The Great Switcheroo

by JimmyZD


Crisis

Twilight Sparkle bit her lip in concentration, delicately placing the last chocolate swirl atop of the mountainous piece of confectionery before her.

"Finished!"

She regarded her creation - a completed Chocolate Gateux Supreme. Having followed the instructions in the cookbook provided by the Cakes' extensive collection, she had created a 100% accurate replica of the illustration on the page for the cake's recipe. Casting her gaze between the image and the actual cake, she allowed herself to soak in its magnificence, and let out a satisfied sigh.

If only she could smell her creation in its freshly-baked glory - but the clothespeg on her muzzle went some way to stopping that. But of course, if not for it, then the diabolical odor permeating throughout the whole bakery would've surely suffocated her by now.

Twilight's thoughts returned to those two cutesy-wutesy little baby Cakes, and a little shiver consumed the unicorn as she remembered back to the battle of wits she'd lost hopelessly to the two toddlers. It had been an ordeal in equal parts terrifying, ridiculous, and humiliating - it had played out exactly like a cheap horror movie, in other words. And if fighting against powerful magic surges was a fairly common occurrence for new unicorn parents, then she Pinkie-Pie-swore to herself never to have kids of her own.

She theorized that if Pumpkin Cake was smart and powerful enough to levitate a fully-grown unicorn out of a second-storey window, then she was smart and powerful enough to change her own diapers.

Presently there was a knock at the door.

Twilight's horn lit up. Arming herself with a frying pan, she got ready to fend off a hungry white rabbit, and very cautiously opened the door.

"Good afternoon, Miss Sparkle! How well did you cope with the bab—"

However, before Mr Cake could complete his sentence, he and his wife caught a brief but overpowering whiff of a frankly appalling smell.

"Sweet rainbow mane of Celestia! What is that stench?!" he exclaimed, shielding his nostrils with both forelegs.

Twilight's horn glowed for a split second, and she compressed the wooden peg into a singularity, erasing it from existence.

"What smell?"

"I... think I have some idea..." Mrs Cake whispered weakly.

Realization struck Mr Cake, and he turned to the lilac unicorn, who spluttered involuntarily as the odor entered her muzzle. Clutching her nose with a hoof, she emitted an embarrassed squeak.

"Oh... that smell! That's mighty strange - how did I not notice it sooner?"

"Twilight," Mr Cake asked sternly. "Do you mean to tell us the bakery has stunk of unchanged baby diaper for the last hour or so?"

"Umm... I guess I... I just..." Twilight fumbled for an excuse, opting to avoid with every ounce of her strength the temptation to inform the Cakes how their only-a-few-months-old children were malicious murderers in the making who would make an amazing tag team in the "defenestration" event in the Ponylympics.

Mrs Cake stepped forward. "Twilight, we're very grateful for the help you've done for us... I mean, the cake looks perfect, deary, but..."

"How many customers have turned up since... that smell started?" inquired Mr Cake.

The unicorn's eyes wandered briefly. "Umm... zero."

"I am entirely unsurprised." Mr Cake huffed and hobbled off in the direction of the playroom, struggling to walk slightly as he still had to hold his nose from the eye-watering whiff with one hoof.

Mrs Cake addressed Twilight. "I think you've done very well with the cake, Miss Sparkle," she said, showing no small amount of admiration for the towering gateaux. "But what do you think customers are going to think when they walk into an establishment that smells of... well, soiled diapers? Which, if I may add, can even be smelt from well outside the building?"

Twilight looked at the floor in shame as Mrs Cake continued. "I think now that you've filled in this order, deary, we'll pack it up and send it on its way..." There was a small pause as Mrs Cake let out a sigh. "We won't be needing your services for the rest of today."

Twilight's face drooped, and her mauve eyes began to tear up. "Oh, this is going to sully my reputation with you, isn't it?" she blubbered, crestfallen. "You won't ever ask for my help again!"

"No, no..." Mrs Cake comforted. "We've got some big tasks to take care of over the next few days, so we could still use some assistance about the place with Pinkie Pie gone. Just... if you have any doubts about what we ask of you, just mention them."

Twilight nodded slowly.

"Why didn't you change the babies, deary?" Mrs Cake asked the unicorn.

Twilight hesitated.

"With the greatest respect, Mrs Cake... your children are Tartarus-spawn."


"Oh, Angel. What am I going to do?"

As the desperate yellow pegasus fretted, her pet rabbit hopped onto the windowsill, and indicated Twilight's library with a stern look on his fluffy little face. Fluttershy looked over and considered his opinion, then slowly nodded in agreement.

"...You're right! There's no point in prolonging this any further! I'm going to have to own up to Rarity that I... had to remake the dress from scratch."

Saying it out loud renewed an overwhelming sense of dread in the shy yellow pegasus. "Ooohhh... she'll be completely appalled... she might never trust me with her dresses again..."

Fluttershy flumped onto her haunches, ready to break into a desperate sob.

"I lied to my friends. And now I'm going to have to admit it. Oh... why do I always end up in these situations? Even when I try to do the right thing!"

Angel bounded over, pulling out a hoofkerchief and drying her eyes and brow with it.

"But it's better that I do it now and save poor Rarity twice as much devastation later on. Heck, she might not be that angry. She might understand completely why I told her that lie."

