//------------------------------// // In Which I Suffer Head Trauma // Story: Overactive // by Mariorulez14 //------------------------------// Author's Note: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all associated characters, locations, etc. are property of Lauren Faust and Hasbro. I do not own these characters, nor do I claim to own them. Now then, continue on with your entertainment endeavors. Overactive A story by Mariorulez14 Chapter 2 By the time we got out for lunch during the fourth period, all I could focus on was getting to the cafeteria as fast as I could. Apparently Shelby was having the same thoughts, since she was booking it to the same destination. She got there a little faster than I did, and her eyes shot open as soon as she opened the doors leading into the cafeteria. After I caught up to her a few seconds later, I almost dislocated my jaw at the sight. There was cake batter everywhere. Despite the evidence of custodians that had obviously been there for hours (there were scores of Windex and 409 bottles thrown into a corner), there were huge splatters of pale-yellow cake batter and red frosting everywhere. Chocolate milk bottles were strewn about the floor, some unopened and some empty. By this time, most of the other students were standing wide-eyed and open-jawed at the mess, which as described shortly after as looking like someone threw a chocolate-covered Strawberry Shortcake into an open blender. The first person to break the silence was Mr. Edrian, the principal. Half the people in the crowd, including Shelby and I, jumped when he used what he likes to call his “Principal Voice” - also known as Mr. Megaphone. “HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS WILL BE EATING IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL’S CAFETERIA TODAY. PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.” Mr. Edrian’s deep voice created a lot of static to come through the megaphone, causing a couple headaches and some of the Chess Club members to struggle with hearing for the next hour. The crowd started to move toward the next building, but I slipped through the doors of the high school cafeteria while Mr. Edrian wasn’t looking. ---------- Making sure the room was clear of janitors, I tip-toed farther into the room. “Pinkie,” I said in a harsh whisper, “where are you!?” I went through the doors leading to the kitchen and found an unconscious Pinkie Pie covered in cake batter with a distended belly (filled with chocolate milk, I assumed). I tapped the cake-covered pony with my food, causing her to shake her back legs a little and roll to one side. That’s adorable…I feel bad I have to wake her up, I thought to myself as I started shaking Pinkie. At that moment, I learned two very important things. The first thing is that cake batter gets your hands extremely sticky. The second thing is that you should probably avoid shaking Pinkie Pie awake. I woke up a few minutes later halfway under the concessions table with a throbbing sensation on the left side of my head. Pinkie was standing over me with a jar of pickles that I assumed she was using in place of smelling salts. “I’m super-duper-extra sorry about that, Mr. Human!” I knew she meant well, but she immediately took to licking the cake batter off my hands, which felt both relieving and disgusting at the same time. As groggy as I was from getting kicked full-force by a hyperactive pony in a food coma, I didn’t object. After the cake batter on my hands was replaced with pony spit, I got up after a few tries and hobbled my way down to the nurse’s office. After seeing the giant bruise on my temple, she gave me some Advil and drove me home after phoning into Principal Edrian that I had a possible concussion. My parents were both out of town on their third or so “honeymoon”, so the house was mine for the next couple days or so. I stumbled hazily around our house toward the kitchen, got myself some more Advil and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up a few hours later with Pinkie in my face again, although she was holding a plate of chocolate-chip-and-raisin cookies this time. I got that terrible feeling I’d have to clean the kitchen, but I took a couple of them anyway. “I’m still really sorry about hitting you in the face back there…I twitch a lot in my sleep! I also twitch when something is going to happen, when people try to wake me up, when-” I shushed Pinkie and held my head, which was still sore despite the painkillers. She grinned sheepishly as she sat down on the couch next to me and ate the rest of the cookies. “So I didn’t get your name, Mr. Human! We can’t be super-best friends if I don’t even know your name!” She extended a hoof to me in the fashion of a hand-shake. “I’m Pinkie Pie, and we’re going to be best friends!” “Name’s Joel.” I just about took Pinkie’s hoof in my hand, but I jerked it back when I saw that there was a joy buzzer tied around her hoof. I shot her a playful scowl and wagged my finger at her while making a nanny-like “ah-ah-ah”. Pinkie giggled and went back into the kitchen for some more cookies, making me wonder exactly how many she made. “So Pinkie Pie, I have a question.” Pinkie swallowed another plateful of cookies in one gulp and waited for me to ask. “How is it that we can interact with you and you can interact with the real world?” Pinkie Pie stared at me blankly. “Whaddaya mean?” “I’m talking about how the batter-bombs managed to make a physical mess and your hooves leaving me with a concussion.” I pointed to the bruised lump on my head as Pinkie put on a slight frown. “I’m not sure, Joey! Can I call you Joey? It’s more fun to say than ‘Joel’!” Pinkie obviously lost her train of thought as she started to think of “fun” ways to say my name. Note to self…if I meet Twilight, I have to ask her about it. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost 4, deciding that I’d get something to eat. “Gonna get some food…” I trailed off, part of me still wanting to believe that Pinkie was just a figment of pure imagination. And yet, she was so real that I felt terrible about not getting her something to eat even though she was already on her fourth plate of cookies. “…you want anything, Pinkie?” “Have any chimicherrychangas?” “…Chimney-whats?” “A chimicherrychanga! It’s like a chimichanga, only it has cherries instead of the normal stuff!” I was a little puzzled since chimichangas in my world had beef, and Pinkie Pie obviously didn’t eat meat due to her equine heritage. “I don’t think so, but we have some Drumsticks in the freezer.” “You silly-filly, drumsticks are for making music!” Pinkie laughed, getting a few slobber-soaked crumbs on the glass coffee table. Sighing, I got up and walked over to the freezer, pulled out a Drumstick and showed it to the pink pony. “This is a Drumstick. It’s like chocolate-covered ice cream.” I handed Pinkie the Drumstick, who took it and ate it all in one bite like she did with the cookies. She suddenly turned blue, muttered “brain-freeze” and fell over shivering; in a few seconds, however, she was back to her normal color and stacking assorted boxes lying around as stairs to get into the freezer. “Those are delicious! Fantastic! Wonderful! Pinkie-riffic! Got any more?” She started to lob frozen goods out of the freezer until she triumphantly held out the box of Drumsticks, which she took over to the couch and dug in. Guess I’ll get myself some take-out and call it good then. Not getting dessert tonight, either way. I dialed the number for the local Panda Express, ordered a couple containers of noodles and some eggrolls and waited for the delivery guy. Strangely enough, I heard the doorbell go off just a few seconds after I hung up the phone. Pinkie immediately looked up from the pile of wrappers she already accumulated from her Drumstick binge. “I’LL GET IT!” she yelled as she cheerfully bounced her way over to the door. I couldn’t see who it was since I was getting an ice pack for the sore spot on my temple starting to set back in, but I heard Pinkie squeal with delight and yell “JOEY! YOUR MAREFRIEND AND RARITY ARE HERE!” At the mention of my “marefriend”, I winced a little since Pinkie just announced to Shelby I had feelings for her. “Tack on another thing to make this day a bother”, I said to myself as I got up to see Shelby and white pony with a curled purple mane being embraced by Pinkie Pie. The pink pony took in a huge breath and proceeded to talk a mile a minute. “Rarityit’ssoawesometoseeyouIthoughtyougotlostintheweirdportalafterIjumpedinandcamehereandmetJoeyandhismarefriendand THANK CELESTIA YOU’RE OKAY!” She slumped down and immediately ran into the kitchen to do what sounded like more cookie-baking. Rarity seemed a little shell-shocked after being tackle-hugged by a sugar-fueled mare, but Shelby looked a little entertained by the spectacle as evidenced by the smile on her face. Rarity looked up to see Shelby’s face, huffed and messed with her hair. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr.….Joey, is it?” “Name’s Joel, actually, Pinkie just calls me Joey.” I shrugged as Rarity continued. “Regardless, it’s a pleasure. Now if you could direct me to your facilities, I must brush this dreadful dust out of my mane!” I gave a motion down the hall and Rarity followed, the sound of running water emanating from the general direction moments later. I looked up at Shelby with a tired look and she responded with a confused one. “Did…Pinkie call me your ‘marefriend’?” “My concussion’s fine, thanks.” I said with a chuckle. I let her inside and we sat on the Drumstick wrapper-littered couch while I explained the current situation – what happened earlier in the cafeteria and the past hour’s events. Shelby giggled a little and blushed when I got to explaining how because Pinkie saw us together at the bus stop she assumed we were going out. “That’s a bit of a hasty assumption…” she said after I’d finished. “Tell me about it. She wanted something called a ‘cheesy-chibi-changa’ for dinner.” I saw Pinkie stick her head out from the kitchen door, yell “Chimicherrychanga!” then go back to her baking. A few minutes later, a slightly-wet