//------------------------------// // A Slight Misunderstanding // Story: Vile beast // by ZheTwidashLover //------------------------------// “SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT, the alpha male, or alpha female. WHATEVER. NOT THE POINT!! I need to find a wAY OUT OF HERE!!” He was panicking and starting to sweat. He looked around for some way out, a window, balcony, another door, SOMETHING! For god´s sake SOMETHING, but he saw nothing. He looked behind him, the door was so packed he couldn´t even see the rest of the hounds he knew were there, waiting to get a taste. Without realizing it, he had been backing up, to the left of the door he entered. He hit a wall. He snapped out of his stubber and took another look around. From the different angle he could now see two balconies that he could possibly get to. He looked between them, trying to decide whether he should make a run for the one above the door he entered or the one on the other side of the room past the alpha where he wouldn´t have to climb. “No, no, I´m probably on the third floor at least, too risky, I have to climb the banner if I´m going to get away without ending up in a coma. I probably won´t get away if I fall into a coma… FOCUS!” He ran towards the group that entered the room after him and jumped onto one of two banners placed on either side of the door. He pulled himself up as fast as he could using only his arms as he never learned how to climb a rope. He didn´t notice the chain sneak up on him, covered in a blood red aura. He heard a something like a… like a…? He had no idea, it was like some sort of morphing or fusion sound you only hear in video games and movies but it sounded more real, like it was right there, less than a foot away… He grasped his neck. “Oh they did not… They did, the DOGS put a collar on me, on ME, a HUMAN, a motherf**king human. I am NOT going to be some bitch´s bitch or pet. I´d rather they eat me. I don´t care if this is a hallucination, I won´t be able to look at myself again if they make me eat off the floor.” He felt it some more, this time noticing something cold and pointy, and something else, also cold, that led down his side and… “THEY PUT A LEASH ON ME!!” He was boiling, heaving with rage. Strange, it usually took more to make him angry, huh, oh well. With newfound energy and strength he climbed as fast as a less evolved primate and leapt over the railing before something yanked the chain. He almost fell over the railing. His head and shoulders leaned precariously over the edge and he saw that somehow the dogs had made the chain look like some weird tentacle extension of the floor, there was nothing between the two, nothing to wrap the chain around, nothing to link it and nothing to do anything, the chain was just a part of the floor, the marble tile floor, fragile marble… He put his hands around the chain and pulled, and yanked and pulled and pulled and yanked and pulled some more until the tile cracked and finally broke. He turned to his left, a wall. He turned to his right, a door, with hounds. “Shit, again.” He looked at the hounds, then down to the floor below, back to the hounds, floor below, hounds, below. Charge? Jump? One of the hounds raised a spear. Jump. He jumped over the railing and grabbed one of the banners and swung himself over the alpha and the rest of the hounds. He slid down the banner but stopped before he was level with the floor. He released the banner and landed with a thud in front of the other balcony. He ran out onto it, grabbed the railing and looked down. Celestia had been using telepathy to co-ordinate the guards, right now she was telling them to wait. Without letting the soldiers hear her thoughts, she thought, “Why hasn´t he moved?” The human had been all over the place earlier but now he just stood there as still as a rock. Celestia was starting to think it was an illusion, when he let go of the railing and fell on his butt. It crawled backwards, away from the edge and Celestia swore she heard him muttering to himself. “This is not the second or third floor. Or the forth. Or the fifth. Fuck, this probably isn´t even the tenth floor. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What if the floor gives? What if the foundations aren´t good enough? What if they have airplanes and one of them crashes into this place? Am I going to die from poisoning, fire or falling? Shit, I hope the plane just crashes right into me and kills me instantly. I don´t want to die from falling. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The number of floors in this tower, or whatever this is, is too damn high!” Celestia heard that last part as the human was now almost directly beneath her, and still going. Thump. He hit something. He looked up and saw the alpha looking back at him, if he had been calmer he might have noticed the look of concern. He leapt up and rolled forward before standing up and assuming a fighting stance, the horror of the edge pushed away for now. He watched as the armored hounds tensed but did nothing. He took the time to assess his situation. The armored hounds now numbered in the dozens. There were dozens more not in armor outside and an alpha stood in front of him. He took a better look at the alpha. It didn´t really look like a dog. One, it didn´t have claws. Two, it looked like a horse. That pretty much sums up his thought on the subject. Ok, next up, deal with dogs and save lunch, dinner, or whatever they called the horse, and then feel good about himself. He charged. He was surrounded in a golden aura. He was surprised. “What the hell is this shit. Let me down!” He looked at the horse and saw the same aura covering its horn. “Damn, that thing has a horn… God damn it, FOCUS!!” He studied the horse for a moment until it became painfully obvious to him that the horse was holding him in place, with its horn, more precisely, a golden glow around its horn, it was holding him with golden light. “At least it isn´t pink,” he thought to himself. He now figured the dogs must have brainwashed the horse with some sort of alien technology or, if his hypothesis on what the horse was using was correct, magic. He had to save the horse, even against its will. Celestia was intrigued with this human, he was running around buck naked without a sheath and would have probably evaded her guard if he had even the slightest idea of where the exit was, he could speak but every sentence had to involve shit. He was fascinating. She held him in place, using more magic than she thought she would have to, so she had to let him down and try to talk to him. He felt the hold the horse had on him dwindle and fade as he was set down on the ground. He didn´t run, he didn´t attack. He also had no idea how he was going to pull or push a horse against its will. Carrying it was out of the question, he could maybe ride it. But he never rode a horse bareback before. Was it any different? “Let´s find out, shall we?” While he thought about his plan he had bent down and gotten ready to spring up and onto the horse´s back. As he bent lower and lower, the horse walked closer, or trotted, which worked out perfectly for him. He jumped at the horse. The horse was close enough so he could wrap an arm around its neck, swing up and onto its back and be caught in more ’’magic.’’ “Drat.” He said, his face the epitome of discontent. “How am I supposed to get away now, the aura is red, I probably made it angry.” Now that was a scary thought, a horse who could hold him perfectly still without even touching him, maybe the horse didn´t even need to be close to him. He would have shuddered if not for the ’’magic.’’ Now that´s a scary thought, a horse who could freeze him from miles away. Well, it wasn´t really that scary, just uncomfortable. Practical stayed to the side of the room, away from the path the human would likely take if he rushed out. It surprised her however, to see the human leap at the princess and climb onto her back, but she fixed that by grabbing him before he or anypony else would do something they would regret. She walked towards them and said, “I think it´s time he knows that we can talk as well, don´t you think princess?” Sensory overload. That was a good way to explain what happened to him when the dog talked. He had seen something impossible and was able to cope with that, but to see and hear something impossible at the same time? Too much. He reached out for something, anything to touch and confirm that he was indeed dreaming. His left hand touched the princesses mane, it felt like water, hair that feels like water… WARNING! Optical sensors not in sync with other sensors. This error will be dealt with via restart. He fainted.