Sharp stood outside the doorway to the room, scratching his head with a hoof at the sudden exit of Princess Luna with one of his companions carried on her back. "Bloody Tartarus." he murmured to Shining. "I'll never understand women. Know what I mean?" The white unicorn nodded in response, picking up his spear and preparing to follow, before there was a sudden tap on his shoulder. He turned his head with one eyebrow cocked in confusion, only to see a less than impressed Princess Cadence looking back into his eyes. He emitted a small panicked cry, and scrambled to salute.
"M-Ma'am!" he stuttered quickly. Cadence just rolled her eyes.
"At ease." she sighed. "Follow me, Shiny." The unicorn dropped his salute in confusion, looking at Sharp as the pink alicorn trotted away down the corridor with a calm yet threatening demeanour. "Go on, mate," the red earth pony ushered. "Princess' orders an' all, eh?" Shining looked worriedly at his companion, before swallowing hard and going at a gallop to catch up to Cadence. He trotted beside her, attempting to look as professional as she did when she moved down the grand halls of marble, but failed as he stumbled whilst trying to keep up with her pace. The mare giggled at his antics, and kept the small smile as the two finally reached her chambers. Both guards either side gave confused salutes, keeping their eyes on Corporal Shining Armor as he cautiously followed the pink alicorn of love into her chambers. He was getting mixed signals from her: Either he was in trouble, being replaced, being fired, or she was going to ravage him.
He hoped for the last one: All the years he'd known her, he still thought she was hot. "Shining, I know this is sudden," Cadence began with a sigh as she shut the large doors to her room. "But there's been an argument between we Princesses. I...can't exactly remember what it was about, but I was referred to as a 'succubus' by Luna, and I'm actually quite offended. I don't know WHAT it means, but I'm certain it's...like, an old insult or something. Anyway, that's why I need YOU to act as my personal bodyguard from now." Shining blinked, and responded in the only way he knew how to talk to women.
"Permission to speak as a friend, ma'am?" he asked formally. He mentally face-hoofed. Way to go, Captain Smooth. You'll be talking your way to her ass in no time. Cadence was taken aback, but cleared her head of the thoughts and nodded.
"A-Ah, yes, certainly." she replied quickly.
"Well, I was going to say that I don't exactly know why you'd want me to act as your bodyguard?"
"Well," Cadence began, moving over to a shelf to find a dictionary. "You're one of my most trusted stallions I know in the Royal Guards. Those two other stallions you had with you when the argument broke out were included, but now I can only trust members of my own guard. The other two could have spread horrible rumours about my intentions to my own regiments by now, meaning that the only stallion I had to hoof at the time could be trusted, seeing as how you likely didn't hear the argument." Shining thought about this.
"So what exactly does working as your bodyguard entail me doing?" he asked, watching Cadence pulling a cute expression at the words she was finding whilst wearing reading glasses. She raised a hoof to reply, but then found the word 'Succubus' and its definition.
"Oh." she blushed. "Apparently, a Succubus is a demon from Tartarus that seduces men with her striking sexual appeal, and charm, before feeding on their love and usually leaving them enslaved." She stared at this for a few seconds more, before chuckling. "Heh. You hear that?" she smiled at Shining. "I'm sexy." Shining blushed and coughed.
"Umm...I don't know what I'm meant to say there." he muttered.
"You say 'I agree, mistress, you're sexually appealing, mistress, let me massage your perfect flanks, mistress.'" Cadence said, wiggling her rear end playfully near his face, causing him to try and avert his eyes. "And yes, I'm joking." Shining released a breath he had no idea he had been holding. "But anyway, the purpose of working as a bodyguard mainly means you carry out personal errands, deliver messages and packages, and protect me for as long as you're on a shift." she explained. "That means you'll have the night-shift as well, and watch over me as I sleep." A small part of Shining felt very excited at that last part. "So, do you accept?" The white unicorn had to stop and think for a moment.
If he accepted this job, he'd get to be with somepony he'd admired secretly for years, all day sometimes, and slowly charm her. Yeah. This'd be easy. "Alright," he nodded, "I accept." He did not expect Cadence to lunge forward and give him a crushing hug.
