Warden sighed, staring up at the front of the school, pursing his lips in distaste.
“You really don’t like schools, do you?” Kuno asked, giving her pegasus wings a little flutter to get them comfortable.
“Not really, no. I wasn’t one of the popular kids so I can’t say that school was a particularly pleasant place. All the teachers pushed me towards athletics with the encouragement of my father… and I knew I didn’t want anything to do with all of that from a pretty young age,” Warden explained with a long sigh.
“I didn’t have much of a choice in my life direction,” Kuno teased with a smile.
Warden rolled his eyes, nudging her hip with his own. “C’mon, let’s go see what Swarm did this time.”
“It’s probably pretty bad if they called us to come to the school…” Kuno said with a frown, nudging his neck with her cheek in response. “I’ve… been a little bothered with how fast Swarm is maturing for a while now.”
“Bothered?” Warden asked.
“Bothered,” Kuno confirmed with a short nod. “We can’t ignore that she’s part changeling… and I just don’t think she’s going to fit in with the other children very well.”
“She’s aging the same,” Warden pointed out, pausing with a hoof on the door.
“But she’s maturing faster. Imagine if you were forced to go to class with a heap of teenagers all listening to canter-clap music and talking about who they’re ‘in love’ with this week,” Kuno pointed out.
Warden gave a shudder. “You’d kill me with all your jealousy when I ogle all the pretty fillies.”
Kuno gave a sly smirk at that, leaning closer to whisper into his ear, “If you want me to be a little younger, that can be arranged…”
Warden’s eyes widened and his face drained of colour. “Don’t you you dare.”
“Careful what you wish foooor,” Kuno sing-songed with a smile, pushing open the doors to the school.
Swarm was sitting outside of the office, scowling at the ground, scratching the edge of her seat with a hoof. She looked up when her parents arrived, blinking once in confusing at seeing Kuno in her pegasus form.
“What did you do?” Kuno asked bluntly, pausing in front of her daughter.
“I just told the truth!” Swarm protested with a huff.
The school principal poked his head out from the doorway, a brow raising. “Warden, Kuno, I presume?”
Warden and Kuno both nodded.
“Do come in,” the principal said, waving a hoof and retreating back into his office.
Kuno and Warden exchanged a glance, before stepping through the doorway and into the office. Kuno waved a hoof, motioning for Swarm to follow them. Head lowered, Swarm trailed after her parents, sitting down beside the chair her mother chose to sit in.
Warden pulled himself up onto a chair, turning around to get comfortable, wincing and stretching out his bad wing. “So… what did she do?”
Ramrod paused, peering down at the piece of paper on his desk, and then up at Warden, and then Kuno, and then finally to Swarm. “She threatened to have a fellow student killed.”
Warden jerked backwards slightly in surprise, while Kuno just pursed her lips.
Kuno turned, peering down at Swarm. “Is this true?”
Swarm muttered something indistinctly, turning her head away.
Kuno frowned deeply at that, and then looked up at the principal. “So, mister uh…” she paused, looking down at the nameplate on his desk and then back up again, “Mister Ramrod. What do we do from here?”
“I could punish her severely,” Ramrod said, lazily waving a hoof. “But I find that that is hardly a good deterrent in most cases.”
Warden splayed his ears back, chewing on the inside of a cheek. “She’s definitely going to get punished.”
Swarm pouted, curling up and hiding her head under a wing.
“I would rather examine the underlying cause for her attitude and seek to correct it in less… scarring ways,” Ramrod said tactfully, clapping his hooves together softly.
Kuno nodded slightly, and Warden pursed his lips uncertainly.
“First thing’s first, we’re not going to get very far if you’re deceiving me straight away,” Ramrod said, turning to peer at Kuno. “Adopt your natural form, if you would, please.”
Kuno paused at that, raising a brow at Warden. Warden nodded lightly.
With a faint hum, Kuno stretched, engulfing herself in green flames. When the flames faded, Kuno was sitting there in her natural form, wings spreading slightly, buzzing once and then settling themselves back down as the changeling gave a sigh of relief.
“Still don’t like it?” Warden asked conversationally.
Kuno wrinkled her nose deeply. “No, not really.”
Ramrod just stared.
“Isn’t that… you know, weird?” the principal asked, blinking slowly. “For both of you?”
“She was a pegasus for nine months with Swarm,” Warden pointed out with a shrug of his shoulders.
“But… just… changing into a random pony and then back again?” Ramrod ask, slightly awed.
“Well, that’s not really… random,” Warden pointed out.
