//------------------------------// // The Language of Diplomacy // Story: My Little Teelo: Masquerade // by Ardwolf //------------------------------// In which our heroine changes the rules and takes up the time-honored art of intrigue. Mist Chaser’s hooves touched down on the messenger tower and he heaved a sigh of relief. Gratefully folding his aching wings he lowered his head and panted from the aftereffects of his headlong flight from Hejm. Diplomats, he thought sourly, forcing himself into a trot toward the dispatch office. Urgent message for Princess Celestia my fluffy tail, he snorted as he passed another courier, who grinned at him. Mist Chaser ignored the greeting, responding only with a flicked wing that was both a dismissal and warning he was on urgent business. Eyes only, he griped as he stopped in front of the Coordinator and fished out the authorization to bypass normal bureaucratic channels and personally deliver the contents of his diplomatic satchel. The mare raised her eyebrows at the authorization level, but silently stamped the authorization with her approval. In the Civil Service it was often unwise to impede Ambassadorial communications that were given the highest urgency level. Even though it was common knowledge such authorizations seldom merited the importance they were given. “Lady Faerie Mist can be found in her office,” The Coordinator informed Mist Chaser. “She will know where Princess Celestia is.” Mist Chaser nodded and trotted out of the Courier Branch toward the Administration Section. He’d had dealings with Celestia’s short-tempered aide before, and didn’t look forward to doing so again. The mare was extremely protective of the Princess’s time, feeling there was no matter so urgent it deserved to intrude on the sovereign’s admittedly hectic schedule. Faerie Mist chaser, he chuckled to himself grimly. That’s me. Why did I join the long-distance couriers again? Oh yeah, for the uniform. Mares always go for the stallion in uniform. Hah! As if. I haven’t had time for a date in the last three months! Stupid political shenanigans with the trolls have been keeping me in the air waaay too much. Trolls, of all things, the least diplomatic species ever to exist. Just because Lady Teagan is queen of the trolls Truth Speaker is going through all this fuss and bother for a simple homecoming. He must be trying to curry the Princess so she’ll move him to a more important embassy. And guess who has to carry the burden of ambassadorial ambition on his poor overworked wings? Me, that’s who! He trotted on until he came to the Royal Services Department, which included the Princess’s ladies-in-waiting. Nodding professionally to the secretary he presented his security authorization and requested to see Faerie Mist immediately. Much to his surprise the receptionist nodded and led him directly to the mare’s office, making him wonder if his mission wasn’t more important than he’d been willing to believe. The mare knocked on the door and stuck her head inside. “Lady Mist, a courier from Hejm,” She said softly. “Send him in,” Faerie Mist’s voice was brisk. The mare nodded politely to Mist Chaser and opened the door for him before returning to her desk. Taking a deep breath the stallion entered the room and stood before the delicate lavender pegasus. He presented his authorization and waited as she read it carefully. She’s really beautiful, he thought to himself. But also a living legend about how beauty is only skin deep. This mare’s bones are made of fire and she’s got a temper to match. Please Celestia please let her be in a good mood! “The Princess is in the gardens having lunch with Lady Teagan,” Faerie Mist said, looking up and hoofing the authorization back to him. “If you’ll follow me I’ll take you to her.” Mist Chaser nodded, but internally he was still apprehensive. While the mare’s instant assistance was welcome (he still winced when he remembered their last encounter) it was more than a little unsettling. It made him wonder if he wasn’t caught up in some high level state secrets or something, a thought that chilled him in a way the thin air he spent so much time in never did. Faerie Mist trotted quickly, even though her body language was calm, and that made Mist Chaser even more uneasy. He could tell she was in a hurry, even though her highborn genteel façade projected nothing but bland routine. Had it really been routine she would have been walking, not trotting. The courier was grateful she had decided not to fly. His wings still ached and he was dreading the return flight. The urgency of the authorization had demanded his best pace, and while a normal flight between Hejm and Canterlot was only three hours by chariot, free-flying had cut that in half—at