My Very Little Ponies

by Yonah21

From drab to fab

     “Pinkie Pie, how much more syrup do you need on that? At this rate all you will taste is the syrup and not the pancakes.”

     “I think that is what she has in mind. Sweeter the better”, Twilight says as she, the other four, and myself eat breakfast.

     One plus to having such tiny roommates is that they do not eat much at all. All I made this morning was two blueberry pancakes, and all they needed was for me to cut off a small bit of one of the pancakes for them to share amongst themselves. Far less than what my brother ate when he and I used to live together. Our food costs were ridiculous then.

     “Pinkie Pie, darling, do be careful! You are going to get syrup all over your mane!”, Rarity cries out as Pinkie Pie eagerly eats up her piece of pancake.

     Rarity however should have been more concerned with herself. While Pinkie Pie continues to try and get more syrup onto her own pancakes, the small cup of syrup is accidentally spilled. And, unfortunately, one white unicorn was sitting and eating right next to Pinkie Pie when that happens.


     In my entire life, I have never heard a scream like that. A scream of pure agony. A scream of someone who is experiencing nothing but terror. Someone who would do anything to not be in that situation this moment.

     “Oops… Sorry Rarity”, Pinkie says nervously as she backs away from Rarity whose white coat and purple mane is now covered with sticky syrup.

     “At least it isn’t hot syrup. Now that would be messy and would also hurt horribly”, I say, looking at the usually prim and proper unicorn, now covered from head to hoof in maple syrup.

     “I, I need to get clean, now. I need to bathe, I need shampoo, conditioner, and soap. Right now”, Rarity says as she stands, and tries to rub off a little of the syrup to no avail while also trying to remain prim and proper.

     “Ah don’t know ‘bout that Rarity. Ah think it looks rather well on you”, Applejack says as she very poorly tries to hide her chuckling.

     Rarity glares at Applejack, and I see her horn starting to glow, as does bits of the syrup on the pancakes.

     Oh no, no way are we going to have a food fight this morning. I am not in the mood to clean everything up. It is far too early for that.

     “Rarity, don’t you dare. I’ll take you to the bathroom and get the sink there going with hot water for you, alright? Just don’t start anything.”

     “Thank you darling, please do. Though I would not have even thought of doing such an act if Applejack did not mock me”, Rarity says as she continues to glare at Applejack.

     I quickly grab a napkin and gently pick up Rarity in it to carry her to the bathroom. Though before I leave I look back to leave a message for the other five of them.

     “And please don’t make more of a mess, alright? Pretty please?”

     All five of them nod, and I turn to head to the bathroom. Knowing Pinkie she might very well make a mess anyway, but if she does I will take care of it.

     “I am so sorry for Pinkie Pie making such a mess, Micah”, Rarity says as we enter the bathroom, and I let her down into the sink.

     “Ah, not your fault. It is annoying, sure, though I can clean it up. I am just glad that when she cooked with me at the bakery she was able to do so without leaving much of a mess”, I say as I then get a bar of soap for her, along with squeezing out a little bit of shampoo and conditioner for Rarity. I don’t think she would be able to lift the bottles that easily.

     “And thank you again for doing this. I haven’t cleaned myself properly for ages!”

     “Ages? I thought the six of you have only been here for a few days before we met.”

     “Right. And each of those days I have been unable to bathe myself. Magic can certainly help somewhat, but there is nothing quite like the feel of a lovely bath or shower”, Rarity says as she looks at the faucet.

     “And speaking of that, would you be a dear and start the water for me?”

     “Oh, yes of course, sure”, I say and turn on the faucet, and instantly warm water starts pouring out onto her.

     “Aah, yes. Thank you so much Micah”, Rarity says as she starts bathing, which leads me to ask something I should have thought of before.

     “Sorry for just thinking of this now, but, would you like me to leave while you bathe? I don’t know how it is with ponies, but with humans we normally like to be left alone.”

     “Well I see no reason why you need to leave. So long as you do not stare I do not mind. Though thank you for asking”, Rarity says with a friendly smile. “So humans normally bathe alone?”

