//------------------------------// // Chapter 9: Me, Dashie, and pain // Story: Hatred of the Anti-Brony // by Angrywritingskills //------------------------------// For a minute we stared each other down. It would have been intimidating if I was afraid. But instead I felt alive. The adrenaline inside me went on overtime and I swear if she comes within six feet of me I’ll tear her apart. I’m that pumped. She wore a Wonderbolts outfit something she seemed to always be wearing either to support her team or as an act of pride. Oh and a little fun fact about her ascension into the Wonderbolts. She would never have gotten into that little posse if it weren’t for the bronies. When they came around they spread their ideas about and eventually something came about that Rainbow Dash should be made a Wonderbolt. They absolutely demanded it! Literally sending letters and staging protests. Over a dumb pony not being in a group! See they started by praising that rainbow mare, swelling her ego and eventually after a big shit storm the Wonderbolts agreed that they’ll give this mare a shot. And they made it a big deal. The whole thing was televised and Rainbow Dash became a Wonderbolt and had a ceremony for the occasion. Too bad it wasn’t due to her own skill. What they don’t tell you about the Wonderbolts is they are not based on skill set alone. No a Wonderbolt is an entertainer and has to follow a procedure that is written by someone who coordinates everything. They’re more like the circus than fighter planes like bronies like to characterize them as. Problem with the Dash is she didn’t know that or still doesn’t know that. The Wonderbolts are based on following orders and instructions. Rainbow Dash is loose cannon and expects people to follow her, not the other way around. So a pony that wouldn’t listen to other makes a terrible choice for a Wonderbolt, no matter how skilled. Too bad the bronies like her so much. I’ve done my research. The actually test was not recorded since it had to be kept a secret. But somewhere in the darkest corners of conversation and just general thought; I found the unspoken truth about it all. It was all a big lie to appease the bronies. See Rainbow Dash actually failed her test miserably. See the test is two parts. One part tests a Pegasus’s skills at flying. Which Rainbow Dash passed but what she really failed was the psychological test. This test was to make sure she could be a follower or if she could do as she was told. Kind of like what the military does when they check pilots or people that are going to be operating a vehicle. But who would expect a mare with an ego as big as the sun to do that? Haven’t they even seen episodes such as The Mysterious Mare do Well or May the best pet win? Cause they could do that. They could go back and see that Rainbow Dash is not the pony you want to be set up for the position of an entertainer that serves as a role model for Pegasi. Oo a sonic rainboom! Yeah how about assisting the general welfare of a group. Six ponies you know well don’t count as cooperation. That’s just choosing favorites. Now some could argue that she’s the element of loyalty and a leader now so she is a good personality to be representing both Equestrian leadership and ponykind. No! My fucking dogs were loyal and nobody would make a dog a king. Ponies have changed. They aren’t innocent snowflakes like they were portrayed in the show. They’re scandalous and corrupt. Not so different from corruption in humanity but the evidence is there for anyone who looks. Ponies are the enemy. Ponies are what is making humanity start to become soft and anxious. Eventually I believe that ponies will overtake humanity with their culture and politically power that we gave them. Then we’ll be overtaken into a pony empire that excludes humans from prosperity. We’ll be pets. After a while a grin appeared on her face. “You know I’ve been watching you for a while. Can’t believe you didn’t spot me sooner.” Wait what? “Yeah I got her a while ago while you were busy hiding your stuff.” She boasted. “Let me just say you are exactly what I thought a car thief would look like.” That’s impossible! No way she could fly that fast. Could she? And what does she mean by stereotype. Better ask her. “Fuck you bitch!” I roared. Damn that came out wrong. “Heh. Yeah you’re the stereotype alright.” She continued. “Hot headed, foul mouthed, probably cowardly.” Cowardly? Oh I’ll show this bitch. “How bout you come down here and fucking say that to my face?” I yelled. “Gladly.” She said. With finesse she floated down in front of me. “Now how bout you just hand yourself in. Don’t want to ruff you up too bad.” Is she joking? She’s only about two steps in front of me so I’m taking the shot. With two quick steps I swung my fist at her head sure I was gunna land square on her cheek. I have no problem with punching a pony even if she’s a girl. But coming into physical conflict with a pony has become like hitting a girl. You don’t do that even if they deserve it. But that’s not stopping me now. As I soon came to realize, my fist collided with nothing and instead I received a blow to my side that made me stagger away. What happened? “Really?” Rainbow Dash mocked. “You really are gunna try this.” She had a smirk on her face. “Whatever I gave you a chance.” I turned back around to face her and it was like watching a blur. Like it was a mirage, she battered me with her front hooves, landing each punch into my stomach. Odd thing is the punches felt like stinging sensations that grew to hurt more. It was like she was holding back. Eventually it stopped and I hit the wall behind me. Instantly I fell to the ground grabbing my chest and stomach. “I guess I should have warned you. I am a black belt.” Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. I remember that now. The next part was terrible. I bent over and threw up all over the street. “Ewwww.” Rainbow Dash stuck out her tongue. “Definitely didn’t mean to do that. Sorry.” Sorry doesn’t really count when you’re emptying you stomach out. I spat a couple times and staggered to my feet. “Hey listen.” Rainbow said. “How about we call it quits?” No way in hell! Then I remembered something. That knife! I reached back and grabbed it. How could I have forgotten this? As soon as I flipped it open, Rainbow Dash’s eyes went towards it. “Seriosuly? A knife?” She opened her wings and got in a position to pounce. I wouldn’t let her. Again I barged towards her with the intention to stab her anywhere I could. In a flash she was gone and I face planted into the ground. Guess she used her wing or something to trip me. I tried to get up but suddenly her hoof came down on my wrist. The grip I had on the knife gave way and Rainbow Dash picked it up with her teeth. She wouldn’t stab me no way. And she didn’t instead throwing it away from me. “Give up yet?” She asked. I reached up with my other arm and grabbed her ear. Now I’ve got her. I was about to shove her to the ground when the little fucker head-butted me! My grip on her ear was released and we both distanced ourselves. I think I might have gotten her because she was rubbing in between her eyes. Or maybe my glasses weren’t the softest thing to slam her head on. Anyways this fight is doing horrible for me. So far she’s made me lose my lunch and disarmed me. I thought I could handle this with no problem. My strategy was simple, avoid her back legs since they have the most power but instead she pelted me with the front. What the fuck am I doing? For Pete’s sake I ripped a kid’s face off! And now suddenly I’m worthless? “Alright that’s enough. Let’s go I’m bringing you in.” Rainbow said exhausted. That can’t happen I need to drag this out. If I do then maybe I can make her give up. Rainbow Dash is impatient; if something doesn’t interest her then she’ll leave. At least I hope. “What’s the matter? No more fight left in ya? Surprising the Wonderbolts let you in.” I tried to sound as much like a douchebag as possible. It worked because she glared at me and then shot right in front of me, pinning me to the wall. “I earned the right to call myself a Wonderbolt!” She spat. “Don’t ever doubt that my skill isn’t enough.” This was my chance. I grabbed her neck to keep her in place while I went to town on her face. I got in about four hits before she wiggled herself out of my grasp. Now she was even angrier than before. Before I could do anything more; she slammed her body into me and I feel to the ground battered for the third time. This time though she went all out on the attack. “You worthless cunt! You bitch! I’m a Wonderbolt of Equestria! You’re just some useless thief!” Wow. And she called me foulmouthed. Mainly she kicked me in the gut but aimed at couple times at my head which I was blocking with my arms. All the while she threw insults my way. She sounded furious but what got me was this type of behavior was never seen before in her or any other pony. I would have expected a human to do this to me but a pony regardless of their position in society never did this. They usually acted friendly to strangers wherever they went. It’s in their society, to do different would be looked down upon by both ponies and humans. This is fantastic! Finally proof those ponies are scum! I’m the proof now! It’s happening right now! I was always right! If given the chance they’ll beat the shit out of you which goes against what bronies try to tell you that they’re pure and innocent creatures. I lowered my arms off my face and her hoof came down on my cheek. Hope it left a bruise because I can now tell everyone about how much these ponies aren’t friendly towards humans. Makes it even better that it’s Rainbow Dash; a leader of Equestria. Eventually it started to really hurt. And I mean really hurt. I couldn’t take it anymore and I cried out in pain and agony. This snapped Rainbow Dash out of her rage induced chaotic state. She began to back away slowly and her facial expression told me she couldn’t believe herself. Good. I hope she regrets this. Because I’ll make her regret every blow, somehow. Don’t actually have a plan to convince people a pony did