Chapter 50: Kizzy's Choice
Coming home to Sweet Apple Acres had never felt so good. After being away for so long, Smithy couldn't help soaking in every detail as she slowly walked toward the old house.
Prairie Tune and his family had been on the road touring their latest concert, so the farm had been left unattended to for months. The grass was overgrown, the windows on the house we're all dark, the barn needed a fresh coat of paint, the barn stalls would need to be cleaned and have fresh straw put in, the fields would need plowing, the apple trees needed bucking, the list went on and on.
While the thought of catching up on so many chores would sound like a never ending struggle, Smithy was excited to tackle the upcoming to do list. She rested an arm over Kizzy's shoulder as they walked up the steps, sharing a smile between the two of them as they listened to the floor boards on the porch moaning under their weight. "Sure feels good to be home," Smithy said as she opened up the front door and breathed in the musty smell of an unkept house.
While Kizzy was glad to see her mother looking so contented, the sheer look of the place felt distant and uninhabited. It was dark inside, smelled abandoned, and was a bit too quiet for comfort. Between the accumulated dust, cracked windows, and spider webs hanging everywhere, she was reminded of the empty warehouses that she, Lizza, and Salty Ron had hidden in while her mother was locked away in prison.
Not wanting to think of her own home as just another place to stay hidden away from society, Kizzy put on a bright smile for her mother's sake. “Where shall we begin?" she asked, watching her mother prance around the living room.
Smithy quickly opened up a window to let in some fresh air, breathing it in deeply before letting out a big sneeze. “We better start dustin'," she replied, making use of her handkerchief.
It didn't take long for the dusting to begin, followed closely by the sneezing. While all the windows were open to help with the dust, there was just so much of it that it was difficult to get anything done in good time without the aid of handkerchiefs.
Kizzy hung her head out of Filthy Rich's bedroom window as she shook the dust off of one of his teddy bears, sneezing from the dust hanging in the air. "So dusty, you poor bear," she said with another sneeze as she watched dust shake off of the old toy. "I am certain that Master Filthy Rich will be glad to see you clean again. I hope that he will be glad to see you too."
Smithy watched as sadness crept onto Kizzy's face as her daughter looked at the stuffed animal she had just cleaned off. "Now Kizzy," she said as she passed her daughter a handkerchief for her nose, "Filthy Rich is yer lil' brother, not yer master."
Kizzy hugged the teddy bear close to her chest, leaning her head against the bear's as she held it close. "I know that he is, mother," she admitted, having a hard time keeping her composure. "I want more than anything for him to see me as his sister, and not as his slave. I am ashamed to say this about my own brother."
Smithy drew her daughter into a hug. "Ya ain't got nothin' to be ashamed 'bout," she said, kissing Kizzy on the forehead. "Ya've had it awful rough, but it's gonna be fine. Just ya wait and see."
Kizzy buried her eyes into the teddy bear's head, wetting it down with her now free flowing tears. "I worry about him," she explained. "When you were away, everypony was so cruel to us. Even now, I am still not accepted. I do not know if my own brother will treat me as he wishes to be treated, just as other ponies do not choose to do so."
Smithy held her daughter and gently rocked her in her arms, listening to Kizzy's uneven, distressed breathing. "Hey now, he ain't all bad," she said, trying to remember the good in a son she hadn't seen in years. "Ya gotta understand, his daddy was such a big influence on him when he was just a boy, and his daddy was a real bad man. He made some terrible choices that effected a whole lotta ponies, but that's the life he chose to live. Filthy Rich is his own pony, and I reckon with mah mama and his uncles 'round, he's grown himself up into a right goodin' by now."
Kizzy looked around the room at the dusty, neglected toys and knick knacks, several of which Filthy Rich had surely outgrown by now. "How much do you think he has changed?" she asked, looking at the teddy bear's face as if she was looking at her brother.
Smithy sighed as she stroked her daughter's hair. "Hard tellin'," she replied. "He ain't written back to me in ages. When he did, he kept tellin' me he wanted to come home and how he was awful sore 'bout everythin' that happened with his daddy. I couldn't give him any answers back then, which is mah fault. But now that I can, I wanna set things right. It's just gonna take some time and some gettin' used to is all."
Kizzy set the teddy bear down on a side table next to some toys she hadn't cleaned yet, noticing an immediate difference between them. "I just want to be accepted as I am. Why must that be so much to ask?" she said, turning away from the teddy bear standing out among the other toys. "I know you say that this will take time, but how much time must I give?"
