Disclaimer: I do not own Hasbro, My Little Pony or any characters, places, or events in the extended cannon, although it would be awesome if I did.
Recurring Memories Chapter Five:
Shrinking Problem
My daughter and I sat in a dark park, waiting for Rainbow to return or for Luna to arrive. Neither happened. We constantly looked towards Canterlot, awaiting the chariot or carriage that would announce the arrival of my help. It never came. After half an hour, one of us lost patience.
It would surprise you who.
“She should be back already,” Star muttered as she paced a line into the grass. I sat calmly—relatively—on the bench nearby. I was finally out of panic mode, and had resigned myself to my fate. I fully expected to be killed for what I did, and I knew I deserved it.
”You don’t think that there’s an issue, do you?” I asked.
“How can you be so calm right now?” she asked me, stopping her pacing and facing me. “You are about to face the Princess as Equestria’s only serial killer ever and you’re calmer than you were an hour ago.”
”Because I know I deserve whatever I get,” I said. ”Back to Rainbow, you think there might have been an issue at the library? Maybe Spike is sick, or Twilight went on a spontaneous trip to see Luna and took him with her.”
Star shook her head. “Rainbow would have come back and told us. I don’t know what’s holding that mare.”
We waited for another ten or so minutes before Star finally lost her patience. “We’re heading to the river by the statues and washing you off,” she declared. “Then, while you aren’t coated in blood, we’re going to the library.”
I looked at myself. Only my hooves were coated, the rest of me was speckled. There’s a difference. I sighed as my daughter shot me a look. She knew exactly what I was thinking. I followed her closely as we walked through the forest and constantly thought happy thoughts. Bunnies and mice and butterflies and bears eating them a—Bunnies and mice and butterflies. Bunnies and mice and butterflies.
That might not seem like much to you, but to me, it was a start.
I had a small smile on my face as we reached the water. I got in and started scrubbing without needing to be told. I was a grown stallion, damn it—dang it. Dang it. Damn is a bad word now. I can’t slip already.
It took me less than two minutes to be free of blood. I didn’t waste any time, not with Star as impatient as she was. She learned more than a little from me, it seems. The two of us walked through Ponyville after sundown, letting me air dry. We didn’t run into anyone as we traveled, reaching the library after passing through an eerie silence. The library was the exact opposite of the town, however.
“—don’t know who you think you are, but Spike isn’t your personal mail service!” Twilight was yelling. The dragon in question was sitting outside, covering his ears and leaning against the wall next to the door. I felt my eyebrow raise.
“I told you,” my marefriend yelled right back, “this isn’t for me! It’s for Streak!”
“And you won’t tell me what you need this letter for!” Twilight argued. The duo faded to background noise as Spike noticed Star and me and ran up.
“You guys are here because Rainbow was supposed to send that letter an hour ago, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Has this been going on for the whole hour?” Star asked, cocking an eyebrow.
The dragon nodded. “Twi is convinced that Rainbow isn’t sending the letter for you,” he said. “She thinks that your marefriend is doing it for herself.”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose with a hoof. ”Twilight,” I groaned.
“But an hour?” Star asked. “I can understand, like, five minutes, maybe even twenty, but an hour?”
“It goes off to different topics once in a while,” Spike said. “Then it comes right back to the letter. It seems important, since Rainbow hasn’t dropped it for an hour.”
“It is,” Star said. She eyed the door. “I’m going in there. You two come with me.”
Spike looked at me, minor surprise written on his face that Star was taking the lead here. I nodded at him and followed my daughter, who at that point had started walking inside. The arguing mares didn’t even see the three of us as we stood five feet away from them. Star cleared her throat. When that didn’t get their attention, she opted for a more direct route. “Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, shut up!”
The shocked mares immediately stopped talking, jaws dropping as their attention turned to Star. Spike sighed in relief at the silence. “Thank you,” my daughter said. “Now, Spike. Take a letter.”
The dragon dutifully grabbed paper and a quill. When he was properly supplied he sat ready to write the letter he had been waiting to write for an hour.
“Thank you,” she said. She cleared her throat. “Dear Princess Luna.
“I come to you with a request for your immediate presence in Ponyville. Events of note have happened that require your presence.”
“Very specific,” Twilight said sarcastically.
“We’re being vague on purpose,” Rainbow said with a glare. “The fewer people that know what we need her for, the better.”