Fluttershy turned around and glimpsed at the horrendous dress she'd been working on non-stop for the last five hours... and wished she hadn't.

"There's no easy way out. I'm gonna have to show her what I've done to her beautiful design. It's the right thing to do, right? I have to do the right thing - for me, for Rarity, for Twilight, for all my friends. Darn it, for Celestia!"

The pegasus wiped her eyes again, stood up, and put on her bravest face, staring intensely at the new dress. "Angel, dear, find something with wheels I can put this on. We're going to show it to Rarity!"

Her moment of bravery was interrupted by a sharp knock at the... window? Fluttershy trotted over to it, opened it, and saw her friend Rainbow Dash hovering just outside it.

"Hey Fluttershy! Emergency meeting at the library! Got a major problem on our hooves!"

Fluttershy squeaked nervously. "Oh, dear - how major?"

An ominous roll of thunder startled both the pegasi. Rainbow pointed up at the churning sky above.

"Pretty major!"

Fluttershy gulped. "Umm... Angel? Be a dear and stay here for a little while, would you?" And with that, the two ponies flittered off in the direction of Twilight's library. Angel was left groaning and clutching his stomach, as it audibly reminded him that it had still not been fed all day.


"Hmm. That's peculiar. The pegasi didn't say anything about a thunderstorm today," mused Twilight Sparkle, peering up towards the sky as another crash of thunder rumbled over Ponyville.

"Twahlight! Twahlight!" came a high-pitched voice from behind her.

"Oh, hello there, Apple Bloom!" said the unicorn brightly, before noticing the filly's panicked expression and rapid breathing. "...What's the matter?" Between pants, Apple Bloom managed to tell the unicorn exactly what had her so worried.

"Ah've just come all the way back to Ponyville from Sweet Apple Acres! You an' the girls need to know what's goin' on! Rainbow Dash told me that Pinkie Pie's up in Cloudsdale - and she's messin' with the weather!"

Twilight's mind started brimming with questions. Pinkie Pie in Cloudsdale? Messing with the weather? Was this what Apple Bloom was so terrified about? ...And what was that sickly sweet smell invading her nostrils?

"Well, that would explain why it's suddenly gotten so stormy..." the lilac unicorn conceded. "But what's she doing there? Why is this important?"

"Just wait..."

Twilight directed her gaze back to the formation of clouds above Ponyville. They were certainly no ordinary clouds... there was an odd tinge of color to them... an orangey-brown. She sniffed the air. There was definitely some other scent in it aside from the standard "it's-about-to-rain" smell. An overpowering aroma of... chocolate.

A drip of something splashed onto her horn, making her wince. It trickled down her face, over her muzzle and onto her tongue. As the sweet taste of it registered with her, the unicorn's pupils shrank in realization.

"...Ah."

Two more ponies suddenly flew down to meet Twilight Sparkle. "We've got a big problem, Twi!" shouted Rainbow Dash as another bout of chocolate thunder rolled in.

"Ah just told her, Rainbow," said Apple Bloom, nodding to indicate Twilight's expression of silent shock. "Did ya manage to fly over to Fluttershy's t' get mah sister?"

"Umm, 'fraid not, kid."


"GIVE ME BACK MAH HAT, YA SNAGGLE-TOOTHED GOOD-F'R-NOTHIN'!" yelled Applejack, holding the branch she'd managed to detach from the tree she was still clinging to, and jabbing it threateningly in the face of Freddie, who roared up at her in reply.

"AH'LL HOOK IT OFF YOUR BUCK-UGLY FACE IF AH HAVE TO!" she roared back, only inciting further rage from the grizzly bear cub.

"WHEN AH CATCH YOU AN' THAT GREEDY LITTLE WHITE FUZZBALL THAT BEAT ME UP, YER BOTH GONNA BE IN FER A WORLD OF HURT!"


"She looked... uhh... a little busy," the blue pegasus said sheepishly.

Fluttershy turned to her. "What exactly is going on, Rainbow?"

Rainbow Dash turned to her friend and looked her right in the eyes, regret overtaking her expression. "I asked Pinkie Pie to take my place on the weather team yesterday. She's found a way to make it actually rain chocolate rain! Celestia knows what else she's got planned!"

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, girls..." said Twilight, as calmly as she could. "So Pinkie Pie just found some way to make it rain chocolate. That's normal for her! It could've even been an accident! It can't be any worse than this, right?"

All of a sudden, a chill in the wind ruffled Twilight's coat and made her shiver. Something small and chunky fell from the sky and caught her in the eye. "Ow!"

The two pegasi and the earth filly looked down at the object while Twilight nursed her throbbing eye. Rainbow Dash picked it up, sniffed it, and promptly threw it into her mouth.

"Yup. Chocolate," she said as she munched.

"Oh, dear..." murmured Fluttershy. "So... as well as chocolate rain... we're now getting..."

"CHOCOLATE HAILLLLL!" screamed another pony from behind the four friends. Immediately the residents of Ponyville started shrieking in terror.

"DISCORD HAS RETURNED!" cried another voice.

"IT'S THE END OF DAYS!" yelled another.

"THE HORROR, THE HORROR!"

