//------------------------------// // Thirty Things you cannot do as a Changeling-Slice Of Life // Story: Thirty Chrysalises // by Diamond Sparkle //------------------------------// Queen Chrysalis put the final touches to her latest Royal Proclamation with a quill held by the magic of her horn. Recently the members of her Hive had been acting up a lot in small ways and reluctantly she decided that they needed a little discipline. The proclamation said 1-Changing into the shape of a Changeling Queen in general and into me in particular is technically High Treason. I'm not going to be evil and hand out the maximum penalty if it was just done in jest, but it has to stop. We cannot have everyling pretending to be a Queen, for the sake of the Hive's basic stability. 2-Do not scream "WAKE UP LAZY BONES" over the general hive mind at 7:00AM. In fact, unless there is a dire danger that you cannot deal with yourself, do not use the general hive mind at all, it's an emergency service. Not something for common changeling chit chat. When you say something over the hive mind, everyling can hear it. 3-I know that it is dark in the hive, but our eyes can generally cope with it, and in fact are designed for it. If you need a bit of extra light, spin a glob of glowing silk and use that light for your own purposes. Do not use your changeling skills to create a bright torch and go around shining it in everyling's eyes as that can spark off violent brawls. 4-When you have used the light from that glob of silk, please take it to the latrines. Leaving it on the floor or wall where anyling can get stuck to it and have to clean it from their body is plain bad manners. I got some of it on my wing yesterday so I know first hand how annoying it is to have to remove anotherling's sticky silk from my body. 5-Queen Uranus of the Uranus Hive is coming in a few days on a formal royal visit, which means that I do not want to hear That Joke at all whilst she is here. In fact, I do not want to hear That Joke at all. I have to admit that it was funny the first time I heard it, but it has long since ceased to be funny. 6-Apart from on my birthday and on Hearth Warming Day, there is no such thing as free love, at least for most of you. If you want to eat, you must either go out and infiltrate for it, or work for it. The illegal tapping of the Cocoon Store's love has to stop. Of course there are exceptions for the grubs and pupa, the old and the sick or disabled. But not everyling or we won't be able to feed the grubs. They need that love more then you do. 7-Noling is to change into Pinkie Pie unless ordered to do so by me personally. The reason is that changelings who take on the shape of Pinkie Pie start to act like Pinkie Pie, and she is so random. And wants to have parties so much. I like a good party as much as everyling, but not all the time. 8-Noling unless as part of a formal military drill is to change into a pony, griffin or other creature and have his or her friends yell "Escaped Prisoner" or anything of the kind, and then lead my guards on a merry chase through the hive, keeping them from their proper duties. The next changelings to do this will get a week locked up in the stockade for their pains. 9-Outdoor fireworks are just that-outdoor fireworks, and unless the Hive has been attacked and the foes have breached the walls, are not to be let off indoors. And yes, inside the communal areas of the Hive counts as indoors. I like fireworks, but please be safe with them for everyling's sake. 10- Noling is allowed to sing the following song. Glory glory hallelujah Chrysalis hit us with a ruler The ruler broke in half And we all began to laugh And she isn't gonna hit us anymore 11-If you have girlfriends or indeed wives in the lands outside the Hive, please do not bring them back to the Hive unless you want them to be hung up in a cocoon to be drained of their love. Mind wipe spells use up a lot of my energy that is better spent on other things. 12-Noling is to share pornography ,be it hard-core or not, over the hive mind. It distracts everyling from more useful activities. 13-Noling is to take on the shape of Shining Armour in front of me, I just want to put such thoughts to the back of my mind. 14-Noling is to urinate in the love ration that they have worked for and then give it to a changeling that they don't like. That's disgusting. 15-Noling is to keep a parasprite as a pet. They eat all our solid food, leaving us with nothing but love to live on. 16-When the Royal Banquet for Queen Uranus is ready, noling is to sample a bit for themselves, * just to taste it* Otherwise everyling nearby will join in and there will be no Royal Banquet for Queen Uranus, and she will not be impressed. I know how greedy most of you are. 17-. The proper response to one of my royal orders is not "Why?" 18-Clouds may only be brought into the hive for emergency fire-fighting, not, repeat NOT, for water fights. Too many changelings not involved in said fights are getting soaked. 19-Noling is to place ropes in the holes in a changelings limbs to tie him or her up just for fun. It's not funny. 20-MRE stands for Meals Ready To Eat, not Miasma's Rotting Entrails, Meals Rejected by Everyone, or anything else of that nature. 21-Noling will pretend to be an Ambassador from another Hive or country. Violators of this rule will be permanently exiled from the Hive. 22-Noling will make up jokes about me. 23-Noling is allowed to dump any kind of rubbish in the Hive's central love store. 24-Noling is allowed to go swimming in the Hive's central love store. We need that love to remain unfouled. 25-Noling is allowed to disguise a snooker ball as a parasprite and then throw it. 26-Noling is to use rude words in front of the grubs. 27-If it is not Heath's Warming Eve, then Santa Hooves is not coming to town and noling is to pretend to be him and fly in on a sleigh. 28-Noling is to organize a trade union and go on strike for more love. 29-Impromptu musicals are allowed, but they have to stop blocking the traffic. Some changelings are trying to get to work. 30- Noling is to give any love to beggars, it's their own fault that they are poor.