Chapter 58
“Hello Mere.” A deep voice said from behind me.
I spun around and saw the owner to the voice. “Discord.” I said glaring at the draconequus. “You are not supposed to be released yet, what are you doing out?” I asked him.
Discord just gave me a wide smirk. “Truth be told, I have absolutely no idea.” He answered.
“What?” I questioned.
Discord just chuckled. “Like I said I have no idea. One second I’m just standing there encased in stone, then I got bored and started to yawn. Took me about four more yawns to realize I was physically yawning not mentally. Soon after the fifth yawn however I began to figure out that I was no longer encased in stone. I stepped off the pedestal further proving that I was indeed flesh again. It looked around and I saw how lonely my pedestal looked so I made a little patch job for it, and started to do some exploring.” With a snap of his clawed hand the previous stone statue fell to the ground. Walking over I noticed that it was now a simple quilt made out of cotton. I touched it hesitantly…This is really soft. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
“How long?” I asked. Discord just raised an eyebrow. “How long have you been out and about?” I specified.
Discord put one of his talons to his head and scratched, another was rubbing his small beard, while his third was pouring a small cup of tea… Wait, His Third! I did a quick double take and saw indeed Discord was sporting a third arm.
Discord finished pouring his tea and was back at two arms, now drinking his cup of tea. “Well about what time was it when you talked to me this morning?” He asked me.
I thought back. “Well it was right before sunrise, so I’d say somewhere between five-thirty and six.” I told him.
“Alright then, I was probably released sometime around six-thirty then.” He told me.
I felt my eye twitching. “You’ve been out for that long?!” I asked him with a little worry and surprise.
“That’s quite right.” He responded.
I looked around quickly. “What have you been doing for that amount of time?” I asked him. “…and how has nopony noticed?” I added on with a little more confusion.
Discord just gave a soft laugh. “Well I did promise to keep myself in check. I’ve been trying what you told me too.” He answered, I gave him a questioning look. “I started out small and I’m building my way up slowly. My first act of chaos was just a few excess banana peels laying around the city. Which despite its simplicity is one of the most amusing things I have seen.” As he spoke I started to imagine many of the higher class ponies trotting around the city and randomly slipping on a banana peel. I would be lying if I said I didn’t chuckle at the thought.
Another thought entered my head quickly. “Did you do anything to Blue Blood per chance?” I asked him.
“Old stick in the mud. Yeah I got him good.” Discord said with a smile. That I actually returned.
“Details.” I said making him raise an eyebrow. “I want to hear the full details.” I told him with a grin.
Discord’s smile grew a few more inches. “Well, it all started with his favorite suit-” Discord said beginning his story. Which went somewhat along the lines of putting itching powder in his favorite suit, making his bath water freezing when he tried to wash it off, pouring a bottle of hot sauce into his soup when he was trying to warm up, replacing the sink he was trying to use to cool his mouth with a toilet, having a maid come in and claim that the toothbrush he was using to wash his tongue was the same one she uses for cleaning of the guard barracks latrines. By about then I had lost it and was laughing as hard as I could. I had learned pretty quickly from most everyone that had ever met him, that Blue Blood was one of the most pompous stuck up nobles in all of Equestria. After meeting him, I could tell that they were not exaggerating one bit. It felt good to see that Discord was using his powers to do some good… maybe not the right word but it sure feels good right now. “-And it was only after that he realized that I replaced his lip balm with a hardened stick of frozen yogurt I had pounded some spicy peppers into.” Discord said finishing up his story.
I continued to laugh. “Oh, that’s a good line of pranks. Oh that was a good laugh, but dang all that laughing left me pretty parched. I’ll be right back I need a drink.” I told Discord.
“Well I’d be happy to supply a drink, I did say before that I’d offer you one when I was still in stone.” Discord told me. With a snap of his clawed hand a glass of chocolate milk appeared in front of me.