Suddenly the town square became a battleground. Ponies were diving past one another in a frantic bid to get back to their homes and lock themselves away from the chaotic weather. The rain was pouring down harder now, forming giant chocolate puddles in the road, and the chocolate hailstones were also falling in greater succession. One villager bumped into Twilight and sent her crashing down into one such puddle as he galloped carelessly past.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAASORRYMA'AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"

"EVERYPONY RELAX!" Twilight cried out to the ensemble of screaming villagers, hopping onto the steps of Town Hall to attempt to garner their attention. "THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR ALARM! DISCORD HAS NOT RETURNED! THE WEATHER IS MERELY A RESULT OF..." at this point, she hesitated, "...SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES."

"Twilight, we've gotta talk," Rainbow interjected, after the purple pony's public parlaying to the panicked Ponyvillians proved pointless. "Is Rarity still at your library?"

"I think so."

"Good - we need as many of us as possible. Two of us can't make it for obvious reasons, but we can't waste any more time! Come on, let's go!"

The three friends all galloped back to the Ponyville library, with Apple Bloom in tow.


"I had absolutely no part in this, I swear," squeaked Sweetie Belle nervously.

"I can attest," added Scootaloo. "She was like this when we got here, honest to Celestia."

Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy and Apple Bloom continued to stare.

"Uh, yeah," Spike said matter-of-factly. "Nothin' to do with me. All her idea."

"Are you all quite done staring yet?" asked Rarity huffily, laying nonchalantly on the couch with a cup of hot tea as if things were perfectly normal.

Rainbow Dash's eyes were every bit as wide and round as saucers, and she was heroically suppressing a hearty guffaw.

Twilight Sparkle's jaw had fallen to the floor, and her face was twitching involuntarily as her brain struggled to process what her eyes were telling it.

Fluttershy simply quivered and stammered, unable to collect her voice. The interrelations between her mind and mouth had all but ceased. "G...g...g..."

Twilight filled in for her in a tiny, nigh-inaudible squeak. "Green."

Rarity leaned forward. "I... didn't quite catch that, darling."

"GREEN!" Twilight screamed, immediately stopping her mouth with a hoof.

The white unicorn rolled her eyes. "Oh, is that what has you all gawking like Quarray eels?"

Rainbow Dash could contain herself no longer. "BWAAAH HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA!" She dropped to her knees and beat helplessly against the wooden floor of Twilight's house with her hooves, her entire body convulsing with fits of uncontrollable laughter.

Rarity frowned at the reactions of her three friends. "Honestly, I'm disappointed in you three. Can't a girl make a fashion statement without being judged? So what if it this is different to my usual look?" She proudly twirled a bang of perfectly straight lime green hair across her face.

"It's... just so... odd, Rarity," Apple Bloom quipped, who had stayed perfectly silent for the last minute (probably for the best). "Ah mean, it's different an' all... in fact ah'd almost say it kinda suits you... but what really confuses me is... the glasses. With the tape holdin' em together."

The two ponies who were still standing nodded and agreed that this was a very good point. Why had Rarity suddenly decided to start sporting such a... nerdy look? Those glasses were nothing like the elegant little pince-nez that the unicorn wore while she was working on a dress. These monstrosities had thick black rims and no lenses. They were little more than an accessory... and a rather terrible one at that.

"To be honest, it's the socks I don't get," mumbled Twilight.

"Yes, definitely the socks," said Fluttershy, nodding her head hastily.

"Oh, come on!" shouted Rarity indignantly, "I was getting cold! They aren't even part of my new look!"

"That's understandable..." said Twilight. "But even so..."

"Green and yellow stripey socks?!" shouted Rainbow, laughter still choking her. "Rarity, you have flipped!"

"Ah think we're losin' track o' the real issue here," said Apple Bloom. "Rainbow, we should really tell them what's been goin' on for the last day that they've been unaware of."

The cyan pegasus finally sat up, clutching hold of her aching, winded stomach, and tried to regain her composure. She choked back the final remnants of her mirth, and wiped her watering eyes with both forehooves. "Yeah, you're right, kid, aha..." she spluttered. "In all seriousness, some really bad mess is goin' down, guys. Have you looked outside?"

"Yeah, I was wonderin' about that, too," replied Spike, clambering up onto a windowsill. "As far as I know, the weather team haven't scheduled a storm for at least another week."

"That's because Pinkie Pie is making it rain chocolate hail," stated Apple Bloom.

"What, like real chocolate?" asked Spike, wide-eyed.

"Yup, she's on weather duty in Cloudsdale right now, apparently," continued the filly.

Spike was out of the door in a flash.

"Whatever is Pinkie Pie doing up in Cloudsdale?" Rarity inquired, shocked.

"She's doing a... favor... for Rainbow," explained Fluttershy.

"Yeah," replied Rainbow Dash. "I got asked by Applejack to do some chores on her farm yesterday because she was looking over Fluttershy's animals." The yellow pegasus recoiled at the mention of her name.

"It was pretty destructive," said Apple Bloom. "Ah reckon you ripped up a good dozen trees with that Rainboom of yours, Dash."

Dash coughed, and attempted to return to the original subject. "...But I had some pretty heavy duties to perform on the weather team, so I asked Pinkie Pie to fill in for me. I thought I could trust her not to do anything stupid."