this to me. Or that is was Rainbow Dash. Or to cover the fact it was because I stole a car. But really I feel terrible. I’m out for the count. She’s beaten me for good now and there’s no use trying to fight back. I’ll just get knocked back down again. If this was any other fight then I would be on my feet again but I’m just too tired. Kind of sad actually. I’m lying down like a wimp to a pony. I got beaten by a lesbian horse. And now I’m lying here just waiting for her to go away like I’m some kind of beaten puppy. I feel like crying. I honestly feel like crying. But I won’t. Not in front of a pony. “Get up.” Rainbow Dash ordered. I don’t want to. “I said get up darn you.” She croaked. She sounded sorry for me. Oh great I’m getting pitied by a pony. Well I’m not budging. She can hit me all she wants but I don’t have to do what she wants. Eventually she came over and grabbed me by the collar. She hoisted me up to a sitting position. “Now how about we take a look at that ugly face you’ve been hiding.” Ugly? Bitch I’m flawless. She raised my chin up since I was making it hard for her by letting my body go limp. I thought about resisting but I’m just too tired. So she ripped off my disguise. Bandana, glasses and hat. I smiled once it was all off. “Sup bitch.” “Huh.” She tilted her head a bit. “Is that guy friggin blind? You don’t look anything like the drawing.” “Yeah he kinda came off as a fag.” Hope this bitch gets out of my face. “Hey!” she gave me a light slap. “That word is very offensive and has hurt a lot of people.” “What? Fag?” I asked not believing what I just heard. “Hurt who?” Rainbow Dash floated away from me and was just above my head. I got to my feet. It hurt to move but not enough to impede movement. “It’s a very offensive word to homosexuals. I thought you humans would be more prone to watch what you say.” Why would we do that? “Hey since when are gay people the only people you can call fags?” Rainbow Dash looked sternly at me so I explained myself. “Just because someone is gay does not make them a fag.” “Oh really.” Rainbow Dash floated close to my face again. “Because I know a lot of you humans whose lives have been impacted by that word.” “So.” I scoffed. “I know a lot of people whose lives been impacted by drugs and violence.” And cults but that’s another subject. “Get on my level.” She stared at me sternly for a moment before turning away. Has she ever been on Xbox before? “You know I was starting to feel bad for you.” She said hovering over to the car. “You’re so desperate you ripped off some kid which is the reason why criminals do these things. They’re desperate.” Dumb misconception. Well correct in my case but I know some criminals have other reasons. “And I just whooped your ass.” Okay putting insult to injury, nice one Rainbow. “So anyways.” She put out her hoof. “Hand them over.” I groaned to myself and pulled out the keys. Extending my arm to the fullest I dropped the keys on the ground. Rainbow Dash sighed at the sight and flew over to retrieve them. As soon as she reached down with her neck to pick them up I raised my knee towards her face. But I hit nothing! She had dodged the attack at the last second with her speed. “Hah nice try Andy.” She smirked. “But you gotta be faster than that.” She flew back to the car and opened the driver side door. “Get your stuff and get in.” She said with a flick of her head. I stood there unresponsive. What bitch? “Come on we’re getting out of here before my escort gets here.” I looked at her some more until she responded. “Let’s just say I’m never without bodyguards now. Some agreement Twilight made a while ago. I went ahead of them so I could get to you first.” I still didn’t budge. “Fine you could stay and have five ponies beat on you.” She said turning around. More ponies? That made me move. I quickly collected my items again. The sunglasses, the bandana, the jumpsuit, my Uzi. Wait? My Uzi! Without thinking I covering it with my jumpsuit and wrapped it up. I don’t know what’s going to happen next but me with a gun in Equestria! I’ll be deported so fast that it’ll make Rainbow Dash here look like a tortoise. Last time I checked guns are banned from civilian use and only given to those with special privileges like cops or others. There’s no gun licensing and even then I’ve only seen pistols on cops. While I walked towards her I realized something. I’ve got a gun. I could just shoot her down and speed out of here in the car. Sure I’ll be on the run but I won’t be going with her to get turned into the authorities. I stopped in my tracks. What are you stupid? Those words echoed through my head. This bitch just beat the shit out of you and every attempt to hit her has been thwarted. If I use logic then it’s obvious that I’ll lose and be in even more trouble. Besides the gun’s not even loaded. It would take too long to load it and blast her. Actually any action against her will probably result in my failure. It’s just logic. “What are you waiting for? Keep it moving.” She sounded like some kind of gym coach or a drill sergeant. If a