//------------------------------// // Welcome to Equestria // Story: Real Equestrian Heroes // by skyace //------------------------------// The Doctor had been right about one thing. This was without a doubt, the most hair-raising ride that Derpy had encountered in her life, and that’s after spending almost a year traveling with the mad pony and his blue box. Derpy knew her wild rides. As she drifted into the path of the oncoming cloud of particles, Derpy was curious to discover that in addition to the main city sized mass that she and the Doctor had first observed, there were what appeared to be six other smaller clouds ranging in size from just slightly bigger than a pony to the size of a manticore. As she began to approach the larger cloud, Derpy realized that one of the smaller masses was twisting towards her! Derpy’s eyes widened, she had no idea what these smaller clouds could represent, but the Doctor had instructed her to hitch a ride along with the larger particle field. Who knew what could happen if she were to collide with something other than her target? Twisting and writhing within the confines of the suit, Derpy could only watch in growing trepidation as the smaller cloud slowly began to overtake her, then, seemingly consume her. Derpy was pleasantly surprised when the predicted “breaking down into your basic atomic makeup” was a painless experience. If anything it was similar to what she experienced when having a particularly vivid dream. She could see a fuzzy outline of her body and spacesuit, almost as though she were wearing fogged-over goggles. Waving her hoof about, she giggled as she swept the limb through herself, feeling a slightly staticy tickle wherever she touched. Turning her thoughts inward, she felt as though she had drunk just one too many of Big Mac’s special aged ciders, with a warm, fuzzy glow obscuring her mental processes. It was with some small amount of surprise that she realized she could sense another being with her. Straining to pierce the haze that seemed to characterize her very being, Derpy began to pick up traces of feelings and stray thoughts that were not her own. With a start, she realized that the cloud she had drifted into was another living creature like herself. Or perhaps, she thought with a shudder, not quite like herself. This creature seemed angry, and the thoughts that seemed easiest for Derpy to pick up on seemed frighteningly focused on something the creature kept referring to as a “Damn Junior Spook” and what the creature wanted to do to it. Derpy suddenly became aware that the creature she was floating through space with had noticed it had picked up a hitchhiker, and she shuddered as an extremely penetrating awareness was brought to bear on her. The feeling was not unlike the one she got whenever she had to report a damaged package or lost letter to her boss back home, and made Derpy feel as though she were being evaluated and found somehow wanting. It was a relief when Derpy was able to tear her consciousness away from the slightly disturbing individual she was tethered to, and realize that her body was regaining its integrity. When the fog finally lifted from her mind and senses, she took a deep breath and began evaluating her surroundings. First thing she noticed, was the deep blue of the sky with an occasional cloud scudding across its surface. Blinking slowly, she comprehended the fact that she was finally within Equestria’s atmosphere. As the last of the mental haze finally lifted itself, she gently rotated her eyes away from their upward tilt to discover what looked like a tree growing rapidly larger… THUNK!!! Okay, so the tree wasn’t growing, she had just been getting closer. Oh look, her old friend, mental fog was back, and he’d brought a friend. Groaning from the headache, Derpy began struggling her way out of the confines of her now ruined suit and attempted to take inventory. Wings? Ruffled, but unbroken. Legs? Derpy rotated each one tenderly, and verified that yes, she still had four, and they all seemed to be in working order. Vision? Perhaps a little more cross-eyed, but that was probably to be expected after slamming head first into a tree. Rubbing her head in an attempt to lessen the throbbing, Derpy spared a glance for her dented in helmet. Shuddering to think about what the damage could have been, Derpy snapped a mental salute to her smashed headgear, vowing to bake a special muffin its honor when she got home. Speaking of home, just where had she landed anyway? Once her eyes settled into what could pass for normal (for her, anyway) Derpy began scanning her surroundings for landmarks, brightening up considerably when she noticed a weatherworn