Smithy was dying to give her daughter an answer, but there was little she could say to make the situation better. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to form the words needed to comfort her child, but nothing seemed to come out. Even with the color of her own coat being solid like the rest of Equestrians, she understood how it felt to have to fight for her destiny and have it end up disappointing her rather than fulfilling her.
Kizzy wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof as she began to walk out of the bedroom. "I want to see my bees," she said, her head held low as she passed her mother. "They have always treated me as one of them. Perhaps it is my destiny that my stripes are yellow and black. Perhaps I am more of a queen bee than a dirtied zebra. They see the content of my character instead of the stripes of my coat."
Smithy watched her daughter walk down the hallway with her head hung low. She wanted more than anything to say something to uplift Kizzy's spirit, but what could she say at this point? It reminded her so much of how her own spirit was broken when she found Bladire dead in the Everfree Forest. It took her years to regain her zest for life, and even then it wasn't the same.
Smithy jumped the moment she felt a hoof on her shoulder. She turned quickly to see Lizza standing beside her, her expression surprisingly soft compared to the many looks she had received from the zebra over the years. Still, being in Lizza's presence had a way of making her feel frustrated, especially after years of being shadowed by her. "Oh, what do ya want now, ya tired old wrath?" she groaned.
Lizza huffed, offended as she quickly lowered her hoof from Smithy's shoulder. "I had no intention of offending, misses," she said, her expression hardening in offense as she backed away.
Smithy rolled her eyes as she stamped her hoof. "Would ya lay off the 'misses' nonsense!" she shouted. "I thought we were past that, fer cryin' out loud! Can't ya see how hard this kinda thing is on everypony!"
Lizza's expression softened again as she watched Smithy begin to tear up, realizing that she had brought the response upon herself from years of arguments. "Please, forgive me," she said, giving Smithy her space. "I am afraid that old habits die hard."
Smithy was angry with herself for getting upset so quickly. "Boy, ya sure hit the nail on the head there," she snuffled, frustratedly wiping her face with the back of her hoof. "That's the problem. Kizzy's unhappy with how ponies are treatin' folks like yerself, and it ain't gettin' better. She's afraid her brother's gonna be just like that."
Lizza exhaled her frustration as she sat down beside Smithy. "She has good reason to be concerned," she said, handing Smithy a handkerchief. "Master Rich was cruel to us, and his son thrilled in treating Kizzy with cruelty. You ask her to forget such things, yet if her brother does not, she will be left to his mistreatment again."
Smithy knew that Lizza was right, but hearing it wasn't easy. "I've been tryin' so hard to get mah family back together, and now it feels like it's fallin' apart," she said, wiping her eyes. "So what am I gonna do now?"
Lizza set a reassuring hoof on Smithy's, which surprised the both of them. "You should let her decide for herself what is best for her," she said, watching a tear roll down Smithy's cheek. "She will be grown soon. You have fought and suffered for her freedom to choose. It would be best to honor that."
The two of them walked up to the window, looking down at Kizzy. She was crying as she tapped on the bee hive boxes, watching as nearly nothing came out.
Smithy rested her head on her hooves as she looked at how unhappy her daughter was. "It is her choice, ain't it?" she whimpered.
Lizza gently shook her former mistress. "It is, thanks to you, Smithy," she said, a smile spreading across her face.
Before she knew it, Smithy wrapped her arms around her old adversary. She could feel Lizza hugging her back, something she never would have expected. "I'm so sorry fer everythin' I put y'all through," she wept.
Lizza squeezed her eyes closed as she hugged her former mistress. “You are forgiven," she whimpered, breathing heavily at the sudden need to express herself. “Please, if there is anything that I can do to help you through this difficult time, I will do all that I can to help you."
Smithy broke away from the embrace slowly, taking a turn in wiping away her tears. "Just help me with Kizzy," she requested. "No matter what she chooses, she'll need us both."
With a renewed sense of comoradery between the two of them, Smithy and Lizza walked outside to check on Kizzy. They found her laying in the overgrown grass near the bee hives, sniffling as she watched a bee ambling around on her hoof.
Kizzy could hear the two approaching her. She didn't bother looking up at them with her wet eyes, finding it hard to contain her emotions as the bee on her hoof stung her. “The bees," she wept, watching the bee fly away with its stinger missing. “They are gone. Only a few remain, and they are lost and confused as if they were left behind."