“Oh, and I’m not one of the ones that needs to know?” Twilight asked, turning to face my marefriend. This was about to restart the argument.
”No,” I said. Twilight gaped at me in surprise. ”Nothing against you, but you don’t need to know.”
Twilight harumphed, looking away from us. Star was looking over at us. “Can I finish?” she asked. When none of us indicated a wish for her to do otherwise, she continued. "This is to be of the highest priority. No disrespect intended, but this is a drop everything and come now notice.
"Also, this letter was supposed to reach you an hour ago, but Twilight decided to be difficult. If you could get here an hour ago, it would be appreciated.
"A worried daughter,
"Star."
"Now wait a second," Twilight exclaimed. "I was not being—"
"Dah-ter," Spike said as he finished, "Star. Good to go!"
"Spike, don't you dare—" Twilight started. She was interrupted by a puff of green fire. The letter incinerated, and the smoky remnants floated out the window. "Why did you send that?"
"Because that's what Star wanted on her letter," he said with a shrug. "I'm not going to change the content of a letter because I don't like what it says, and you shouldn't either."
Twilight groaned in exasperation. "She was being rude to the Princess, Spike, she isn't supp—"
There was a flash, and a voice rang out through the library. "I came as soon as I got your letter," Luna said. "What was so important that it required you to interrupt Night Court?"
"I need your help," I said.
"I am to assume that this cannot wait?" the Princess asked.
"No," Star said. "It also cannot be discussed around those two." She indicated Twilight and Spike.
Luna nodded. "Shall we return to your house, then? We could have privacy there."
"If you don't mind that it's messy," Rainbow said.
—*~*~*—
"When you said 'messy', I didn't picture this," the lunar monarch said. We were standing in the living room of my house, and everything was trashed. The couch was upside down, the lamp was broken and over in the corner. And over there. And over there. And–actually, it was pretty much everywhere. The wood for the fireplace was around the room in various places, and I’m pretty sure at least one log went through the now-broken window. There was also a loveseat in the doorway that we had to move to enter. "What happened? Is this why you need me?"
"Part of it," Rainbow said. "Streak threw a temper tantrum."
"I would describe it as a 'complete meltdown', myself," I said.
"Make some sense," Luna demanded. "Why does any of this require my immediate presence?"
"Dad is a serial killer," Star said.
Luna was silent, looking down in thought. I couldn't see her face—hiding behind her mane as it was—but I could almost feel her conflict. Eventually she looked up at us with sad eyes. "What do you want me to do?" she asked. "What can I do?"
"You can kill me," I said. "Gods know I have wanted to for the past eight months."
"What?" Rainbow exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"We aren't killing you," Luna interrupted. "We gave Celestia a second chance, so we owe you one as well."
"More than I deserve," I said.
"But less than we owe you," Luna said. "If it weren't for you, Celestia would be in power or the griffons would have attacked. The least we can do is wipe your slate clean."
"That's the least of what he needs," Star said. "He is seriously sick. His mental state has been deteriorating since he started killing, and he said that if he doesn't kill, it hurts him."
Luna looked over at me, and I nodded. "It was never the killing that did anything for me. I have to make something else hurt, or I do instead."
"Which is why the killings were so brutal," Luna reasoned. "It was about the torture, not the killing." I nodded. She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I have a psychiatrist that specialises in guards that are forced to kill on the job. This is usually animals," she cautioned, "so it won't be perfect. That's the best I can do for you."
"I think that a shrink would be more than good,” Rainbow said. “If we include Star and me, we’ll get him better in no time.”
—*~*~*—
I was sitting in a room. It was a simple room, mind you. It was more of an office, to be honest, You want me to go on, don’t you? Okay. It was about ten feet square, and bland. The room had a desk and four chairs—three on my side, one on the other. White walls, oak trim, I think the desk was oak as well, but I’m not a woodsy kind of guy. We were on the side with three chairs. Star was seated on a chair to my left, and Rainbow to my right. Across the desk from us was a pony as bland as the room around us with some papers in front of him. He was beige, with a brown mane. And I thought my coloration was boring before I changed.
“So,” he said, “my name is Mind Mender. I already know your names, but why don’t you introduce yourselves anyway?”
Star spoke up, “I assume you were also informed why we are here?”
“Of course,” he said. “The Princess filled me in with as much information as she felt I needed.”
That seemed to placate her. “My name is Star, and I’m his daughter.”
