I’m putting Rainbow Dash ten marks up on ponies to kill first. Now she’s right below Lyra and right above Octavia. No seriously no way I’m ever letting it go after that little stunt she pulled. She’s gunna get hers quicker than the others. Except for the other twenty six above her. The only reason Rainbow is marked so low is because I figured she’d be harder to get my hands on. And the only reason other ponies are marked so high is because they’re more beloved by fans so they die first. But really bronies were so excited to meet all those side ponies only to find out that there weren’t at all like what they fantasized them to be like.
I mean who would have guessed that Lyra wasn’t obsessed with humans and Octavia and Vinyl Scratch aren’t an item. Yeah me neither. Unfortunately a sad reality came to be and the side characters had to meet the needs of the masses of squirming bronies. Time Turner became a time lord and was forever associated with Doctor Who even if he found that show to be silly. Basically all the background ponies changed for some reason. The obvious answer is that if they let down the bronies then we would have a severe backlash but that could never happen. It’s not like bronies are dependent on those things.
Walking through the place I ended up realizing pretty quickly that I was back in Las Pegasus. The whole urban environment gave it away and where else could I end up? It was the closest city after all. Back to the slums of a nice pony neighborhood, where there are no drunks or drug addicts just ponies and humans peacefully living in government housing. I’m back home except I have no idea where I am in the city. If I walk some more I’ll probably find familiar ground.
It had dawned on me that I could potentially visit my old friends down at the garage. Maybe tell the authorities and give them a proper burial so their bodies wouldn’t just rot there. Seems like it would be the right thing to do. But Peter probably told them about the garage and the authorities have probably discovered the bodies and are dusting around for fingerprints. That might be interesting what they find but I’m not too worried. I did clean the place thoroughly while pointlessly waiting for something to happen. But what are they going to do? Send me to Equestria to make me learn a lesson?
I walked some more and found I could see the horizon from where I was. It was getting late out and the sun was just starting to set which turned the sky an orange color. Celestia still sets the sun. In Equestria they still control the weather and things like that but now it’s decided in a council of humans and ponies. I forget why but it has to do with humans knowing what’s better for soil and all this other technological bullshit that spells out ponies are retards for making flash flood conditions to balance out a drought.
The New Equestrian government has an odd setup which is really confusing. If I tried to compare it to anything I could say it’s a republic but there are differences that make it hard to call it anything. First there is the High Council or whatever they call it. Its recipients are the elements of harmony, the three princesses, and all the cast members of the show. Yep all the members who voice acted the characters and wrote the story are leading a nation. When I find out who allowed than there will be consequences. Seriously who puts animators as political leaders? I don’t even think they do most the work considering they’re on TV every other second.
After the council there are other delegations of government. There’s the court system which is composed of humans and ponies. Thought if I recall it’s mostly humans though the higher system that almost mirrors the U.S. Supreme Court is all pony. I wonder why they need courts here. There’s no crime after all.
Finally the last part of the government I know of is the Equestria guard which would be their equivalent to human militaries. It’s lead by a bunch of human generals and some ponies that answer to none other than Shining Armor himself. Before humanity the guard was stuck in the medieval era. When humanity stepped in we modernized the guard. Now the guards traded their armor for Kevlar and their spears for guns. Yeah they armed the ponies with modern weapons. Gave them assault rifles and pistols. Ever see one shoot? Me neither but I heard they can. They still have the golden armor but it’s more of a ceremonial uniform now. I think it was a terrible idea to arm a nation that’s new to the world. Just look at what happened when American helped modernize Japan. I think the ponies will want to use those guns and when they do they won’t be pointing them at other ponies.
As I walked I noticed the sun was getting closer on the horizon. That means it was going to set soon and I would need to find a place to sleep for the night. I would need somewhere from wandering eyes since the Equestrian population doesn’t like the homeless. They would want to take me to a homeless shelter probably or deport me. They just want to keep this place so illustrious for bragging rights.
I soon found an overhang underneath a highway and settled on my back looking up at the bottom of the overhang. It would be perfect for tonight. Highways in Equestria are rather new editions but we made them pretty quickly in the years of our first contact. Although not many people use them it will serve its dual purpose as my shelter. Might be a little cold but I’ll survive.
