//------------------------------//
// 10:30AM - Resource Management with Applejack 
// Story: One of Those Days 
// by Taranth 
//------------------------------//

“Oh Celestia, oh Celestia how did I not notice that.”

A thoroughly flustered Twilight Sparkle wandered through the morning bustle of town, now somewhat more crowded in the late morning. Her head was still spinning and her adrenaline pumping as she muttered to herself.

“Just what kind of alternate universe did I think this was, anyway? Why would I think that Rainbow would suddenly have gained an appreciation for magical theory and the scientific method along with a—” she cut herself off with a strangled yelp and shook her head hard, trying to dislodge the image of the smirk on Blitz’s face.

She picked her pace up a little, trotting along at speed with her wings fluttering restlessly at her side. Part of her wanted to take off again, fly away faster than she could walk in the crowded street, but the idea of running into Blitz again right now was sufficient reason to stay groundbound.

“Yeah, I can just imagine it. ‘Come back already, did you? I knew you couldn’t resist the Bli—’ Ugh.” She grit her teeth, picking up her pace again, now only just shy of a full-on jog. “What was he even thinking anyway? Does he really think that if I was Dusk as a filly I’d be interested in something like that? You don’t just proposition your friends like that! I should know! Friendship is what I do!”

Half a lifetime of avoiding obstacles while wandering through the castle carrying books was all that kept Twilight from running into the ponies and structures around her, focused as she was on the ground and thinking out loud.

“I mean even if we were naturally… compatible, we’re practically opposites! The student and the athlete, the egghead and the jock, the serious librarian and the prank-loving layabout! Why would she even think I… would… wait.”

Twilight skidded to a stop in the middle of the road, blinked twice, and facehooved with all the royal dignity she could muster – which at this point was admittedly not much.

“Prank. The whole thing was a prank.” She shook her head slowly, and groaned. “Hook, line and sinker, Twilight. You’re an idiot. Of course Blitz wouldn’t be thinking like that, he’s just trying to get a rise out of you and make… well, Dusk… feel better with an uncomfortable situation. In his own weird way.”

She started walking again, much more slowly now, her flight-or-fight instinct thankfully fading away. “Knowing him, he still didn’t take in a word I was saying, but he didn’t mean what he said. I mean, since when would he find me… what did he say? ‘Really hot as a mare’?” She chuckled, rolling her eyes at the absurdity of it.

Although it was kinda nice to hear that… chimed in some treacherous thought process. Do I really want to work so hard to justify him not finding me ‘hot’?

She rolled her eyes as that sunk in. “What, seriously? I’m going to get upset now because he doesn’t think I’m attractive? This is ridiculous.” She sighed and walked on. “Of course he doesn’t. Just a huge joke to him. Rainbow Dash wouldn’t think something like that, and neither would Blitz, because they’re the same pony.”

And would Rainbow Dash have the patience to listen for an hour while I lectured on about multiverses and studies without making any snarky remarks whatsoever, if she wasn’t… distracted? Just for a prank?

Twilight skidded to a halt again, eyes wide.

“…Sure she would.”

And that look when I first opened my wings?

“He could just have been seeing the opportunity for the prank in the first place…” she whispered weakly.

And the number of times he was staring at me so hard he forgot where he was going?

“Rainbow… can be a good actor… when she wants?” It sounded about as convincing as Rainbow trying to deny her excitement over the upcoming Daring Do book, a comparison that only reinforced its own point.

“Dusk Shine! Hey, Dusk, what are you doing? You have a moment?”

Another voice broke into her argument with her own thoughts, and she latched onto it as a lifeline to drag her out of the dangerous cycle she found herself in. Putting on her best princess smile, she turned to her saviour.

“Hello! Sure I do! What can I… oh.”

Her smile dropped instantly as she spotted the figure heading towards her. Mint green coat, white stripe in mane, excessively eager smile, and horn glowing yellow with a train of books, journals and some other strange-looking objects floating in a string beside him.