sign proclaiming ‘Running of the Leaves, Km 16”. Derpy smiled happily, with any amount of luck, she would be home in time to pick up Dinky from school. It was at that moment that she was reminded that she had not returned to Equestria alone, as a low growling moan rumbled from the depths of a nearby bush. Derpy laid her ears back in sudden fear; could this be one of the monsters the Doctor had warned her of? Fighting the nearly overwhelming urge to turn tail and fly as fast as her wings would carry her back to Ponyville and the relative safety of her home, Derpy took a tentative step towards the grumbling bush. “Um, excuse me” Derpy called out, desperately trying to keep her voice steady, “Are you alright?” The reply, when it came, reminded Derpy of Fluttershy’s friend Harry the bear, if Harry had a southern drawl and could talk, that is. “Hell NO, I’m not alright. Ah been sliced, shot at, chased, kicked, dematerialized, and dropped butt first into what hasta be the only thorn bush fer miles”. As the stranger continued to gripe over his multitude of hurts, Derpy had slowly edged closer to the bush’s edge. At the moment she came within a hooves distance from peeking through the foliage, the thing within decided to stand up. And thus first contact between a Human and an Equestrian was made. “Well, ah’ll be very damned. Psyche-Out is gonna have a field day with me when ah finally wake up.” Scarlett re-constituted almost a mile up. Shaking off the haze that had characterized her state of being for the last whatever-amount-of-time she had spent as a cloud of particles, she quickly took stock of her situation. Coming to the conclusion she would make a nasty mess of herself if she continued on her present course, she quickly snapped her arms to her sides and her legs together. When she spread them out again, a thin membrane stretched from her arms to her torso and between her legs, transforming a terminal fall into a controlled descent similar to a flying squirrel. Directly below her, Scarlett could see what appeared to be a medieval castle extending from the side of a mountain. Racking her memory for any mention of a similar structure in an attempt to determine her location, she almost didn’t notice that she had drifted into the path of what appeared to be a fantasy themed blimp. Banking sharply to the side to avoid a collision, Scarlett found herself on a crash course for one of the many stained-glass windows dotting the exterior of the castles many towers. Rolling into a ball to protect her exposed face from the soon-to-be flying shards, the Joe smashed through the window and splashed into what felt like a deep pool of warm liquid. “WHAT MEANS THIS INTRUSION?!!! WHO DARES TO DISTURB THE LUNAR PRINCESS AT HER BATH!!!?” The Everfree Forest was not known for its hospitality towards ponies attempting to settle within its borders. Its wild magic and abundance of carnivorous plant and animal life served as a healthy deterrent to any pony who might consider venturing within the overgrown depths of Equestria’s most notorious forest. Despite the Everfree’s well-deserved reputation, there was one who had not only learned to survive within the sinister jungle, but to thrive. Zecora was by no means completely anti-social, but the isolation of her chosen home served her well when it came to providing her with undisturbed time for meditation, or to brew her many alchemical potions and elixirs. Dipping her ladle into the latest batch of her now famous cure-all, the zebra shamaness sniffed the mixture contemplatively, before nodding her head in satisfaction. While the surrounding forest was more than capable of providing for most of her admittedly few needs, brewing and selling various potions at her stand in Ponyville provided her with enough bits to pay for the occasional luxury at Sugercube Corner, while also affording her the chance to socialize with her neighbors. Chuckling to herself, she thought back with wry amusement to the time when those same ponies who now called her friend had run in terror from the “evil enchantress”. Shaking herself from her trip down memory lane, Zecora began ladling the finished potion into its awaiting vials. She was startled from her task by the sound of branches breaking in the tree she had claimed as her home, followed by a shout of pain as somepony or something thudded to the ground outside her window. Taking up her stout traveling staff, Zecora cautiously slipped out her door and around her abode to the location of the disturbance. “I feel it only fair to give warning, intent to do me harm will lead to your mourning.” Coming around the corner, Zecora found herself looking down a long metal