“I swap between a few different ponies,” Kuno admitted with a smile. “Windshear is my pegasus. I made her for Warden because he likes big wings and firm flanks.”
Warden stiffened slightly at that, his cheeks flushing faintly. “T-that is hardly here or there. We’re talking about Swarm.”
“Talking about what led to Swarm, actually,” Kuno corrected with a smirk.
“I’m too young for this conversation,” Swarm chimed in.
“Swarm is entirely correct,” Ramrod said with a disapproving look between the two adults.
“Fine, fine, we’ll keep it ‘teen’ rated,” Kuno said with a roll of her eyes.
“PG?” Warden asked with a strained smile.
“Teen, and you’ll enjoy it,” Kuno corrected with a smirk.
Ramrod cleared his throat, looking back and forth between them. “Now, please tell me why Swarm thinks her mother is a vicious killer?”
“Because I’ve killed more ponies than most serial killers?” Kuno asked, arching a brow curiously.
Ramrod blinked once, slightly taken aback. “I... what?”
“Mommy is going to exposition, isn’t she?” Swarm asked with an air of long-suffering.
“‘Exposition’ is a noun,” Warden said with a shake of his head.
“Mommy is gonna talk lots?” Swarm offered.
Warden nodded slowly.
Kuno inhaled deeply, peering up at Ramrod for a long moment.
“Well, my first foray into killing, as it were, was back in my home country. I had taken up the guise of a nurse for a while, to leech from the love patients have for their healers. I never went to med school though, so I was sort of just… guessing on what to do. I made the wrong guess. The patient died. Apparently sedatives mixed with weak heart disorders are kinda bad.”
Ramrod stared, his ears splaying back, blinking slowly.
“The second was when I was first getting into the BDSM scene. I had left home, travelled to Singapone, and needed somewhere fast and easy to get some love from. You’d be surprised how much love a submissive has for their master… Well, during one of the ‘sessions’, involving asphyxiation play, my submissive dropped his panic ball. I was so very, very new at the ‘game’ however, that I didn’t know what it meant. He died in the restraints.”
Warden winced faintly at that, and Ramrod just continued to stare, the blood draining from his face.
“My third brush with death was far less… accidental-”
“-She means deliberate,” Warden chimed in.
“Deliberate,” Kuno corrected with a slow smile. “I tracked down a high-class unicorn to have a taste of the high life. I found out that his tastes, while including high-class things like fine wine, expensive food, and thread counts so high his blankets felt like sleeping on fresh white clouds, he also trafficked in foals. He used his contacts to adopt foals from orphanages and repurpose them for things I doubt you want to even know exist. I waited until I was alone with him and I murdered him. And it felt good.”
Ramrod blanched at that, inching back into his chair a little further.
“I was pretty tame in my following years. My hive died out… I’m one of the sole survivors. I came all the way across the ocean to find a hive… and I found a family instead,” Kuno said, shooting Warden a covetous smile. “But then some high-and-mighty prick decided to threaten all of that. He sent his crony down to my home, and had him break my husband’s wing and hoof, crippling him for life. So I repaid the favour.”
“You crippled him?” Ramrod asked weakly.
Kuno shook her head slowly, giving a wicked smile. “Of course not. I killed him. And his crony. You might remember the ‘famous’ murder of Daggertail and Sunshine? And how they couldn’t find a single lead on the killer?”
Ramrod gave a slow nod.
“Well they knew who did it, but had no interest in hunting me down. I believe that Princess Cadance convinced the guard not to pursue Warden and I,” Kuno said, humming thoughtfully to herself, rubbing her chin with a hoof.
“Hey, you did the murders, I was in hospital unconscious the entire time,” Warden protested.
Ramrod stared back and forth between them, shaking his head slowly. “I… I can see why Swarm would have some developmental issues.”
“She’s half changeling,” Kuno reminded with a faint frown. “And I’m not sure she fits in here.”
“She certainly exhibits a certain maturity that is far ahead of her classmates,” Ramrod admitted with a frown. “But the crux of the matter remains.”
Kuno gave a nod, turning to peer down at her daughter for a long moment. “Swarm?”
“Yes, mother?” Swarm asked, spreading two of her feathers so she could peer up at Kuno through them.
“I only kill ponies if they threaten our safety or are reprehensible assholes and have no chance of changing,” Kuno explained bluntly.
Swarm stared up at her mother for a long moment, looking thoughtful. “So… not just for being mean?”
“Ponies are mean all the time,” Kuno explained with a sad smile. “Unfortunately, I can’t kill them all. Or any of them, really.”