a cost. His wings cried out for rest, and he was seriously considering a massage before the return flight, assuming the Princess didn’t send him out immediately. He quailed at that thought, his wings flexing unconsciously. Faerie Mist led him into the gardens and straight to a sheltered nook where they found Princess Celestia and her guests apparently napping. But then he noticed Princess Celestia’s horn was glowing with a golden light that surrounded all the sleepers. Looking more closely he noticed Princess Sparkle seemed to be living up to her name, her horn twinkling with small purple specks of light even though she appeared deeply asleep. He glanced at Faerie Mist for an explanation. “I don’t know what they’re doing,” Faerie Mist replied to his wordless question, “but we don’t dare interrupt them. Let’s just wait until they finish. She gracefully settled onto her haunches, freeing the courier to do the same. He settled with a sigh of relief, carefully spreading his wings to stretch the muscles and keep them from stiffening up. “You look tired,” the mare noted. “Yes, Lady Mist,” the courier replied carefully, feeling like he was treading on eggshells. “I flew straight here at my best speed.” The mare looked thoughtful. “Did Truth Speaker say anything before sending you out?” “No,” the courier shook his head, “just that the message was urgent. He did bring the satchel to me himself, but that’s not terribly unusual. Our Trollish Embassy is pretty small.” “I see.” The mare sat with her eyes unfocused as she tended to her own thoughts. Grateful the exchange had ended peacefully Mist Chaser relaxed as the pair of pegasi kept silent vigil on the spell-casting alicorns. ooOoo “What do you have in mind?” Celestia asked mildly. Emma was looking warily at Teagan. Søyle was impassive. “Teelo seems to have an idea, give us a moment,” Twilight said. The humans on the Earth side of the conversation glanced at each other. Olivia’s face showed guarded hope, while her husband looked suspicious. John and Elaine, knowing their daughter, braced for the worst. “The reason we can’t go back to the Everfree, the reason the Council won’t let the Princess into the Everfree is because it’s too dangerous, right?” Teagan began. Celestia nodded. “The Council is understandably wary of allowing me to be put in peril since the whole Tišina incident,” Celestia said, a twinkle in her eye. “Even the flight into the Everfree, much less remaining in the vicinity of the Bridge for any length of time is unacceptably dangerous. Or so the Council would say.” Teagan chuckled. “It would be dangerous—if anyone knew you were there. Or rather, if any creature saw you go there.” Teagan’s smile never wavered. “So obviously you couldn’t take a chariot and walking is out of the question. Which leaves flying but the Royal Guard would have a collective heart attack if you flew into the Everfree unescorted, yes?” “This is true,” Celestia said in an intrigued tone of voice. “So logically it follows it’s impossible for me to go there.” “Pity it’s too far for a unicorn to teleport, isn’t it?” Teagan mused. “So clearly, it would be impossible for you to take us back to the Bridge, open it, and get back here unobserved. After all, one alicorn would have to teleport two passengers all the way to the Bridge, and that’s not possible, even for you.” Teagan was grinning so widely Emma could see her tongue. “But just for the sake of argument, let’s pretend you could. How long do you think it would take you to go there, open the Bridge, and come back?” “Hmm,” Celestia’s eyes were twinkling and she was smiling. “Oh, much too long, I’m afraid. Why, the journey to the Bridge would be at least thirty seconds! And then another thirty seconds to recover and prepare the spell to open the Bridge, and then what, maybe fifteen seconds for two sprinting humans to cross the Bridge, and oh, yes, another thirty seconds to ready myself to teleport back, and then at least a second or two for the actual teleport. Plus the time to compose myself and raise my cup of tea as if nothing had occurred. Much too long! No one could possibly fail to notice my absence for two whole minutes. That’s assuming the Council approved—which they wouldn’t, of course.” Celestia pondered. “What do you think, Twilight?” The alicorn asked whimsically. “Isn’t Teagan’s plan completely impossible? After all, two upright paragons of virtue, such as ourselves, would never engage in anything against the will of the Council. It’s not like the two of us could ever play such a delicious prank on those august members of the nobility.” “I’m in.” Twilight said in such a serious voice that Emma collapsed in a torrent of giggles. “Lord O’Gara, I think we might have a plan to get the