I remember driving past overhangs and looking at the huge communities of homeless underneath them. In Equestria it’s just me. The traffic overhead won’t be a problem because conveniently there aren’t many cars in Equestria since only humans drive and the traffic dies out around nighttime. It’ll get loud in the morning which is perfect because that’ll be my alarm clock. Then tomorrow I’ll set off to go somewhere.
For now I’m just gunna kick it under here until I fall asleep or get bored. Maybe I’ll reminisce of days past and the good ole days. But those days sucked because I was either being shunned at my school or travelling the American Midwest alone. I could always think about how terrible the world is but if I do then I’ll never get any rest.
Oddly enough even though I haven’t really eaten I’m not hungry at all. Then again I’m usually never hungry; another one of my bad habits. Eating to me became more of a duty I had to fulfill then a necessity after a while. Eventually I knew I had to eat three times a day but that number had dropped from two then to one as I began to have trouble getting money. Some days all I would eat would be a bag of cookies midday and go to sleep hungry.
But even though I never seem to eat I’m not skinny. I used to be back in high school but towards the end I started to bulk up. Now I’m almost medium build but not noticeably puny. My parents were amazed at the change for some reason. When I ran away I began to get bigger for some reason. I once considered why and in doing so I remembered something I had heard on a video.
Some people theorize that the reason some people such as prison inmates are so strong yet they barely exercise is because the body has a passive instinctual response to get bigger to defend itself. It all is just a matter of survival, the bigger you are the more you are a threat to others. On one of my late night rides it came to me that my increase in size was due to being on my own making me tougher. Those years of being alone had made me stronger because it was just me against the world and my body knew I had to get to get stronger. But now that I think about it, if I became stronger then why couldn’t I beat Rainbow Dash. I mean humans are stronger than ponies, it’s been proven. But I’m obviously so out of shape that I’m weaker than one.
I shot up into a sitting position. “That’s it!” I stood up with a lot of energy.
“I’m terrible out of shape and that’s why I can’t do anything. I mean I haven’t eaten all that much and to top it off, all I’ve been doing for a year was sit around and get lazy.” I began to pace.
“I mean just because I’ve gotten bigger doesn’t mean I’ve gotten stronger. I need to train myself. Rainbow Dash is an athlete and faster than any normal human or pony. Other than her speed she’s got nothing. If I was actually trying then I would have whooped her ass into next fucking week. That little bitch would have been on the ground with a black eye and a chipped tooth. Fuck it I need to get active again. I mean look.” I got on the ground and started doing push-ups. I did about ten before I stopped.
“See I should be doing much more. I was training to be a marine. I could’ve done push-ups all day in high school. Besides there’s always tomorrow. Yeah tomorrow there’s no stopping me. I can do what I want. I’m, I’m a fucking Anti Brony. The one and only. Fuck Rainbow Dash, fuck bronies, fuck every pony, fuck Lauren, fuck brony celebs, fuck the writers, fuck the songs, fuck everything because I don’t give two shits! One day I’m going to show those fucktards that my way of thinking if fucking right. Humans and ponies living together my ass! I’m gunna make sure we never get along. Anarchist for life! Fuck Zayn I’m my own definition of anarchy! I’m.”
My conversation with myself was suddenly cut short.
“Scott?” I heard a male’s voice to my right. I stiffened as I heard footsteps coming towards me. Someone was coming under the overhang with me from above. And he used my name. My real name. Not Jim, not Andy, but Scott. I gave up that name when I ran away who could it be?
As the person got closer I could see who it us and I cringed.
“Scott.” The person said now being able to see my face.
“Lewis?” I said not really believing he was here. Him out of all people. Lewis was one of the friends I had before my little incident. He was one of my better friends and that’s why his betrayal was one of the harder ones to cope with. Actually now that I think about it he wasn’t really a good friend meaning he did some things to me that really pissed me off but I let them slide because I’m nice like that.
Actually he was one of the first ones to actually attack me for my hostility to the show back then. But it wasn’t always that way. In fact me and him shared the same frustration and hate for bronies. Yep we would be constantly telling others to shut up around the lunch table and that if they wanted to discussion their obsession with cartoon horses we wouldn’t make it pleasant for them. Things were pretty good and for some reason people respected his opinion and wishes for no more MLP while they kind of disregarded me and just chose to treat me as some ignorant aggressive asshole with no common sense.
