Celestia walked down the hallways of her castle, each of the guards bowing as she passed. She walked right past them, her mind elsewere. Her heart felt as if it had been seized by a cold hoof. She felt like crying out right there in the hallway, but her many years of reign had taught her that that was not wise, for when she paniced, so did her subjects.
Today had been a long day for her, full of praises from her subjects. They thought that she was a perfect pony, the greatest role model, but she knew they were wrong. She had made many mistakes, some more severe than others. She kept looking straight ahead. Every night when she descended the sun and brought forth the moon, it was a constant reminder of her greatest loss.
She told herself that she could make it to her room, as her long white legs brought her down the long hallways of her castle. She had turned the hallway that led straight to her room. She felt panic ripple through her when she saw her personal guard stationed by her door. The guard gave the princess a quizzical look.
"Are you alright your highness?" The guard asked, concern noted on his face. He had been her guard for fifty years and knew her like the back of his hoof. The only thing he did not know was her greatest pain.
"I'm fine," Celestia lied, biting her tongue.
"Are you sure?" He asked. Celestia nodded wearily.
"I'm tired, that's all." Celestia lied once again. She hated lying to her beloved subjects, but she couldn't tell them the truth. Not even her most loyal of guards.
"Whatever you say, your Majesty," he bowed,"But if you are ever in need, I am at your beck and call." The guard had an aching feeling something was wrong and that he should do something, but reassured himself that the princess knew what she was doing. What could go wrong? She had been the beloved ruler of Equestria for countless years.
Celestia nodded,"Thank you."
She then entered her room, trying not to slam the doors, for it might alarm somepony, especially her personal guard. She collapsed onto her comfortable bed. Tears uncontrollably fell down her face, wetting her pillows. She wept softly at first, but the volume of her unheard cries continued to increase. She plunged her head under her blanket, so nopony would hear her sobs. Her problems were now unheard, and the reason, was caused by her greatest mistake.
Celestia stumbled out of bed. She knew she had to get a hold of herself, for tomorrow was the Summer Sun Celebration. She pushed open the doors that led to her balcony. The cool night air touched her face, and tears continued to fall. She gazed up at the moon. Her subjects had thought that the mare depicted on the moon was mere coincidence, but they were very wrong.
"I am sorry dear sister," Celestia called out, closing the doors behind her so nopony would hear. Years after she banished Luna to the moon, she had tried to convince herself that Luna had deserved the punishment that she had given her. This was the consequences for becoming Nightmare Moon, the monster. But soon, she had realized that there was a reason behind everything. Luna had become Nightmare Moon...Because of her.
Celestia winced at another thought. She had watched her sister delve deeper into devastation, but had done nothing. The darkness had overwhelmed her and transformed her into that horrid monster she had banished. That darkness...Celestia couldn't stop telling herself that she was the one who had planted it inside her. The time the Princess of the Night needed her most, she wasn't there.
Celestia cried harder, her mane becoming soaked from the tears,"I love you." Celestia's heart was beating violently, and Celestia thought it would explode,"I am sorry that...That this fate has befallen you... It is that fate I deserve." Celestia paused, her mind racing,"You deserved more than this...Forgive me."
Celestia's apology blew like the wind among the trees, up into the night sky. That same night sky that Celestia had to raise every night since the banishment of the one she loved most. The stars twinkled above, lively and free. Celestia looked up into the night sky, envying every pony. She had lead herself to believe that she was the most unlucky pony in all of Equestria.
For a moment, she had wished she was like her loyal guard. At the beck and call of Luna when she had needed her the most. The guards were always prepared for the worst, but on the night that Luna became...that monster, Celestia had been more frightend than a mere school filly who had just seen a small spider. Not in the least prepared. And her subjects thought she was perfect.
Celestia dearly hoped that her younger sister wasn't being drowned in sorrows similiar to her own. She needed her dear sister to know that she loved her. That she had never hated her. That her banishment was never meant to bring pain to anypony. This was her yearly routine, ever Eve of the Summer Sun Celebration.
Celestia felt that on the night she had banished Luna, she had lost a war. Lost a war that nopony could win. Yet, nopony cared of her sorrows, or even knew them. Ever year, ponies would celebrate the banishment. It felt like mockery to her. Mockery. It was pure proof that she was far from perfect. She wondered how she could stand in front of everypony and look happy on the "holiday" that celebrated her greatest mistake.
Celestia collapsed to the ground,"You're not a monster. Your not Nightmare Moon," Celestia channeled all her emotions into her word,"Your my sister."
Celestia lie on her balcony weeping, just her, the night sky, and her sister. And at that tense, moment on that clear night, a voice was heard. It was weak and soft. But Celestia heard it loud and clear. It was the voice of her sister. The voice whispered,"I am with you, and will be with you always."