Thine Own Self

by jdb1984


A Secret Revealed, a Friendship Lost

Silver and Diamond just sat still for a brief moment, looking at the mix of real and fake cutie marks. Then Silver silently picked up a napkin and used it to wipe the remainder of the paint off, revealing her true cutie mark underneath.

Pointing upwards at an angle was a paintbrush, topped with silver paint. There was also a pencil, pointing at a downward angle along with it. They crossed at the middle, forming the shape of an X. Diamond Tiara looked at it, then up at Silver’s face, her expression clearly demanding an explanation.

“The spoon that you know about has been painted on, and always has been,” Silver explained. “My actual cutie mark has to do with painting and sketching, and I've only had it for about a year.”

Diamond just looked back down at the cutie mark for a minute, and Silver could virtually see the gears turning in her head, as she tried to process this information. Finally, she looked back up at her and simply said, “So you lied to me.”

“Wait. When did I...” Silver began

“Since kindergarten. When you came in with your “new cutie mark”, you said that it was because you knew you were going to take over your parent’s silverware company. You had years to tell me the truth, and you chose to hide it,” Diamond explained, then something else occurred to her. “Come to think about it, that was a similar explanation to my own mark, that I was going to take over my father’s company. My tiara represents a passion for leadership.”

“I just wanted to be noticed. While I was there, nobody would give me the time of day. You were an early marker with a couple of others, and you three were the most popular. So I figured that if I got one, I would be just as popular. After I came to school with the spoon, and used your story as a template for my own, you were the first to extend your hoof in friendship,” Silver explained.

“So you’re a leech as well. You used my story and my friendship to help yourself,” Diamond answered.

“Diamond, that’s not true. I went with what you did, took your blackmail, and helped you with your plans against the Crusaders, just so you could stay my friend,” Silver said. “I didn't want to lose my friendship with you, so I usually stayed quiet about it.”

“But was it for us...or for yourself?” Diamond asked.

Without waiting for an answer, Diamond took a final bite of her muffin and dropped enough bits to pay for her own muffin, before heading for the door.

“Diamond, where...” Silver started.

“The best way to handle a leech is to pull it off your coat and get rid of it. And that’s exactly what I’m doing,” she answered.

“NO! Diamond, don’t leave!” Silver yelled out, jumping down from her stool and grabbing Diamond’s rear hoof. “I need you.”

Her yelling got the attention of everyone in Sugarcube Corner, as they all looked up to see the two of them. Even a young brown colt with a rainbow propeller beanie looked up from his Game Colt to see what was going on.

Diamond stopped and looked back long enough to say, “Just like a leech. A leech can’t live without a host. And I’m finished with being that host.”

“Please,” Silver said, as Diamond shook her off and walked out the door, into the rain. As her head dropped, she just whispered, “Don’t leave me...”

As Silver sat there on the floor, crying, she felt a hoof on her shoulder. She turned to see Pinkie kneeling down near her, her hair looking like a deflated balloon. Silver just wrapped her hooves around her, and Pinkie just held her back, allowing her to continue her sobbing.

---
Eventually, Silver was able to make her way home. Blowing past all the servants and her parents, she went up to her room and flopped into bed. She told her parents she wasn't really feeling well. She stayed there for the next couple of days, not really doing anything but stare into space, barely noticing the passage from day to night and back again.

Her mother talked to her, trying to get some kind of explanation. But all she got were vague answers or silence. The servants also walked in with her meals. But they ended up taking them back, with the food only having a few bites taken out of it.

But usually, she was left alone with her thoughts. Unable to think about anything else but what she lost, questions swirled around in her head. About her life, her former best friend, and what she did with her life to that point.

“Am I a leech, like Diamond said? Did I really lie to her all this time? Should I have been more vocal about how I didn't like being a bully?” she thought. “I...I don’t want to be alone.”

Eventually, her body forced her to sleep. But when she did, the nightmares came to make it anything but peaceful.

---
“Unless it is my sister, or an emergency, I am not to be disturbed,” Luna told the two members of the night guard in front of her. “I trust your judgement. Make sure it is not misplaced.”

They saluted and took their places on either side of the door, as Luna stepped into her private sanctuary. It was sparsely furnished, with a bed that had a star design on the blankets. A rug in the center of the room had the same pattern, and a fireplace stood at one wall. There were even glow in the dark stars attached to the walls and ceiling.

“I should get someone to take those down. I’m not a filly anymore,” Luna thought.

Lighting some incense, she breathed in deeply, as she let the aroma calm her body. Lying down on her stomach on top of the rug, she let herself relax, as she closed her eyes and entered the dream realm.

---
In the formless void of the dream realm, with only black nothingness surrounding Luna, many screens came up, each one showing what a filly or colt was dreaming. In one dream, she saw an orange pegasus filly flying alongside one of the Element Bearers. In another, a white unicorn filly was designing some beautiful dresses with ease. There was a third that had a patchwork colt commanding a pirate ship. She was about to pass by, but something made her pause and look closer.

“Is that...me? As his first mate?” Luna thought.

Making her way past the good dreams, she noticed one that at first, seemed to have only darkness. But as she gazed closer, she saw a beam of light shining down on a silver Earth filly, who had her head down. Though she couldn’t hear any sound, she could guess what was going on.

Luna hated these kind of nightmares. The filly was full of self-doubt and self-hatred, and everything she has done or think she did to bring her to this point is played back to her through the voices of ponies she knows. It’s not a pleasant dream to enter, but these are the ones that need her help the most.

With only a slight hesitation, Luna touched the screen with a hoof, and stepped her way inside.