Smithy could see how hesitant Lizza was about approaching Kizzy, and not just because of the few bees present. It was horrible seeing Kizzy look so defeated, especially after years of telling her how much better her life would be after they had finally reached their goal.
Smithy sat down in the tall grass beside her crying daughter. She rubbed Kizzy's back absentmindedly, lost for words as she listened to Kizzy hiccuping just like she did when she cried too much.
There was a long silence between the mother and daughter as Kizzy focused on the bee that stung her crawling helplessly on the outside of the hive wall. She lifted her head up as soon as she saw it fall away from the hive, tenderly wrapping her hoof around it as it lay in the grass for the last moments of its life. “Shhhhh," she cooed, listening to the bee's last buzzing sounds become quieter and quieter. “You are with a friend now. Go to your peace knowing that you are loved, my friend."
Smithy was surprised to see her daughter behaving so tenderly to one insignificant little insect, treating it with kindness and compassion even after it had hurt her. She sat silently as the bee's buzzing finally stopped.
Kizzy brushed away a layer of dirt to bury the bee's body in. She then extracted the stinger from her hoof with her teeth and gently lay it next to the bee. “I forgive you for the pains that you caused," she whimpered to the bee before covering it over with dirt. “It pains me to see that the hurt you caused lead to your end, but now you can rest knowing that you have been forgiven."
Once the impromptu burial was completed, Kizzy put a small twig in the ground at the head of the freshly dug grave of the bee, a stick to be remembered by. She got up from the place where the bee lay to rest to brush the dirt from her hooves. “I am sorry that you had to see this," she apologized to her mother. “I know that you have seen so much death in your life. I know that it is silly to be saddened over the life of a bee."
Smithy shook her head at the notion. “Ain’t nothin' wrong with bein' respectful of the dead, even if they hurt ya before they go," she said, looking down at the care that went into the little grave. “Shows an awful big content of yer character to treat others well, even after all that."
Kizzy sighed deeply as she sat next to her mother to watch what bees remained, happy to feel her mother's arm resting on her shoulder. “Why would they want to leave?" she asked absentmindedly, watching a bee fly out of a hole in the hive box. "I always treated them so well when I was here."
Smithy could feel her daughter rest her head on her shoulder. She returned the gesture by resting her cheek against Kizzy's forehead. “Bees are kinda funny that way," she explained as best she could. “They’re kinda like youngins iffn ya think 'bout it. They like to go out on their own to seek their fortune, sometimes findin' what they really want, and sometimes not. Heck, some never leave the hive at all, like yer lil' friend ya just gave that nice burial too."
Kizzy sighed again as she listened to her mother talk. “Do you think they will return?" she asked, watching the bee fly back into the hive after failing to find a flower.
Smithy gently shrugged her shoulders, careful not to knock Kizzy's head away. “Hard tellin," she said in response to her daughter’s question. “That’s the thing 'bout life. Ya think ya know, then it turns out that ya don’t have all the answers like ya thought ya did. Just like the bees in yer hive here, ya gotta figure out if ya wanna stick 'round and play it out, or see if yer answers are out there someplace else."
Kizzy lifted her head up off of her mother's shoulder so that they could see each other eye to eye. “Are you saying that I should go?" she asked, so shocked that she was nearly breathless.
While her heart ached to be talking about the possibility of losing her daughter to the big wide world, Smithy knew it wasn't her decision. “I’m sayin' it's yer choice," she explained, letting her eyes leak as she spoke. “Yer free to do what ya like now, remember? Celestia’s orders. Just don't ferget that yer always welcome to fly on back to the hive if ya ever want to. There's always a place fer ya here iffn ya choose it."
Kizzy embraced her mother into a strong hug. “Thank you, mother," she cried with tears of joy. “I feared upsetting you so much that I did not know what to say, but I also fear losing you."
By now, Smithy was shaking with emotions. “Ya can’t lose what's stuck in yer heart," she replied, holding her daughter close. "Ya may be miles apart, but yer memories are nice and close."
Kizzy wiped her face with the back of her hoof, embarrassed by how much of a mess she looked. “We should rest," she suggested. “There will be much to prepare for."
Smithy agreed as she and Kizzy left the hives behind them to rejoin an overjoyed Lizza. Rest would be what she needed, especially with what she now knew was inevitable.