“Awesome! Because I think I’ve found some new discoveries you might be interested in!” replied the stallion. And now she knew who it belonged to, the passionate exuberance in that voice was clearly identifiable even in a male register.

“Oh… um… I really… ah!” She looked around frantically, before focusing up at the sun. “Actually, it’s later than I thought! I need to meet up with Applejack all the way out at Sweet Apple Acres! Long way to go! Bye!”

Without waiting for a response, Twilight lit her horn and vanished from the market before the stallion. He sighed, looking at his collection as if to determine which of them had so offended the alicorn, then trotted back towards his house, plotting his next attempt.


~-~-~-~


The (less eccentric) townsfolk of Ponyville had watched their Prince wander the town – walking around at high speed as if in a hurry to get somewhere but ending up doing nothing but running laps around the market at random; muttering to himself in frustration, with Rainbow’s name coming up several times; randomly skidding to a halt and staring for long moments; and arguing with somepony who didn’t appear to be there.

For the most part, they followed the correct and informally agreed procedure for this course of action: They stayed out of his way, didn’t disturb him, and let him figure things out. A Dusk Shine in that state could a dangerous thing to startle or interrupt, and nopony wanted to cause any trouble for the prince.

Not that anypony believed that he would do anything spiteful, of course! It simply was a wise decision not to disturb a preoccupied demi-deity with a history of slight frustration issues and a habit of making unexpected magical effects occur.

The fact that he appeared to be a she today did little to make that decision any harder.

So it was that when he (she?) disappeared after Harpsy tried to petition her (him?) for the umpteenth time, and everything else in town remained the correct orientation, species, and gender, the village gave a collective sigh of relief.

Then, without missing a beat, followed the correct and informally agreed procedure for the period immediately following such a situation:

They started gossiping as if the fate of Equestria depended on it.


~-~-~-~


The ascension-given ability to recognise and track magical signatures was a useful one at times, but how effective it was strongly dependent on exactly which pony Twilight was hunting for, as the magic it picked up was strongly dependent on the personality of the pony who gave it off.

Rainbow had always been easy, strongly noticeable and recognisable; Pinkie Pie, also usually easy, although she’d still been given some strange false positives and negatives at times that she had to fight her instinct to investigate, as she was not nearly prepared enough for an alicorn-powered second run at understanding Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy’s signature was almost invisible, as if it tried to hide itself, making her almost impossible to locate.

Searching for Rarity had even odds of finding her or somepony wearing one of her more impressive dresses, and Applejack was fairly easy to find – so long as she wasn’t on her farm. The whole of the acres resonated with her magic, and she might as well have been one of the apple trees for all the luck Twilight would have had locating her – or, in this case, him – with that ability.

So without the ability to magically locate and teleport to her friend, and still not willing to take to the air again just yet, the best way to ensure she met up with Applejack would just be to walk in along the road from the town proper. They had simply agreed to meet up on the farm, so there was a good chance he would head out to meet Dusk – and thus her – on the way.

While this boded well for her schedule, it unfortunately meant that she was once again left alone with her thoughts, having escaped one of the few ponies she was less enthused to deal with than Blitz right now.

So, taxing her mental discipline to its limits, she switched her train of thought to a related but slightly less panic-inducing track:

Any study I do in the differences between a mostly-stallion and a mostly-mare Equestria is going to be tainted by my own presence.

This was actually a fairly serious matter. As a rather significant figure herself, the mere fact that she was the incorrect gender was going to turn heads, change reactions, and corrupt data.

Corrupting data, that’s how I’m thinking about Blitz’s proposal now?

Of course, this did mean that she could perform a number of other studies, but unfortunately that would then be tainted by the fact that she wasn’t entirely certain what the difference between the two universes was. She couldn’t isolate the study with both factors in play, and thus couldn’t be sure if the changes were due to the world’s gender difference, or her own.

The only reasonable way to actually ensure that her gender didn’t impact the study would be to find some spell to actually change it. That would mean that she could study this place as a stallion – thus, everyone would see what they would expect.

