded and then rounded her gaze to stare at Pinkie in disbelief. "Pinkie didn't tell you? It was all a big misunderstanding. Thanks again for helping us figure that all out by the way, Pinkie. We wouldn't have managed to clear everything up without your help, so let's see if we can find anything on your marefriend, okay?" Mayor asked in a tentative voice as she looked to see if Pinkie gave any reaction to the usage of the word marefriend. Twilight opened her mouth and raised a hoof as if she was about to interrupt but halted when Pinkie gave a sad little nod. Twilight merely looked confused as she followed the other two ponies out of the office while trying rather unsuccessfully to question PInkie nonverbally. Pinkie was having a hard time trying to ignore the regular worried glances that were being sent in her direction by Mayor and Twilight. She wasn't really concerned about them, but she wished that they would focus on what was more important right now. She didn't really think that Silver would be with the guards, but she couldn't really think of anywhere better to look. There were a few places that she hoped Silver wasn't, but that wasn't quite the same thing. She kept her head down and only paid half attention to the conversation going on between Mayor, Twilight and the palomino earth pony sitting behind a desk. She didn't even really need to listen to the words to know that she was right. Just the way their voices were shifting around was enough to tell her that Silver hadn't drawn any attention from the guards. She let out a quiet sigh and turned to make her way out of town hall only to have Twilight rush up behind her while apologizing profusely. "Sorry, Pinkie. We won't give up, though." "Okay, so number seven on the list is Ponyv—" Twilight started to say as she referred to her list, but was interrupted by Pinkie walking past her without saying a word. "Hey! Where are you going?" "To see Nurse Redheart," Pinkie answered quietly. "But that's not until number fourteen!" Twilight yelled to the retreating pony before shoving the list back into her saddlebag. "She said she wanted to fix herself, there's only a few places she could do that," Pinkie said flatly as she kept trudging over towards the small clinic. "Even if she's not there, maybe Nurse Redheart will know where to find her." "Are you sure you don't want to check the Weather Patrol offices? It's next on the list!" Twilight suggested desperately from behind the pink pony. "She wouldn't go there, they told her that she didn't have a place with them. Until she's "fixed herself" there's no point for her to go there, " Pinkie reasoned out as her destination came into sight. "What about the Ponyville Agricultural Musuem?" Twilight suggested desperately as she kept finding herself falling behind Pinkie despite the lack of usual bouncing. That one didn't even garner a response, though, so it was with a defeated sigh that she followed Pinkie into the building. "Okay, just this once Pinkie, but after this we'll go back to the list!" "Hey, Pinkie, what can I do for y—" Nurse Redheart started to ask as she came out from her office and into the waiting room where Pinkie and Twilight were waiting. She stopped suddenly when she got a clearer look at Pinkie's appearance. "Pinkie? What's wrong?" Pinkie let out a quiet sigh, clearly having gotten tired of the same reaction from everypony that they had visited today. "Have you seen Silver?" she asked simply without getting up out of her chair. "Silver? The gray pegasus you've been hanging around with? She hasn't come into the clinic, but we can check with the hospital if you want. Come on," Nurse Redheart responded and, after some polite prodding from Twilight to get Pinkie up out of the chair, led them to the hospital proper. Pinkie looked up from her stupor when Nurse Redheart came walking back out to the waiting room that she had left them in with a serious expression on her face. Pinkie’s heart skipped when she saw the way that the nurse’s eyebrows furrowed as she approached. She turned to Nurse Redheart with a pleading expression, silently asking for her to just dump the news on her. “Good news is that she’s here. The bad news is that she didn't list anyone under who to disclose her information to, so unless you have a solid reason to see her, then I really shouldn’t tell you where. Give me a good reason, Pinkie. Are you two officially involved yet? Can I categorize you as her special somepony?” the nurse asked in a leading tone, only to get a sad little shake of the head in response. “We haven’t made anything official…” Pinkie said sadly and directed her gaze down to her hooves. “Please, Pinkie, I don’t like seeing you like this, just give me a reason to tell you,” Redheart insisted. “She left me a note saying she was going to go off to try and “fix herself…” and I’m worried that she might do something drastic,” Pinkie answered after a long moment. The words gave Redheart enough pause to glance back towards the doorway that she had come from as she was clearly considering if that was