However nothing good could stay and things changed. See Lewis had a moment of weakness and he watched the show. Now I had been watching the show before all my group of friends so my opinion about the show was well formulated and my own. But I never told anyone this and in doing so it hurt my argument. They even said that if I watched the first episode I could talk all the shit I wanted but I stubbornly denied it. Why? Because bronies think that people should try to walk in their shoes, which is understandable but if the shoe doesn’t fit then they freak out. As in my case.
Anyways so Lewis watched the show and he enjoyed it. Which I can almost understand because I watched it and I used to enjoy it until my friends ruined it for me. But Lewis enjoyed it a lot. In fact he started to really get into the show. Remember the friend that really enjoyed Discord? Yeah that’s Lewis. Lewis began to like the show so he stopped criticizing our brony friends which was fine since he would’ve looked like a hypocrite. Although at the time I didn’t understand and got angry with him. But after my initial angry died down I felt something else. The feeling of betrayal.
It was bad enough that he wouldn’t be supporting me in my “crusade” against brony conversations. But the thing that really irked me was he became one. He became one of them bronies and then he joined the assault on my sanity and he became the most brutal of all of them. Imagine if someone who was always there for you suddenly held you down and let everyone beat on you. That’s what Lewis did. And it tortured me inside.
He completely forgot the words he had said and the feelings he felt. Instead he acted like he was a brony the whole time and all those hate filled venomous words he spewed forth were forgot by both my brony friends and him. Bronies like to forgive and forget and so Lewis became like them and he did things that made the other bronies’ acts look like playground bullying.
He went behind my back and told people things that put me in bad light. Because he was one of my non brony friends, I felt I could trust him and kind of bond with him. Well I wound up regretting that but looking on the bright side I learned to never open up to anyone ever. I learned that if I keep myself closed up then nobody can hurt me again. Simple logic.
Anyways after a while the tormenting stopped because they got bored of bringing up ponies with me. So I hung out with them again but I was still conscious of the words we exchanged even if they chose to ignore them like they never happened. And things went well up until the ponies became real and the tormenting started again. Then then pushed me past my breaking point and I assaulted one of my “dear” friends. Lewis wasn’t the one to get his face ripped off but he watched. Then after that I was alone. I could tell my friends felt sorry for me but they weren’t sorry enough to apologize. I mean I wouldn’t expect little back stabbing pussies to take the high road.
I haven’t realized how long we’ve been staring at each other.
“Scott!” Lewis called. “Snap out of it man you’ve been staring at me and it’s getting weird.” I shook my head and stared at him again. My Uzi was just a couple steps away. Revenge time?
“Man if you were talking to yourself. Then don’t worry I heard nothing. I know you have a habit of doing that.” Okay revenge time. I hate it when people bring up my bad habits. I took two steps towards the jumpsuit when it hit me. I don’t need to be a douche and kill him. Just because he hurt me doesn’t mean I have to hurt him. Logic if someone is bad to you then you don’t have to be bad to him. Besides his brief anti brony opinion still counts for something. At least to me.
But still I really don’t want to talk to him. He was a dick to me but a lot of people were dicks to me. So I’ll make up some excuse to get him off my back.
“I think you got the wrong person. I’m Jim, er I mean Andy.” I finally said. Lewis smirked and laughed.
“Oh please I know it’s you Scott Douglas.” Well fuck now I have to stick around which sucks because this is someone who knows my real name. I gave up my real name when I ran away. At the time I did it so I wouldn’t be tracked by my family if they were after me. I guess it worked.
“Alright fine it’s me. What’re you doing in Equestria; Lewis?” Lewis still smiling took a few steps over my way.
“I ought to ask you the same question.” Lewis said holding out his hand. I didn’t want to but my courteousness got the better of me. As our hands touched I realized that things weren’t that much different with Lewis. We did dabs for some fucking reason. Probably because we’re clearly so hood. But that’s the type of things kids do. Not just kids but friends. But I thought I had no friends?
“Well I just you know. Wanted to see the whole world and all.” I came up with an excuse.
“Ah liar.” Lewis pointed. “You fucking hate ponies.” Hate? “In fact you always hated ponies.” He knows me so well. “So my question is what changed? Because I never thought one of my best friends whom I haven’t seen in years would be here. No really though it’s good to see you.”
I’m his best friend?