"Yay!" she squee'd, "I knew I could count on you! You'll receive the latest equipment, and we'll be able to have lunch together like we used to at school, since I can't exactly be on my own from now on. This is gonna be so great!" Shining noticed that Cadence seemed more adorable now he was up close to her. She smelt strange; it made him feel as though she was the only mare in Equestria...no. That was just her natural musk. Strangely love-inducing. It seemed the Princesses carried a musk that had effects related to their duties. If Star Flare had been given this same offer by Princess Luna, he'd have to ask what it did to him.
Shining could only wonder what Sharp Eyes was doing at that moment.
Sharp Eyes idly rocked back and forth on his hooves, calmly humming 'The Jarrow-wing Crusade' song to himself as Celestia sat in the room he had been guarding, thinking about the argument most likely. Sharp did not care; the red earth-stallion was paid to do his job, but he felt as though there was nothing stopping him dropping his professional façade when out of the public eye, going down to the castle bar, and meeting up with the lads. He didn't go down to places like that to get laid: he wasn't interested in a relationship of any kind, so getting lucky once was NOT a gamble he wanted to take.
A family life wasn't something he wanted to live, he only wanted to live the life of a Bushcolt, like his granddad was. Except instead of the old fashioned pull wagon, he'd save up for a new Automatic Camping Vehicle and an enchantment meaning he wouldn't have to keep paying for oil, and then he'd go and live life on the open road, adventures at every turn! Exotic fruits, exciting places, and mares he could sleep with and then leave in the night to go find a new place to adventure in. His ideal life was one his granddad lived, and died living. Suddenly, Sharp's daydreaming was cut short by a bright yellow flash.
Dazed, Sharp began confusedly reaching for his spear whilst blinded by the bright gold light, but finally stopped when the light stopped. He felt the blasting heat of a desert bearing down on him from some unknown source, but he knew he was definitely inside. Around him were ornate wooden walls, sparsely positioned windows with curtains pulled, and a locked door to a balcony. Lying in front of him on a sofa, however, was Princess Celestia, seeming annoyed by something. Sharp knew it was about the argument, but if Celestia teleports him into a locked room where she's lying down in a 'draw me like one of your Prench mares' position, he had no idea where it was leading. He still had his new pilot shades, so that was something.
"Corporal Sharp Eyes," Celestia began, "You are aware of the argument between my sister, my nice, and myself?"
"Yeah." Sharp replied bluntly, a bored expression on his face. He was never one for ranks. Celestia rolled her eyes.
"Not one for chit-chat, I see, so I'll get straight to the point: I called you in here to ask if you wished for a promotion to my Royal Bodyguard." Celestia said. "My reasoning for this is-"
"OK, Shiela." nodded the stallion. Celestia rolled her eyes again.
"Now, I suppose you will have an excuse to speak as freely as you do," she began, "As a Royal Bodyguard, you will be my first, second, third, all the way to my last line of defence. You will be watching over me for the whole day, performing errands for me, and guarding my chambers as I sleep."
"Sounds good, Miss." he replied. Finally, Celestia stood.
"Corporal Sharp Eyes, I, Princess Celestia, promote thee to the rank of Royal Bodyguard. As initiation, close contact is required. Are you comfortable with this?" asked the white goddess. Sharp raised a hoof to shake.
"Yeah, I'm fine with it, Princess. We shake 'ooves, yeah?" he asked. To his surprise, Celestia leaned forward to embrace him, causing the Austallion to recoil. "Woah, woah! I'm fine with a simple 'oof shake, yeah? I don't much go fer hugs, sorry. Awright?" Celestia stopped, sighed, and smiled, extending a hoof to shake with the stallion.
"I suppose you will be more interesting than all the other 'Prince Charmings' I've had for bodyguards in the past." she chuckled. "Now, are you ready for your first job?" Sharp nodded, bouncing up and down on his hooves in idleness. "You need to go down to Francinni's café and buy lunch."
Sharp nodded again, and began to trot casually out of the room. Not one raised brow, not a single 'uhhh', and not one consideration for the fact that the door was locked. The red stallion ploughed into the oak doors, stunning himself slightly, causing Celestia to chuckle. She ignited her horn, grabbed the key, and unlocked the door, pushing it open. "If you are quite done, I'd like a blueberry muffin. Here." A bag of coins suddenly appeared on Sharp's head. "Enough there to pay for the most expensive item on his menu about 19 times. Also enough to buy yourself some lunch, too." The stallion, as usual, raised a hoof in response.
"Thanks, Shiela." he smiled, before leaving her sight. This left her with a bemused grin at the eccentric character she had entrusted her life into the hooves of.