Ponies. Ruin. EVERYTHING!
By TDR
“Can you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll”
“OH BY CELESTIA DID YOU SEE THAT APPLEJACK!!” Rainbow Dash shouts a microphone in her hoof as she stands up behind the podium pointing to ring. The cyan mare was dressed in a royal purple robe with a crown perched haphazardly on her head.
A massive crowd of ponies behind them on the other side of a retaining wall scream out. A gray unicorn stallion with amber colored hair, wearing a black and purple spandex outfit and mask, lifts a brown earth pony in a blue spandex outfit that looks like a police box over his head with his hooves and slams him down on to the ring floor causing the whole thing to bounce.
“AND THE DEMON OF DULLAHAN BODY SLAMS THE TIME LORD TO THE MAT CAN THIS MATCH GET ANY MORE EXCITING!!!??” Dash screams as AJ adjusts her cowboy hat a little and nods trying not to get too wrapped up in the insanity of her friend.
The unicorn clamors up one of the posts on the side of the square ring before leaping off into the air and crashing down heavily atop of the earth pony.
“FIVE BEAST HARMONY SPLASH ,DID YOU SEE THAT AJ!?” Dash freaks out.
“Yeah ah saw it..... and the refs in the ring now.....” AJ monotones.
A zebra with a mo-hawk slides into the ring slapping her hoof on the mat as the unicorn pins the earth pony.
“And that's the ten count!” states AJ into her mic as the crowd roars. She reaches up grabbing Dash by the tail and pulls her back down to her seat as the pegasus starts to float away in the awesome.
The ref moves over to the side of the stage grabbing a large gold belt and bringing it back to give to the unicorn. The stallion roars out holding the belt over his head and screaming back at the crowd as he paces around the stage. The earth pony groans rolling off the side of the ring under the ropes and rushes off back stage.
“And so the Demon of Dullahan retains the Equestrian championship title belt, defending it yet again from another challenger.” Applejack rambles off.
“Wait what's this!? Dash shouts.
A blue pegasus dressed like a Wonderbolt with windswept dark blue hair glides down landing lightly behind the parading unicorn. The Demon of Dullahan turns just in time to be slammed in the face by a chair by the pegasus.
“WHERE THE HECK DID WONDER BOLT COME FROM?” Rainbow Dash screams nearly losing her crown.
“He was supposed to be out with a wing strain after his fight with the with the Super Chief.” AJ calls out.
“Yeah that buffalo packed a wallop I thought for sure Wonderbolt wouldn't make it!” Dash yells as the Wonderbolt repeatedly beats the crap out of the unicorn with the folding chair.
“I guess he couldn't pass up a chance at the title. It may have been a mistake by the Demon to have an open challenge any where any time for the belt. Seems his arrogance might have finally.... Wait now what!?” AJ explains.
Rightsaidfred's I’m too sexy starts blaring and a red earth pony stallion with black hair gallops down the stage ramp towards the ring. The stallions spandex suit was covered in red hearts and arrows. The stallion reaches the retaining wall running up it before leaping into the air and soaring over the ring ropes to smash into the pegasus.
“OH BY CELESTIA'S FIRM SLAPPABLE PLOT IT IS THE BIG RED LOVE MACHINE HIMSELF. THE DEMON'S FORMER TAG TEAM PARTNER.!” Dash screams getting pulled back down to her seat by AJ again.
“The question is though, did Big Red come down here to help his former teammate or to get the belt himself?” AJ questions
The red earth pony stares down at the unicorn on the mat, the unicorn stares up at him with a bit of worry on his masked face. The red stallion lifts a hoof offering it to the unicorn who takes it and is pulled back up to his hooves. The pair of ponies nod to each other before rushing over and starting to stomp the pegasus.
“WHAT A REVERSAL THIS IS UNHEARD OF IN THIS ARENA!!” Dash screams her voice starting to go a little horse.
Another set of theme music starts to play and Both the Demon of Dullahan and the Big Red Love Machine turn away from the cringing Wonderbolt as the ramp leading backstage explodes in a series of fireworks as a massive red stallion with blond hair in a black spandex suit steps out glaring at the pair in the ring. Johnny Cash's 'When the man comes around,' starts blaring in the background.
“By the stars it's THE BIG EEYUP.!” AJ suddenly shouts. “ this match has just gotten even betta!”
The massive stallion thunders down the ring yanking out one of the corner posts to climb in before slamming it back into it's spot and looming over the two smaller contestants. The pegasus recovers enough to hop up and land next to the newcomer a grin on his face.
“WAIT WONDERBOLT AND THE BIG EEYUP ARE WORKING TOGETHER? WHAT A TWIST!” Rainbow Dash screams her voice finally giving out.
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“Lulu are you watching that EWF thing again?” Celestia questions trotting into the living room looking over at the TV then to her sister who sat with rapt attention on the edge of the couch. “ How can you watch this drivel sister? It is all staged you know.”
“It matters not if it is real my dear Tia. It features attractive muscular stallions in tight fitting clothing that shows off thine assets quite nicely. How does thou not like to witness such things?”Luna retorts her eyes not leaving the screen.
Celestia blinks looking at her sister then the TV As the Big Red Love machine was Flung out of the ring by the Wonderbolt, and the Demon of Dullahan was trying to put a sleeper hold on The Big Eeyup.
“Move over sister.....”Celestia mutters shoeing her sister to one side of the couch.