     “In this country we do, yes. Some places have public baths, but here we don’t. I for one definitely wouldn’t like to bathe with someone else in the shower with me.”

     “Most curious. Oh! Micah, dear, I just remembered something that I must ask you”, Rarity says as she begins to use the shampoo.

     “And what might that be?”

     “Why do you always have your mane simply lay about like that? I have to say it looks rather… Plain, to put it lightly.”

     “My mane? You mean my hair? Well, um, I just always have it like this.”

     I may have had some people who have told me to cut my hair short before, but I have never had someone tell me it looks plain. However I would much rather have someone say it seems plain than just simply say I should chop it off.

     “Well Micah that simply will not do”, says Rarity as she finishes rinsing out the shampoo and starts with the conditioner. “We must change that immediately. That and get you some new clothes.”

     “Ok, hold on. You have only been here for a few days, and you expect me to trust you to both decide a new hairstyle for me, and new clothes? What do you know of human fashion?”

     “Oh, you wound me with your words darling. I just know I can come up with a new outfit for you. And of course, I will think of something wonderful to do with your mane. And don’t you worry, scissors shall not be involved.”

     Well, this is certainly a first. Getting fashion advice from a pony. I never, ever thought I would be putting those words together. But I also never thought that I would ever be having a conversation with a pony at all.

     “Well… Maybe you could give a few tips. Before Leah and I meet up today I was planning on going to the store to get a few things, so you could come along. I will be going by the clothing section after all.”

     “Wonderful! I know that with my expertise we shall change you from being drab to fab!” Rarity seems to be practically beaming from the information, like a small child hearing they are getting a new toy.

     “Drab to fab? Do I really look like that to you?”, I ask, and look down at my regular sort of outfit, a pair of old, slightly torn jeans and a plain black t-shirt.


     “Alright now… I got my sweater, wallet, keys, I think that is just about it.”

     “I do wish I did not have to hide in your pocket.”

     “Sorry Rarity, I don’t want to risk anyone finding out about you. You could always stay in my crammed backpack like Pinkie was yesterday, if you prefer that”, I say with a smirk.

     Rarity’s silence is a good enough answer for me, as I turn to Twilight and the others.

     “Well, while Rarity and I are gone you five can do as you wish, so long as you don’t cause trouble or leave a mess. Should I cook something for you to have while I am out?”

     “No, the pancakes were fine, thanks”, Twilight says, and then looks towards the window. “Though could you maybe open a window for us?”

     “I don’t see why not. But try and shut it should it start raining. I don’t want a bunch of rainwater in here when I get back”, I say as I head to the window, and open it for them. “There is no screen though, so you better make sure no insects get in.”

     “Yeah yeah, whatever. Stop worrying so much”, Rainbow Dash says as she looks out the window, grinning.

     “And Rainbow, if you go out there, be careful. You are small enough you would be a snack for any hawks or other large birds”, I warn her.

     “I’m not worried, nothing can catch me!”, Rainbow boasts with a grin.

     Not wanting to provoke Rainbow, I leave it at that for now. Besides, while she is at times too risky, she isn’t stupid.

     Most of the time.

     “Well Rarity, you ready?”, I ask her as I place my hand in front of her.

     “Yes Micah, I am”, says Rarity as she lifts her hoof to step onto my hand. Though she stops before doing so.

     “You did wash your hands, didn’t you?”

     “Seriously? Rarity, you were soaked in syrup not that long ago. Besides, I promise you my hands are clean. And you do remember that you are going to be inside a pocket the entire time, do you not?”

     Rarity thankfully does not protest any longer, instead daintily stepping onto my hand. I lift her up to my sweater pocket, and she looks into it for a moment, seemingly inspecting it before she steps into it. Once she does so, she fits into it perfectly, her head just barely poking up out of it.

     “Micah, dear, you must clean this sweater. There is far too much lint inside it.”

     I do hope I won’t regret doing this.

     “Well, see you all later. Remember not to break any of the rules we agreed to while I am gone”, I say as I head to the door.

     “Bye bye! Have fun you two!”, Pinkie says as the door opens, and Rarity and I step out.

     “I don’t know if fun is exactly how I would describe going shopping…”


     “Micah, what sort of establishment is this?”

