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// Do It Before You Can Think About It 
// Story: Stop Thinking For A Minute 
// by ThatBlueScreenGuy 
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	Holy shit in a handbasket, that mountain was a long way up.
I was lain out on the floor of the mountain that held Canterlot.  I had to take a huge ass hike up to get here, and now that I was, I wanted nothing more than to cough up my lungs, set them on fire, and throw them off the nearest cliff.
“Next time,” I panted, “I build a cable car all the way up here.  Save me the time of having to walk.”
Still panting, I got up from my spot on the ground, and made my way toward the city of Canterlot, which was about another quarter mile up slope.
Once I made it to the front gate, and was granted entrance by a guard, I started to jog my way around the city.
It being noon, you would have expected to find all kinds of ponies running around, doing pony things.  Today, however, there weren’t any.  All the streets were completely empty, save for the random pony that sprinted from one alley to the next.
As I looked around, I couldn’t help but get a feeling of dread.  This city was huge.  How could there not be some ponies wandering about, despite the tag game?  I would imagine that nobles aren’t all too fond of tag, being the stuck up asses that they were.
The rhythm of running hooves caught my attention.
I turned toward the sound, to see a group of ponies charging my position.  At the front of their herd,  was a small child, probably running from the crowd, if the smile on his face was an indicator.
The kid held his own when running from full grown adults, and he must have been no older that the CMC.  When a chaser was about to catch the kid, he would somehow find the strength to get ahead of them, just out of their reach.  It was damn impressive.
My thoughts were interrupted when I remembered the fact that they were running right toward me.
I spun on my heels and ran down the street, not caring that I was headed in  the opposite direction of the Canterlot Castle, which was my goal.
I ran at a dead sprint down the street, never checking behind me.  It’s a psychological thing.  realising how close you are to being boned tends to make the fatigue set in harder, for some reason.
As I booked it down the street, I noticed something.  The kid that was being chased by the mob was starting to get in front of me.
That in and of itself isn’t odd, given that ponies have more legs than I do.  What was odd, though, was the kid’s stance as he ran.
He ran like he was taking a nap.  That’s the best way I could explain it.  He ran with such blyth confidence, that it looked like he wasn’t even trying.  He looked as though he could keep this up, and then some.  He didn’t look like someone being chased by a mob.  Not in the least.
When he ran past me, he turned his head to me, and said,”Left!”
On instinct, I looked to my left and saw an alleyway that wasn’t either blocked or covered with enough litter to trip me up.
Inside the alley, I saw a perfect opportunity to get up on the roofs.  A stack of crates (God, people love conveniently stacking those) that led up to an awning that could lead me to the roof of the building.
I saw my opportunity, and I took it.  Turning to my left, I ran down the alley, skipped a few steps to get the footing right, and jumped onto the crates, and launched myself onto the awning.  From there, I found a few handholds on the wall, so I grabbed them and clambered my way onto the roof.
From the roof, I could see a lot of the city.  I saw a webwork of buildings and alleys, all of them with their own clutter to dissuade someone like me from climbing.  The streets housed many ponies, most of which were wearing red bandannas around their necks.  The ones without bandannas were either being chased by ponies with them, or were hiding wherever they could.
I could also see a nice route to the castle from my perch on the roof.  The fastest, and most direct, way of getting there held the most chasers, for obvious reasons.  I could see some alleys that led to different streets, where the chasers weren’t as thick, though it would take me longer to get there.  I could also run from roof to roof, but I would have to get off at some point, and that point would most likely lead right into a group of chasers.
I sat on the roof for a minute, thinking of which way I should go.  Straight forward and risky, of the beaten path and slow, or rooftops and a crowd…
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of panting coming from my left.
I look over and saw the kid that was being chased by that crowd.
As he lay on the roof, panting, I finally got the time to get a good look at him.
He was small, being a kid and all, and came up to about my thighs (adult ponies came up to about my floating ribs).  He had a light grey coat, with a mane and tail of white.  On either of his flanks was a symbol of blowing wind.
“Hey,” I said, getting his attention. “thanks for the help back there.  If you didn’t say anything, I wouldn’t have noticed that alley.”
He nodded.  “No problem, mister.  I’ve lived in Canterlot all my life.  I know this place like the back of my hoof.”
“That was some impressive running back there, kid.”  I commented.  “Where’d you learn to run like that?”
He shrugged.  “Practice mostly.  My special talent is running, but I can do it better than most.”
