After all I've put them through, after all the times I've shouted at her to leave me alone, why won't she give up?
For all my cunning, my tale spinning, and the amounts of ways my magic could embarrass her (and has done so a number of times already) she won't just pry herself off me!
What is it that makes her tick? Why of all ponies would she choose me to torment endlessly, for all of a whole two days? What can I do to shake her obnoxious flanks off my back?
"Why won't you just stop with these tricks to... to catch me off guard and dethrone me and just leave? Leave! Go back to your Sugarlump Corner where you belong and just leave the Great and Powerful Trixie alone! ALONE I say!"
She just stares at me, with those infuriating, oblivious blue eyes, like she's not even reading the rage I'm wearing as I snort in her direction, in angered, quick breaths.
"But you know I promised, Trixie, I wouldn't leave you alone for this week, no matter what it takes! And I'm going to make good on it, or my middle name isn't Diane Pie! Wait, it's just Diane actually, but still!" She stomps a hoof to the ground in emphasis.
"And just why did you make such a stupid promise?" I swear, the more I try to remember it, the more I feel an headache closing in. And I don't even know if it's because of how utterly idiotic the reason were, or if it's because of all of her impossible weirdness that surrounded the event.
She giggles. She actually has the face to giggle at me. "Because you needed it, silly! If one thing is my responsibility, it's making sure that everypony, and I mean EVERYpony in Ponyville is happy and smiling and content with what they're living through! And it's not something I will look over just because you happen to be a passing magician!"
So yeah, that was the reason for the headache. I groan as my reply struggles to assemble itself in my head. "How do you even PRETEND to know what makes Trixie happy, much less forcing that on her? I am a stage magician, for Celesia's sake! And my cart, my whole life's worth of earnings and future shows, has been smashed by a giant beast that threatened to eat ME! And that you stupid Ponyvillians are still PUTTING ME AT FAULT for that! I have every right to be depressed, and I will do so REGARDLESS of your futile attempts to do otherwise!"
"Hey, we aren't blaming you for that, hmm okay maybe the Flower sisiters are, but hey weren't even there at the show! They just assumed it was you!"
"Which makes it even MORE of a stupid country doohickery on your part!" I'm shaking with barely contained anger, and I'm starting to feel my blood rush around my body, giving me an alien tingling all over. And why is she starting to look blurry?
"You gotta forgive em, they aren't really the mares to give a clear report on panic-related issues. For that there's always Twilight! And me! Oh by the way, Twilight thinks you're totally innocent too!"
"YES! I know that!"
"And we could always help you rebuild your carriage, you know, you could just ask. There's four ponies in Ponyville who live by just by rebuilding after each disaster. And they make cheap prices too! Or, you could always make another show to pay-"
OK, that was absolutely idiotic even for her standards. "You insensate foal! What makes you think that the farmers here would want to see a repeat of last time's disaster?"
"Well, because it wasn't a disaster, duh!" She even stuck out her tongue at that. "We were all enjoying it, many were still laughing when you started making fun of my friends. But you could make a better show, without insults! And with cake batter! Everything's better with cake batter! Oh, and do you think you could work your streamers in?"
The absolute last straw. "WHY, WHY, WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO IMPORTUNE TRIXIE?" I repeated, pounding both my hooves on the cobbles in rage and impotence. I would have blasted her to the moon and beyond a thousand times already by now if I didn't know already that my magic was wasted more often than not on this mare... abomination...thing.
She looked at me with the most compassionate eyes. "Even if you think that you don't want friends, or don't deserve thew, every one needs a ray of sunshine in their life. And I'll be here all week to show you yours!" She finished on an infuriatingly chipper note.
I sighed, long and hard. There was no way I was getting this mare off me. Well, at least I could always try tomorrow. After a good night's sleep. At her house. Again.
Whatever. Let's just get this over with.