gym coach or a drill sergeant had a squeaky voice and sounded like a bitch. Cautiously I made my way to the car and got in, setting my possessions on the seat next to me. Rainbow Dash slammed the door behind me. I watched her walk around the car eyeing me. I have no fucking clue what’s she’s planning and I don’t like it. Also I’m an idiot! Fuck! Fuck me! Goddamn it! I’m handing myself in! Shit! What’s the logic here? Just let her hand me over and then go to prison? I won’t survive two seconds in prison. They’ll mop the floor with me. I began to literally shake in my seat. It became uncomfortable and I shifted uncontrollable. It was a fight if I should run or just stay and neither side is winning. Suddenly the passenger side door opened. “Hey you okay?” Rainbow Dash asked. I snapped out of it and nodded. “Well okay then. Say do you like rollercoasters?” I fucking love rollercoasters! “Yeah.” I said. She smirked. “Then just pretend this is a rollercoaster and hold on tight.” She said before slamming the door. I had about two seconds to wonder what she meant. After the two seconds I realized and I nearly passed out. In quick successions, she circled the car rapidly until she created a tornado around the car. Eventually the car began to lift up off the ground. I clicked my seat belt in so I wouldn’t start to rise too. That’s when I started to notice it became hard to breathe and I realized it. She was going to kill me. That’s gotta be it. I’m going to die of suffocation. That way there’s no blood and she just has to get rid of the body. Panic set in and I grabbed my neck and gasped for breath but found none. Never thought it would end like this actually. Thought maybe I’d get killed by a pony in dramatic irony but nothing like this. But as I thought I would be done for, another feeling set in as I was catapulted across the sky. The feeling was; it felt like I was on a rollercoaster. But I couldn’t enjoy it because I was too busy trying to fill my lungs. When I finally regained my breath and was breathing in and out heavily I pieced together what would happen next. I’m going to crash. I’m going to crash and burn and die. But it all made sense. See she says I tried to escape and then accidentally crashed my car and died. My body is totally destroyed so they can’t identify it and nobody not even my family will know who died. My family. Guess this will be a selfless act to think of one’s family before death. I remember all of them. My dad, mom, little brother, and two dogs. Yeah they’ll never know what happened to me after I ran away. As the car began to tilt forward I braced for impact. Hope this will be painless. The car began to go really fast and the feeling in my stomach really picked up. But suddenly it began to slow down. Not abruptly but gradually until it was as if I were driving. Then I began to descend and I noticed I was in a tornado again. And again it got harder to breath. But this tornado didn’t last as long and before I knew it I was on the ground. As soon as the car landed I jumped out of the car and landed on the pavement face first. I clung to that earth never letting it go. Thank god for stable land. Behind me Rainbow Dash landed. “Heh that was interesting. See what I mean by rollercoaster?” She was acting friendly but I wouldn’t be. This time she must pay with her life. She could have killed me. That crazy bitch. I got up to approach her but my legs felt weird. I collapsed after taking two steps. “Here are your things.” She tossed me my stuff and it landed on the ground in front of me. “Geez something heavy in there.” She commented. I felt like unloading a clip into her but the thought struck me as dumb since she would probably just knock the gun out of my hand like the knife. “Hey.” She was over me and tipped my head up with her hoof. “See that building?” She pointed to a building we were in front of. “That building was built to help people like you. They’ll sort out what’s in your head. And they accept walk ins.” She walked back to the car. “Do the right thing and get some help.” She gave me a condescending smile and then did that tornado thing again disappeared along with the car. After I while I realized I was in the middle of the road and I scrambled to the sidewalk with my stuff. I wasn’t disoriented anymore but I was exhausted. I looked up at the building. A granite sign read The New Equestrian- Human Conformity Offices. Human conformity? I took another glance at the building and then I understood. She wants me to go through the routine that the skeptics of the ponies had to. She wants me to be like them. Find my cutie mark. Actually that is an option I could take. After all I’m homeless, broke, and on my own with nothing but a gun that will only end me in prison. I took another look back at the building. Wait who am I kidding? Everything that happens in my head is perfectly normal for a man of twenty three trying to find his place in the world. And wait a minute. I’m white! I strolled down the street with my belongings tucked under my arm. Yeah everything is going to be fine.