A/N: Wait, what? Why do you have a hacksaw?
Authors notes:God dammit, I was suppost to be writing my normal fanfics, but yet I'm doing this?
Why am I even starting to write this?
It's 11pm.
It's probaly:
Well I hope you enjoy this random stuff I write, I have no idea what I'm doing anymore.
Hell with it, it's going on Hiatus, maybe that way I be able to focus on my other fics.
Sorry to all of you that read this, but I need to get back to my old fics and this is calling for me to write it.
AND I DON'T WANT TO!
So... yeah, I probally come back to this after I write another chapter for Doctor what.
Once again, sorry, I just can't do both and I really want to go back to the proper story.
Okay?
*Gets hit in the back of the head by a pinkhoof.*
"Oh no you don't."
"What about us?"
"Yeah, jackass, now get back to writing or I'll fuck you up."
"You wouldn't"
*Gets smacked in the face.*
"I can rape your mind when you sleep at will, don't try me chump, or I swear I will fuck your shit up."
"You would dare, it would take to much energy."
"Screw fucking logic, I'm Pinkamena diane fucking pie, so shut the hell up or I will end you.
Now get back to writing."
"Fine, I'll do it."
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So what happened last time...
Oh yeah, the universe exploded.
Well Fimfiction atleast, not sure about the rest, but who knows what that crazy pony can do?
Not me, so stop asking, I mean it, stop, I don't know.
So back to the story.
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I awoke in a dark,damp room, my right hand- (No wait, they are hooves now, dam plotholes, why did that happen anyway? It made no sense anyway, I mean I just turned into a ponies for no reason.)
A voice thundered in my head, rattaling around my skull.
"What did I tell you about questioning the Story?" Boomed the voice.
"That's it's wrong and I should stop." I muttered back.
"Speak up". The random voice demanded.
"It's wrong and I should stop." I raised my voice slightly.
"LOUDER!"
"IT'S WRONG AND I SHOULD STOP QUESTIONING WHAT HAPPENS!" I bellowed at the voice, hoping it would shut up.
"Good, now don't let me catch you at it again."
"One of these days." I muttered to myself.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Good.
Now go back to describing the random shit that happened."
-My right hoof was strapped down to a table by a metal shackle and to my horror, so were my other appendages (No not that one, the legs, no not the 5th leg, don't even think about that.
I mean it, stop thinking, pull yourself out of the gutter.
On a side-note, call us in the next 24 seconds and get padding for you local gutter, no longer will you wake up with back pain.
Oh it's run out now. Too bad.
... The hell? Anyway, back on topic.)
Panicking slightly, I tried to see if any of the shackles were loose, due to rust and general wear and tear, but alas this was not to be.
Sweat ran down my muzzle, (Why was I made a pony?) and my breathing became rapid as the full realisation of what had happened sunk in.
I was strapped to a table, in a dark room, somewhere inside Fimfiction, a site which had thousands of cupcakes spinoffs, and-" I gulped as the thought ran through my brain.
"Cupcake clopfics."
I prayed to every single god, cult figure there was for help; "Zeus, Mars, Odin, Christ, Budda, Hitler, Discord, Obama, Kronos, Celestia, Knightly, some-one/somepony help me."
My mental and vocal my prayers were cut short by the sound of hooves clip, clopping (Not that type) coming from the darkness towards me. (Which kinda sounds like the Drums in the Masters head, you know :1,2,3,4 1,2,3,4, 1,2,3,4 1,2,3,4.
Strange how you notice these kinda things when you are in mortal terror and probally about to die.)
I stared in horror, as out of the darkness came the a horror that few men have ever lived to see, the image that burnt it's self into my mind, that is waiting for me whenever I close my eyes, the horrid shape of -
A few blobby ponies rolled around in a field, hugging each other and making cute poses when the sudden tranquil peace was shattered by a pink earth pony mare that galloped across the field, closely followed by a black unicorn stallion wearing cool shades who was screaming and whooping in a mixture of fear and excitement and knocked several blobby ponies onto their backs, leaving them trapped as they desperately tried to right themselves with their tiny legs.
As the few upturned blobs were slowely helped back to their tiny, stubby legs, by their fellows, a dust cloud appeared to the east, and in a few seconds the few blobbies were engulfed and trampled under a swarm of the the sum of all of mankinds evil, the worst creature that we were every cursed to have met, FLUFFY PONIES.
The swarm of multicoloured freaks of science swarmed over the plains, chasing after the two fugitive ponies, their cries of "Smarty say,give owies to baddy non-fwuffies", "Why mama no move" and "Nummies?" echoed across the open plain, causing the pair of ponies the pick up speed, in the vain hope of losing their vengeful pursuers.
"I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA." Screamed the pink pony, her hair swept back from the speed of their gallop, her well toned flank muscles pushing her onwards, towards the pairs destination, a small stone wall.
The stallion grunted his mind focused on the twin taskes off moving his legs, and preventing the movement of his 'other' leg, which had started to twitch and straighten at the sight of the pink mares rump, bobbing up and down as she galloped across the landscape.
"Hold it togethor Datdamnface" Muttered the stallion to himself. "Mounting, and fucking her brains out won't help anyone, but it would feel soo good."
So mesmerized was Datdamnface by Pinkie's marvellous flank, he would have ran straight into the stone wall, if a voice, which to him sounded like one of Gods angels hadn't shrieked at him.
"Hey pot head, look out."
This angelic voice snapped him out of this dream like state, and he was able to jump over the small wall, and through a patch of shimmering air and land, barrel roll style on the grass at the other side.
One of the first things he noticed, was no longer a pony, instead he was, what seemed to be a humanoid creature with a robot arm and a single fang.
The second thing he noticed was that he was sat next one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen; Her long pink hair sprang out in shape not unsimilar to cotton candy, a pair of perky funbags were perched on her chest, not too big, and not too small, just the right shape for 'parties'.
As he gawped the girl, leaned in as if to kiss him, hoping that this was the case Datdamnface closed his eyes and puckered his lips, but to his surpise, instead of a kiss from a foxy lady, he instead recieved a hearty smack to the face.
"Come on silly, we're not done yet." Stated the girl as she walked away, but not before bending over and shaking her rear at the now quite horny Writer.
With a sigh, Datdamn got up and followed the crazy mare, with any look his adventure might be fun afterall.
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See you next time I get ideas.
Bye.