tube gripped in the massive hands of… just what was that? “Funny, ‘cause I was just thinking the same thing, so back up unless you wanna feel my Ma-Deuce’s sting.” Babs Seed carefully peered around the corner of the ally she was currently sheltering in. Scanning up and down the bustling sidewalk, she breathed a sigh of relief as she straightened up from her hiding spot. “There she is!” Well, buck. Spinning on her heel, Babs tore off down the alley, hoping to outdistance her pursuers. Ducking through gaps in fences, jumping overturned trash barrels, kicking over others in a vain hope that one would trip up one of her tormenters, Babs dodged from alley-way to sidewalk and back again. The end result was never in doubt though. Finally Babs came up against a fence that had been recently repaired. Turning on shaking legs, desperately trying to regulate her breathing, Babs put on what she desperately hoped was a nonchalant expression as her hunters slowly formed a rough semi-circle around her. There were four of them, three colts and one filly, all nearly old enough to be considered teenagers and most importantly (in their eyes) all possessing their cutie-marks. Swallowing down the crippling instinct to bolt, Babs attempted to talk her way out. It hadn’t worked yet, but miracles happen, right? “Hiya guys, nice weathah for a run, amiright?” The filly (and obvious ringleader) flashed a smile that reminded Babs uncomfortably of a certain shark from that film she had snuck in to see last weekend. Even more unfortunate, it was just before it had messily devoured the heroine. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite blank-flank.” One of the colts, a hulking specimen with a cutie-mark of a broken baseball bat, stepped forward menacingly. “Ya wants I should pound her face in fer showing her blank butt on our turf, Posy?” Babs swallowed; this was rapidly shaping up to be one of those days. She could already see the walls of the local trauma ward closing in… Posy shoved the colt back a step. “Calm down Bruiser, I’m sure the little blank has the toll this time. Right blanker?” This last at the now quivering filly before them. Taking a breath and attempting to still her suddenly weak knees, Babs decided that if she was going to go down, by Celestia she would go down swinging! Standing as tall as she could, she directed a glare at her tormenters. What she wouldn’t give to have Supermare’s eye beams right about now. Invulnerability would be nice too. “Alla youse guys need to back off, alright? You remember what happened the last time youse bums tried ta pull this donkey dung wit me.” Posy made a show of examining her hoof for dirt. “Oh yes, I remember very well. Poor widdle blanky wan and tattled to daddy.” Her eyes suddenly snapped onto Babs, hard as flint. “Well, daddy won’t save you this time. In case you forgot, daddy dearest got his flank shipped out today, isn’t that right Babsy?” Babs swallowed hard, that was the trouble with having a devoted father who paid the bills with weeklong fishing expeditions. Sure he had her back when he was home, but when he wasn’t? Tartarus on earth. Posy and her gang started moving in. “You know blanky, now that you mention it, the regular toll just isn’t going to cut it. I’m thinking you need to be taught a lesson in just what it means to cross the 12th St. Sluggers.” Steeling herself, Babs pulled her hooves up in front of her body, taking the boxing stance cousin Brock Apple had showed her last family reunion. “Well, come on then youse sorry sacks of manure. Bring it you excuses fer rump-ticks!” Oh horseapples, this was going to HURT. Or it would have, had something not swan dived into the large garbage barrel just behind the menacing bullies. Said something was cussing and swearing a blue streak, and even Babs with her fisherpony father winced at some of the words spilling out of the receptacle. Posy kicked one of her toadies (with, appropriately enough, a cutie-mark of a toadstool) towards the shaking barrel. “Well, don’t just stand there like the useless lump you are, go see what it is!” Gulping audibly, the colt began inching his way towards the now tipped over barrel. Just as he got within spitting distance, something tumbled its way out of the overturned barrel, and stood up. And up. And up. And GREAT CELESTIA’S BEARD, WHAT WAS THAT?!!! The alley was suddenly emptier by about four bodies, as the once feared 12th St. Sluggers ran as fast as their hooves could take them for home. Tunnel Rat scratched his head with one hand, while pealing an over-ripe banana peel off his shoulder with the other. “Man, I don’t know what I got into, but I gotta be trippin. I could swear that those