//------------------------------// // Chapter one: How to Fly // Story: Life // by Elitist Scum //------------------------------// Chapter one: How to Fly By Obsidian of Borg As I sit here on my bed, staring out into the soft white blanket slowly covering the world in a fresh sheet of canvas, ready to be painted on, I can't help but feel my aching joints, or hate the taste of denture paste. I can't help but look at the pictures on my bedside table. One of a orange-yellow mare with a cream colored stallion, the other a faded black and white picture of a stallion holding a young mare in his hooves in front of a barn, pulling her in for a kiss. I pull the latter close to me, hugging it as tight as I can and feel warmth surge off of the cold metal into my very soul. "Won't be long now Haas... Yah better be waitin for me, yah big stud." I whisper as I place the picture back next to the two smiling ponies, the stallion pointing to the mare's distended stomach. "Yah'd be proud Orange Blossom... They turned out alright." I choke as I stroke the side of the frame. A sudden crash emanates from below me. Smiling, I focus on the sounds coming the kitchen below me. My grandfoals and great grandfoals must be up and about, getting they're days going and getting breakfast ready. That crash must've been Streusel. Heh, takes after his mother. I gingerly pull my false teeth out of their nightly resting place, squirt a small dollop of that vile pink paste onto them, and place them in my mouth with practiced ease. The taste never gets better. I grimace as some of the paste touches my tongue. A sudden knock from the opposite side of my door pulls me from the evil grip of denture paste. "Who is it?" "It's me Streuswal gramma!" "Door's unlocked sweetie! Come on in." I say as I put the tube of pure evil away. A moment later and the door is open, and a small blue pegasus colt is walking in, flour plastered to the left side of his face, and syrup covering his snout. "We made panpakes gramma!" He shouts, his eyes brimming with joy as he trots over and attempts to hop onto my bed. "Yah did? Well yah better have left some for me!" I say as I poke his little stomach, eliciting a giggle from him. "Your father better have." I mutter as I stroke his mane, but quickly pull my hoof back when it makes contact with a patch of sticky syrup. Definitely has his father's stomach. "I don't fink he will." The green eyed colt says as he licks his muzzle. "Momma said he be sleepin onna couch if he did." He giggles, "Big ponies are funny. I like sleepin onna couch." I can't help but smile at his exuberance, at his curiosity. His eyes dance about my room, as though they are at the Hoofswell Ball. "Who's dat pony gramma?" He asks as he points to the black and white picture on my bedside table. I pick it up, cradling it in my hooves as though it were some centuries old lost artifact. I stare at the stallion, forever frozen in time, pulling the laughing mare towards him. She puts up a fight, pretending to fight off the enormous draft horse. "That's a dear friend o' mine. Ah haven't seen him in a while." I mutter as I hold the frame just out of his sticky hooves' reach. "Are you gonna visit him? If you miss him, why don't you visit him?" He inquires of me as I continue to lose myself in the memory frozen in that picture. "Ah will, when it's time." I whisper, setting the picture back down. The tiny blue colt puts a hoof to his chin, clearly thinking. And thinking. And thinking. Suddenly, he perks up and turns to me. "You're gonna go a train ride?!" "Ah guess yah could say that. Now come on, Ah want some breakfast 'fore your father decides he like sleepin on the couch too." I chuckle as I scooch off my bed and head for the hall outside my door. The clink of hooves on hardwood tell me I know have an adorable little blue shadow. "Ok gramma!" He shouts as he runs ahead of me, intent on beating me to the stairs. I carefully make my way down the stairs, walking backwards to make it easier on my legs, taking each step at a time. As each hoof hits a stair, the echoes resound throughout my body, the same way a singer's voice echoes about the walls of an opera house, and my body is having quite the concert as I descend to the main floor. Streusel impatiently taps his hoof at the bottom of the stairway, but then remembers the sugary goodness stuck to his face and promptly begins reliving his breakfast. I can hear the sound of a bigger set of hooves approaching, as my grandfoal Applejack approaches her offspring with a rag on her back. "Ah was wondering where you went off ta Streusel." She says as she grabs a hold of the squirming blue pegasus with one hoof, and wipes his muzzle with the other. "I'm not a baby mommy!" He shouts as he struggles in vain against the vice grip of his mother. "You're right. But you're mah son, an' no son of mine is gonna look like a walking buffet!" She shouts as she attempts to crush the resistance of a particular patch of syrup on the blue foal's face. She looks up at me, her eyes pleading, "Was Ah this much work?" She asks. "Yes you were, and it was worth every second of it. Lookit how you turned out." I smile at her as she finishes mopping up the breakfast rebellion, a slaughter the likes of which won't be seen until lunch. A gasp escapes her lips as she clutches her stomach, a look of pain etched across her face for a few seconds, replaced by a look of relief. "If this foal don't come out soon..." I can't help but laugh. Applejack is just like her