The idea of going through the process of transferring myself to another universe where everyone changes gender, and then changing my own gender, is ridiculously convoluted.

Of course, if she could figure out a spell like that, she could do the other study as well, by casting it in her own Ponyville.

And after all the trouble I’ve gone to trying to make it clear that that isn’t what I’m doing, now it’s the first thing that comes to mind?

…Wow, I got to the end of my sarcastic rejoinder without actually bringing up Rainbow Bl… damn.

I need to get myself some closure on this, or I’m gonna wake up a stallion next time my magic acts up.

She sighed, trying to align her brain back into scientist mode as she walked down the path between the rows of apple trees. Alright. Need to figure out some base rules if I’m going to get any good out of this. At the very least, I can use this trip as a baseline for future experiments. So far, matters are not encouraging, but we don’t have many data points. Pretty much just Spines and Blitz – Cheerilee or whatever-his-name-is seemed pretty much the same, and I saw enough of Lyra to think the same there.

Spines has too many unique factors to count. So, so far we have two small data points saying unchanged, and one large possible outlier saying… what exactly?

I don’t even really know what questions I’m asking yet, do I?

Well, at least I shouldn’t have to worry about—

“Well, hel-lo there, sugarcube. What brings a pretty little pegasus like you all the way out here?” a deep voice drawled behind her.

—or, maybe I do.

She turned slowly for maximum effect, giving her best unimpressed scowl to the stallion standing leaning against the tree. His relaxed, cool pose faltered almost immediately as his eyes flickered to the horn on her forehead, staring in shock. Twilight had to fight a little to keep her face straight as he stumbled – nothing like a smirk to ruin a perfectly good glare – but managed well enough.

“Would you like to try that greeting again, Applejack?”

“Dusk! Ah, hey there! Wow, Ah’m sorry, Ah didn’t, uh, recognise ya, with the whole…”

“Magic mishap.” As if that wasn’t obvious.

“No kiddin’. So, uh, you turned you—”

She cut him off rather suddenly, her magic freezing his mouth. “Oh no. I’m not going through this again.” He blinked, struggling slightly with the mystic muzzle, but she held it strong. “Listen carefully – I’m only going through this once. I did not turn myself into a mare. I’ve just moved from a parallel universe.

“I’ve always been a mare. In the Ponyville I’m from, everypony is a mare. Everypony that’s a stallion here, I mean, and vice versa. But apart from that, everything’s… mostly the same – so I still recognise everypony here, I still know you, we’re still friends, I still have the same schedule, and so I’m helping out here. I assume Dusk’s doing the same back in my home.”

She paused, trying to think if she’d missed anything. “Oh! My name’s Twilight Sparkle. You can call me Twilight. Or Dusk, I guess. I’m getting a bit used to it now. Anyway.” She released the magical hold, and Applejack worked his jaw now it was free. “Repeat it.”

“What?”

“What I just said. Who am I?”

“Umm… you’re Twilight Sparkle, you’re from, uh, some other Ponyville where we’re all mares?” Applejack said slowly.

“Thank you! That’s all I needed.” She smiled brightly, for the first time since they’d met. “Sorry, I’m just getting a little sick of the whole ‘turned yourself into a mare’ thing…”

“Fair enough, Ah s’pose!” Applejack chuckled, moving over to join Twilight on the path. “…Seriously? All mares? …Even Blitz?”

“Yeah, but it’s ‘Rainbow Dash’. Pretty much the same I think, except for a few habits and wow you’re big.”

Now that the apple farmer wasn’t amongst the trees, she could get a solid look at him. Where Rainbow had been the slightest built of the group, Applejack was the largest – the Apples were a solidly built clan if ever there was one – and she had expected that to be emphasised in her stallion counterpart; the farmer did not disappoint. Objectively, he wasn’t actually as large as Macintosh was in her own Ponyville, but she was used to Macintosh being the largest stallion in the town by a good margin – having one of her friends loom over her like this was a whole other matter.