liddle horsies was talking…” it was then he noticed Babs Seed cowering in a corner of the alley furthest from where he was standing. Forget the trip to the hospital; she was going to be devoured by some kind of Garbage Monster! Her Poppa had warned her about what could be lurking in the sewers beneath Manehattan, but he had never mentioned the horrors that lurked within the common trash can! It was just too much, and Babs finally gave up her tenuous grip on lucidity. The last thing she saw was the look on the Garbage Monster’s face. It looked… confused? As days went, the small group of close knit friends known as the Cutie-Mark Crusaders had known worse. Just barely, but still, being covered in pie filling beat running from a manticore. Flicking a particularly stubborn glob of cherry off her horn, Sweetie Belle sighed unhappily. “Well, that could have gone better.” Scootaloo was wrestling with the cream soaking into her feathers. “Really, what tipped you off? The part where we didn’t get pie eating contest cutie-marks, or the part where Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon decided it would be funny to buck the table over on top of us?” Applebloom looked up from where she was dunking her hair-bow in a small bucket of water. “Ah gotta admit, ah was not expecting those two to get so physical with their nastiness. Usually all we gotta worry about from them is some remarks about our blank-flanks, or some-such.” Scootaloo finally gave up her wings as a temporary lost cause, and crossed her forelegs with a huff. “S’not fair! Not only do we not have our cutie-marks yet, but now we gotta worry about those two actively sabotaging us?! I don’t know about you girls, but I’ve just about had it with Diamond and Silver.” Nodding angrily, Applebloom was quick to agree with her pegasus friend. “Ya’ll ain’t the only one Scoots. This time those two stuck up no-good polecats have gone too far. Ah say we take a break from crusadin’ and see if we can put our heads together towards making their lives miserable fer once!” Gnawing her lip anxiously, Sweetie Belle found herself forced to once again provide the voice of reason for her slightly hotter-headed friends. “I don’t like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon any more than you do, but do you really think we need to get revenge? I don’t remember it working out so well for us the last time we tried. Remember the first time Babs came to visit?” Her fellow Crusaders visibly wilted at the recollection. “Ah suppose yer right Sweetie”. “Yeah, I guess so”. Sweetie Bell smiled at having been able to talk down her friends from doing something rash for once. That smile quickly faded, however, as the problem they had previously been discussing forced its way to the forefront of her mind once again. “Just cause I don’t think we should actively pursue a revenge scheme against Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be ready for if they try to go after us first.” Scootaloo perked back up. “Yeah, this just means we need a way to defend ourselves if those two plot-heads try anything else along with our usual crusader plans!” Applebloom scowled at her friend’s language, but agreed regardless. “Mah granny always says, ‘when dealing with rattlers, talk soft but keep one hoof on the hatchet’. Near as ah can figure, she means that some ponies ya gotta be ready fer if they try tah double-cross ya.” The crusaders quickly set off for their clubhouse, eager to begin work on their next dual cutie-mark/bully defense plan. Stopping for a few minutes at the stream that ran through the Apple family orchard to finish cleaning the remnants of the ill-starred pie eating contest attempt, their attempts at washing themselves quickly devolved into an impromptu water-fight. Finally, giggling and shoving playfully, the CMC made their way to the small tree fort that had been passed down from Applejack to her younger sibling. All was not well however. As the fillies began approaching the clubhouse, they could see a gaping hole torn through the roof of their secret headquarters. Gasping in dismay, they quickly charged up the path to the front door, speculating as to what had occurred. “Great Celestia an’ Luna, what in tarnation coulda’ caused that?!” “I’ll bet you bits to donuts it was that dirty rotten Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon!” “Aw geez, I just finished putting up those curtains Rarity gave me!” Charging up the ramp to the entrance to the clubhouse, the CMC came to a sudden stop at the sight of just what had smashed through their roof and now lay sprawled amid the wreckage. “What is that?!” “Ah dunno, don’t look like no critter ah’ve ever seen before.” “I