I quirked an eyebrow.  “What IS your talent, then?”
He sat up, and smiled at me.  “Breathing.”
I gave him a deadpan look.  “Your special talent is breathing.”  It wasn’t a question, so much as a statement.
He giggled.  “Yup.  I’m really good at breathing, and holding my breathe, and stuff like that.  I once held my breath underwater for twenty minutes.”
My eyebrows shot up at that.  “Damn, kid, that’s impressive.”
He beamed at me.  “Thanks!”  He squinted his eyes at me, looking me over.  “So, what are you supposed to be?  Some kind of money?”
I sighed.  Why does everyone assume that all primates are monkeys?
“No,”  I said.  “I’m a human.  A subspecies of ape.”  I held my hand out to him.  “The name’s Conner, your local embodiment of chaos.”
His eyes went wide, and he stammered,  “D-Discord?!”  He started to backpedal away from me.
I shook my head frantically.  “No, no!  I’m not Discord!  I’m a good guy!  I think…”
The kid stopped.  He gave me a skeptical look.  “So… You don’t want to enslave my mind and force me into a confrontation with the princesses so that they would be distracted so you could slip by and steal/destroy the Elements of Harmony?”
I blinked at him.  “That’s… Oddly specific, kid.  But no, I have no plans to enslave your mind.  Nor do I have any plans to destroy the Elements.  Don’t worry, I’m kid friendly.”
I stared at me for a second longer, before saying,”Okay…  But if I find out you’re lying to me, I’m gonna be mad!’
I smiled at the kid.  “Don’t worry, I’m not lying.”  I stuck my hand back out to him.  “I’m Conner.”
He put his hoof in my hand and shook, saying, “I’m Deep Breath.  My friends call me Deep.”
“Well Deep, I was just trying to find the best way to get to the castle.  You’re the local here, so I think you would know the best way to go.”
He nodded.  “The fastest way would be to just run down the street.  But that gives the problem of running into the crowds walking around.  We could go through the alleys, but those don’t give much running room, and they can lead away from the castle in some spots.  We could also run on the roofs, but we would have to get off them before we hit the castle.  If we were to get off at the closest spot to the castle, we would run into a crowd of chasers for sure.”
He thought about it for a second.  Then he looked up at me and asked,”Why not all three?”
I smiled at him.
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And so we planned, the kid and I.  We made a plan that involved all three tactics for getting to the castle, the plan being to run on the roofs until we hit a crowd of chasers on the ground.  We would then backtrack a little, jump off the roof, and run down the streets.  If we hit a crowd in the streets, we would head into the nearest alley, and evade them by either running into a different street, or by going back onto the roofs.
“Are you sure you can keep up?”  Deep asked.
We were standing on the edge of the roof where we made our plan.  The next roof we needed to jump to was just a simple hop away.
“Don’t worry.” I said back to him.  “I can keep up.  You might be naturally gifted at breathing and endurance, but I trained myself to do stuff like this.  I can keep up.”  I looked at him.  “The question is, however, can you keep up when I start my freerunning, if it comes to that.”
He scrunched up his nose.  “I think I can.  I was never the best at this kind of stuff, but I know a little.  I’ve been trying to get better at it.”
I smiled at him.  “You know, I might have something that can help with that.  It’ll take me a while to finish building, but once I do, I think you might profit from it, in that regard.”
He smiled.  “Great!  But we should get back to the game, right.”
I nodded.  “Right.”
So we started running on the roofs.
I gotta hand it to the kid, he sure knew how to run.  A few times, I had to catch him from falling of a roof, but when we were running on them?  There was no contest.
We ran for about ten minutes before we found the first group of chasers.
I stopped just above them.  “Ok, kid, this looks like our stop.”
He stood next to me.  “Are you sure that we should just jump down?  It doesn’t seem like a good idea…”
I shook my head.  “That’s because it isn’t.”
Then I jumped off the roof.
In hindsight, it wasn’t my best idea ever.  I was never too good at landings, especially when they involved long falls.  I could never seem to get the roll right.  One time I even shattered my entire leg trying to land a big fall.
That said, I’d say that this land was about average.  It still hurt like a bitch, but I had gotten used to feeling that kind of pain.
The sound of me hitting the ground drew the attention of the chasers.  They all faced me, and when they recognised that I didn’t have a bandanna around my neck, they charged me.
I was still recovering from my landing, so I was a little late to turning tail and running.
