Blueblood's Ascension Part III; or, Even Alicorns Have Dreams

by MyHobby


Friendship and Other Ailments

Blueblood stared at himself in the mirror. A brief flash of magic threaded his bow tie around his neck, its blue complimenting his eyes. Said eyes felt a bit heavier as he brought his hooves up and manually tweaked the adornment. “Feh.”

Two week’s notice was more than enough time to get his affairs in order. Far, far more time. Only a week had gone by, and that left seven whole days to agonize about his fate. Seven more days until he would be shipped off to Tartarus to begin his life-long service to ponykind.

“Nothing to do but wait for the grand old send-off,” he mumbled.

He levitated a cup to the sink and turned on the “cold” faucet, expecting clear mountain water to flow forth. Instead, he got a heaping helping of neopolitan ice cream. His lips parted momentarily. Deciding to press his luck, he switched off the cold and turned on the warm faucet.

“If there is any justice in this world,” he said as he preformed the action, “it will be hot fudge.”

Black goop did indeed pour from the faucet, but it was not fudge. “Boiling tar. How very keen.”

Blueblood set down his cup, now filled with ruined dessert, and walked out of the bathroom. “Kibitz! Kibitz! Where are you, old boy?”

Kibitz, the Royal Scheduling Advisor for HRH Princess Celestia (and by extension, her household), heard the prince coming and was regretfully unable to turn around fast enough to escape his attention. Blueblood trotted up to him with a purpose, one which Kibitz was sure would put a bit of a kink in an otherwise well-oiled day.

“It seems that Discord feels the need for a bit of mischief,” Blueblood told the servant. “Would not today be just a wonderful opportunity for him to visit Lady Fluttershy?”

Kibitz ruffled his moustache with a harrumph. “I work for the royal family, Prince Blueblood. Not the other way around.” He turned his nose up and began to walk away. “And if you think for a moment that Sir Discord follows any of my schedules, well, you are sorely mistaken.”

Kibitz had not gone three feet before an explosion opened up a hole in the ground in front of him. Discord leapt out of the hole wielding a ringing alarm clock and bunny ears. “You’re late!” the draconequus cried out.

He stuffed the ears onto Kibitz’s head and the clock into the servant’s outstretched forelegs. “You’re late! It’s twenty minutes after eight!”

He spun around and punted a screaming Kibitz into the hole with his cloven hoof. “You’re missing your appointment! Fly! You’re late, you’re late, you’re late!”

Discord zipped up the hole with a smirk and turned to Blueblood. “That’ll liven up old brush-face’s day. Did you have something to share with the class?”

Blueblood raised an eyebrow. “I don’t believe I have time for this, I’m afraid.” He brushed past Discord and loped towards his suite.

Discord floated alongside him at an easy pace. “Oh, I think you have nothing but time.” He chuckled and produced an hourglass with sand that flowed upwards. “Both too much and too little.”

Blueblood slowed to a walk so that he could address the other half of the conversation. “What is it you want with me?”

“Direct, aren’t you?” Discord chuckled. “Not much for tact, huh? I like it.”

Discord produced a flannel graph from absolutely nowhere and stuck a be-toweled effigy of himself upon it. “You did something very strange to me, Blueblood. You surprised me.”

Blueblood lowered his head, a frown deepening on his lips. “How?”

Multiple flannel ponies appeared on the flannel graph. They took on a life of their own; either running from the fake Discord, or cowering in terror. “Most ponies react in the sensible way when they meet me. Either through a good old fashioned panic, or instant appeasement.” Discord rolled his eyes as six specific mares wearing six specific articles of jewelry appeared and stared angrily at his representation. “And then you get reactions like the former bearers of the Elements of Harmony.”

The graph disappeared in a poof of bats. “But then you come along and buck tradition. In. The. Face.”

Blueblood knitted his eyebrows. “I’m not sure I follow.”

“There it is!” Discord shouted. “That same exact expression! You just don’t know what to do with me, do you?”