like its cloths, kinda a pretty green.” Creeping closer, they began examining the intruder in greater detail. “Land sakes, wouldja look at the size of it? Ah bet it would stand taller than even big bro!” “Check it out, lookit the awesome sword!” “Careful Scootaloo, it looks sharp. Ooh and shiny!” “Come on Scoots, put that down before ya cut yerself. Hey it’s got another one!” “Guys?” “Looks like it’s wearing some kind of mask.” “Kinda looks like some kinda ninja pony mask.” “Guys?” “Ninja pony? Like what Mr. Filthy Rich dressed up as for last Nightmare Night?” “Eeyup” “Guuuys?” “Just a sec Sweetie. I guess it looks kinda like that, except for the little detail that this IS NOT A PONY!” “Don’t you yell at me Scootaloo, ah know it ain’t no pony. Kinda looks like a minotaur, jes’ without any horns.” “GUYS!!!” “Geeze Sweetie Belle, you don’t have to shriek. What’s the matter anyway?” “I think it’s awake.” “…” “Ah shoot.” The newly reformed Humble and yet still Great and Powerful Trixie was just certain that there was no way for this day to go wrong. Her latest tour of Equestria was met with, if not overwhelming success at least moderately profitable accomplishments. Her newly redesigned show, incorporating puppets of various Equestrian heroes had been a big hit with at least the young foals of the towns she visited, and that in turn had meant a steady if small stream of bits coming her way. Yet it was still not enough! That Twilight Sparkle, she had gone from simple librarian to the fourth Princess of Equestria. Surely, a unicorn as Great and Powerful as Trixie was every bit as capable as some mousey bookworm. All she needed to do, was enroll herself as apprentice to Princess Sparkle, and Alicornhood would be within her grasp! Did not Twilight herself start as student to a princess? Whatever she could do, Trixie was sure to excel at! Trixie had to pull her wagon to a stop at that, shaking her head at herself in admonishment. She WOULD NOT go down that road again, for down that path lay ursa minors. She would HUMBLY request an audience with Twilight, and respectfully ASK if she could study at her hooves. Surely she wouldn’t refuse such a request, especially coming from a unicorn of such magical prowess. Further introspection was abruptly curtailed, however, by a thundering roar coming from the forest running alongside the path. Trixie froze in fear, as the undergrowth seemed to explode outward, disgorging a fully grown (and very angry) manticore! Trixie cursed her decision to take the road running alongside the infamous Everfree Forest, and began preparing to charge a concussive blast spell. It likely wouldn’t do much to hurt such a large monster, but it might buy her enough time to escape with her life. As she was preparing to cast, however, Trixie realized that the manticore was currently engaged with trying to devour what looked like a hornless minotaur dressed in black. Trixie watched in fascinated horror as the manticore pinned the creature down against the road with one paw, while readying it’s stinger to deliver a lethal dose of toxin to its intended victim. Suddenly, the black-clad creature flung it’s appendages up towards the manticore’s face, two strange blocky items clenched in its multi-digited hands. With a sound like an out of control rivet gun, fire spat from the ends of the strange devices, while the manticore’s head seemed to disintegrate. Horrified, Trixie stumbled to the side of the road and began violently emptying her stomach of its contents. When her gut finally finished revolting against her, Trixie unsteadily swayed to her hooves, wiping her mouth with the edge of her traveling cloak. Focusing her watering eyes on the sight of the slaughter, she was shocked to see the creature in black stumbling towards her, limbs gripping its abdomen. Trixie was very nearly sick all over again when she caught a glimpse of the extent of the creature’s injuries. The manticore’s razor sharp claws had carved the black creature from its shoulder all the way down to its waist. The creature managed two more faltering steps, before sinking down into the dust of the roadside. Trixie hesitated for a split second, and then with a toss of her mane, she charged a levitation spell and lifted the injured creature into her wagon, followed with a hasty bandaging using one of her sheets. Harnessing herself back to the wagon, she took off at a gallop for Ponyville. Even if the creature inside her wagon was dangerous (and how could it not be, to take down a manticore by itself?) she likely owed her life to it, and would do all in her power to ensure it got to a doctor, or vet, or whatever it needed to stop it from bleeding out.