"For the last time Filthy, the answer is 'no'." I said, "It always has been no and it always will be NO."
"Can't you see the opportunity you have here, Captain? You possess a product that ponies everywhere could benefit from."
"Oh don't pretend like you care about others." I said, "You're concerned with your bottom line and that's it. I'm not selling any of my machines to you."
"Think of the money you can make here, Captain." The business pony said, desperately trying to convince me.
"Bullets are made of lead, not gold." I said, "If I need it, I can just make it. I don't need your money."
"Surely there's something you can't get." the sales pony asked.
"Yes, I can't seem to get rid of you." I said, "Do you think you could handle that?"
Finally Firestorm interrupted.
"Sir, the Crusaders are here." She said, "I'll lead Mr. Rich out."
"I appreciate that Storm" I said, "I'm sorry Filthy, I have a very important meeting."
Don't let the door hit you on the way out
I got up and exited my armory, a bit excited about what I had to show these fillies. I'd been working on a little project and I needed their help testing it. As I passed through the final door, I was greeted by the happy little ponies.
"Hello, girls" I replied "I'm sure you're all wondering why I needed you here"
They all nodded yes. I ushered them onto the elevator. I commanded it to go to the Assembly Floor, then explained what was about to happen.
"Now, this floor isn't quite done, so don't step on anything that's not metal" I said
"You got it." Scootaloo replied as she and the other fillies snapped to attention. I swear, i think they're making fun of me.
"Ya still didn't tell us what ya needed us for." Apple Bloom pointed out
"Well, Princess Celestia gave me a very special project: she challenged me to make a robot that could integrate with pony society, something that could blend in. I think I've figured it out, but he needs a few actual ponies to help him." I explained.
"Wait, YOU made a pony?" Scootaloo asked.
"I thought only mares could do that." Sweetie Belle said.
"I'm not having that conversation." I said
The door opened to a large open room bustling with machines running and rolling to and fro. It had taken weeks to excavate the underside of the base and even now, there was only a basic skeleton of steel supports holding back the earth around it. it would take more time to turn it into a fully functioning maintenance bay for the Ponyville mechs, but I was well on my way.
"Wow." Scootaloo said in awe, "Did you do all this?"
"Technically, we did."
We turned to see a floating disc with various arms dangling underneath. This was my new head technician.
"Captain, I was just about to call you." it said, "We're almost done reinforcing the skeleton, then we can begin adding the walls."
"Thanks for the update, Tau" I replied, "Let Raven know what parts you need so she can ship them here."
"Will do, Sir." he said, "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"Not right now, Tau." I said, "You're dismissed."
The hovering drone banked to the left and flew off
"Ah thought Tau couldn't talk." Apple Bloom said as we continued through the cavernous space.
"I gave him a new body." I explained, "This one comes with a voice box. But that isn't what you need to see."
Another door hissed as it opened, revealing a set of crane arms. This was the only room finished room, since it was the one I really needed.
"This is the final assembly room, where all my machines will be 'born', so to speak." I reached to a large switch on the wall and forced it downwards, causing the lights inside to turn on one at a time. Eventually illuminating the last assembly table; and sitting on it was a small machine, no bigger than the fillies with me.
"Unit 10-0-21, Activate." I commanded. The machine shuddered as it's servos lit up, unfolding the four legs underneath of it. It stood shakily on these legs as the front unfolded into a head and neck, a smooth dark red and white mane protruding from the back and a short conical horn extending from his forehead. A light in it's eyes began glowing a bright orange, and it turned to face me.
"Hello Dad." the machine said. It's voice was a bit tinny, higher pitched than most of the robots I had.
"Good afternoon, Sparkplug." I replied. The small machine hopped off the table and shook his body, eliciting a symphony of pops and cracks.
"So, what are we going to do today?" he asked happily, then noticing the other ponies on three room, all of them dumbstruck by what they saw.
"Actually, Sparky, there's something else we're gonna try." I said, gesturing to the ponies.
"You built me three sisters?" he asked. His eyes blinked like a camera shutter.
"No, these are non-robotic ponies." I said, "They were the inspiration for you."
"Oh." He replied, "Hi. I'm Sparkplug."
The fillies stood motionless.
"I think they're broken." he said as he walked toward them, "I didn't do that, did I?"
"He looks just like a pony." Sweetie Belle said finally.
"That's what I was going for." I said, "He's an Artificial Intelligence, housed in a prototype Equine body."
"No wonder you and Twilight get along." Scootaloo said sarcastically, "You sound the same."
And you sound like a pegesus I know.
"He means I'm special." he said, beaming with pride
"Very special." I said, "He's the closest thing I could make to an actual pony, without needing to sign any adoption papers."
"Is he really a robot?" Scootaloo asked, taking a few steps toward him, "He has fur and a mane and everything. Robots don't have that, do they?"
"Take a look." He said. Suddenly his body went rigid, and his skin seemed to split along his joints. Underneath, his aluminum skeleton housing every system. The three fillies gasped at the now skinless mech and ran behind me. Sparkplug just smiled, which looked like a demonic skull.
"Sparky, what did I tell you about doing that?" I said, gently scolding the mech. He was suppose to use that when I needed to fix something, but I guess I built a part of my sense of humor into him. The smile left his face and he hung his head.
"I'm sorry." The plates folded back into place, returning him to his normal appearance.
"Ok, definitely a robot." Apple Bloom said as she emerged from behind me. They didn't seem scared, more startled by his display.
"So what do we do?" Scootaloo said.