By the time I did recover, the bulk of the group was right in front of me.  And by right in front of me, I mean right in front of me.
I barely had enough time to dive to the left, just avoiding some pony’s hoof.
I rolled out of my dive, facing the rest of the group, who were changing direction to charge me.
I spun on my heels and ran, eyes darting left and right to find an alley to run to.
The nearest alley was about fifty yards away, to my left, and I picked up my pace to get there.
Just as I was about to come up to the alley, a pony charged out from inside it, and came straight for me.
Thinking quickly, I push down on the ground (some would call this maneuver a jump), and vaulted over the pony, being sure not to touch them.
Said pony ran right under me and right at the crowd that was behind me.  There was a crashing sound, and a few pony curses.
I shot into the alley, and jumped up behind a cart of hay, trying to catch my breath.
I heard the clopping of hooves, and I tensed up, thinking that it was one of the chasers.
A pony turned the corner of the cart, and Deep leaned against it, next to me.
“I told you that was a bad idea.”  He said.
“Did I disagree with you?”  I asked raising a frank eyebrow.
He sighed.  “Well, where to next?”
I shrugged.  “We continue onward.  We make our way to the castle, get chased along the way, something exciting happens, then profit!”
He gave a faint chuckle.  “Ok, lets go.”
And so we continued on, toward the castle.  Every now and then, we would face one or two chasers, but we lost them quick enough.
The real fun started when we got to the castle gates.
“Well, look what we got here, Deep!”  I said, a big smile on my face.  “The castle gates!  And to think you doubted me.”
He shrugged.  “Well, when you trip someone, and then run in the opposite direction, leaving them to the chasers, a little distrust is bound to happen.”
I blew out an offended breath.  “I said i was going to come back, didn’t I?  And wouldn’t you know it, I did!  You put too little faith in me, my young friend.”
He rolled his eyes.  “Come on, lets get to th-”
He was interrupted by the sound of hooves striking the ground behind us.
We both turned to see an absolutely fuckmassive group of ponies standing behind us.
When I say fuckmassive, I reall, truly mean fuckmassive.  There were easily over a hundred ponies staring at us.  Each one of them had a red bandanna around their necks.  I recognised a lot of the ponies as ponies I saw around Ponyville.  I was curious as to when I would see them again.
Ironically enough,  Bon-Bon came swaggering up to the two of us, a smug smile on her face.
“Deja vu, huh Conner?”  She asked.
I chuckled nervously.  “Eh heh, yeah.  I can’t help but feel that I’ve seen this before.”
Bon-Bon gave me a sweet smile, and said,”Well, this time, you won’t be able to just run up a set of crates, or distract and stall me with talk.”  She got a determined look on her face, pointed a hoof at me and yelled,”Get him!”
In a situation like this, there are many ways for a person to react.  Some would freeze on the spot, too shocked to do much of anything.  Others would realise the hopelessness of the situation, and just give up.  But me?  I have a plan for when a fuckmassive group of ponies are hellbent on catching me.
Run away.
Me, and Monty Python.
I spun on my heels and ran into the castle.  I was vaguely aware that Deep was running beside me, panic in his eyes.
We ran through the castle, taking whatever kind of shortcut or chase breaker we could find.  Sometimes that was doors into other hallways, others it was a conveniently opened window.  What ever the case was, we kept the chase going, despite the massive numbers we had against us.
Deep and I stopped at a tri-intersection, where the hall continued on forward and split off to the left.
I lean my hand against the corner of the wall, trying to catch my breath.  We had just barely escaped a chase that had us going at a dead sprint through the halls.  How we got out of that, I’ll never know.
“Ok.”  I said between pants.  “Fuck this castle.”
Deep, who was only breathing slightly heavily nodded his head in agreement.
I pushed myself off the wall and turned to my companion.  “If I remember the layout of the castle from when I was here, the throne room should be just down that hall.”  I pointed to the hall that turned left.
“Ok,  scout it out first.”  He responded.
I nodded, and leaned my head over the corner, where I could see what lye in wait down the hall.
Simply put, we were fuck.  From what I could see, almost half of the ponies in the original crowd from the gate was standing guard at the throne room doors (they look better than how I left them).
Slowly, I pulled my head back onto the wall, and slide down it.  I landed on my ass with a small thump.
Deep tilted his head at me.  “What?  What was over there?”