Rarity came from the hallway looking cleaner than when she arrived with Shelby. “Ugh, how dreadful the cities are in the human world! I thought I’d never get that black muck out of my mane!” She held out her hoof, staring at it like it was about to eat her. “We had a little incident with a puddle of oil on the way here…” Shelby sort of turned away and started making a nervous gesture of playing with her hair. It was kind of scary how quick she’d revert from being social to being…well, a Fluttershy, for lack of a better term. “Hey Ra-" I started to say, but then remembered something. This is Rarity you’re talking to, Joel. Show dignity and respect or she’ll feed you your own hands. I cleared my throat and started over. “Excuse me, Miss Rarity?” “Yes, darling?” Rarity said from a cushion that belonged to our dog Greta when she wasn’t roaming the property behind our house. “I was wondering if you’ve seen any of the other ponies. You know…Fluttershy and Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack.” “I haven’t the slightest idea,” Rarity said thoughtfully. “One minute we’re all in Twilight’s library working on a teleportation spell, and the next moment I wake up in a dreadful-looking alleyway! I was covered in grime and filth...I looked like a mess!” Rarity said the last couple phrases in more of a hiss than actual talking. This was a pony that was a serious neat-freak. “…I heard a couple of the girls on the track team say that they saw a pony giving a shoulder rub to a raccoon during their after-school practice…” Shelby said. I thought back to before Mr. Edrian’s intercom announcement. “Come to think of it, I remember some of the football players saying they saw a hat-wearing pony bucking some of the apple trees in the orchard near the school…” At this point, Pinkie Pie was walking into the room with several batches of blue-frosted cupcakes balanced on her head. She laid them out on the coffee table and ate a few, then said “Great, that means that everypony’s OK!” She gasped suddenly. “We should organize a search party! I’ve always wanted to have a search party! We’re gonna have a float that’s all decorated up with telescopes and maps and GEPDs* and missing posters!” She ran out of the room as she said “I’ll get started on the float!” ---------- “Goodness, that pony has enough energy to wear us all out without breaking a sweat,” groaned Rarity as she reclined on her – err, Greta’s pillow. Shelby and I chuckled as a barking sound came from the back door. I got up from the couch and started toward the barking. “Sounds like Greta’s back, I’ll let her in.” I opened the door to find not only Greta, but a yellow Pegasus pony with a pink mane. “Um, excuse me…is this your doggie?” the shy pony asked. “Fluttershy!” Both Rarity and Pinkie immediately went to hugging the frightened pony, whose expression quickly changed to a happy one. “Oh thank goodness, I thought I was the only pony that made it through the portal! Thankfully I had Greta here to lead me back to this house.” She blushed nervously when she saw Shelby and me, but Rarity gave her a soft pat on the back. “Oh come now Fluttershy, don’t be afraid. Say hello to Joel and Shelby.” Fluttershy made a little whimper as she backed away from the door, but Pinkie was quick to intercept her. “Yeah, Fluttershy,” Pinkie added, “Joey’s super-duper nice! He gave me lots of ice cream! Anypony that gives me lots of ice cream is A-OK in my book!” “Uh…hi…I’m Fluttershy. Nice to meet you…” Her voice trailed off as she made eye contact with Shelby. Something about the two must have clicked, because the next minute they were sitting on the couch chatting away like they’d known each other for years. “Pretty strange that two people as shy as them would warm up to each other so quickly,” I said as I walked back into the room with the containers of Chinese take-out. “Does anyone want some food? It’s Chinese.” “I wonder where Chinesia is,” Pinkie asked herself out loud. She turned to me and asked, “Is it near Hayjing? Or is it closer to Tokyoak?” I let out a groan as I remembered that Equestria had some very punny names for the major cities on Earth. “It’s from the Earth country of China…well, kind of. The food’s made here, in the United States.” I unsheathed my cutlery of choice – chopsticks – and began to take a bite when I heard a loud grumble that echoed through the room, even loud enough to stop the newly-acquainted chatterboxes sitting on the couch. Rarity turned a bright pink that almost matched Pinkie Pie’s coat as she let out a whimper. “I’m dreadfully sorry, all…I suppose I’m feeling a bit peckish. Might I enquire the whereabouts of an eatery in the area?” Second challenge of today, I thought to myself, feeding three imaginary cartoon horses. I picked up the phone book and called one of our neighbors that kept a few normal horses...you know, ones that didn't talk. “Hi, would it be alright for me to get some hay or some alfalfa? No, not for me…no questions please sir. I’m having a crazy day as it is…” Footnote- *GEPD stands for Global Equestrian Positioning Device.