"Well, I need the three of you to help him adjust to being a pony." I said, "Basically, I need you to be his friends."
"Friends?" Sparkplug asked, "What's are friends?"
"See what I mean?" I said, then turning back to the mech, "Sparkplug, That's what Tau and Nautilus are to you."
"Ohhh."
"He's not going to go crazy like that really big robot did that one time, is he?"
"Why would I do that?" he asked.
"There's your answer." I said, "Look, just treat him like any other pony."
"Just don't expect me to swim." he added "I'm too heavy."
"But your the same size we are." Sweetie Belle said, "How can you be too heavy to swim?"
"I'm made of aluminum, steel and copper; much more dense than bone."
"That, and the water would short out your systems." I reminded him.
"So, what do we do now?" Sparkplug asked the fillies.
"Well, usually we go crusadin' for our Cutie Marks." Apple Bloom said, "But, um..."
"What?" Sparkplug asked.
"Captain, do robots get Cutie Marks?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Normally? No. But like I said, he's special."
"Dad gave me a special skill, I just don't know what it is." He said.
"THAT little system took me weeks to get right." I said, "But there's another system you should know about. He isn't a warbot like the rest of my mechs, but I DID give him something to protect himself with."
The fillies all shrugged back from him, afraid they'd set him off.
"Relax, nothing he has will do more than hurt a bit." I assured them, "If he feels threatened, he has what I call a Contact Defense System. Anything that touches him receives a mild electric shock."
"Wait, when did I get that?" Sparkplug asked
"Yesterday." I replied, "Now..."
I lead the four out of the room and back into the cavern. From there, I linked to the massive bay doors built into the hill and opened them, revealing the town.
"...I think you have Cutie Marks to find."
The happy fillies bolted out the door, Sparkplug in tow. I heard the disrupted air of Tau's floating platform hovering next to me.
"Sir, I hate to bring this up, but..."
"Relax Tau. What kind of trouble could they possibly get into?"
Two of his arms moved as though shrugging.
"If you say so, Sir."
A little over a month later.
"Ok Tau, the first shipment of wall parts just arrived." I said as I walked through the lower level, "The next one will be here next week."
"Actually, Sir, with the number of heavy lifters here, it may only take a few days to install the parts."
"Really?" I asked. I knew these guys were efficient, but I didn't know they were THAT good.
"Well, just give Raven a call." I said. Then I saw something in my heads up display: A small yellow symbol that looked a bit like Twilight's Cutie Mark. I reached for my communicator.
"Sparkplug? Is something wrong?" I asked.
"Um...I think so." He replied weakly, "Could...could you come down to the school?"
"On my way." I replied, then turning to Tau.
"Do I get to say 'i told you so' yet?" he asked. If he had a face, I'd probably want to smack it.
"Shut up Frisbee."
I left the base through the large bay doors and headed for the school house across town. I had met with the school teacher, Cheerilee twice before. The first time was when she noticed Sparkplug was never in her class and asked me if I'd like to enroll him. I figured it would be a good way for him to learn about being a pony The second time as when I had to explain to him he can't just blurt out the answer when he gets it. I really hoped he wasn't in too much trouble. I Walked down the path from the main road and opened the door. Inside was my grey colt and the...I think that color is called 'fuchsia'...mare, also in the room was Filthy Rich and his daughter, Diamond Tiara.
"Hello Captain." Cheerilee said.
"Hi Dad." Sparkplug said, turning around on his chair.
"So, Sparkplug said he might be in trouble?" I said.
"You're right he is."
"Always a pleasure, Mr. Rich." I replied sarcastically.
C'mon, you know you want to shoot him.
"Well, it seems that your 'son' and Diamond Tiara might have gotten into a bit of a fight."
"Really?" I said, looking to the mech. He turned away as though guilty. I was about to ask who won.
"Yes, and that little machine decided to electrocute my daughter." Filthy said.
"I said it was an accident." Sparkplug said.
"How do you 'accidently' hit somepony with a lighting bolt?" Filthy snapped, "That's called assault."
Shoot him!
"Mr. Rich, While Sparkplug may not be a real pony per se, he is still a part of this class." Cheerilee snapped, "You will not talk about him like that."
"Why not? It's not like you can offend a machine." He replied, "And besides, it attacked my daughter. I'm not about to play nice with a weapon"
"I'm not just a machine." Sparkplug said, "Dad said I'm special."
"And you are." I assured him, running a hand over his mane, "Unlike Filthy, you do have emotion. That's what separates you from others."
"That and the weapons he uses whenever he pleases." Filthy added.
"Filthy, don't make me come over there." I said sharply.
"See? Even he's out of control."
"You did provoke him." Cheerilee said, "But please try to control yourself, Captain."
I like this teacher.
"How did I provoke him?" He said, "I just stated a fact."
"No, you made an assumption." I said, "You assume he is able to control his defense system, when he can't."
"Then why does he have it when he can't control it?" He replied, "You put all these children in danger, just so you could play with machines."
I folded my arms over my chest.
"Are you done whining like a little bitch yet?"
"Captain: language!" The teacher snapped.
"English." I replied, "Now, if your quite done, I'd like to see what happened."
"And how do you plan to do that?" Filthy asked.
"Simple, machines have a lot of benefits over biological creatures." I said, "One of them is an eidetic memory. the other is the ability to link to other machines."
"Do you want me to play what I saw?" Sparkplug asked. I nodded. Linking to his system, I turned my projector on, creating an orange screen in the air. It was covered i static, but as Sparkplug neared the memory, it cleared up.
"Here it is, just like I saw it."