She felt horrible, simply destroyed.
No matter how much coaxing her family tried to do, Applejack rarely found herself coming out.
Yet despite being out for a small while, nibbling on a meal or sipping some water or even going to the bathroom, she would just find herself moping back in her room.
No one was to be allowed in, as Applejack couldn't stand to even look at anypony.
How many mares, let alone stallions, had been looking at Discord? What if Fluttershy was just a 'friend' to get closer? Were her friends even really her friends anymore?
Not only that but what about her family? Was everything after her first encounter with the mismatched creature of chaos just an illusion and she was still bound by his treacherous spell? Playing a mind game?
Was Equestria truly back? Or was she living in a fantasy world?
Well she knew one thing, her heart wasn't being lied to anymore.
Each time one of the family member's tried to get her out, she would only lay silent. Tears drenching her face every few hours or so.
Granny Smith knew, that there was no way to get her out, she tried everything! She tried speaking to her with the whole family about what was wrong. A trick about needing to do her duties as a farmer. A yell or two. Even Applebloom tried to coax her sister out by asking to play.
Yet no reply ever came.
So drastic times, called for drastic measures. She had to ask Applebloom to get her friends. She'd have done it herself but, her old hip wasn't like it used to be and Big Mac was busy doing double the load of work out on the farm.
________________________________________________________________
A few hours passed and soon all the element bearers were outside of AJ's door, begging and pleading for her to come out. Yet Applejack would have none of it.
"I don't wanna hear it!" Least the farmer was responding now.
"But AJ, please, we can't help, if you don't tell us what's wrong." Twilight calmly spoke, her eyes in protest to the barrier between her and the orange mare. Yet unknowing to the five outside, AJ was resting her back on the door, listening in. She hated being away from her friends but just looking at them now, scared her to pieces. She just couldn't bear what their expressions would be like.
"I just can't tell you Twilight. I-" Her face buried itself into her hooves. Her voice quaking, breaking with ease into more cries.
A look of worry crossed the others as they pondered on what to say next. In where, the Fashionista soon made a speech.
"Darling, I assure you, no matter what it is, we, your friends, will always understand." Rarity's voice was soft, understanding. Applejack almost replied. Almost.
"Oh... This is all my fault."
AJ's ears perked as well as the others did, turning to the shy Pegasus known as Fluttershy before them.
"Why, darling, whatever do you mean? You didn't kno-"
"Yes I did. I was there Rarity. I saw what happened. Everything."
Applejack had now tensed, scared of what Fluttershy would say. Her hooves pushing herself up now, off the floor, to turn at the wooden door. "Fluttershy, don't!"
The pleading cry only made Fluttershy feel worse, realizing now that perhaps she had to speak. Even if it meant trespassing her friends personal space. Oh, why did this have to happen to her?
"I'm sorry Applejack but its not fair to let your friends be in the dark..."
Yet before Fluttershy could speak another word, Applejack slammed the door open, jumping to her friends hooves. "Don't! Please! I beg of you!"
Seeing her disheveled fur and mane with blood-shot eyes, the girls all stepped back in fear at what they were seeing.
It took a second before Applejack realized what she had done. Now she messed up.
She screwed up, big time.
So, covering her face, she just cried again. "Please, don't look at me."
Wincing and shaking, Fluttershy's eyes stared down at her broken friend in both fear and awe. The love she felt for Discord must have been far bigger then she imagined.
She couldn't stand seeing the sight of her this way, she needed to hold her. So she did. In an instant, Fluttershy's wings enveloped around her destroyed friend and held her close. The cries only emitting a piercing scream of agony now that she felt warmth again after so many days, maybe even weeks. She clung to her, desperate for the affection.
Scared of how to react, only Pinkie Pie was the second to join in the hug, then a small delay before the rest huddled in. They stroked her mane and all patted her back, trying to shush, the usually strong-willed and stubborn orange mare to ease.
_______________________________________________
Once things were settled down, the group of mares now all rested respectfully on Applejack's floor, speaking to her gently about this whole situation. Needless to say, it took a few hyperventilated gasps and cries from the cow-mare to get her story out in full.
"I can barely sleep, eat or even drink anything without thinking about him..." She finished, AJ's gaze glowering at the floor as if it were to blame.
"Wow AJ, this must have been a real roller coaster for you." Twilight stated.
"Yeah! And not the good kind where you get really sick from screaming really hard from excitement!" Pinkie Pie countered, making the girls blink before shaking their heads from the statement.
"Indeed, and here I thought I took heart breaks so seriously." Rarity giggled, nervously, as she knew how dramatic she could be. Her past with a certain stallion, making her blush in embarrassment.
"How can I know for sure, that I truly love him? That I'm not still... 'Discorded' or... This 'Chaos Demon' whatchamacallit." Applejack sighed, kicking the ground with her fore-hoof.
"Well, to be honest, I don't get it." Rainbow Dash had finally said something, making the girls all turn to her in confusion.
"I mean, you're supposed to be interested in him because of some 'demon' or whatever, right? And you get this by being 'Discorded'. So, why do I not care for the guy?" Her gaze looked doubtful.
This caused the farmer to think. "Well, he said that sometimes it affects ponies and sometimes it doesn't. I'm one of them, I guess."
"Well, I never liked Discord that way. I mean, I don't think I do. Discord is, well, my friend." Fluttershy whispered now, only her reply was met with doubt by AJ.
"Yeah, sure, that's why you hang out with him every day, right?" Her inquiry highly sarcastic.
Fluttershy gave a few blinks in confusion before Pinkie Pie jumped in.