“Oh, well, thanks.” I said taking the drink in my hoof and starting to chug it… ‘This tastes so bland. It’s like I’m drinking water. No, even water has more flavor than this.’ I brought the drink away from my mouth and looked at it, what I saw surprised me. In my hoof where I expected an empty glass was a cylindrical mass of chocolate milk, the glass it was in nowhere to be found. My mind flashed back to when he had offered the drink. ‘…A chocolate milk of glass… That suddenly makes a lot more sense.’
“You should probably get rid of that.” Discord told me.
I raised an eyebrow. “Why?” I asked as I tossed the chocolate milk towards a trash can a little ways off, that promptly exploded as the chocolate milk made contact with the rim of the can. The shockwave from the blast blowing my mane back slightly.
“Got your answer?” Discord asked me with a grin as he landed next to me.
I heard galloping hooves a little ways off. “Shadow we heard an explosion is everything alrig-” I heard Twilight saying as I heard the hooves turn the corner. She stopped speaking very quickly.
I turned my head and saw Rainbow, Skies, Twilight, and Princess Celestia all standing there staring wide eyed at me and my new company.
“Okay, I know this looks very strange, but I have a good explanation for this.” I told them quickly.
“I’ve learned that whenever you say that it means you’ve got nothing.” Skies said regaining her composure quickly.
“Hey I’m at least trying to think of something here.” I responded.
“And?” She questioned me.
“…Yeah, I’ve got nothing.” I told her shrugging with a little embarrassment.
“Discord! What is the meaning of this?!” Celestia asked her voice much louder than normal.
“You tell me!” He shouted back matching her volume.
The four of us remaining were switching from looking at the two in the argument as they had their stare down.
“So… care to explain.” Twilight whispered to me.
“Discord got freed, he doesn’t know why, he’s been going around since this morning causing some minor chaos, and he actually seems to be doing pretty well at controlling himself.” I whispered back answering her.
“Really?” She asked me with more than a little surprise.
“I know, I didn’t believe it at first too.” I responded.
“Twilight go and gather the other elements. We need to-” Celestia started.
“Oh come now Tia, what have I done so wrong that you wish to imprison me again?” Discord asked interrupting her.
Celestia looked to me I expect thinking since I was already here I would’ve seen him doing something. “I don’t think you really want to hear it but… I kind of agree with Discord.” I told her making her look at me surprised. “He’s been out since early this morning. Considering there have been nothing crazy reported I’m pretty sure he’s been doing pretty well at controlling himself.” I told her causing her to give me a slight glare, but still with a little surprise. ‘I hope I don’t get thrown in the dungeon again.’
Celestia looked back to Discord who was still standing there with a small scowl. Celestia gave a small sigh and closed her eyes. “Against my better judgment. I’m going to allow you to remain free.” Celestia told him. “but if I hear word that you’ve hurt any of my subjects I will not hesitate to have you turned to stone and banished straight to the moon.” She told him with some malice.
“I wouldn’t even think about it.” Discord said with a smile. “Now down to business, I know that the wedding is still on, so I think I’ll go ahead and give the couple the honor of having me crashing it but I’ll need to look the part.” He said snapping his claw and caused a very bright flash. When my eyes adjusted again I saw Discord standing where he had been before, but now he was wearing a suit. Truth be told it was the ugliest suit I had ever seen. It was a bunch of mismatched suits all cut apart and sown together forming a jigsaw suit that I’m sure would give Rarity a heart attack…but then why does Discord actually make it look good?
“How do I look?” He asked turning to me.
“…Chaotic.”
“Perfect. Let’s go.” He said as he started to walk off.
I sighed. “Well I better go tell Flare that we’re going to have an uninvited guest.” I said starting back towards the garden. Behind my I heard a small cough. I turned around and saw Skies pointing the opposite direction from where I was walking. ‘why would she be-…’ I turned around and started going the way she was pointing.