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// Love Paradox (poem) 
// Story: The Nocturnal Collection 
// by TheNocturnalLoner 
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I’m a simple pony, there is little that I want
I enjoy my time alone writing and thinking
But I cannot rid myself of this strange feeling
Like a changeling, it shifts and leaves me reeling

I’m lonely and I acknowledge this fact
Never before has it bothered me, except for now
Now I feel empty and incomplete, unsatisfied
I look with envy upon couples, wishing for what they have

Wishing for companionship on a more intimate level
Wishing like a stupid fool for what is called “love”

I scoff at myself and my own longing and thoughts
‘Tis impractical for me, says my brain coldly
Don’t deny yourself of what you need, my heart counters
Torn and divided, I sit and do nothing with emotions floundering

I desire to love and be loved by another on one hand
Yet, on the other I wish to just simply be left alone
Contradictions upon contradictions fill my head like sand
Leaving me to be confused and saddened

I think of having a lover, and my emotions well up
Threatening to overthrow the dam of my composure

Alone I sit now, feeling truly lonely for the first time
Longing for a companion, I softly cry to myself
Wallowing in pity, I tell myself to pull it together
How can I? I’ve never fallen apart like this before

Members of the female gender frighten me so
The fear of rejection is strong and makes me tremble
My fear is only magnified by my shy traits
Feeling awkward, I resolve to approach one

I found one, who I think matches my personality
I cannot rid her of my mind, I will ask her soon

Oh happy joy, I dared to ask her to a date
Stuttering over myself I asked her, as she smiled
She accepted and my heart flew to new heights
Happily I went on my way, awaiting the day

The day after, she approached me, and elated I still was
Afterwards, my thoughts crashed to the ground like a stone
Her answer was premature she said, not quite ready she stated
I replied that it was fine, and it was, but still my spirits sank

Thoughts of failure and ineptitude swirled in my mind
Like angry bees, they stung at my pride and my esteem

So now here I sit once more, alone and wanting
Wanting to be alone yet not wanting to be alone
Being happy while being sad simultaneously
I dare not reach out again, for the bees still swarm

In time I will try again, but why do I act this way?
Why do I have these thoughts and feelings?
Why am I so confused and lost in this world?
And why must love be such a paradox?

-L.S.