enough of a reason. “And she’s trying to do this because of you?” “That’s what she made it sound like in the note… Please, nurse, let me go see her,” Pinkie pleaded as she stared down at her hooves while trying not to cry. “Good enough,” Redheart said with a slight smile. “She’s in room 221, go make sure that everything is alright, Pinkie.” “I’m sure that there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation, Pinkie…” Twilight started to say weakly, but Pinkie ignored her and turned towards the stairs. She hesitated for a moment, her foreleg raised in the air as she kept making motions as if she was going to start walking forward, but was having a hard time of it. Once Twilight walked up beside the pink pony, she was able to start herself in motion, taking the first few steps cautiously like a foal’s first wobbly steps. After the first couple of steps, she seemed to get her momentum back and began to ascend the stairs at a reasonable rate, leaving the surprised unicorn behind for a moment. Pinkie’s eyes swept across the numbers on the walls as she searched frantically for her destination. Several tears splashed from her face down onto her hooves as she walked as she was unable to keep horrible thoughts from racing through her mind. What if, Silver had been horribly injured trying to do whatever it was to try and fix herself. It would be all Pinkie’s fault, and she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to say sorry enough. Finally, she found the room she was seeking and knocked softly on the door a few times after wiping her eyes. She peeked her head through the entrance with a cautious air, not sure what she’d find inside. A tan unicorn in medical scrubs holding a clipboard in his magic as he looked over Silver Wings wasn’t quite what she expected. Neither was the friendly manner in which he smiled at her and motioned for her to come closer. “Oh, hello, it’s good that you’re here Pinkie. We were just about to go over some test results, and given what she’s told us you might be interested to hear them as well if she allows it,” he said calmly. “She what? How? Is she okay?” Pinkie demanded as her eyes started to tear up again. She stepped closer to the side of the bed where she found Silver lying in bed with a hospital gown as she gave a shy smile to Pinkie. The way that Silver’s eyes wavered and kept looking down at her hooves made her seem like a foal that had been caught with her hoof in the cookie jar. “Is it okay if I discuss your results with Pinkie here, Silver?” the nurse asked again in a gentle tone. Silver gave a light little nod as she curled up a little bit on the bed with a frightened expression, trying to reach out to Pinkie for support. Pinkie didn’t hesitate to sit herself down on the edge of the bed and let the gray pegasus wrap her hooves around her barrel. Pinkie reached down and ran a soothing hoof over Silver’s mane. “Why is she even here?” Pinkie asked after a somewhat awkward moment of the nurse trying to pretend that he wasn’t watching the two of them. “Well, I guess I should explain from the start,” the nurse said hesitantly, trying to ignore Pinkie as she leaned down to place a soft kiss on the top of Silver’s head and then whispered into her ear. “Silver tried to check herself into the mental ward. It was somewhat difficult finding out why since she can’t talk, but we did an evaluation and after having her sit down to write out what was wrong, we determined that her concern was most likely physiological. We checked her in here and have been running some tests for most of the day.” “What?” Pinkie asked with a loud gasp as she turned her gaze down to the now extremely guilty looking Silver Wings next to her. The pegasus reached a hoof out and touched it to Pinkie’s mane with a slightly worried expression on her face. The pink hair had developed a few small curls near the tips, but was still resolutely straight and flat looking. Pinkie shook her head at Silver and gestured towards the nurse for him to continue as she scooted a little further onto the bed. “Well, when we determined that she was mute and got her to write out her concerns, she expressed that she wished to find out why she couldn’t talk. Apparently she was worried that it was something mental and not physical since she had never really questioned it. I believe her words were… hang on, I have them here somewhere,” the nurse said as he flipped through the papers on his clipboard and then stopped to read one of them out slowly and clearly. “She hadn’t really questioned her condition much before, but was recently overcome with a strong desire to be able to express herself more clearly.” “Really, Silver? Is that why you ran off this morning? I’m so sorry… I wanted to talk more last night, but I just couldn’t get the words to come out and it seemed like you were ready to sleep,” Pinkie explained as tears started to run down her face. She pressed her face up against Silver’s and nuzzled their faces together for a moment until Silver wriggled her face away and shook her head. Silver