mother. First foal is the easy one. Second one keep idea to tear a new opening. "Yah were brutal ta your mother, so Ah guess it's her way of saying 'This is payback.'" "That ain't fair... Ah was just a baby!" She pouted playfully, sporting a smile. "Hehehe... Now where's mah breakfast! If that garbage disposal of a husband of yours went after mah flapjacks..." I growl as I walk towards the kitchen. I can hear laughter wafting out of the room, along with the pleasant aroma of love and pancakes. I walk in and am greeted by the sight of Big Macintosh and Soarin attempting to make pancakes, while Cheerilee quietly laughs into her hoof as a colt rips into his breakfast like a lion into its prey, while a filly sits at a table leafing through a book, taking a bite every once in a while. I walk to the two stallions succeeding in proving how without mares, ponykind would die of starvation. "Ah'll take your finest flapjacks gentlecolts." "Mornin." "Hey granny Smith!" They both greet me as they slid over a pile of surprisingly unburnt flapjacks. They must be more skilled than they look. ------------ "So granny Smith," Soarin said as he slumped onto the couch next to me. "I asked Appljack who the stallion is in that picture..." he continued, pointing a hoof to a black and white photo hanging on the wall, "and she told me to ask you." "He's the stallion that taught me ta fly." "I sense a profound love and life story coming on." He chuckled. "It's a better story than what yah got!" I jeered, poking his chest with my hoof. "What isn't romantic about 'I blew up your mother's farm and she made me fix it.'" "It was one orchard!" I said, poking him again. "You try planting an entire orchard, it's hard!" The blue pegasus fell back in his seat as he wiped a hoof across his brow, brushing off mock sweat. "Ah have. Several times." "Nuance... Weren't you going to tell a story?" "Yes, Ah was." I smiled. "It was a long time ago," I sighed, "an' Ah think Ah was about twenty at the time, an' mah family had been invited ta Canterlot..." -/-/-/ "What's this hoedown called again Pa?" I asked as I poked my head out of the carriage window. "Ah b'lieve the princess called it, 'The Grand Galloping Gala,' or somethin 'long those lines." The tan stallion said as he straightened out his suit for the billionth time. Honestly, if he pulls on that thing anymore, it's gonna rip. Pa must be nervous. Then again, I don't blame him. Whatever this party is, it's big. The princess hoof delivered the invitation to us, thanking us for helping settlements near the Everfree forest grow. I can see the lights of Canterlot in the distance, like tiny stars against the backdrop of night. Pa said all manner of ponies is supposed to be here, and I can hardly wait to get there... Although, I feel kind of nervous about being in the presence of so many important ponies, about embarrassing myself... No. I will not let the thought of those aristoponies ruin my fun. They can judge all they want. I'm me, and no one's gonna change that. "We're almost ta the castle Annie." Pa said, shattering my internal debate. Now I understood why pa had been so worried about his suit, as I began to pull and straighten out my own dress, made just for me by a seamstress who moved to Ponyville recently. It was a simple dress, with an elegant form coupled with several soft shades of green. It was beautiful, and words could never express my gratitude to the seamstress. I kept getting more and more nervous, and I could feels breathing become heavy. Suddenly, a gentle hoof placed itself on her shoulder. I looked away from the carriage window, at pa, his hoof resting on my shoulder, his eyes telling me to calm down. "Ya look beaut'ful." He smiles gently. "Thanks pa." I smile back. "Now come on, we're here." I step out of the carriage and onto the promenade leading up to the castle, Pa following right behind me. We make our way up to the castle, dodging through the crowd, and finally make it onto the castle grounds. There's some yelling, a commotion, and out of the crowd comes an enormous white unicorn stallion with a blond mane. "Are you the Apple family?" He asked in a regal tone. "Uh, yeah... How can Ah help ya?" "I am prince Silverheart, and my aunt Celestia sent me to collect you to meet her." He replied, bowing to us, "If you'll follow me." He said, gesturing with his hoof towards the castle. Pa and I followed him through the crowd and into the castle, then the white unicorn veered off to the right, heading towards a small alcove. As we rounded the corner there was a flight of stairs flanked by two guards, a unicorn with an eye patch and a pegasus. Silverheart started to ascend, but when we tried to follow, the unicorn blocked our path. "Sorry, only royalty past this point." Stopping dead in his tracks the prince quickly came back down the stairs, "Oh I'm terribly sorry, I forgot. Captain Sparkle, these are esteemed guests of the princess. Please allow them to pass." Looking slightly embarrassed, the blue unicorn quickly removed himself and bowed to us "Please accept my apologies, sir and miss." "Ain't nothin ta it. Yah was jes doin your job, and anypony like that is all right with me." My father said, stepping forward and pulling the unicorn's hoof up and shaking it. "Thank you sir. Please enjoy your evening." We continued to follow the white prince as he ascended the last of the stairs and led us out onto a balcony, where the majestic princess of the sun was sitting, watching the ponies mill about