It was actually interesting to see how much Applejack didn’t resemble Big Mac. The image of a recoloured copy must have stuck in her head when she’d used the older Apple to fake a gender-changing spell in her duel with Trixie, but the differences were quite noticeable. The colours were naturally unchanged, but unlike Big Mac’s short-cropped mane and tail, the male Applejack’s were no different, worn long and thick and bound by a band near the end of each.

He also lacked the unshorn fetlocks and rougher coat – Twilight quietly put that down to the local Rarity’s influence – giving him a surprisingly well-cultured look for a farmer, although still wrapped around a body apparently built from brick. She wouldn’t be surprised if he weighed twice what Rainbow Blitz had, and probably not far off that for herself either.

But most telling was simply the body language. There was no trace of Big Mac’s slow and careful movement or half-lidded, slowly-considering gaze – Applejack’s energy and grace were easily seen in the larger frame.

He cleared his throat loudly, making her snap her gaze back to his face. “Not that Ah don’t appreciate it, but if yer set on following Dusk’s schedule, we got work to do.”

“Yes!” Twilight nodded quickly, and turned back towards the farmhouse, blushing slightly. “Lots to do. You’ve got everything set up and ready?”

“Ready as can be! Just needs the magic touch.” He grinned, moving up to walk beside her.

“Well, I think I can convincingly claim to be able to provide that. Let’s see if we can’t get ready to set a record!”


~-~-~-~


“Do we really go through this much every Winter Wrap Up?” Twilight asked, stunned at the number of crates and barrels piled around the barn.

“Yup! Don’t feel like that much when it’s spread around the town, but put it together and it stacks up pretty high. We got the seeds and stock piled up on the left, most of the equipment on the right.” He gestured to each pile in turn.

“I’m glad I’m here for this, then…” she sighed.

“Took a lot of wranglin’ to get everypony to chip in on this, too. Ah’ll admit Ah’m still not fully convinced this is the best way of handlin’ things, havin’ everything all stored in one place.”

“It will be better, I promise. We’ve had too many little problems in the wrap-up where somepony wasn’t prepared and didn’t have the stock – this way, we’ve got everything prepared ahead of time, and we can be ready to clean it up before winter even starts!” She grinned.

“Ah know, ya already sold me on it before, otherwise Ah wouldn’t be givin’ ya a whole barn for the whole winter. It’s already built up just like you asked. Ah just gotta know, what’s your plan if something happens to the barn? That means we lose everything.”

“Don’t worry. Soon as we get everything loaded up, I’m going to load this thing up with the most powerful preservative spell I know. Even if the whole town got eaten by parasprites, flattened by an Ursa, and overrun by the Everfree Forest, this barn would still be standing at the end of it.” She grinned, thunking the side of the barn with a hoof.

“Sugarcube…” Applejack shook his head, scowling deeply. Twilight rolled her eyes.

“Oh, come on, this totally doesn’t count as using magic for Winter Wrap Up. It’s just… getting everything ready beforehand. We’ll still do the actual wrapping up by hoof.”

“Yeah, but… just wanna make sure you know what your spells are gonna do first, yeah? We don’t need another trees that buck back incident, do we?”

“Oh, come on, that’s not fair!” Twilight groaned. “I’m not gonna make the barn fight ponies for its contents.”

“Ya didn’t plan to make the trees fight us for the apples either!”

“I didn’t think they’d do that! How was I supposed to know they’d do that? Besides, we worked things out with them in the end, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, but we lost half an orchard.”

“And now there’s a whole new species of apple-pony settling the east!”

“…Ah’m not sure if that’s helpin’ your argument.”

“What? It’s fantastic!” Twilight groused. “Just because they’re a little unreasonable with us…”

“Yer still bitter that they won’t let ya study them, aren’t ya?”

“Whole new species!” she gestured wildly with both forelegs and wings, as if this explained everything. Applejack laughed, unable to keep his stern face before the flailing mare.

