Chapter eight
I ran as fast as I could, landmarks zipping by me. I could have just teleported to somewhere near Celestia, but since the last meeting I’ve been banned from using magic near Canterlot. For all of the good that does. I didn't quite tell Hot Head the whole truth. Celestia wasn’t just mad at me, she was furious with the wolves because of what I did. Getting on speaking terms with her was going to be a problem. From listening in on Twilight’s conversations and reading her letters over her shoulder, Celestia was made out to be a patient, forgiving motherly figure. That was the complete opposite of what I knew her as. She’s a stubborn prejudiced bitch.
I needed to think of a way to get in the castle to see her. If she wouldn’t talk, maybe she would listen. I thought about it for a while, but I was saved by ramming head first into an invisible barrier. I yelped in surprise and stumbled back. I looked up and saw Canterlot Castle looming before me. One white tower in particular stood before me, covered in dark blue banners and crescent moon shapes.
This barrier wasn’t here before.
I looked to my right and noticed pony guards moving past the barrier like they didn’t even know it was there. I reached out and poked it with a paw. A translucent blue ring radiated outwards along the surface. I watched the top of it travel farther up, fading as it went. A dark head popped out of an open window near the top of the tower, midnight mane billowing out.
Luna. I felt a presence tap at my mind, and I let it in.
“WHAT DOST THOU THINKEST THOU ART DOING?”
“I think I just crashed into your barrier.”
“WHY DIDST THOU COME HERE?”
“I need to talk to Celestia.”
“OUR SISTER IST MOST DISPLEASED WITH YOU.”
“I know. Can you just let me in?”
“I THINK NOT.”
Even when she isn’t speaking, she’s still hard to listen to. “Look, it has to do with her faithful student, alright?”
There was a pause as Luna spoke with her sister telepathically. “...SHE’S BUSY. DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE A MESSAGE?”
“Argh! I don’t have time for this!” I backed up a few paces and threw my weight against the barrier.
“HALT! CEASE AT ONCE!” she paused for a moment as she thought. “MAYBE WE CAN HELP YOU INSTEAD!”
“Look, all I want is to apologize to Celestia and ask her something.”
“YOUR APOLOGY SHALL GO UNACCEPTED, BUT I MAY BE ABLE TO ANSWER THINE CONUNDRUM.”
“Well, to put it bluntly, shit’s been going down in Ponyville and the Elements of Harmony are starting to ask questions that are getting hard to dodge. I wanted to ask her if my ward is allowed to tell them what he knows.”
Luna leaned out on the balcony. I could see her smile from here. “WELL IF SHITE IS FALLING FROM THE SKY, A GOOD HARVEST WILL BE HAD LATER!”
I slowly raised a paw to my face. “Luna...no. That’s not what it means.”
She waved her hoof dismissively. “THOU DOTH NOT NEEDETH OUR PERMISSION TO SPEAKETH FREELY, SILLY MUTT.”
“What did you just call me?” I bared my teeth at her.
“RUN ALONG AND PLAY, MUTT, AND GO SUPERVISE YOUR PUP.” Luna’s head disappeared through the window.
I slammed the barrier again to relieve some of my frustration, then sighed. With one last look at the dark window, I made my way back towards Ponyville.
-----
“Today?”
“Yeah, why not? It’s a perfect day for it!” Rainbow pointed out. And she was right; it was a sunny day with a few clouds and there wasn’t too much wind.
“Alright then! Let’s go for it!”
Rainbow took to the sky and hovered above me. She and Twilight had come back to the library with the rest of the girls and they were all pleasantly surprised at the picnic that Spike and I made. To be fair, Spike did most of it. I can’t cook to save my life. I had managed to keep the topic of conversation away from me on the way here, and once we pulled out the food, the chat was about that for a while. Rainbow had come up with a suggestion after we finished and now all eyes were on me.
I stood with my wings awkwardly spread, unsure of what to do. I looked up at Rainbow and gave her a sheepish smile.
“Well, come on! I can’t teach you how to fly from the ground!”