"And that's why she asked me to fill in for her at Sugarcube Corner!" added Twilight. "Which, I might add, was a nightmare. Do not try to reason with the Cakes' kids. They will murder you." She punctuated this sentiment by craning her neck forward and giving her friends the best death-stare she could muster. Although she was being entirely serious, her onlookers remained unconvinced, and, sensing this, Twilight gave a nervous chuckle, and then resumed the previous subject.

"Uh, and of course, I asked you to look over the library this morning, Rarity..."

"...and I asked Fluttershy to finish that Gala dress of yours, Twilight," Rarity said slowly, the look on her face evidencing that she was gradually coming to terms with the enormity of the situation. "So that means..." At this point she raised her ridiculous, oversized spectacles from her muzzle. "Mother of Celestia..."

"Not one of us is doing what they normally do," concluded Twilight.

Presently, Spike stumbled back into the library, rubbing his forehead with a claw. "Forget that. The hail's far too heavy out there," he said painfully to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle snickered quietly.

"Why, it's as if we've gone in a neat little circle!" Rarity chirped, clapping her sockbound front hooves together in glee. "Oh, isn't that just delightful?"

"It would be, except for the fact that Ponyville is starting to look like one of Spike's dreams about you," Twilight said scornfully.

Rarity glanced over at Spike, whose face went beet-red. "How in the hay do you know about my dreams?" he demanded.

"Easy - you're a terrible somniloquist, Spike," chuckled Twilight.

"Gesundheit," commented Rainbow Dash.

Fluttershy suddenly spoke up. "I'm sorry! This is all my fault! I shouldn't have talked Applejack into babysitting my animals. I think I ended up asking too much of her, anyway."

Twilight put a foreleg around the sad little pegasus and spoke soothingly. "It's nopony's fault, Fluttershy. The circumstances were just unfortunate. We all had important duties to perform..."

"Yes," affirmed Rarity. "It's only a testament to our friendship that we stay so loyal to one another in times of need!"

Rainbow Dash suddenly remembered something. "Uh oh. I, uhh... I think I'd better check that Applejack's getting on alright with that bear."

"Oh, no!" Fluttershy gasped in alarm. "She forgot to play with Freddie, didn't she?"

"I dunno," Rainbow Dash shrugged. "All I saw was a bear that didn't look one bit happy. He'd chased her up a tree and she was trying to shoo him off with a branch. But don't you worry, Fluttershy! I'll hold him off - you don't need to worry about AJ!"

"To be honest, it's the bear I'm more worried about," the primrose pegasus admitted, "...you know what Applejack can be like when she has to defend herself."

Rainbow Dash considered this. "...Yeah, good point. Alright, girls, see ya later." With that, the brash blue pegasus took off into the air.

"Wait for me!" called out Fluttershy. She turned to the two unicorns. "I... think I'd better go, too - Freddie only really listens to me. And then I'd, umm, better check on Angel," said Fluttershy before flying off to catch up with her airborne friend.

Twilight, Rarity and Spike were left in the library with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Well, isn't this a fine how-do-you-do," said Rarity. "I mean, you couldn't really make it up, could you? Who would have ever thought that a flying pig would come crashing through my window, send me into shock, limit me to the library, have Fluttershy fixing fabrics, Applejack ordering around animals, Rainbow ripping up apple trees, Pinkie pouring chocolate precipitation onto Ponyville, and you getting tossed around by toddlers, Twilight?"

"Whoever decided that all that should happen probably has a very sick mind," said Twilight with a frown. "Either that, or they're just downright clumsy."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders exchanged worried glances as they huddled together. "What are we gonna do, girls?" asked Scootaloo in a whisper.

"Emergency CMC meeting, that's what. To the clubhouse!" decided Apple Bloom.

They all nodded in agreement of their next course of action. Sweetie Belle turned to address the elder ponies. "Well! We've, uh, got a lot of crusading to catch up on!" she said, with a certain nervousness in her voice as her eyes inadvertently fell onto her bizarrely-dressed sister again.

"Yep! Here's the book you wanted, Twilight," added Scootaloo, fishing the incinerated Almanac out of her cart and laying it down - perhaps not quite as carefully as she could have, as a pume of burned parchment spewed forth from its tarnished pages.

"We'll be in the clubhouse if ya need us again, Twi!" called Apple Bloom, as she and Sweetie jumped into the little red cart lying beside Twilight's door. Scootaloo clambered onto her scooter and donned her safety helmet.

"Be back here by dinnertime, Sweetie!" called out Rarity as the three fillies bolted off hastily into the pouring chocolate hailstorm outside.

The library interior was silent as Twilight glanced at the charred tome lying before her, and a sinking feeling overcame her as she stared solemnly down, observing its almost unrecognizable remains.

"It's okay! This isn't a big problem," she finally said, more to herself than anyone else, but the falseness of her self-reassurance was evident. "I'm sure I have a restoration spell somewhere. Spike! Can you find one for me?"

"Uhh... Twilight, wouldn't it be best if you dealt with the chocolate hail first?" replied the dragon, staring out of the window at the storm as it continued to rage on outside.

"Yes, he's right, dear," said Rarity. "You wouldn't want all of Ponyville to be thrown into a panic, now, would you?"

"Probably a little too late for that, now," the purple unicorn muttered. "I suppose I'd better find that failsafe spell I learnt when we had our first chocolate storm. Help me find that, Spike."

"Can't I get some lunch ready? I'm starving."