The prince sat and placed a hoof to his chin. “I must admit that I don’t particularly like you.”

“But!” Discord raised a talon to Blueblood’s lips. “You don’t particularly dislike me either! With me, that’s practically a blank slate.”

Blueblood grimaced. “I don’t particularly dislike you yet,” he whispered beneath his breath.

“What’s that?” Discord scrubbed his ear out with a feather duster. “I couldn’t hear you over the sound of how our friendship is blossoming.”

Blueblood returned to walking down the hallway. “I seem to recall, the last time you broke loose, transforming into a donkey and being forced to pull piles of rocks up a hill.”

A huge grin broke out across Discord’s face. “I remember that! That was because I thought you were a gigantic jack—” He coughed and pulled his face into a neutral expression. “But it is time to begin anew, Blueblood. A reformed me, a slightly reformed you… I see potential.”

“Yay. Whoo…” Blueblood’s expression remained blank. “Just in time for me to be carted off to prison.”

It was Discord’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Perhaps…”

Just as they reached the doorway at the end of the hall, it flew open to reveal a very dirty, very angry Kibitz. Discord’s eyes lit up. “Ah, Jeeves! Bally good to see you again! Wot, wot!”

“My name is Kibitz, good sir.” The Royal Scheduling Advisor’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “And Prince Blueblood has a visitor.”

The doors opened further, admitting a white unicorn stallion with a blue mane. A smart moustache graced his upper lip, and a monocle sat snugly wedged upon his cheek. “Blueblood, it’s been too long!”

Blueblood’s eyes grew wide as a smile spread across his face. “Fancy Pants! I don’t think we’ve met since this whole silly alicorn business began!”

They clasped hooves and shook mightily. Discord leaned his chin on his paw and sighed. “And here I was half-hoping it was that cute nurse chick.” He turned to Kibitz and gave a curt nod. “That will be all, Jeeves. Wot.”

Kibitz glared at Discord with the fire of ten thousand suns. He spun on his back hooves and trotted brusquely away. He never noticed the length of toilet paper roll that the draconequus surreptitiously stuck to his left rear hoof.

Fancy Pants’ expression became serious as he released Blueblood’s hoof. “So, how are you holding up? It’s not an easy thing that you’ve been asked to do.”

Blueblood released a breath through his lips. “I’ve been spending my days making sure everything fits together, along with time set aside for moping. Nothing out of the ordinary, I’m afraid.”

“And do you have any appointments for today?” Fancy asked.

“None that I can’t particularly ignore,” Blueblood answered with a glance at Discord.

“Splendid!” Fancy Pants slung a foreleg around Blueblood’s shoulders. “I know just the thing to get you out of your dumps. A fantastic day on the town!”

Blueblood allowed himself to be led out the door, despite some niggling thoughts. “I’m not sure I—”

“Blueblood, you have enough time to mope when you’re warden of Tartarus,” Fancy interrupted. “For now, you are going to have some fun with your old friend.”

“Aha!” Discord appeared beside them with a toothy smirk. “That does sound like a great idea! With us three out and about, there’s a great day ahead!”

Fancy Pants started at his appearance, his blue mane standing on end. “I say, Blueblood, did you invite him? I suppose it’s alright if you did, but…”

Blueblood shot the smiley draconequus a defeated sigh. “I don’t suspect we could uninvited him now, could we?”


“Well this was a complete flop.”

Fancy Pants and Blueblood turned to Discord with annoyance. Blueblood lifted a hoof to his lips to shush him. “You aren’t supposed to speak at the cinema!”

Not that it quite mattered, most other patrons had shifted rump to leave the dark, enclosed room that now contained a draconequus.

“Why not? The movie’s practically over, anyways.” Discord rattled his bucket of popcorn kernels. “And my snack is gone.”

Fancy Pants’ jaw dropped. “But the movie only started a half-hour ago!”