I took a deep breath, and said,”About half of the ponies that were at the front gates are babysitting the throne room doors.  If I had to guess, this was their plan.  To tire us out, then force us to face the bulk of their mob.”
Deep looked a little startled at that.  “He leaned his head over the corner, and quickly shot away from it.
“Yeah,” he said.  “I think that makes sense.”
I looked up at him.  “How are we going to do this?”
He shook his head.  “I have no idea.  I don’t think we can make it.”
“Welp,”  I said, getting up from my spot.  “when I’m in situations like this, and don’t know what to do, I always follow a motto that has done me proud since the day I made it.”
He tilted his head at me.  “Yeah?  What motto?”
I smiled at him.  “Do it before you can think about it.”
And then I ran around the corner, and straight at the crowd of chasers.
And people wonder how someone as smart as me is such an idiot.
I ran down that hallway, my sneakers making a squeaking sound each time they hit the marble floor.
The sound drew the attention of everypony in that hallway, and they faced toward me.
In that crowd were some faces i recognised, like Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash.  Wonder how they got caught.  Better question, actually.  Where was Pinkie?
That thought was shoved out of my head when I saw the ponies start to charge at me.  If I wanted any chance of making it to the throne room,  would need to get creative.
Time slowed a little as the adrenaline hit my bloodstream.  It gave me plenty of time to think of a way out of the mess I made, if there was one.
I needed a way of getting passed at least fifty ponies, without letting any of their hooves touch me.  That would be game over, and I can’t have that.
An idea came to my mind.  An idea that i was certain would have been impossible back on Earth.  Though, I wasn’t on Earth anymore, now was I?
I smiled as I got closer to the ponies.  If this worked, I was going to eat my own hat.  Well, I would have to get a hat first, but you get the concept.
As I was about to hit the first pony, I shifted my weight, aimed myself at the wall at a slight angle, and jumped.  When I jumped, I used my left foot, the one farthest from the wall.  It would make what I was about to do next easier.
When my legs got within inches of the wall, I stuck my right foot out, and planted it on the wall.  Once I made contact, I pushed off the wall for all I was worth, and went back into the air.
I started to make my decent, but something was blocking me from hitting the ground.  That something was Rainbow Dash, who had gotten to the front of the group.
I planted my foot on the top of her head and pushed off, extending my other foot to prep for the next pony’s head.
That’s how I got to the throne room doors.  I jumped from pony to pony, launching off their heads.  Clearly, no one was expecting it, because when I got to about my fifth jump, the ponies were just staring at me, wide eyed.
I got to the last pony, and pushed off extra hard.  I was thrown off that pony’s head, and straight at the throne room doors.  While I was at it, I might as well make a big entrance.
I snap my fingers, and the throne room doors were thrown off their hinges (again), and flung into the throne room itself (again).
I hit the ground, rolled roughly, and made my way into the throne room, where a shocked Celestia sat, gaping at the hole I made (again).
She turned her gaze from the empty door frame to me, the stunned look still on her face.
I smiled sweetly at her.  “Come on, Celestia,”  I said,” you should have seen this one coming.  You know I just can’t resist making a good entrance.”  The best part about this entrance?  No nut cracking.
Celestia slowly shook her head,  blinked a couple of times, then gave a sigh.  “I should have.  I don’t know how I didn’t, But I should have.”
My smile widened.  “So, I got to the safe zone.  What do I win?”
She looked up at me.  “Who said anything about winning rewards?  If anything, you should have to pay me!  You destroyed my throne room doors!  Again!”
I snorted.  “Oh, come on, Celestia.  No need to be such a spoilsport.  I’m just having fun, and causing chaos, like I should be.  Plus, it could be worse.”
She shook her head.  “I’m sure it could be, but that is besides the point.  Yes, you won the Equestrian Tag Games.  No, you don’t get a prize.  Though, if I had to guess, I would say you had something in mind for a reward.  I can’t just give it to you, but I can exchange it for a favor for you to owe me.”
I put a hand to my heart.  “Celestia, I’m insulted that you would assume such a thing about me.  Just because I ask for a reward, doesn’t mean that I have an idea about what I want.”
She tilted her head.  “Technically true, but you never denied the fact that you do have something in mind.”
I gave her a look that said ‘well, duh’.  “Yeah.  I mean I thought that was a given.  But it still hurt.”
She gave me a flat stare.  “What do you want, Connor?”
I gave her a smile.  “Well, there’s this guard…”