“Alright, alright! Just promise me no experimental magic.”

“None. It’s really advanced magic – time magic, mostly – but nothing I’ve created, it’s been in use for thousands of years. Literally, in some cases.”

“Time magic?”

“We close the doors, four months pass out here, and a few seconds pass inside. Nothing can happen, because there’s no time for anything to happen in. It’s a spell used to protect important documents, treasure hordes, artifacts and the like from the ravages of the centuries.”

“…Okay, ain’t that maybe a bit overkill for some farmin’ supplies for a few months?”

“In this town?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “I’m already thinking of ways to improve it for next year.”

“Right, right. Just promise me you’ll have a backup if you get too interesting.”

“I promise.” Twilight smiled. “Now, if everything’s here…”

“Me and Gala did a checklist and everything.” Applejack grinned.

“Gala? Oh! As in the apple Red Gala? Wow, that’s… that works!” She took a few moments to try to imagine Macintosh as a mare, but given how wrong she’d been with Applejack, she was probably completely wrong again. No more distractions! “Bring me your checklist! Let’s get to work!”


~-~-~-~


The inside of the barn had, as Applejack had stated, been completely altered. Instead of a mostly wide open space it was now tightly packed with shelving, floor to ceiling, well supported all the way down.

It was a rather complex plan, and its efficiency relied on the fact that it was she who was doing it – there was probably nopony else who could manage this, at least not without spending far more time and effort. The loads she was dealing with would be difficult to impossible for a pegasus to lift in the space provided; a strong unicorn could probably do some of it, but they wouldn’t be able to see where everything went in the various shelving levels; A team of earth ponies might have handled it if some lift equipment was installed, but with a great deal of work. A team of all three together was the only reasonable way to wrangle this job – or, in this case, one alicorn.

Her natural talent for organisation was simply a bonus.

The two of them got into a rhythm quickly, stacking up piles of barrels and equipment onto a trolley, shifting it into the centre of the barn, and then flying them up into the various compartments according to the sorting list they had put together. Repeat until complete.

It wasn’t the most intellectually challenging work she had ever undertaken – especially with Applejack holding the diagram and directing her to the location of each item in turn – which gave her plenty of opportunity to chat with him while they worked.


~-~-~-~


“So how much trouble’re the Crusaders on your side? They’re bad enough here, but give ‘em filly eyes and they’d have all ‘f us wrapped neat around their hooves.”

“Cheerilee – err, whatever his name is here, their teacher – he already said the same thing.” Twilight laughed. “Stopped me to make sure there was no way I’d be turning them into fillies.”

“Poor stallion. Ah love my li’l brother, but having to deal with him and his friends every day, bored and adventurous… Ah don’t envy him at all. And if they were fillies… that goes fourth shelf, right near the back on the right.”

“Got it. Well, you have to remember that most of the town are mares too - it’s a little less effective on us than on stallions. Admittedly, only a little!” Both of them chuckled, remembering the many interesting trials the young trio created for themselves and those around them. “These go on the third shelf, right?”


~-~-~-~


“Y’know, sometimes Ah wonder if that power ‘f yours is anything like chaos magic?”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Twilight glared down from the third shelf, pausing her stacking.

“Well ya gotta admit, there’s a fair bit of random to it, right? Ah mean, ‘f you was jus’ thinkin’ one day that those clouds looked like cotton candy…”

“My magic is based on friendship! Not chaos!”

“So you sayin’ you couldn’t cotton candy up clouds if you wanted to? Second shelf, far left side for these barrels.”

“Well… I could, probably. But can you imagine what he’d be like afterwards? ‘Oh, Twilight, I knew you’d grow an appreciation for the classics!’” She deepened her voice to mimic Discord with a roll of her eyes as she moved in the latest load without landing. “I have no intention of copying any of his tricks, no matter how… harmless. Where do these go?”

She floated lazily in the middle of the room, hovering between the shelves with a couple of crates held in her grip. After a moment, she looked down, seeing the stallion staring up at her blankly.