“Oh for goodness sakes.” Discord’s lion paw detached from his wrist and moved on its own to grasp Fancy’s chin. “That mare right there? She’s going to fall hopelessly in love with… let’s see… that rugged, stubble-bedecked stallion there. They probably won’t realize it until the night before their major confrontation with the villain.” He rolled his eyes. “The villain is so over the top, he’s obviously going to do himself in, in the most ridiculous way possible. It’ll save the hero from dirtying his hooves, too! I’ll bet they have a battle on a Manehatten skyscraper. Whooop! Down he goes!”

Fancy Pants pursed his lips. “I fail to see the problem.”

“It’s so darn ordered!” Discord groaned. “Everything out of Applewood is the same exact thing every time. Mix it up a little!”

“Rubbish! Utter rubbish!” Fancy leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. “It’s all about the journey, not the destination.”

“Is it still an adventure if you walk down the same road fifty times?” Discord smirked.

“It depends on if there are pirates lying in wait this time,” Fancy replied.

A slow grin curled around Discord’s mouth. “Variation within structure?”

Fancy Pants nodded, a satisfied smile on his face.

Discord’s grin turned manic. “I hate structure.”

With a poof, the three beings disappeared.


They reappeared in the grandstands of Cloudsdale’s coliseum, a rounded cloud-based building that played host for a variety of sports. Blueblood’s gasp of fright at sitting on a cloud was drowned out by Fancy Pants’ panicked screeching. “I can’t fly! Help me! Somepony, please help me!”

Discord, rather than let him drop to his doom, held him aloft by a series of puppet strings that were tied to each of the pony’s hooves. “Now here’s where structure disappears! The racecourse!”

A flight of pegasi soared past at speeds nearing the velocity required to create a sonic rainboom. “Dozens of fleshy ponies barreling down the road at forces that could crack an egg! So many variables at play that it would take naught but a momentary distraction to send the entire thing crashing to the ground!”

Blueblood felt the force of the pegasus-generated wind tearing his bowtie from his neck. His mind flashed to the image of a garrote. “May we return to the movie, please?”

Discord snorted. “Some ponies just don’t appreciate good chaos.” He snapped his fingers…


And they found themselves in the theater once again, beholding a teary-eyed actress weeping at her own backstory. Fancy Pants’ windswept mane was combed down as best he was able. “That was an experience.” He sent a sideways glare at the draconequus. “I suppose you’re the type that goes to the race for the crashes.”

“Sometimes, life is painful,” Discord said with a chuckle.

“And when it’s not, what is it?” Fancy asked.

“Short,” muttered Blueblood.

Discord arched a brow. “What’s gotten into you?’

“Haven’t you heard?” Fancy shifted in his seat, hoping against hope that he could become comfortable with a draconequus by his side. “It’s the talk around Canterlot. Blueblood is next in line to fulfill a family oath in Tartarus. He’s to become warden of the dreadful prison.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard.” Discord’s eyes narrowed, though with varying widths. “I admit that Tartarus is a little after my time, but don’t oaths only bind the pony that gives them?”

“I beg your pardon,” Blueblood said, “but as I only have a week ’til I am to leave, may I spend this day having fun in peace?”

“Fun?” Discord gasped. “Watching Ponies Punch Each Other: The Movie CXIII!? Oh, gak! You need to do something out of the ordinary! Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!”

Fancy blinked; a slow, arduous feat. “I was trying to get him out and—“

“Whadda yah want, a medal?” Discord shoved a chocolate medallion in Fancy’s mouth. He turned to Blueblood and wrapped an arm around him. “So, tell me, Blueblood. What is the one thing you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the guts to try? Sky diving? Carriage racing? Spelunking?”

Discord chuckled. “Don’t mind me, I won’t tell a soul!” He shot a wink at Fancy Pants. “You do have a soul, don’t you, Trippy Trousers?”

Fancy grumbled around a mouthful of chocolate.

Blueblood watched as the main actress swapped spit with the main actor. His eyes narrowed. “There is one thing that I wished to do, and we may make it before it is too late.”

Discord raised his talons, ready to snap them at a moment’s notice.

“How would you like to visit a factory?” Blueblood asked.