Spike trudged into his treelike abode, worn out in body and spirit from the long day he had gone through. On top of his usual daily chores, he had also been helping Rarity out like he often does, except that this time, she had wanted him to model some dresses for fillies (the Cutie Mark Crusaders weren’t available because, according to Sweetie Belle, their future cutie marks were calling far away from her boutique). He was happy to help Rarity out, but he felt silly wearing dresses, especially the short ones that were designed to accentuate flanks he didn’t have. At least the longer ones made it easier to hide when his crotch got itchy and he had to scratch it. Rarity wouldn’t exactly find that classy, at least not until he was older.
Things really went south when a hydra starting rampaging the town. As it passed by Rarity’s boutique, Spike went out to try and reason with the hydra, but that didn’t go anywhere, because apparently just because dragons and hydras both had a “dra” in their names doesn’t mean that they get along. Also, it left a big pile of hydra dung next to the boutique, which ended up cutting negotiations short, especially for Rarity, who became vividly livid and swore she would turn the foul brute into a cutting-edge clothing line. Sadly for Rarity and the fashion world, Fluttershy came along at that moment to calm everyone down, and when that didn’t work, Twilight used a new tranquilizing spell she had learned to end the hydra menace. Rarity ended up needing the spell too, for obvious reasons.
And then came the lowest part of the whole experience: cleaning up all the hydra dung by himself. He probably could had gotten others to help him out (assuming there were ponies in Ponyville who couldn’t smell), but he had valiantly offered to do it all himself for the sake of his beloved, who was unfortunately too dazed by Twilight’s magic to really notice. The things he does for love! It was the grossest and smelliest evening of his life, and not the good kind of smelly like his feet usually were. By the time he had finally cleaned up all, the sun had fallen and bruised its heinie, and the spas were closed so he couldn’t even get the royal dragon’s treatment and become the limber, peppermint-scented heartbreaker that could have surely wooed his beloved Rarity if given the chance. Alas, he had to settle for washing himself off in a nearby pond, accidentally almost swallowing a leech and getting it stuck in his uvula in the process. How do these things keep happening to me?!
So it was that Spike returned home shortly after Twilight had turned in, who had at least been thoughtful enough to leave him a glass of milk and a granola bar with a thank-you note before hitting the hay, figuratively in this case, although she did once have to do so literally after a spell gone wrong. He guzzled down the cool milk, which managed to wash down the clingy uvula leech, but passed on the granola bar; he didn’t even like granola, Twilight was just trying to push it on him as part of her attempt to make him a healthy dragon. Ha, good luck with that!
Still, he knew he still had enough hydra dung stench on him that we wouldn’t be able to sleep near Twilight without her going ballistic, so it looked like it was the living room for him tonight. With a yawn, he dragged his drag-able dragon feet to the armchair by the unlit fireplace and curled himself up in its upholstery. At least this is classier than where I usually sleep…
Just then, Spike’s long-awaited trek into dreamland was interrupted by a tapping at the window on the front door. The young dragon suppressed a yelp of alarm and tiptoed cautiously to the front doors. “W-who’s there?” he asked, his boyish yet strangely womanish voice trembling with trepidation. “I’m warning you, I’m a dragon! You don’t want to mess with a dragon!” Wait, why am I so nervous about some light tapping at the door? I just survived a hydra AND cleaned up its poop! What do I have to be afraid of these days? …I really hope I don’t get an answer.
Thankfully, his fearful cry was answered by a familiar whistle, one that he had taught to a certain little bird ages ago. “No…it can’t be…” Spike ran over to the door and flung open the window, revealing a small, orange bird with a smile so bright it could be mistaken for a candle from far away.
“P…Peewee?”
The bird responded with a happy chirp and a quick dart to Spike’s chest, giving him a warm hug where his heart was, making it a literal heartwarming reunion, because puns are what truly keep Equestria alive.
“I can’t believe it!” Spike cried out, his eyes welling with tears, partly from joy and partly from their combined stench which they barely noticed. “You really came all this way to visit me? But I thought you were going to live with your family forever!”
Spike felt Peewee shake his head from their hug.
“You…you want to stay with me?”
A nod and a chirp from the chipper phoenix.
“Oh, thank you thank you thank you!” Spike exclaimed as he threw Peewee in the air in celebration. The two of them did a happy dance together, much like how a certain dog and bird liked to dance, at least until a familiar voice ruined their fun.
“Spike! Will you keep it down?!” Twilight yelled from her bedroom. “I’m trying to sleep!”
Spike and Peewee responded with simultaneous raspberries, followed by a round of giggles. “It’s so good to have you back, Peewee!” the young dragon said softly as he settled back in his armchair. “You’ve missed so much while you were away! Would you like to hear about the juicy stuff?”
Peewee nodded again and snuggled up against his beloved brother.
“Okay, little buddy, just sit tight, because these stories are going to take a while…”
The End