     After some time walking, since buses no longer run on Sunday (Stupid budget cuts), we arrived at the shop. Living on a small salary that one makes at a neighborhood bakery, one wouldn’t get a lot of cash. Definitely not enough to shop at a mall or anything like that. So, since working there I have always gone to this single place for clothes.

     “It’s called a thrift shop. It isn’t great, but it has cheap prices”, I say as we enter the old building. “Though because of one guy named Macklemore they have become somewhat more popular up here.”

     “Macklemore?”, Rarity asks, her confusion fairly clear.

     “He’s just a musician from this city is all. And shh, stay quiet please. I don’t want anyone to hear you”, I say as one of the cashiers waves at me as I enter. After going here long enough they have come to recognize me.

     “Hey Micah. How are you doing? Anything I can help you with?”, the cashier says as I walk past him.

     “No thanks. I got a new friend who gave me some advice on what to get. Going to try and change my style some. From ‘drab to fab’, as she said”, I say to him with a grin as I head towards the shirts.

     “Well if you want anything let me know.”

     After nodding politely I head deeper into the store. When a few minutes pass, and making sure I am out of earshot of anyone, I look down to Rarity in my pocket.

     “Alright, now it should be fine. Sorry about that.”

     A sigh comes from the white unicorn as she pokes her head up, and she says, “It is so dirty in here, oh the sacrifices I am making for youOOOOO! Darling, what are these things?!”

     “Shh! Not so loud!”

     I take a quick look around, and thankfully no one is glancing over here. Thank G-d for that.

     “I’m sorry Micah, but… These, things, they are just horrid! I cannot allow you to so much as touch them!”

     The shirts we are looking at don’t look awful. They look odd, I admit, and some of them do look a bit old. Well, more than a bit. Some look like shirts that hippies wore in the 60’s, and some pants have the hippie floral design.

     “But they are just shirts, coats, sweaters and pants. I know it isn’t the best but it’s all I can afford.”

     Though she is right I have to admit. They are not that great. I usually get the plain, simple clothes since everything else is pretty bad. But with my limited fashion sense I couldn’t really tell if something was any good to begin with.

     When I look at Rarity though I can only imagine what her thoughts are about the clothes. Well, her thoughts other than her utter disgust.

     “Ugh. Alright let’s see what there is that I can work with. First of all, I tell you now, do not so much as touch anything in front of you”, Rarity says, waving at all of the clothes in front of us, along with almost all clothes in site, which excludes half of the entire shop.

     “Rarity, I like that you are willing to help, but I do not need anything fancy. Just something that looks a little bit nicer than what I currently have on”, I say as I grab a black collared shirt, one of the few normal bits of clothing in front of us.

     “No! I cannot allow this! You will only touch what I permit. Meaning you shall drop that bland thing this instant!”

     “Ok, ok. What is it that you recommend then? And please, quiet it down a bit”, I say as I put it back.

     “Nothing in sight, that is certain. Head to somewhere else in the store. Nothing here would be flattering for you.”

     “This is going to take a while, isn’t it?”

     “Now we are in the dressing room, go and put on the clothes. We shall not leave until we find something that will make you look fabulous.”

     “I will, don’t worry. But could you turn around please?”
     “Turn around?”

     “Remember what I said when you were cleaning off the syrup? Humans don’t really like having others look at them when they don’t have clothes on.”

     “Oh! I’m sorry darling, of course I’ll turn around.”

     Well at least I can get started with this now. Rarity was able to decide on a few shirts and pairs of pants for me to get. Though it took her almost thirty minutes to decide even on those. Hopefully it won’t take her as long to help me decide on what final outfit to buy.

     “I am sorry that the selection here is not that good. Most everything here is second hand”, I say as I strip off my sweater, t-shirt and jeans and shoes.

     “It would be better if we could go somewhere better. And certainly to a place that is cleaner”, I hear Rarity say, putting emphasis on cleaner.

     “Heh, well, if I find a place that is cheap and meets said requirements I will let you know”, I say, and pull on the first set of clothes. “Alright Rarity, I got the first set on. What do you think?”