looked up at Pinkie with her face crinkled slightly before she nuzzled the tears away from Pinkie’s cheeks with her nose. She then reached up with her forelegs to pull Pinkie down into a warm hug. “But I made you feel that you weren’t good enough and you had to fix yourself… how can you say it’s not my fau—” Pinkie started to ask until Silver pressed a hoof gently against her mouth to stop the apology. She pulled Pinkie back down and nuzzled the earth pony until the nurse cleared his throat awkwardly. “Umm, I have the test results here… Remember?” the nurse finally asked as he turned away from the affectionate display. “The cause is indeed physiological, it seems like Silver Wings’ vocal chords never formed properly when she was a foal. As such, we cannot do anything for her magically. There’s nothing to regenerate since it never existed in a complete state to begin with. The procedures that we do have can be rather dangerous in a fully grown mare, so even if we had something to help her situation it would not be something that we would undertake lightly.” “Were you really ready to go through with something like that, Silver?” Pinkie asked quietly as she started to clutch at the pegasus in return. “Why would you risk something like that? You’re just fine the way you are,” Pinkie said in a shaky voice, her volume pitching up and down uncontrollably as tears started to stream down her face. “I couldn’t possibly bear it if something happened to you, sweetheart…” “Um, I’ll just go get her discharge in order, okay?” the nurse asked awkwardly and let out a quiet sigh when he didn’t even get a response. He walked out of the room with a quiet huff, glad to not have to stay in that situation any longer. Pinkie crawled up onto the bed when Silver shuffled over to make room for her and stopped her nuzzling long enough to plant an affectionate kiss on the pegasus’ lips. When she withdrew moments later, she couldn’t help but giggle quietly as she saw Silver’s eyes still firmly shut from the kiss. Pinkie smiled while she waited for the pegasus to meet her gaze. “Please promise me that you won’t try anything dangerous to try and be able to talk. I don’t think I could handle you getting seriously hurt because of me,” Pinkie pleaded quietly as her hair started to slowly curl up the rest of the way into its normal bouncy shape. She laughed when Silver reached up to pull her down for another kiss after giving a nod in response. Pinkie managed to stifle the giggles that she was releasing into the pegasus’ face long enough to return the kiss. “Silver… about what I wanted to say last night,” Pinkie said quietly as her face hovered inches above Silver’s. “I don’t want to hesitate anymore when ponies ask me about us. I want to be able to smile when ponies assume that we’re dating. I don’t want to worry about where you’re sleeping anymore…” Silver patted the bed next to her and gave Pinkie a happy smile, her own eyes watering slightly before she nodded and snuggled up next to the earth pony. Pinkie beamed a huge smile and her mane and tail immediately sprung the rest of the way back to their usual volume. The bed wasn’t designed to hold two ponies, but with how close Silver had nuzzled up against Pinkie to wrap her hooves around the earth pony, it was just enough to hold them. Silver wriggled away from the grasp a few moments later so that she could press her face into Pinkie’s chest like she loved to do. This time, she turned her head to press her ear against it and listen to the thumping sound coming from her marefriend’s chest. Pinkie giggled quietly at the action, but they soon fell into a comfortable silence as the two of them cuddled on the bed and waited for the nurse to return. When he did, he hesitated in the doorway and stuttered out a few unintelligible words before floating the stack of papers over onto the bedside table. He flushed red as he excused himself and mumbled something about not needing to sign anything. “Thanks!” Pinkie called out after him and then ran a hoof through the purple mane in front of her. They kept lying there for a few minutes before Pinkie was the first one to pull away and thrust herself into a sitting position. She stole a quick kiss from Silver before giggling as she helped the pegasus out of her gown and strode out into the hallway with her. They found Twilight resting against the opposite wall with her head nodding slightly as she hovered right on the edge of sleep. Pinkie reached out and gave Twilight a gentle nudge to gain her friend’s attention before piping up with a bright smile. “Hey Twilight! You’re a good friend, thanks.” Pinkie crouched down and pulled the unicorn into a friendly hug before she trotted back to Silver with a huge smile. “Hey, sweetheart, let’s go home,” Pinkie declared before bouncing off happily. Silver let out a silent giggle and then had to, once again, flutter her wings and swoop forward to catch up with the pink pony. She fell into a canter next to her marefriend and refused to stray more than half a pony’s width apart as they went home.