“Uhh…” I didn’t even know where to start. I looked at Twilight for a solution, hoping -praying- that she could tell me what I was supposed to be doing. She shot me a reassuring smile from where she sat on the checkered picnic blanket. Applejack smiled and tilted her hat back like she was going to enjoy a show. Rarity made a shooing motion with her hoof as if to say “Go on, dear.” Pinkie was humming idly to herself. Fluttershy was… well, Fluttershy.
I folded my wings and looked up at Rainbow again, about to try and chicken out of it. Before I could say anything, she shouted, “Oh, come on! Let’s go already!” She swooped down and picked me up, carrying me into the air. Higher and Higher we went, until we broke through a cloud, and set me down on it. Both crashing through and standing on a cloud have very peculiar feelings. I tested my footing. The cloud was only sturdy enough that I could easily break through it if I wanted to. Rainbow broke into my musings.
“To fly you must learn how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. The first part is easy. All it takes is the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight and the willingness not to mind that it’s going to hurt. That is, it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. If you are really trying properly, the likelihood is that you will fail to miss the ground fairly hard.”
“What in blazes are you talking about?”
Rainbow cracked a smile. “Aw, I’m just messing with you. I’m going to try the way my parents taught me how to fly.”
“What was that?”
“This!”
She put both of her front hooves on my chest and shoved me backwards, straight off the cloud. I lost sight of the chromatic mare as I fell, and I tried to right myself. When I did, I caught sight of the ground far below. My wings locked up as I feared for my life. Oh no, not again… Why does this keep happening to me?! It was a silent plummet, aside from the wind rushing by my ears. After a couple seconds of falling, I started to realize something. Why is this so scary? It’s almost calming. Just floating in the air… I looked down again. Oh yeah, that’s why. Not quite floating.
“...wings!”
What?
“Pull up! Use your wings!”
I rolled and saw Rainbow speeding down towards me. I suddenly found a reason to steel my resolve. I rolled over again and put streamlined myself like I saw Rainbow do several times. I snapped my wings open and felt myself slow down. I looked down to see the terrain start to become horizontal rather than vertical. I’m doing it! I’m flying! I thought as I leveled out. Well, gliding. Close enough. I looked back at my wings, which were locked horizontally. I faintly heard someone yell “Twitchatwitch!” through the rushing wind. I looked forward again and my field of vision was suddenly butter yellow. “Ohshi-!”
I collided with the creature and we were both sent tumbling down the hill the girls were still sitting on. My head cracked against a rock and most other sensations were minimized by blinding pain. I tried to keep myself underneath the flashes of yellow and pink as we bounced so I would take the brunt of the punishment. Before long we stopped at the bottom of the short hill.
I was on my back, looking at the duplicate worlds spinning in the sky, with Fluttershy sprawled out on top of me. As the worlds started to merge, I heard a quiet “Oh...my.”
I blinked the blurriness away as laughter burst out. Rainbow landed with a thud on her back next to us in a fit of laughter. I groaned as I layed there.
“So… I’m not much of a tennis guy, but did I goal that slam dunk point?” I’m pretty sure my eyes were still spinning. I shook my head to clear it. When I regained focus, I saw Fluttershy’s face in a shade of red I had only seen in Rainbow’s mane in contrast behind her pink one only a foot away from mine. “Oh, hey Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy ‘eeped’ and tried to hide behind her mane more. I realized what position we were in and immediately put up a mask of neutrality and hid the awkwardness inside. Rainbow wasn’t helping earlier. Despite all of my efforts, I could feel my face starting to get warm.
“Fluttershy! Are you ok?”
I turned my head and saw Twilight standing at the top of the hill, one forehoof raised to cup her mouth. Applejack stood next to her, and Pinkie Pie had already started to roll down the hill. Sure, don’t even ask about the new guy.
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. To my surprise, she tried to hide her face in my chest. As with the situation in Twilight’s house with Rainbow, I didn’t want to shove Fluttershy off. For some reason, that seemed like a worse idea than shoving Rainbow off. After a moment, everybody had descended the hill.
“Are we, uh... interruptin’ somethin’?” Applejack asked with a smirk. This only renewed Rainbow’s laughing fit. If it weren’t for the position I was in, I would have facepalmed. I had to settle for rolling my eyes. Applejack chuckled.