"Spike. Fixing Ponyville's weather cycles is slightly more important than lunch."

Spike sighed. "You got it, sis."


"Down there, Fluttershy!" shouted Rainbow Dash above the din of the stormy wind ripping through her mane as they both soared over Fluttershy's cottage.

"Oh, dear..." the yellow pegasus murmured nervously. "Rainbow, let me deal with Freddie, you can go get Applejack!"

"Sounds like a plan," replied Rainbow Dash, nodding.

"Fluttershy! Rainbow!" called Applejack from her branch. "Thank Celestia!"

Rainbow began her descent towards the tree in Fluttershy's garden, which was slowly being torn to pieces by the enraged bear cub. "Don't worry, Applejack! I'm comi— whoa!"

As soon as she came within clawing distance of Freddie, he lunged out at her, roaring menacingly. The pegasus arched sharply back into the sky, and hovered nervously above the ground.

"Fluttershy! Maybe you'd better take care of this!"

"Just distract him! Somehow! Anyhow!" yelled Applejack, swinging to and fro on her branch. "Ah gave him mah hat and that twig, but he jus' wouldn't—"

SNAP!

"—back off...?"

Applejack's eyes widened in terror as her eyes caught a glimpse of the state of her branch. "Oh, ponyfeathers."

The branch snapped again, sagging under the stress of her weight, bringing her closer to the base of the now thoroughly shredded tree, and well within Freddie's reach.

"HE-ELP! HEY! OVER HERE!" she screamed over the howling wind.

In an instant her world became a blur, as she was somehow whisked into the air through the pouring chocolate rain. She felt a pair of hooves clutching tightly at her sides, then looked to meet with the face of Rainbow Dash smiling reassuringly at her.

"Gotcha."

Rainbow Dash did an impressive loop-the-loop, slowed her momentum, and landed on the roof of Fluttershy's cottage, setting Applejack carefully down beside her. The earth pony stumbled clumsily across the roof, looking decidedly unwell. "Land's sakes, Rainbow. Warn me next time you're gonna do that."

"Heheh. Sorry." The pegasus grinned sheepishly.

Applejack took a few deep breaths and wiggled her hooves to get her bearings straight. "But thanks, anyway... You... sorta saved mah life."

"All in a day's work. I never leave my friends hanging."

Applejack leaned towards Rainbow and clapped a forehoof firmly around her friend's back, bringing her in for a heartwarming (but rather soggy) hug. The pegasus returned the gesture.

In the midst of the moment, Applejack snorted, sniffing something... out of place. "Rainbow, why does your mane smell o'... chocolate?"

"Oh, right. That." Rainbow Dash broke from the hug and pointed a hoof at the cloud cover above Ponyville. Glancing up at the rolling brown clouds in the sky, Applejack suddenly became aware of how chocolatey everything smelled. The earth pony brought out her tongue and tasted the downpour.

"So... Discord's up to his old shenanigans, is that it?" she harrumphed, as if the disturbance of the Ponyville weather cycles as a side effect of the release of the Spirit of Chaos was at best a minor annoyance.

"Umm, not quite," Rainbow began.

A throaty roar from the ground brought their attention back to the danger they were still in.

"Long story. I'll let you know once we're outta this," she finished.

Freddie snarled again, and made a dash for the side of Fluttershy's cottage, clawing desperately up at them, but they were well out of his reach. His agitated thrashing was interrupted by the lightest of taps upon his shoulder.

"Umm... excuse me?"

He turned around to meet with the face of a small yellow pegasus pony.

"I couldn't help but notice that you seem very intent on ripping my friends to shreds. That's not nice, you know."

Applejack and Rainbow stared down, in awe of the epic conflict taking place just below them.

"That's not nice at all. You really think you're a big guy by doing that, don'tcha?" There was a snide assertiveness in her normally dulcet voice.

The bear snorted. Fluttershy furrowed her brow and smiled devilishly at him. She craned her neck sideways, which emitted a small popping sound.

"Well, come on, big fella. Come and get me."

Up on the roof, two jaws hit the thatched roof.

"What are ya... scared?" Fluttershy spread her hooves out and ducked into an aggressive pose, looking the bear dead in the face.

"Come at me, bear."

His patience worn out, Freddie broke into an enraged gallop, his bellows rumbling across the garden. Rainbow Dash and Applejack could only watch in amazement as the plucky yellow pegasus stood her ground.

"Ah sure hope she's got a plan."

"Me too."

Time seemed to pass in slow motion. Fluttershy didn't so much as wince as the bear charged full pelt towards her, drawing closer by the second. The two ponies on the roof leaned forward, their awe mounting fast and their throats dry from the rising tension.

Then, all of a sudden, a soft squeak erupted from below as the roaring bear barrelled into the pegasus and brought her tumbling to the soaking ground.

"Sweet ivory flank of Celestia!" cried Rainbow Dash.

The bear stood over the fallen pegasus and, crouching down, snarled threateningly in her face. Suddenly, two hooves shot out and grabbed him by the paws.

"Not... today...!" Fluttershy growled through clenched teeth, wrestling with all of her might against the bear's heavy paws.

Freddie pushed down on the pony's hooves, bringing them to the ground and allowing him to lean right over Fluttershy's body. Both fighters now lay on the ground, nose to nose, staring death into the other's eyes and growling intensely.