girls back to Earth!” “Really? What changed?” John asked, surprised. “The rules changed,” Twilight replied with a hint of a giggle in her voice. “Of course, officially this never happened,” Teagan said, looking at Søyle. “We need a couple of days on Earth to straighten out this mess, and then it’s off to Hejm, right? You have my word, Søyle. I can’t take any trolls with me. Celestia couldn’t teleport that much weight. But I promise, from the time we start toward Hejm, until I return home at the end of summer, I’ll keep Skrent and Flint as my constant companions. Deal?” “You will return in two days?” Søyle demanded. “Yes.” Teagan said firmly. “If I have to bash the damn Bridge open with Crush, I’ll be here.” “Very well, what shall I tell the others?” Søyle asked. “That Lady Teelo had to return home to attend to human legal matters for her family which would not wait, and that she will return in two days.” Celestia said serenely. “It is nothing less than the truth, after all.” “We can delay our departure for two more days,” Søyle nodded. “Princess, I know you have winged couriers, could you send a message to Fjell informing him of our delay?” “I would be happy to, Kona Søyle,” Celestia said, dipping her horn. “Thank you for your understanding.” “So, are we ready to do this?” Teagan asked the alicorn. “Do what, cousin?” Celestia winked at the girl. Teagan grinned. ooOoo The glow faded from Celestia’s horn and the sleepers began to stir. Faerie Mist rose to her hooves and Mist Chaser followed suit. “Hello, Faerie Mist,” a surprised Celestia greeted her lady-in-waiting. “What brings you here in the company of this handsome courier?” Her smile was warm. “Your Highness, Truth Speaker has sent another communiqué, eyes only.” Faerie Mist replied, indicating the courier, who stepped forward. He turned his head and pulled the satchel from his back. Her face showing polite interest Celestia lit her horn and took the satchel from the courier. Magically breaking the seal she pulled out the single page and read it. “Thank you, you may both go. Gentlecolt, I imagine your long flight has left you fatigued, why don’t you take a day or so to recover? Then see Faerie Mist for my reply to Truth Speaker.” Celestia said with a smile. Bowing, the two ponies withdrew. Celestia watched them go and then turned to Teagan and Søyle. “The Troll Council has resolved their debate concerning a draugr incursion that happened yesterday,” Celestia said quietly, no longer smiling. “Fjell says the Council wishes the Dronning to journey to Hejm with all possible speed. They believe the presence of Mountain Heart will bolster their defenses. Fjell believes something called the Deepest Dark is beginning to awaken, and may soon attack the city. Truth Speaker says the Deepest Dark refers to the undead, creatures from beyond the grave.” “Crap,” Teagan said in the shocked silence that followed. “That puts me in a real bind. But at least it makes one thing painfully clear. Emma, you’re going home. I am not risking having you trapped deep underground and getting caught up in a battle with undead.” Emma wanted to protest, she really did. But that bug-unicorn’s attack was still painfully fresh in her mind. The thought of real troll zombies or vampire ponies made her belly clench in fear. “I concur,” Princess Celestia nodded, seeing Emma’s reaction. “While Emma has shown herself to have many sterling qualities, she is by no means a warrior. If the dead do rise and attack Hejm there would be little she could do to help. Emma didn’t say anything, too busy being ashamed of her cowardice. “She is clan, Princess of Ponies,” Søyle said quietly. “It is true she cannot fight. Emma is small and has no claws, and this cannot be argued. But ponies are small and have no claws either, and yet ponies dwell in Hejm. I have seen Emma in the midst of battle, and saw her fear. But afterward she helped save your unicorn’s life in spite of it. She did not aid the Dronning during the hunt for the kjører liket, but she did bear word to us and in so doing prevented a misunderstanding.” Søyle stared at Celestia, who nodded in acknowledgment of the words the troll had not said. “Trolls value skill in battle. But we are not blind to the aid those who cannot fight may give, if only by freeing a troll to fight. There are many tales of children or the greatly aged doing such deeds. ” “Søyle, do you honestly expect me to risk Emma like that?” Teagan asked carefully, aware this was one area where human and troll mores diverged drastically. “She is clan, Dronning,” Søyle said quietly. “And she has not yet spoken. It is her choice as much as yours. I have called her child it is true, but I am reminded now that she is your own age. She must have her