Keys clattering to the table was the only indication Stewart had returned home from work. His apartment silent, barren. He walked into the kitchen. Cupcake mix... boxes of it, all stacked on the counter in the shape of a little house.
“Good afternoon, Pinkie!” Stewart said, smiling to the plastic figure. “Am I glad to be home, you’ll never believe the day I had...” He sighed sadly and gently picked up the toy on the way into the living room.
Stewart slumped into his office chair, lazily spinning to face the picture on the wall. He looked for a long while. The picture was familiar; His OC hopping along with a pink cotton-candy maned pony. Pinkie Pie. “If only.” He thought, smirking at the idea as he turned to face the Pinkie Pie figure he placed by his monitor.
“What a thought, eh Pinkie?” He clicked the Chrome icon and proceeded to check the days events.
After some time sitting at the computer, Stewart had moved to the couch to watch TV. “Heck yeah, Pinkie, ‘A Friend in Deed!’ Wanna sing with me?” He looked at the toy , then back at the TV, beaming.
As the episode progressed he sang along with the songs, even rattled off a few of the lines. To someone that doesn't know him, he would seem crazy, but to all of his friends on BronyNet, this was normal Stewart. They all loved him for who he was, and besides, its his favorite episode, everybrony sings or says the lines of his favorite pony.
After the episode Stewart told Pinkie Pie all about his day, the good, bad, and just plain odd things that happened around the office earlier in the day. Somehow he felt as if the plastic figure could hear him, and understand what all was happening, then again, its bound to happen when you work at a soul-sucking cubical farm like he did...
After what seemed like forever, Stewart noticed the time, 11:37PM. “Woah, Pinkie, I gotta get to bed so I can wake up in time to see tomorrow's episode!” He took Pinkie to his room and sat her on the dresser, and excitedly hopped into bed.
You know those nights, when all you can think about is the next day, and you can’t sleep at all...? Stewart fell asleep almost instantly. You’d think with the new episode, and it being the weekend, one would stay up until the early morning doing who knows what. Not tonight though, sleep took him quickly and the room around him faded to black.
He woke suddenly to a loud gasp and a familiar sound. “uggh... is that...?” His sentence cut short by a blast of confetti and streamers.
“Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!”
“Gah!” Stewart looked at this pony in disbelief, “You’re...”
“HI! I'm Pinkie Pie! Welcome to...”
“Ponyville?” His jaw slowly dropped, he rose to his feet... err, hooves.
He looked down and realized he was looking at blue legs, and where his hands should be... two hooves. The same sight greeted him when he looked back, only, he saw the white computer mouse on his flank. The only thing he could manage was a small peep. His voice cracked and he looked back at Pinkie. “What. The. Hay.”
“Who are YOU? I know everypony around here, and I've never seen YOU! That means you’re new!”
“S-Stewart. I’m Stewart.” “He looked in her blue eyes and sighed softly. “So... AWESOME!”
“Sooooo... What brings you to Ponyville?!” She said, eyes wide and full of excitement
“I... I’m not sure, really.” He said, looking around at the world around him, trying to take in what was going on.
“Come with me!” Pinkie said, and sprung into the air and happily bounced toward the town.
Stewart wobbled a bit, and started to walk. He didn’t make it too far before stumbling. “Pinkie, I uh..” He took another step forward, “Wait... I. Yeah I got this!” It was surprisingly easy to get used to walking as a pony, he thought, once he took his mind off of all this.
“Come on silly colt!” Pinkie called back, oblivious to Stewart’s little mistake, thank Celestia.
After catching up to Pinkie Pie, Stewart looked around at all the ponies around him, most, were just going about their daily tasks. A few ponies were sharing tables, and looked rather familiar. “Woah, so they really are together?” Looking directly at a mint-green pony and one that he could only assume was Bon-Bon, as they sipped the same drink. He crashed violently into Pinkie, who abruptly stopped.
“Gah, I'm sorry!” He said loudly. Pinkie stared dead-ahead at a rather fantastically sized gingerbread house.
“That is HUGE!” In the blink of an eye Pinkie was inspecting the house from every angle, before leaving 10 bits on the counter, and seemed to teleport back to Stewart’s side.
“Isn’t it amazing? i saw it and decided it would be the most amazingly amazing welcome gift in the whole wide world!”
“Y...You really didn’t have to, Pinkie.”
“I know!” she exclaimed while messing his mane with her hoof. “Why were you sleeping in the bushes, Stew?”
Stewart looked confused for a moment, “Oh, yeah, I love sleeping in the bushes... I really like... the twigs.” Stewart laughed nervously.
Pinkie laughed and smiled, “Good one!”
“Whew,” He thought, “That's a start Stew.”
“OHHHHH!” Pinkie hopped into the air and seemed to fly to a near by ice cream stand. “I’ll take a tub of ice cream!” The ice cream pony more than happily took her bits in trade for the container of frozen cream, he even tossed in a bag of cherries for free! Stewart got an idea.
“Pinkie! Want to see some magic?”
“Are you loco in the coco? Earth ponies can’t do MAGIC, duh.”
“Watch me! I need that ice cream and the cherries!” He took the bag in his mouth and Pinkie set the ice cream on the ground by his hooves.
“Ice cream magic? That sounds REALLY fun!” Exclaimed Pinkie, a mile-wide smile painting her face.
Stewart picked up a cherry and placed it under the lid of the ice cream, then gently standing on it with one hoof. “Now, watch closely!” Stewart looked up to the sky, readjusted his mouth and looked back down at Pinkie, but to his surprise she was a lot closer than he realized. Pinkie had pulled her head back a bit and looked up at Stewart, who was still standing on the Ice cream.