"Ooo Ooo! But I don't like Discord. Well I like Discord but I don't LIKE LIKE Discord. I mean, he's sorta cool. But you gotta remember!" She dashed up now, shaking the farmer dramatically, eyes piercing hers. "HE FORGOT THE WHIP CREAM!" She dropped AJ suddenly as she spoke. "And that is a sin, I cannot forgive." She held up her hoof as if in a promise. A Pinkie Promise, most likely.
Shaking her head, AJ saw that Twilight had decided to put her two cents in again. She didn't bother sitting up, she was too tired to.
"But what if Discord is lying? He is the Spirit of Chaos AND Disharmony, you know."
Hearing these words, Applejack felt her face fall again and soon she covered it, feeling tears well up once more. "That's why I'm so scared... I don't know what I'm feeling anymore."
The girls all frowned now, watching her.
"What if I'm not real? Maybe I'm just a joke."
"Now that's not the AJ I know."
Applejack lowered her hooves, watching Rainbow Dash flutter above her, the expression on her features, fierce and determined before she landed on her stomach. "Where's the Applejack I know of? The one who never gives up? The one who kicks everybody's flank and takes names? The AJ who, no matter what, always knows just what to do?"
Rainbow Dash stepped back and held her fore-hoof out. In which AJ, still keeping solemn, grabbed and pulled herself up on the ground.
"Trust me AJ, you're never a joke. If anyone's a walking joke, its Discord."
Fluttershy made a face at Rainbow Dash, not particularly caring of her words, yet Applejack smiled a bit. She knew RD was just trying to help her feel better and well, her speech did help, at least a little.
"Thanks Rainbow." She simply nodded her head to her before lending out her hoof as she did, where Rainbow Dash soon slammed her own hoof right into it, a calm but playful glare between the two as they knew what the symbolism behind the slam was.
Twilight, smiling to see the two back on normal terms, just rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I know that look." She giggled.
"I must intervene here, I do apologize AJ dear." Rarity butted in, stepping between the two. Rainbow Dash shrugged and gave the two room, letting the white mare speak what was needed.
"AJ, I must say, I've seen many lovers in my day. Yet not one as strong as this. I never thought I'd say this, but, I doubt your feelings for Discord are false."
Rarity couldn't believe what she was saying and neither could Applejack.
"How- How can you be so sure Rare'?" She replied with a hint of worry.
"Remember, when I had said that I know how dramatic I can be?"
Before AJ could answer, the entire group said "Yes" in unison. Making Rarity jump and give a small cold glare to them. Applejack giggled.
Seeing as how it made the apple farmer smile, Rarity decided to leave it at that and go on. "Ahem, anyways, trust me. I am a lady, I know how deep an affair can go and the constant tears and heart break you feel, can only be equaled to that of Discord."
Did... Did she hear her right? How in the hay was Discord suffering? And if he was? Good!
"What?" Applejack allowed herself to question.
"Yes, he has been a bit down, hasn't he girls?"
A silence befell the six mares before Rainbow Dash spoke once more.
"Yeah, come to think of it. He was sorta drooping today. He was still laughing and being, well, Discord but he was also being kind of... Um..."
"Clammed up?" Twilight spoke again.
"Yeah! Yeah, that's it." Rainbow Dash then blinked and gazed back down at Twilight. "You noticed too?"
"We all noticed." Rarity spoke up, looking to Fluttershy for some clarity.
"Yes, Discord has been different. I tried to ask him what's wrong, but he won't tell me. I think I know why now."
AJ was silent once more, Discord... Was upset? Was he feeling bad because of what he did to her? Did he actually feel... Guilty? Was that even possible for Discord?
"You see? A lady always sees these things. You're in love with Discord and he, as well, also returns the feelings."
The orange mare's emerald eyes pierced Rarity's blue ones. "I don't care."
Everyone else flinched at that response, yet Rarity could only narrow her eyes. "Tell that to your heart."
Tell that, to her... Heart? What was there to tell it? She wanted nothing to do with him!
I got to find him.
No! Refuse it! Leave him alone, its better this way!
I was so worked up about my own feelings, I never even considered his!
No! He's the God of Chaos and Disharmony. It's all a trick, a lie. You're his toy, his game.
"..." AJ was quiet.
The silence was eerie, making it almost sound as if it was destroying the peace of its solitude meaning. Then, suddenly. "Hey I know!"
All eyes turned to Pinkie.
"Let's do a 'Coming Out' party!"
Everyone was silent at that, questioning what exactly a 'Coming Out' party even was. Yet as some found out, they all had different definitions for 'Coming Out'. Despite the blushes on their faces, Pinkie Pie's stayed clean.
"Um, Pinkie Pie, I don't think you know what that actually means-" Fluttershy spoke softly.
"Of course I know! Its a celebration to Applejack coming out of her room!"
At this, suddenly they all sighed and laughed nervously in response, making Pinkie Pie raise a brow curiously. "What did you think I said?"
"Nevermind Pinkie. That sounds like a great idea." Twilight nodded.
"Uh, do I have to?" Applejack grinned sheepishly.
"...So does this mean you're not coming out?" Pinkie Pie's hair began to lose its poofy feeling. In which AJ couldn't bare seeing her friend so upset, so she sighed and gave in. "Well, I have been needing a sho-" Suddenly she was being squeezed to death by the party pony's hooves in a hug.
"Oh my Gosh! I'm so excited! I've never done a 'Coming Out' party before! This is going to be so fun!" Pinkie Pie giggled.
Yet down in AJ's stomach, she felt a turn of nausea coming on, despite the encouraging smiles of her friends. "Yeah, hehe, fun..." She replied, scared for her future.