The shrink nodded, looking at Rainbow. “Name’s Rainbow Dash,” she said. “I’m his marefriend, the Element of Loyalty, and apparently the duchess of Everfree.” I cocked an eyebrow at her, and she shrugged. “Luna came up to me literally yesterday and handed me the deed to the whole forest. Makes it our jurisdiction, I think.”
Smart mare. Every single one of my crimes was committed in or around the Everfree. I noticed the shrink looking at me, breaking me out of my musing. It wasn’t an expectant look, though. It managed to just be a look, with no motives hidden behind his eyes. Maybe I could pry them out and check, just in case.
“Streak,” Rainbow cautioned. “You’ve got the face again.”
I shook my head. Bad thoughts. Bad, bad thoughts. I cleared my throat. ”My name is Streak.” That was it. Nothing fancy, no titles, no nothing. Just a name.
Mind nodded. “Now when you said ‘the face’, Miss Dash, I assume he’s made it before?”
“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “It’s the ‘thinking about hurting something’ face, I think.”
Mind nodded slowly, turning to face me again. “What were you thinking right before Miss Dash interrupted your thoughts?”
”That I couldn’t see any motives hidden in your eyes,” I said.
“And that’s a bad thing?” he asked. “I’m not saying it is or isn’t, but do you think that a stallion with no hidden motives is a bad thing?”
”Yes,” I said.
“Why?” he asked. I knew already that I was going to hate that word by the end of our sessions, if they ended.
”It means they hide them really well,” I said. ”It means that they can be trusted less than a stallion that writes murder in his eyes every time the thought comes to his head. I am predictable, you are an unknown.”
“Okay,” he said, scratching down some notes on a piece of paper. “What exactly were you thinking about. More specific than the lack of hidden motivation.”
”That I should rip out your eyes,” I replied calmly. I saw a flash of worry break through his facade of calm already. He quickly wrestled his countenance back into position, again assuming a slightly positive facial expression. This was going to be interesting.
“Why?” he asked, writing a few more notes.
”So that I knew you weren’t hiding anything behind them,” I replied. It was fairly obvious. Why else would I?
He hummed thoughtfully before asking, “What do you want to do with your life, Streak?”
I paused, mouth open. What did I want with my life? ”Well, I want to make sure that Star is happy,” I started. ”After that, I want Rainbow to have whatever her heart desires. Then, I want to brutally torture and murder ponies. That’s kind of why I’m here.”
“Not what do you feel the urge to do,” Mind said calmly. “What I asked is what do you want to do? Do you want to be an author? A royal guard? A blue-blooded noble?”
“I want to protect,” I said. ”I want to protect more than anything. That’s why I directed my crimes towards victims that were going to hurt someone.”
“I have a colleague in the Empire,” Mind said, “who says that a killer with a conscience is a rare gift and is something to be treasured. Not left to their own devices, but not scorned. That applies to you.” He looked me nose to tail—as best as he could with the desk in the way, at least. “Where do you want to be, mentally, in five years?”
“I don’t want the urges,” I said. ”I also want to be a better pony in general. A pony worthy of having Rainbow.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Rainbow asked.
”I am a vulgar, perverted murderer, Rainbow,” I said. Star gave me a look for stealing her description of me. ”I’m not winning any awards any time soon.”
“Ah, but you’re my vulgar, perverted murderer,” she said, nuzzling me.
”That’s why I’m fixing myself,” I said. ”You deserve better than me, and I’m too selfish to give you to another.”
The shrink gently interjected himself into the conversation. "Do you care more for these two than yourself?"
"Besides the fact that he asked Luna to kill him and said he's been suicidal for the past eight months?" Rainbow asked sarcasticly.
He blinked. "Why?" he asked, turning to me. This was getting frustrating, I had to admit.
"I kill people. Is that the kind of pony that deserves to live?" I asked.
"No," he replied, to the shock of the mares. "That's why we're changing you. We're fixing you. Turning you into a stallion worthy of the second chance you've been given."
"I don't care about being worthy of that," I said. "I want to be worthy of being Star's father and Rainbow's coltfriend. That's all.
Mind nodded. "I understand where you're coming from. I'll do my best to make you better."
"I hope so," Rainbow said. "If you don't give it your all, we'll have problems."
“I want him better as much as you do, Miss Dash,” Mind said. “He saved the entire country at least twice. That is a debt I am eager to begin to repay.” He turned to me. “I have what I need for now. Come back at the same time next week, and we’ll continue.”