“Not even just once?” Swarm asked hopefully.
Kuno’s eyes narrowed slowly.
Swarm pouted and then gave a nod. “Fine… I’ll just pu-”
Kuno placed a hoof over Swarm’s mouth. “No, you won’t.”
Swarm huffed, closing her mouth and turning her head away. “Fine.”
Kuno looked up at Ramrod, raising an eyebrow. “Satisfied?”
“Not really,” Ramrod said with a deep frown.
“Well she’s not going to be threatening kids with death now, is she?” Kuno placated.
Ramrod pursed his lips. “You three have a very unhealthly relationship with eachother.”
“I’m a changeling,” Kuno reminded, her wings giving an irritated buzz. “We don’t do ‘normal’. Why, just a few years ago, were we in the same room, we’d be trying to kill eachother.”
“True, true,” Ramrod said with faint frown. “But rather, I am talking about what you teach your child. You are teaching her that it is okay to kill somepony.”
“And it is okay to kill somepony sometime,” Kuno said with a wave of a hoof. “I just don’t treat it like some high moral quandary. You do what you have to do. If it’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ doesn’t bother me. And I’m not going to teach my child that killing is some kind of… something strange or unnatural. It’s a fact of life.”
Warden chewed on his bottom lip, looking back and forth between Ramrod and his wife.
“Spit it out,” Kuno stated flatly, catching Warden’s expression.
“I… Well…” Warden started, looking away and wincing slightly.
“You agree with him but you don’t want to take his ‘side’, now explain to me why,” Kuno stated, stamping a hoof.
“Because ponies aren’t so… practical,” Warden said with a long sigh. “Plus, we’re talking about her threatening a classmate with death, not because it was a heat-of-the-moment flight-or-fight reflex.”
Kuno pursed her lips, licking at her fangs in irritation, wings giving a soft buzz. “I… Yes. I can see how that’s a problem.”
Ramrod looked back and forth between Warden and Kuno, raising a brow. “And how are you going to proceed?”
“I am going to teach her about when it is right and not right to kill a pony,” Kuno said stiffly, chewing on her bottom lip.
“Are you… capable of doing so?” Ramrod asked bluntly.
Kuno blinked once, staring at him for several long seconds. “I am quite capable of doing so.”
“I’ll help,” Warden assured with a shake of his head. “We’re never really… had a talk with her. Not about this. And she does have a crazy changeling for a mother. There’s bound to be some wrinkles.”
“I am not a wrinkle!” Swarm protested.
Kuno shushed her with a hoof, and Swarm poked her nose into one of the holes in the hoof, repeating herself. “I am not a wrinkle!”
“Yes, you’re not a wrinkle, hun,” Warden said with a faint smile. “So… are you satisfied with this, Ramrod?”
“I guess I will have to be,” Ramrod said with a frown. “I will trust to you two to see to this. This isn’t usually something I would just leave up to the parents.”
“Well most of your students aren’t half-changeling,” Kuno responded with a snort.
“Too true,” Ramrod said with a shake of his head. “I hope I won’t be seeing you in here again, Miss Swarm.”
“I hope I’m never in here again,” Swarm said with a wrinkled nose, painfully blunt.
Kuno smiled, stroking a hoof through Swarm’s mane. “That’s my girl.”
Warden just shook his head slowly.
“So… Swarm can return to class?” Kuno asked, raising a brow.
Ramrod gave a frown, looking from Kuno, to swarm, and then back again. “I… I guess so.”
“Good,” Kuno said, clapping her hooves together.
Swarm gave a soft groan. “Do I have to?”
“Yes, you do,” Warden said sternly, eyes narrowing at his daughter.
Swarm shrunk back a little, giving a long sigh. “Fine… fine. I’m going.” With a huff, Swarm rose to her hooves, and then slunk towards the door, slipping through it to head back for class.
Kuno slipped off the seat, stretching out slightly and then wrinkling her nose as she assumed her pegasus form again in a flash of green fire. Warden rose as well, shaking his bad hoof and flicking his bad wing. “So, back home?”
Kuno peered back at Warden for a moment, giving him a push with her hoof to get him moving. “No no no, we’re going up the hill a ways. I’m going to convince you to get a new house.”
“You already convinced me,” Warden complained.
“I’m going to make you excited for it!” Kuno said, bouncing in place eagerly. “Just think of all the new rooms for us to-”
Warden placed a hoof over her mouth, pursing his lips. “Teen rated, remember?”
Kuno scowled faintly, nudging him powerfully with her nose. “Only until I get you alone.”