“Are you guys ok?” Twilight asked again.
Oh sure, now that you’ve thought about it, you include my well-being in that question. “I’m fine,” I replied, looking down at my deadweight, “but I’m not so sure about Fluttershy…She doesn’t seem to be hurt, though.”
“Oh, she’s just being Fluttershy,” Twilight nudged her with an outstretched hoof. “Come on, Fluttershy. We’re not going to judge you for Hot Head crashing into you.”
Rainbow paused in her laughing fit only long enough to shout a jab. “Yeah, we can judge Hot Head instead!” It only gave her laughing a renewed vigor.
Maybe it was just my position with Fluttershy, but she was shaking at this point and I couldn’t tell if any of the others noticed. I sat up enough to prop myself up on my elbows, hoping that would encourage her to get up herself. She finally seemed to get a clue and slid to the ground next to me. After she finally got off, I pushed myself to my feet and shook myself. Applejack gave me an odd look and I raised an eyebrow back. She lowered her gaze, shaking her head, and I could hear a chuckle under her breath.
I looked back at Rainbow, who seemed to finally be recovering, although she was still laughing on her back. I quickly scanned the others. Twilight and Rarity were trying to help Fluttershy, who refused to look up from the grass. Applejack looked to the sky, as if in thought.
“That looked like fun! Was that fun? We should totally try that sometime!”
“Gah!” I jumped, startled by a high voice right next to my ear. Pinkie stood there innocently with a smile on her face. In one hoof she held a bucket filled with water. “Pinkie, why do you have a bucket full of water?”
“For water-related emergencies, silly!” she set the bucket down in a hole in the ground that I hadn’t noticed before. She bounced back over to the girls huddled around Fluttershy.
What the- you know what? Not even gonna bother…
Suddenly, I got an idea. I managed to catch Applejack’s eye and jerked my head at the bucket, then at Rainbow. Applejack’s eyes twinkled as she nodded. She made her way next to Rainbow, and I picked up the bucket by its handle in my mouth. I stood next to Applejack above Rainbow’s unsuspecting head. I stuck out my jaw, dangling the watery inciter from it. Applejack brought the bottom of the bucket back, emptying its contents onto the clueless colorful creature below. Rainbow’s laughing ceased with the splash, and she brushed her wet bangs out of her face, surprise plastered all over it. She looked up at our smiling faces. I have to admit, she looks attractive with a wet mane. She narrowed her eyes at us, and I felt my grin grow.
“Of course you know this… means war,” Dash rolled to her stomach and launched herself into the sky. Applejack and I watched her go.
After a moment, Applejack’s eyes widened. “Oh nelly.” She dashed off.
I looked after her in confusion, then directed my gaze back towards the sky. A dark cloud with a multicolored tail drifted towards me. My ears drooped. “Oh damn.” I decided to be a man and take my punishment instead of fleeing the scene. I watched as Rainbow positioned the cloud directly above me. She flapped back from the cloud a couple of times, then turned and bucked the cloud. A flash of light blinded me as searing pain raced from my head throughout my body. My heart jumped. I don’t know how much time had passed; pain has a way of making seconds seem like hours. I blinked and found that the world had turned sideways. I lay where I had collapsed on my side. Rainbow Dash moved the cloud out of the way and bright sunlight got in my eyes, but I couldn’t move my leg to cover them. Come to think of it, I couldn’t move anything else either. Rainbow was at my side, apologising profusely. A shadow mercifully moved over my head as Twilight stood in front of me. I could hear her barking orders, but my mind was too numb to make any of it out. Twilight lowered herself to look me in the eye and I could only give her a blank stare in return. She frowned and stood back up again.
Dammit, why am I the one who’s always dying? Or, uh, almost dying. I corrected myself. You know what? No! I’m tired of this. I’m going to get up. Now.
I could feel feeling starting to come back. I tried to move my hoof, and my face twitched. I eventually worked through it, standing up again. I shook my head to clear it. The girls were all talking about what to do with me, none of whom were actually looking at me, which I found odd, all things considering. Rainbow was telling the others what happens when you get struck by lightning, with inputs from Twilight.