"Who's weak and helpless NOW, huh?!" screamed the pegasus.

"THAT'S IT!" came a cry from above.

In less than a second, Rainbow Dash was off the roof and flying straight towards the grizzly bear cub.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!"

A powerful mid-air kick to the face sent the bear tumbling uncontrollably across the garden, a howl of pain erupting from him.

Fluttershy gasped and stared as Freddie slumped onto his side, well and truly out for the count.

"Rainbow Dash... that was..."

"Amazing? Spectacular? Heroic?" the cyan pegasus suggested, with no small degree of smugness.

"Completely unnecessary!" Fluttershy finished. An anger rose in her voice again.

Rainbow's face fell. "Un...necessary?" she stammered.

"Of course! It's not play fighting if you knock him senseless!"

"Play... fighting?" The realization hit Rainbow Dash like a cartload of manure-covered bricks hitting a fan.

"Poor Freddie is a bear cub! Well, that is, he might be almost fully grown, but he's still harmless! It's built into his nature to fight like that!" She looked at Rainbow Dash forlornly. "He's an orphan. I'm the closest thing to a mother or sister or brother he has. He's full of adrenaline, and if he doesn't get to fight somepony, he fights anypony."

"So that's why you wanted me to 'play' with 'im," concluded Applejack solemnly.

"Exactly."

"Flutters... I'm so sorry. So so sorry," Rainbow mumbled, now appalled at her own behavior. "I had no idea. I thought he was going to kill you."

"Well, you nearly killed him with that kick," chided Fluttershy. "You and Applejack are going to need to bandage him up and put him to bed, now, and apologize to him for being so brash."

With that, the yellow pegasus launched herself into the air. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go and show a dress to Rarity..." Brushing the worst of the chocolate-mud-mixture from her coat, she flittered off towards the center of Ponyville. "...which she'll hate..." she muttered under her breath.

"Play fighting?! UGH! Darn it all!" growled Rainbow Dash, hitting herself in the face with a hoof in despair.

"Yeah, Rainbow, Ah don't mean to bother you or anythin'... but could ya perhaps lower me off this roof? Ah'm gettin' a mite wet up here."


"Was it this book, Twilight? All-Purpose Antidotes and Assistants for All Ailments and Afflictions?" asked Spike.

"No, no, NO!" replied an irate Twilight.

A book went flying over Spike's head as the unicorn tossed it over her shoulder. "Whoa! Alright!" he shouted. "Don't take it out on me!"

"I'm not taking it out on anypony!" the unicorn snarled, turning her head. "You just happen to be in the way all the time!"

"How am I supposed to not be in the way? Just calm the hay down, Twi," Spike replied. "I mean, do you wanna give me two black eyes?" He pointed a claw to his bruised face.

"Oh, quit your whining and help me look for this darned book! And you, Rarity!"

Twilight stopped and looked at the white unicorn lying nonchalantly on the couch, idly perusing one of the hundreds of magical volumes that they had been searching for the last half-hour.

"Rarity... why are you wearing two pairs of glasses?"

This was true. Rarity had her reading glasses on, but had for some reason chosen not to take her ludicrous, thick-rimmed, tape-fastened spectacles off.

"Well, why not?" came the reply.

"Ugh! Never mind. Just stop reading and please help me—"

Rarity's ears suddenly twitched. "Twilight, did you hear something?"

"Umm, knock knock?"

The purple unicorn turned her head from the bookshelves she'd been scanning painstakingly for the book containing the failsafe spell. "Hear what?"

"Ummmmm... knock knock?"

"I daresay somepony is saying 'knock knock' behind your door."

"Aaah, that can be only one pony," Twilight said with a light giggle. "Only Fluttershy is friendly to household fixtures." She trotted towards the door.

"Don't open the door!" came a hushed but serious little voice from behind the door, making Twilight reel backwards in surprise.

"Fluttershy, is that you? Are you okay?" she asked with some uncertainty. "...Aren't you getting wet out there?"

"Umm, yes, but... it's just... I've brought the dress along with me."

"You... you brought Twilight's dress here?!" Rarity exclaimed. "Oh. Oh, my. Oh my oh my oh my." The unicorn's panicked eyes darted around the room and eventually fell on Twilight. "Er, Twilight, would you be a darling, and, um, shoo for a bit?"

"You... don't want me here, Rarity?" asked Twilight, undecided on whether to feel affronted or not.

"Not exactly here. I just... this dress is a super-duper-super-special surprise. Couldn't you just... tippy-trot into that cupboard over there and come out when Fluttershy leaves?"

Fluttershy had overheard this. "I won't be long! Promise!"

Rarity leaned over to Twilight, stopping inches away from her face and pouting desperately. "Pweeeease?"

Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed. "Alright... if I must."

She opened the understairs cupboard door with her magic, trotted in, and shut the door behind her.

"Alright, Fluttershy, you can come in now!"

A shy squeak came from behind the door. "Alright, I'm coming in."

...

Fluttershy entered the library towing a four-wheeled trolley, on which lay a mannequin wearing the new gala dress. Angel was standing on the trolley, just under the protective cover. He pulled it off to reveal it to the unicorn on the couch.

"Oh. My word."