“...Applejack?”

“What? Oh! Right. Um, bottom shelf on the right.” He focused back on the list hurriedly. “Let’s get the next lot out.”

She sighed to herself, realising how pointless impersonation was when dealing in a universe where everypony’s voices were completely different. “Why do I have a feeling I’m going to be running into Discord before I get back to my Ponyville…”


~-~-~-~


“So Red Gala’s not as big as you, but you still make her do the plowing?”

“Ha! Make her! That’s funny.” Applejack barked out a laugh. “The whole Apple Family together couldn’t pry that collar offa her. Think she thinks it’s a fashion statement or somethin’. First shelf on the left.”

“I’ll admit, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Big Mac without it on…”

“Big Mac, huh?”

“Eeyup.” She giggled. “He’s even bigger than you.”

“Well, Gala’s bigger’n half the stallions in town, so that don’t surprise me. Top shelf on the right!”

“Are you just putting these on at random? Wouldn’t it be easier to do it one shelf at a time, instead of randomly grabbing a bunch of things to put in? Means I wouldn’t have to fly back and forth so much.” She flapped up to the higher shelves, cargo in tow.

“The whole idea is to get ‘em in the right order on the way out, not the way in.” Applejack chuckled. “Why, ge—”

“If the next words out of your mouth are in any way insinuating I’m getting tired because I’m not a stallion, I will let you do the next load yourself.”

“Next lot’s bottom shelf on the left!”


~-~-~-~


“So… do you actually know how those apple-ponies are going?” Twilight asked, her voice going quiet.

“Ain’t you get reports on stuff like that?”

“I’m not really supposed to. They refuse to have anything to do with me.” 

“Awww, that’s no fair. Ah mean, you’re kinda their father! Er, Ah mean, mother.”

“Gah! I’m not sure which is weirder!” She shook her head, trying to dislodge more unfortunate images.

“Second shelf, right side. And hey, this ain’t the only time you’ve brought somethin’ to life.”

“It’s the only one that’s lasted… are you sure this is where this goes? It doesn’t seem to match.”

“Oh! Sorry, left side, Ah got mixed up.”

“Ah.” She tugged the snow shovels over to the opposite side, floating above. “Well, even if I can’t study them, and even though I am not their mother, they are kinda my responsibility.”

“Well, last Ah heard they’re doin’ pretty well for themselves. Heard tell from my cousins out that way it’s a bit of an interesting time gettin’ the apples through negotiatin’ rather than buckin’. Although, Ah heard ‘em suggest there might be some of that goin’ on too…”

“Huh? I thought that was part of the problem?”

“Well, y’know how everypony knows us Apple clan really love apples?”

“What do you— Euuurrrrgh!” She recoiled, as her friend burst into laughter at the look on her glowing-red face. “Applejack! Please tell me you’re joking!” She gestured at him with the stack of hay hefted in her magic.

“Third shelf on the left!” Applejack managed to gasp out between bursts of laughter.

“Ughhh.”

“...Actually, sorry, second shelf on the right.”

“Applejack!”

“Sorry!” He was still chuckling, watching as she flew across the room again.

“Are there any other mistakes you’d like to mention?”

“Well…” He looked at the diagram for a bit, then rapped a hoof against the last of the current load.. “...Ah think we got most of it right, but this next crate needs to go near the back of the fourth shelf… behind those barrels that are already in there.”

“I told you we needed to organise it better on the way in!” Twilight growled, floating up to reorganise the current contents to another shelf so she could load in the next.

“Oh, by the way, y’know any good ways to get out splinters from sensitive areas?”

“Why? Are you getting… oh, eww. Very funny. ...Also, ouch.”


~-~-~-~


“Um, this one goes top shelf on the right.”

“Got it.”

“Third on the left.”

“Here?”

“Wait, no, on the right.”