“...stopped heart, stopped breathing, temporary paralysis, even brain damage.” Rainbow was saying.
“Well, that paralysis was very temporary,” I said stepping up to lean on Rainbow’s shoulder. Rainbow jumped. There was a moment of silence as everyone looked at me with a shocked look, then I was dog piled as they all tried to hug me at the same time.
“Hot Head, you’re ok!” Twilight said.
“Duh. You should know me well enough by now, Twilight.” They all let go of me and we stood up.
“So what was all of that about?” Rainbow asked.
“I should be asking you the same thing, Rainbow. Wasn’t that lightning a little overkill for dumping a bucket of water on you?”
Rainbow rubbed the back of her head. “Heh, that was an accident. I was trying to make it rain.”
“Hold on, Rainbow, isn’t a direct hit from a lightning strike supposed to kill a pony?” Twilight asked the weather pony.
“Well, yeah, but…” Rainbow searched for a way out. “isn’t smashing into the ground at Mach one supposed to do the same thing? That didn’t kill him either.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “What gives? What are you?”
“Look,” I said, not meeting any of the ponies’ gazes. “I… I can’t tell you. At least, not yet.” I looked at Twilight. “I know I told you I would, Twilight, but… not now, ok?”
There was a collective “Aww” of disappointment as they dispersed that made me feel like shit inside. Pinkie, Fluttershy and Rarity started their own conversation; Applejack and Rainbow started up the hill again, leaving Twilight with me.
“Look, Twilight, I’m sorry. It’ll all make sense when I tell you.”
“It’s ok, Hot Head. I understand-” Twilight put her hoof on my shoulder, then recoiled. “Ouch!”
“Did...did I just shock you?”
“I think you did.” she called up the hill. “Hey Rainbow! Come here for a moment!”
Rainbow said one last thing to Applejack before fluttering down the hill. “What’s up, Twi?”
“Can you shock Hot Head with another lightning strike?”
“What?” Rainbow and I exclaimed at the same time.
“Why would you want to do that? Didn’t you just see what happened last time?” Rainbow gestured wildly.
“Well, I just put my hoof on his shoulder and it shocked me. I thought he might be retaining electricity somehow, and I wanted a second trial to have more data.”
Rainbow laughed. “Twi, some pegasi have that ability. Some of us can harness lightning and use it later. I’m surprised an egghead like you didn’t already know about this.”
“I can harness lightning?” I began to think of what I could do with that.
“Only some can? Can you, Rainbow?” Twilight seemed interested in this new concept. I supposed that she didn’t get concepts that were new to her very often.
“No, I can’t. Neither can Fluttershy, before you ask. It’s a rarity among pegasi. Actually, that explains a lot about why you just shrugged off a direct strike from lightning, Hot Head. Most ponies, even most pegasi can’t take a direct hit. If it’s a surge voltage hit or a step voltage, it’s not lethal.” She paused and looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, then pointed at me with a hoof. “Hoofbump.” She said simply.
I bumped the outstretched appendage, and I felt strangely drained as Rainbow grimaced and spasmed. After that was over, she collapsed on the ground, panting.
“Ok, Twilight, he should be safe now,” her eyes rolled in her sockets until she shook her head vigorously and stood up.
I gave Twilight a raised eyebrow as she squinted and cautiously reached out to poke my shoulder. She quickly pulled her hoof back, and I rolled my eyes as nothing happened.
-----
A couple hours of a very enjoyable afternoon had passed and the sky had started to turn dark. Most of the clouds had dispersed or moved on, leaving one solitary one left in the sky. We were all at the top of the hill relaxing again, and had just started to pack stuff up when Twilight suddenly looked up.
“Hey girls! Tonight’s supposed to be a great night for stargazing, with a full moon and everything. Why don’t we stay out here longer?”
Ponies took a moment to think about it. I didn’t have much to say in the matter, since I didn’t have any responsibilities or commitments that I knew of. Applejack came to a conclusion first.
“Well Twi, Ah’d be glad to stay, but Ah’m a might hungry, and thanks to Hot Head here, we’re all outa food.”