     Rarity turns around and looks at me, from my feet all the way up to my neck. The first outfit she chose was something that even I, with a limited fashion sense, know is crap. It is a pirate satin orange shirt that I swear would blind most people, and the pants are of the overly baggy sort.

     “Rarity, I -”

     “Darling, you don’t need to say a word. What was I thinking? Get rid of that travesty, and try the next set. I am certain one of the sets I chose will make you into a fabulous stallion but that is certainly not it”, Rarity says, and turns around once more.

     “I certainly hope so. It would be annoying if all this time was spent for nothing. But I think we have a chance with your fashionable taste”, I say as I pull off the shirt and pants and grab the next set.

     “Why thank you darling. You are quite kind.”

     “I try. You and the other five are my roommates now after all. Though I wonder how long it will take for Rainbow to come around. I can understand being suspicious but she at times seems to go overboard”, I say as I start putting on the next outfit.

     “Now now Micah, she will come around. I know Rainbow Dash can be like that, but she will be friendly enough in time.”

     “Let’s hope so.”

     I finish putting on the outfit, and, while not great, it is a little bit better than the previous one.

     “Alright Rarity, what do you think?”

     As she turns around, I think she doesn’t dislike this outfit as much as the previous one. Though, I don’t think someone could pick something a whole lot worse than what I had on a short time ago.

     “Hm. The shirt is rather plain, and the purple jacket does not work as well as I had hoped. And those trousers you have on, what are they called?”

     “Jeans. Though I don’t know why you chose jeans this skinny….”

     “Jeans then. They do appear far too fitted. This won’t do, we want to leave something to the imagination after all. On to the next set!”

     “I concur.”

     Once Rarity turns around again I do the same routine as before, sliding off the old clothes for the next set.

     These clothes are ones that I actually think might look alright. Well, alright with what one can get in a thrift shop. A pair of somewhat form fitting jeans, but not too tight, converse high top shoes, and a plaid button up shirt. Not one of those with a bright, outlandish fashion, but a more subtle one.

     “Well Rarity, what do you think of this one? I think it looks alright”, I say with a grin as I wait for her to turn around.

     As soon as she does so Rarity smiles, and says, “Why my dear this is much better! Not exactly great, but with our limited selection I am not sure what more we can hope to find here. Before we are done though, please turn around for me.”

     “Huh? Um, why turn around? We both agree it looks fine as is don’t we?”

     “Yes, though I need to make sure the jeans you have on are not too tight over your dock.”

     “‘Dock’? What is the ‘dock’?”

     “Well for ponyfolk it would be right where our tail starts. With you, it would, um… I do not know your exact word for it, though for you it is your derriere.”

     ….. Did she just say she needs to check my ass?

     “Um…. Why do you need to do that?”, I say, taking a few steps back.

     “It is only to make sure the jeans do not hug your body too tightly. They do not do so with your legs, but I need to make sure it does not hug you tightly on your dock either”, Rarity says politely, still grinning. “There is no reason to worry, I do the same thing with the mares and stallions back in Ponyville. I always need to make sure their clothes fit perfectly.”

     I can’t believe this. I never thought that I would have a toy sized unicorn checking my tuchus to make sure it fits right in new clothes. But I suppose that is not the wierdest thing to happen in the last few days.

     “Fine, fine. Just, no crude comments, alright?”, I say, and turn around like she asked. Oh goodness, if Leah hears about this somehow she will tease me about it for years.

     “Yes, these will work just fine Micah. I only wish I could do more”, Rarity says after only a second or two, and I turn around again the moment she does so.

     “Good. I will buy these then, and after that I will do the rest of the shopping, then head back home to drop you off. And thanks for not making any snarky comments or crude remarks”, I say with a thankful smile.

     “Really Micah, you never need to worry about that. The only remark I would ever say would be if your clothes need work. I would not make the sort of remarks that you are insinuating.”

     “Still , you have my thanks Rarity. Both for being polite and assisting me with getting these clothes. I hope that Leah will like them too”, I say as I look down at myself.

     “Trust me darling, your mare will find your current attire far more appealing than what you had before. Now, about your hair…”