“Ta-da?” He said around the cherry clenched in his teeth. Pinkie tried to hide a giggle, but Stewart saw something in her eyes. That something made him look away and eat the cherry, trying to play it off.
Pinkie happily hopped to his side again, “How in Equestria did you get the cherry out of the tub?” She was shaking the tub ferociously, trying to remove the lid.
“I had two cherries. Hid one in my mouth, and the other is still in there, but uh, I think I closed it a bit too well. Let me try!”
He awkwardly held the container in his hooves and bit at the edges of the lid. Stewart looked rather odd chewing a plastic container, Pinkie broke into laughter and rolled on the ground next to him. Finally Stewart gave up and just sat. Pinkie gathered herself and wiped tears from her big blue eyes. “You’re great Stew!” She chimed.
After several hours of talking, laughing, and even pranking a few of the local ponies, Pinkie and Stewart ended up walking on the trail used for the “Running of the Leaves” every year. Pinkie, hopping along as usual with Stewart close behind, confidently cantering down the dirt path.
“Stew, Where do you live at?” Pinkie asked in an oddly calm tone, “I can tell you don’t really live around here...”
“I um... Its really hard to explain Pinkie. I live... well. I think it’s a long way away.”
“So you sleep in bushes far away from your house...?” She asked jokingly, but the unusual calmness of her voice reassured him that she was serious.
“I live here Pinkie. I’m looking for a place near here to live.” He said with a smile and a nod.
Pinkie Pie just looked at him, he face slowly turning into the biggest smile in all of Equestrian history. “You can stay with the Cakes and I! I’m sure we have an extra room you can stay in for a few days!”
“Gosh Pinkie... I..”
“Just let your good pal Pinkie Pie handle this, silly pony.” She said as she placed a hoof to her head in a salute. The pink pony wrapped her leg around his and pulled him along playfully. “Hi-ho, hi-ho. Off to Pinkie’s house we go!”
Stewart was happy.
Pinkie burst through the door with a smile that can only be described as unnatural. Stewart entered the building without such a scene, and followed Pinkie up the stairs to the bedrooms.
Pinkie stopped and gasped loudly, looking at a note taped to her door.
“Dear Pinkamina,
Mrs. Cake, the foals and I, have been booked to cater an event for the Princesses. We will be staying in Canterlot for the remainder of the week. Keep watch on the store, and don’t burn the place down please.
~Mr. Cake”
“Stewart! Do you know what this means...?”
“Um... no?”
“We can make a couch fort! I’ll get the blankets and pillows, go... find the room with the fireplace!”
“Alrighty then!” Stewart laughed and shook his head. “Cool! When I shake my head my mane shakes too!”
Stew wandered off to find the living room. He passed a few doors that had notes addressed to Pinkie, most of them telling her not to enter. He could see why though, she did tend to... well, enter a room. Actually, more like kick the door in and fly inside. Stewart found a large open room with a couch and chair, and a large fireplace. Shortly after finding the room, Pinkie Pie lept from behind the couch and tackled Stewart in a mess of blankets and legs and cotton-candy mane.
“Gottchya silly colt!” Pinkie giggled.
“ I was... admiring the...” Stewart was interrupted when Pinkie poked his nose with her hoof and said “Boop!”
“I got you again!” She wiggled her way out of the mess of blankets and stood on her hind legs, “Pinkie is mastah of stealth!”
Stewart blinked and she was gone. “Shes kinda cute when she does that.” Stew laughed inside his head and started to build a fort out of the blankets. “You’ll never get me in here Pinkie!” He set up some couch cushions and pillows as walls, and a blanket over the top. “Oh Pinkie? Come out, come out!”
Pinkie watched Stew build the fort, set up the blanket and try to hide inside his ‘castle’ all from right behind him. She ducked low and crept up behind him, a board creaked, Pinkie’s ears perked up just as Stewart turned around fast.
The ponies were statues, neither moved or dared breathe.
Pictures can say a thousand words, but so could Pinkie. Yet... Stewart couldn’t help but wonder how he managed to leave the pinkie pony speechless. “It’s now or never Stew, go for it.” Stewart slowly leaned in, closed his eyes and kissed the filly. “ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh!” Stewart’s mind raced, the day’s events were all quite strange, but felt right. Feeling Pinkie kiss him back, and pull him into a warm embrace, was almost too much for him to comprehend, that didn’t matter now, though. Stewart had rendered her silent, and with a kiss, said more than she had all day.
Stewart opened his eyes slowly. Confused, he looked around the room, he knew this room. The bed underneath him felt familiar... It was his own. He looked around the room and sighed heavily. No Pinkie... No Equestria... Just home. “This, Pinkie, is where I live...” He said softly, a single tear falling down his cheek.
Stewart slowly rose and sulked his way to the computer. He sat down and spun to face the picture, and to his surprise, It wasn’t the same picture but the picture was of a blue pony with a brown shaggy mane, nose to nose with a pink, cotton-candy maned pony... Stewart smiled, and once again clicked the chrome icon as he did a thousand times before.
On today’s schedule was ponies, there was a new episode out today; “Pinkie Stew” This episode was supposed to be Pinkie teaching the Cutie-Mark Crusaders to cook, and as the timer on the live-stream channel counted down, Stewart’s smile grew.
The episode started out at Zecora’s hut. As we enter the hut, we see the Cutie-Mark Crusaders stirring a large pot. Zecora and Pinkie Pie walk to the large pot and toss in some carrots and daisies.
“Time for us two, to taste this large stew.” Zecora rhymed.
“I love Stew!” Pinkie chimed, then without missing a beat, looked back to the fourth wall and gave a wink.