“Sorry, I was hungry!”
Applejack waved it away. Twilight spoke up again. “I don’t have my telescope either. Why don’t you and Pinkie go get more food while I go get my telescope and we’ll all meet back here?”
“I’ll have to go check on Sweetie Belle, but I’m sure she’ll be fine for an evening.”
“I guess I’ll go check on Tank if everypony else is leaving.”
“I need to feed my animals tonight, but I’ll be back.”
“Ok then, meet y’all back here!” Applejack reared and gave a yeehaw and everyone dashed off to their houses.
“I’ll just… hang here then.” I said to nobody in particular as I found myself alone. I looked up at the night sky, noticing the cloud that was still there.
Rainbow’s words came back to me, Speaking of clouds, are you ready to sleep on the best most comfortable sleeping material ever?! and Cloo-ouuds!
As I thought of the best way to get up there to rest my eyes before the girls came back, a familiar presence invaded my mind.
“Hey man, we’re all in the clear. They said we can tell them about everything.”
Somehow I knew which direction Bronze was going to come from and I turned toward him as he approached, running up the hill with his loping gait.
Finally. You have no idea what I’ve been through trying to stall.
“Do I want to know?”
You might find it entertaining, since it involves my pain and discomfort.
Bronze’s face lit up. “Do tell.”
I rolled my eyes and replayed my memories of the past couple hours for him. I was right; Bronze did take great enjoyment out of the shenanigans that had occurred.
After he had recovered, Bronze said, “In all seriousness though, you really do need to learn how to use those.” He nudged my wing with his nose.
I laughed and butted his head back with my own. I will. I already know how to glide at least.
“At least you’re making some progress.”
So how did your talk with Celestia go?
“Eh, it... didn’t. Here, just let me show you…”
I blinked a couple of times after the flashback was done. Wow. She’s rather...loud.
“Yeah. She still uses the ‘Royal Canterlot Voice.’ Not used to the modern way of speaking.”
I can imagine.
“So why are you out here by yourself?”
I brought the mares out here for a picnic to stall for you. They decided to keep it going for dinner as well and went to go get food. Something about a telescope, too.
“So where are they now?”
I don’t know. Couldn’t be much longer.
“Why didn’t you go with one of them? Offer to carry something?”
I shrugged. Chivalry is dead. Besides, they all ran off before I could say anything.
“Well here comes one now.”
Really? I don’t see anything.
A violet light grew in front of me and faded to reveal Twilight, Spike on her back, and a large telescope in her magic.
You terrific bastard.
“Hey Hot Head! Am I the first one here?”
“Yeah. Hey Spike.”
“Sup bro.”
Rushing air sounded overhead and something landed on my back. I saw a cyan hoof in my peripherals.
“Comfy, Rainbow Dash?” I asked.
“Yeah, thanks for asking!”
Bronze chuckled and I mentally facepalmed.
Soon enough, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie had all returned. Applejack finally hauled her cart of food up the hill. I raised an eyebrow at her. “That’s a lot of food.”
Applejack laughed. “Ah brought extra, now that Ah know how my company eats.” She looked between me and Rainbow pointedly.
I gave a half-apologetic shrug. “Anyway,” I took a deep breath. “I made a promise to Twilight a while ago. She may have told you all about it, maybe not, but either way I need to tell you all something. It’ll probably take a while, so make yourselves comfortable.” I waited a second for Spike and the mares to settle down. “Somewhere off of my back, Rainbow.”
“Aww.”
I stared at the ground, trying to gather my thoughts. Then I looked up at Bronze, who sat down next to me.
“Hey. Even if we’re allowed to tell them, you don’t have to yet.”
I know. But they deserve to know.
A mischievous twinkle showed in Bronze’s large eye.“If anything goes wrong, I can wipe their memories of this. Just so you know.”
Thanks.
“Your sarcasm needs some work.”
Mine does? I think you-
“Hey Hot Head? Are you ok?” Rainbow waved her hoof in front of my face. “You’ve been doing a lot of staring lately.”
I glanced at Bronze again. “Well, about that…”