voice in this.” “Emma, this is for real,” Teagan said. “People will die, no matter how good Hejm’s defenses are. You could die. What would your parents do if that happened? How could they explain you vanishing to the police? Think of how David would feel if you died.” Emma sat, thinking hard. She looked at Søyle, who offered no reaction, merely waiting to hear what she would say. Teagan’s face was anguished, while Celestia merely watched with a neutral expression, much like Søyle’s. “I think she should go home,” Twilight blurted. “If something attacks her she won’t be able to fight or run, and she can’t be guarded all the time. I’m not saying she’s a coward, but neither are the CMC. I wouldn’t ask them to do something like this! We almost lost Sweetie Belle!” “The CMC are nine years old,” Celestia noted. “Emma is Lady Teelo’s age. Applejack wasn’t much older when she started running her family’s farm.” “It’s not the same,” Twilight argued. “Nopony was trying to kill Applejack!” “True. But Sweetie Belle is safe now,” Celestia noted, “thanks to the help of her friends and community, not to mention Lady Teelo, and Cerise.” “What are you saying?” Twilight’s brow wrinkled. “You want Emma to go to Hejm?” “It isn’t my decision to make,” Celestia noted calmly. “But I will say this. Emma chose to come to Equestria, to help her friend. In doing so she faced danger, but she also gained new friends and leaned valuable lessons. No road is completely without danger, Twilight, just as no road is completely without reward. As much as Lady Teelo wishes to keep her friend safe, there comes a time when Emma must decide for herself. I think that time has come.” “I also remember a certain young lady,” Celestia continued, looking pointedly at Teagan, “who, when faced with one of the most terrible monsters Equestria has ever produced wasn’t able to fight or run either. Yet she still managed to save my life, using nothing but her wits.” “Matching wits with you is a game nobody can win,” Teagan said sourly. “You’ve lived so much longer than the rest of us your experience is freaking vast. So why don’t you tell me? Yes, or no, cousin? Should she go or should she stay?” Celestia shook her head. “I don’t know, cousin. Emma must decide for herself. She’s the one most directly affected, and she’s old enough to make her own choice.” “So, just to make sure I understand the score,” Emma spoke up, gaining the others attention. “Celestia says it’s my decision, and refuses to offer any advice. Twilight and Teagan both say go home because it’s too dangerous. Søyle says it’s my decision but seems to think I wouldn’t be completely useless in Hejm, so she says stay. Everybody agree with that?” She stared determinedly around the table. No one said anything. “Teagan, I’m not an idiot. The thought that undead monsters are real here scares the crap out of me. But you still need my help and frankly Hejm’s an entire city of trolls. It’s bound to have all kinds of defenses, just like this castle. The trolls have wizards like Alene Hule, too. So I’m not exactly walking naked into a snake pit now am I?” “You really think your parents are going to let you come back?” Teagan asked incredulously. “They might if you don’t mention the ambush, or the whole undead thing,” Emma shot back. “You want me to lie? Queen of the trolls, remember?” Teagan retorted. “You don’t have to lie, just don’t volunteer information,” Emma said. “Look, I know it’s dangerous, okay? I almost had my face chewed off! That’s a pretty big hint this place isn’t all tea parties and fashion shows!” I must find a way to watch this “cartoon” of Equestria, Celestia thought in amusement. All the humans seem to think all we do is drink tea and play dress up. I can’t imagine why. “It’s too dangerous, Emma. I don’t want to lose you,” Teagan said, clenching her fists. “I’m not an idiot, Teelo,” the other girl said, rolling her eyes. “If a monster comes after me I’m going to run, preferably toward a bunch of big nasty trolls who can tear it apart for me. But you said it yourself. You were wrong. You can use my help.” “That was before I found out Hejm was under siege,” Teagan retorted sharply. “And did you forget we have to go back to Earth? It would make it so much easier if you just stayed behind when I came back.” “My choice,” Emma said firmly, pointing at Celestia. “She said so. She’s over a thousand years old, Teelo! She’s bound to know what she’s talking about! Søyle thinks I could be useful if I stayed. Even you think that. I may not be able to kill monsters, but I won’t have to, will I? There’s lots of trolls who would be glad to do that for me! Meanwhile I’ll still be able to help. Now promise me you won’t screw up my chances of convincing my parents to come