below, her ethereal mane floating in a nonexistent breeze. Silverheart cleared his throat and the princess turned to us, half her face obscured by her mane. "Alfriston Apple!" She called out happily as she trod towards us. "Im delighted that you made it." she smiled as Pa took her hoof and kissed it. "Oh, and hello Anne, it's a pleasure to see you again after all these years. I have to discuss something's with your father, so please, go have fun." She said as the warmth from her smile permeated my whole body. "Thank yah kindly princess. I think I will." I bowed to her before I made my way back to the Gala. I made my way past the stairs and rejoined the throng of ponies filing onto the ballroom floor. As I walked into the enormous room filled with ponies, the full magnitude of the beauty of Canterlot castle struck me. "Wow..." I stared, my eyes as wide as supper plates. "Um, excuse me miss?" A solid, yet shy voice asked from behind me. As I turned to meet the voice, my vision filled with the sight of the biggest stallion I'd ever seen. His red coat shone underneath the tuxedo he was wearing, and his dirty blond mane had been combed into one of the new styles I'd seen about Canterlot this past night. He shuffled nervously, as though he were afraid of me, his blue eyes looking everywhere but me. "Yes?" I answered, awestruck that a pony this big could exist. He breathed heavily, pulling himself together, focusing his eyes on mine, "Heelo, my name is Haas Apple, und I vas vondering if I could have the honour of dancing vis you." "It would be mah pleasure." I replied, holding my hoof out for him to take. He takes it, his hoof visibly shaking, gives it a gentle kiss and then heads out onto the dance floor, his hoof still with mine. He looks at me, and I can almost see the trepidation in his eyes. He rears back onto his back legs, and places his other hoof on my waist as the music begins. "You'll have to excuse my dancing...I'm not the best by a long shot." He said nervously. "As long as yah scuse mah horrible dancin, Ah'll forgive yours." I said as I get into the groove of the dancing. From what I can tell, this dance is at least familiar to him, but it's nothing like the square dances back home. Although, oddly enough, if I'm not mistaken, the steps for this have essentially been in a box shape. I look into his eyes, and I can see the trepidation being replaced by confidence as he begins to dance a little faster. The confidence his eyes now exude is beginning to affect me. His sapphire blue eyes are sucking me in, as though I'm the only made in the room... It feels like I'm flying almost... And then the music stops, and I come down to earth. The confidence that flowed out of his eyes only a short time ago is replaced by trepidation once more. Haas thanks me for the dance, and begins to walk away when I grab his leg. "Haas, can I have this next dance?" I ask as he turns back to me. "It is not proper for a mare to ask a stallion to dance, but I can make an exception if you forgive my cowardice." "Ain't nothin ta forgive. Your shy. That's part of yah. And your gonna dance with me, got it?" I command as rear up and I pull his hoof back to my waist. "You are a strange little mare..." He chuckles as he takes my other hoof and prepares to dance. The music starts, and once more I'm flying over an ocean of blue. I fly again after that, and again, and again, and again. After the sixth dance, I can feel the tiredness in my limbs, and see the sweat beginning to form on Haas' brow. I pull him out into the gardens that surround the ballroom, for a respite from the noise, the fresh air, and the chance to talk to him. "So Haas, Ah've never heard an accent like yours. Where's it from?" He stopped dead in his tracks, looking at the ground. "Me und my family... ve only recently have come to Equvestria, from Germaneigh." He sighed, "A country to the northeast...ve fled because of political trouble when I was young." I could see a single tear fall off his face and onto the ground. "...und now all that I have left is my brather Struedel." A few more tears rained down on the earth. "Haas...it's ok." I whispered as I pulled him into a hug, although it was more like putting my head to his chest and him silently crying over my head and shoulders. "Tell me 'bout the happy memories yah have of Germaneigh." "L-l-like what?" He asked. "Like what'd yah do back home? Run a candy shop? Hang out with friends? That sorta stuff." "Vell, me und my family ran the biggest apple farm in the country." He sighed. "Oh how I loved that farm...getting to tend the apples in all their glory...there's nothing like it..." "Do yah really love apples that much?" I asked. "As ridiculous as it sounds to you, yes." He replied. "Don't sound ridiculous at all." "Really?" He sniffed, looking down at me. "Eeyup. In fact, Ah know an apple farm that could probably use your help. Ah could get yah a job there, if'n yah want me ta." "You have no idea how much that would mean to me." He said, smiling at me. "Thank you." "Ain't nothin ta it. Ah think the owner might be here at the Gala. I could probably hook yah up right now." -/-/-/ "So what happened after that?" Soarin inquired, Streusel sitting on his lap. "After that Ah introduced him ta Pa, Pa gave him a job, Haas worked at the farm for ten years before he had enough courage ta ask mah dad ta marry me." Soarin was about to reply when a huge crash came from the kitchen, and out stumbled Applejack, clutching her side. "Foal's comming."