Twilight ground her teeth together, flying over to the other side and slotting the bundle of bells among other equipment. As the warehouse had filled, the final few pieces were less grouped, meaning they had to spend more attention on putting it together and less on conversation. At the same time, Applejack’s instructions were seeing increasing errors, sending her flying back and forth across the warehouse.

She wasn’t getting tired – her alicorn-granted endurance meant she could keep this up all day – but she was getting a bit frustrated.

“This one?” She lifted a barrel full of water.

“Should be some room for it on the third shelf on the left.”

“Don’t think so…”

“Move a bit more this way?”

She frowned, floating over the shelves. “I don’t think so.”

“Keep lookin’, Ah’m sure it’s around there. Maybe it’s on the other side, Ah keep getting that mixed up a bit.”

She scowled again, flapping over to the opposite shelf. There was a little more room there, but still not enough for the barrel she held.

She was about to call that out when she noticed the reflection of Applejack in the polished edge of one of the nearby plows on the shelf beside her - staring right up at her with a grin, instead of looking at the sheet or the barrel.

Why is he… Oh, no.

“I don’t think there’s much room for it. Does the plan say it’s supposed to be closer to the front of the barn?” she asked, trying to keep the suspicion out of her voice.

“Yeah, over near the front.”

He didn’t even look at the sheet.

He’s just staring at me. From below.

With pinpoint control, she moved a little closer across the barn, trying to fight the urge to tuck in her tail between her legs.

We’ll see if he’s paying attention.

“I think I see where I can put it. A little to the left?”

“Yup!” She moved herself, and the barrel, to the left.

“Back a bit?”

“Sounds good!” Both her and the barrel moved back, away from the shelves.

“And I think I can just drop it here. Sound good?”

“Great! Nearly done! What’s—”

Applejack was cut off under a deluge of water as Twilight cracked open the bottom of the barrel, letting its contents flood down onto the stallion below. She slowly drifted down in her best ‘Imperious Luna’ impression, to land carefully before Applejack, who was trying to pull his sodden mane and hat from his muzzle.

“Wh-what was that?”

“That’s where you told me to drop it!” Twilight answered with sharp sweetness. “Or were you not paying attention to where the barrel was?”

He blinked a couple times, then burst out laughing. “Yeah, that’s a fair cop. Ah mighta been a mite distracted.” He blushed, still grinning, wringing out his mane. “Ah’ll say Ah deserved that.”

The laughter did nothing to calm down Twilight. “Really?! I got this from Blitz, but I thought a bit better of you!” She growled. “I thought I explained I’m not Dusk turned into a filly!”

“Well, yeah, Ah got that.” He looked confused at that. “Ah wouldn’ta done something like that to Dusk, that’d make it all sorts of creepy. But you’ve been a mare all along, yeah? Ah’d think you’d be used to that sort of attention. Ah wasn’t kiddin’ before when Ah first saw you, y’know.” He gave her a winning grin.

Twilight opened her mouth to rebut that, but absolutely nothing came out. Three times she repeated, her expression fluctuating wildly as she tried to process a suitably scathing response, but not a sound escaped her.

“Errr, Twi?” He blinked, moving forward and reaching out to poke his semi-catatonic friend with a hoof. “Y’okay?”

Twilight’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks, and she took a deep, gasping breath in.


~-~-~-~


At the farmhouse proper, an old, green ear was flicked up as a piercing note echoed over the trees, sending rippling waves through the leaves above and birds flocking into the air.

Having lived on a farm by the Everfree for as long as Ponyville had stood made a pony well-acquainted with the noises the equine throat was capable of. Knowing the difference between a scream of terror and a squeal of joy, or the cry of various beasts of the forest, was a vital skill to master if one wanted to keep their family safe.

And thus it was, though half-deaf and with only a couple of seconds to judge the sound before the hound at his feet leapt up and howled an accompaniment, he relaxed back into his rocking chair, settled back for his nap, and mused with amusement at the games of youth, wondering what his stubborn grandson was doing to some poor mare’s mind to bring out a frustrated shriek of that caliber…