back!” Teagan stared at her friend, frustrated, but half convinced Emma was right. She could use her help, but at the same time… “You’re asking me to let you risk getting yourself killed. You know that, right?” Teagan asked quietly. “I’m not an idiot,” Emma repeated. “Let me help you. I don’t plan on getting killed.” “Nobody plans on it,” Teagan said heavily. “Søyle, you really think she should stay?” “She is clan, Dronning.” Søyle said quietly. “Clan belongs with clan.” “What happens if we’re stuck in Hejm past fall?” Teagan asked suddenly. “If Hejm’s under siege there’s no guarantee we’d be able to get out. It’s an underground city, Emma! It’s not like we could fly away. We’d be there for the duration.” “Actually, Lady Teelo, I could teleport into the city if necessary,” Celestia said quietly. “Undead cannot withstand the Sun. I could get you out.” “Leaving Hejm without Crush? The Troll Council would just love that!” Teagan snorted. “And if we didn’t come home I wouldn’t be the only one inviting the wrath of the DCF to fall on our parents’ heads now would I?” “Besides, how would you get your own Council to agree to that? Our little prank is one thing, but landing in a war zone? To fight? They’d chain you to the throne, Princess or not, and you know it.” Celestia shook her head. “Cousin, I am the Solar Princess,” she said quietly. “If push comes to shove I can override the Council. I don’t like doing it, because it causes no end of trouble, but I can if I have to.” “Fine,” Teagan said, throwing up her hands. “Emma, are you sure?” “I want to stay. Promise me you won’t do anything to screw up my chances.” Emma said quietly. “I promise. I just hope you know what you’re getting into,” Teagan grumbled. “We need to get back to Earth ASAP. Princess, are you ready to pull off the most secretive prank in the history of practical jokes?” “I am,” The alicorn said with a chuckle. “Twilight, why don’t you offer Emma a ride? We need to move quickly. May I give you a lift, cousin?” The alicorn’s horn lit up and gently picked Teagan up and placed her on her back. “Twilight, this is where we’re going, can you see?” The lavender unicorn’s eyes began to glow even as Emma awkwardly climbed on her back. Twilight was a lot shorter than Celestia, so Emma could get on without telekenetic assistance. “I do see, Princess.” Twilight said, eyes clearing, an odd smile on her muzzle. “And that’s a wonderful idea.” “Søyle, I will return in about two minutes,” Celestia said to the troll. “If ten minutes pass, go directly to Faerie Mist and tell her what happened. Make sure you say Celestia told me to tell you gooseberry jam. Remember, gooseberry jam. She will know what to do. But it won’t come to that, I’m sure. See you in a couple of minutes.” “Ja, Deres Høyhet,” Søyle said. “Dronning, return swiftly. The World Below needs you.” “Two days,” Teagan swore. There was a double-flash and the Ivy Bower was empty except for the impassive troll. ooOoo The world exploded into colors that left odd tastes in Teagan’s mouth, and sounds that smelled like nothing she could describe. It seemed to go on a long time before the world slammed back into her senses with a force that nearly knocked her from her perch on Celestia’s back. Her scrambled senses took a moment to recover. She blinked to clear her vision. They were now in the ruined clearing, inside the ring of burned-out stubs that were all that remained of the torches. She slipped off Celestia, holding herself steady by keeping one arm over the Princess’s back while she forced the world to stay still. “Objective one completed,” she murmured to herself, her other hand ready to draw Crush. Twilight had materialized near Celestia and was taking in the clearing with wide shocked eyes. Emma swayed on her back, looking sick. “Oh my God! Is that what a drug trip feels like?” She moaned as she clumsily dismounted from the purple alicorn. “I think I’m gonna hurl.” “No time! Princess, open the Bridge!” Teagan snapped, grabbing Emma to steady her. “Time to run, Emma.” “Run? I can’t even stand up straight,” Emma complained, holding her stomach with one hand, the other on her forehead. There was a pause that stretched interminably to Teagan’s adrenaline-jazzed senses before golden light from behind them brightened the overcast clearing and the Bridge sprang open. She urged Emma into a lumbering run straight toward the rainbow-edged hole in reality. Ten seconds later they collapsed on Teelo’s living room carpet, only to hear a loud yelp as something soared over them to land on the couch with a thud. The Bridge snapped shut behind them, leaving Teagan gaping at the room’s third occupant. “Hi!” Twilight smiled happily at the dumbfounded girls as she clambered to her hooves.