It was... something else. Gone was the shiny, metallic fabric that had comprised most it in its previous incarnation. Instead the ensemble was made up of several dark-ish and uninspiring shades of blue, grey and even green. The nocturnal color scheme was still there in a pinch, but the colors had all been sewn together in an almost patchwork style, with the individual sheets of fabric all being irregular shapes. The gorgeous purple trim was absent also - instead the edges of the dress were all comprised of a rainbow of greys, which ranged from pearl white to a dull tone that seemed to blend in with the lusterless military grey of the trolley.

Twilight's cutie mark was still emblazoned upon the hodge-podge of fabric, but not in its signature pink. Each of the six points of the star seemed to be a different hue entirely.

There was no mistake that Fluttershy had arranged the whole thing with the most extreme care and deliberation - the hems were stitched closely and with almost molecular precision. It was undeniably a dress... just... no dress that had really ever been made before. Ever.

For a short while, Rarity couldn't find her voice as she continued to gaze helplessly at the embroidery before her.

"Wow. You've... certainly added your own... touch," she eventually settled on.

"Please don't kill me please don't kill me please don't kill me!" whimpered the terrified pegasus, almost inaudibly.

"Oh, Fluttershy... darling." Rarity's voice was empty and far away.

The pegasus winced, fell to the floor behind the trolley, front hooves over her eyes, and quivered uncontrollably.

"It's... it's..."

Fluttershy couldn't bear to hear the verdict. She shut her eyes as tight as they could go and stretched her whole forelegs over her face to hide herself.

"It's... it's... absolutely fabulous!" Stars shone vividly in Rarity's eyes as she gasped in awe.

Fluttershy's eyes nearly popped out of her head. She stood up and shoved a hoof into an ear, attempting to dislodge whatever was in there that had surely twisted whatever Rarity had really just said into such a firm statement of approval.

"Are you... are you serious?" she spluttered in confusion.

"Yes, of course I'm serious! My my, this is a fashion statement if ever I saw one!"

"You're... not devastated that it looks hardly anything like the old— umm, I mean, the way it did before?"

"Oh, horseapples to the way it looked before. What was I thinking? Purple and blue? Why, the two just don't go together!"

"Umm... if you say so."

"I won't say too much about it, but only because Twilight's just in that cupboard and may overhear. But Fluttershy, this ensemble is simply divine. Marvellous! Stupendous! Magnifique! You've outdone yourself... I daresay you've outdone me." She couldn't help but add a little childish pout to this statement. "Please continue with it! I'm so eager to see the finished product to see what else you can do with it!"

"Umm, alright, Rarity! Th-thank you so much!"

"No - thank you, my darling."

"Alright! I'll... I'll be going now!" With that, the baffled pegasus turned around, motioning to Angel. The rabbit draped the cover back over the dress again and they both shuffled out of the library towards the boutique.

"You can come out now, Twilight!" chirped Rarity.

Almost immediately the cupboard flew open and Twilight Sparkle re-entered the room, glad to finally breathe fresh air again. "Thanks, it was starting to get stuffy in there."

"Sorry, darling. But you'll consider it a small price to pay when you finally see this dress!"

Twilight hoped to Celestia she would.


A few thousand feet above the ground, two pegasus ponies in factory uniform blistered through the air. Blue flashing lights adorned their helmets, alerting onlookers to keep well clear of their pursuit of a certain pink pony piloting the bizarre flying machine ahead of them.

"How is she even pedalling that fast?" shouted the orange pegasus, whose name was Cloud Fox.

"Probably all that sugar," replied his partner, Sky Falcon.

The two stallions grit their teeth and beat their wings furiously, increasing their speed. Pinkie Pie, whose legs were already a blur, went faster also.

"I said I was sorry! Can't I just go home?"

"Can't let you do that, earth pony!" yelled Sky Falcon.

The flying machine carrying the pink earth pony whirred loudly as it flew at high speed throughout Cloudsdale. Resident pegasus ponies stared at it, shortly before sealing themselves away in their homes in fear for their own safety.

"I just can't shake these guys!" Pinkie yelped to herself. A look of determination crossed her face as she focused all of her weight back in the seat of her flying machine. Slowly it started to tilt backward, and ascend into the atmosphere.

"She's climbing!" cried Cloud Fox.

The whirlygig continued to tilt backward until it appeared to be climbing completely vertically. The two pursuing pegasi watched in amazement as the flying machine continued to ascend into the clouds far above their heads, and sailed directly overhead in the opposite direction. They could only stare as the pony in the pilot seat appeared to be perfectly upside-down and yet did not seem to be affected by the universal law of gravitation.

"What the heck?!"

Pinkie Pie shot them a casual wave as she somersaulted sideways and continued flying in the opposite direction.

Sky Falcon stopped staring and flicked his silver mane out of his face. He growled. "No way! I don't believe it!"

He and Fox immediately resumed their pursuit, wings pumping furiously in an effort to regain the distance between them and Pinkie Pie.

"Hee hee! Those silly ponies!" giggled the mischievous mare, slowing her pedal and mopping her brow.

"Give it up! You can't win!" came a voice from behind her.

"Uh oh. Bogey on my tail!"

The pink pony's frantic pedalling pace picked up again, and she shot forward at a seemingly impossible rate. Further she climbed into the heavens, the pegasus pair behind her hot on her tail.

"She's going into the chocolate clouds!" exclaimed Cloud Fox. The two ponies spread their wings and glided upwards, eyes locked on the pink mare's contraption as it disappeared into the heaving mass of vaporous chocolate above Ponyville with a soft pomf. They stopped just in front of the entrance to the clouds.

"Is it safe to go in there, Fox?"

"I don't see why not. It's just chocolate, Falco."

With a simultaneous nod of agreement, both ponies plunged into the depths of the chocolate clouds.

"Oh, sweet sun-kissed rump of Celestia!"

"Fox! Are you okay?" Falco span his head to turn towards his friend, but he began to panic as he realized they couldn't see each other in the dense cloud.

"Oh! It's so sweet!" came a cry from his friend.

The other pony opened his mouth to call out in response, but as he did so, an overpowering sensation touched his tongue. At first he recoiled in shock as his tastebuds were assailed by the rich taste of sweet, sweet chocolate, but after he smacked his lips a few times, his unease dispelled, and he began to take in the full experience that was soon flooding his senses.

"Dear Luna. It's like I'm... tasting the air!" he squealed ecstatically as more chocolate raindrops filled his mouth.

"It's amazing!" shouted Cloud Fox in return.

"Isn't it just?!" cried out a certain high-pitched voice from deeper within the cloud.

The two pegasi snapped out of their reveries, and shot into the cloud in a bid to find the infernal pony that seemed to be outsmarting them at every turn. However, they were flying blind. They could barely see a few inches in front of them due to the thickness of the cloud.

"Falco! We need to regroup!" called out Fox to the sky-blue pony, who tilted his ears to meet with the sound of his cohort.

"Fox, I can't even see your helmet light!"

"I'm over here... follow the sound of my voice!"

As Falco flittered gingerly through the cloud, he couldn't help but hold his tongue out of his mouth like a panting dog, lapping up the chocolatey goodness of the cloud which was pouring onto it, making his tastebuds tingle with delight.

"Oh, this stuff is so good..."

"Over here, Falco!"

Falco followed the voice of his friend, but all the while he kept opening and closing his mouth like a demented guppy. "Um num num num num..."

"I think I can see you, Falco, just... man, this is some really good chocol—"

Suddenly, with a crash and a smack, two bodies smashed together.

"Ow!"

"Oof!"

Cloud Fox and Sky Falcon opened their eyes, and in horrific realization stared at one another.

Their mouths were locked.

"Ack!"

"EGH!"

They immediately broke away from each other, emitting noises of disgust and embarrassment. When they were done coughing and spluttering and wiping their mouths out with their forehooves, they stared at one another in awkward silence for a few seconds.

Eventually Sky Falcon coughed. "Uhh, heh... good chocolate, isn't it?"

"Let's just get after that stupid earth pony, Falco."

...

"Whew! I think I lost 'em," Pinkie Pie sighed as she exited the chocolate cloud. "I think I'd better make my way back to Ponyville."

No sooner had she relaxed, than the sun was suddenly blotted out above her. Glancing up, she could just about make out the silhouettes of two winged ponies chasing after her as they bore down on her flying machine. Forcing her weight downward again, Pinkie Pie now steadily increased her rate of descent.

"Drop altitude!" commanded Cloud Fox.

Pinkie Pie continued to spin all four of her hooves faster and faster, until one could scarcely make out that she had hooves at all. Her flying machine, now assisted by gravity, was descending at blinding speed.

Her pursuers were becoming fatigued, perspiration flying off of their foreheads. The blue-coated stallion turned to his friend. "Fox, are we gonna make it out of this one?"

Cloud Fox shot a glance to Sky Falcon. "Never give up, Falco. Trust your instincts."

Falco looked sheepishly at Fox. "Well... just in case we don't..."

A hoof shot to his mouth. "Finish that sentence and it will be the BIGGEST cli—"

The two pegasi were distracted suddenly by the whirlygig in front of them suddenly making an impossible mid-air maneuvre, shooting upwards into the sky, again the pilot defying the most fundamental laws of physics as she refused to tumble out of her seat.

"Sorry to jet, but I'm in a hurry!"

"Mother of Cele—"

It suddenly came to the attention of the two ponies that they were alarmingly close to ground - and still flying at a now unstoppable pace.

"OOOH SH—"

The two helpless ponies crashed into the middle of Ponyville's central park, skidding uncontrollably and uprooting the turf as they tumbled helplessly over each other, finally arriving in a dazed and crumpled heap next to a park bench.

"—OOT."

"Ooh... mommy..." moaned Sky Falcon.

"Ugh! Get this guy off me!"

An elderly pony sitting on the bench looked up from his newspaper. He shot them a smirk.

"Heheh. That's Pinkie Pie for ya, fellers."

Mr Waddle chuckled quietly and resumed reading his paper. Cloud Fox groaned and headbutted the ground in despair, which didn't do much for his headache.

"Fox...?"

"What," came the annoyed grunt of a reply.

"If it's any consolation..." began Sky Falcon, hesitating for just a moment.

"...You're a great kisser."


Author's Note:

Hehe. Overall, this chapter was pretty fun to write. :P Pity it took me so long. YAY PROCRASTINATION.

Oh, so many mentions of Celestia in this chapter. She's not even in this story!

As for that last section... yeah, sorry. I have no idea either.