//------------------------------// // Luna has an Anuerysm // Story: Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane // by Emerald Oracle //------------------------------// "Celestia, I had a dream." Luna and Celestia were enjoying some ice cream after a long day of Equestrian politics. "It's fuzzy, but whenever I think about it I get this deep sense of dread. Even stranger is that I know it has to do with Kenny." Celestia raised an eyebrow before swallowing her mouthful of butter pecan. "I'm sure it's nothing Luna. You of all people know how dreams work. It was probably some twisted fantasy where Kenny leaves you or something." "Maybe..." "I AM ON FIRE!!!" Luna and Celestia's heads swiveled to the closed door where Kenny's voice had just let loose some deeply troubling words. They both leapt from their seats to the door and swiftly opened it just in time to see a flaming Kenneth fly past and down the hallway, followed shortly by several unicorn guards with extinguishers in their magical grasp. Luna face-hoofed and followed her sister and guards in pursuing the burning biped. Kenny hadn't gotten far before his brain kicked in and he stop, dropped, and rolled on the floor. The guards and princesses arrived a couple seconds later and sprayed him down with the extinguishers. He was still on fire. Luna and Celestia both cast various spells to quell the flames that covered his body. He barely noticed as he continued to roll in vain. Luna finally noticed something. Despite the fire he was cloaked in, Kenny's clothes and body were entirely unharmed. The fire had only burned the rug he was rolling on. "Stop yelling!" Luna commanded. Kenny shut up. Luna grabbed him in her telekinetic grasp and lifted him in the air where he wouldn't burn anything else. Luna came to find that the fire was evenly spread across his entire body. Then her grip on him slipped and he landed painfully back on the ground. "What the hell, Luna!" "Sorry!" Luna tried again and noticed once again her magical hold was, well, slipping. It was as if the fire was actively repelling her magic. What had Kenneth gotten himself into? She didn't have time to ponder this before Kenny slipped away again. Celestia barely caught him as he fell. Her eyes widened at the effect the fire had on her grasp and, unlike Luna, attempted to hold him tighter. "Strange." Celestia said. She felt more resistance as she increased the force. Then the fire went out, followed immediately by a crack. "MY LEG!!!" "That sucked." Kenny said. Celestia gave him an apologetic smile as Dr. Graph finished up setting the cast on his leg. Celestia's grip had broken the results of Kenny's first attempt at a magic repelling spell. And his femur. Now he was bedridden till it healed. Luckily the break was clean, and with some carefully administered magic he should be fine by the end of the week. "Is there anything else Doctor?" Luna asked. After Luna had shouted at her sister while they carted his screaming form to the infirmary, Luna had been by Kenny's side every minute of his treatment. "Not that I've already said, Princess. He is to stay in bed till that leg of his heals." Turning to Kenny, "Drink plenty of fluids, sleep, you know the drill. I'll be back in a couple days to check your progress. A nurse will arrive shortly to assist you to your room." Dr. Graph packed away the rest of his materials and left the room. Kenny looked Celestia straight in the eyes, "How does a thousand year-old alicorn do this? Did you seriously not have enough self control that you broke my leg?" "Oh, shush you." Celestia said. She left the room and back to hers for more ice cream. Luna watched her leave with a scowl. A pale pink unicorn mare came in shortly after. "Okay Mr. Lee, are you ready to be moved?" The Nurse asked. Kenny gave her a incredulous look, "Only you?" "I'll take that as a yes." The Nurse pulled out a piece of paper. "Let's see, you live in... Ah! This room!" With a flash of blue magic, Kenny found himself on his bed in his room with nary a single bit of discomfort. The nurse and Luna followed, arriving mere seconds later. The Nurse made to move to Kenny's bed, but was beaten to it by Luna who used her magic to lift Kenny and tuck him in his bed. "Well, looks like things are all set." The Nurse said. "If you need me a buzzer has been left on your nightstand." After the nurse left Luna rushed to Kenny's bedside. "How are you feeling?" Luna asked as she inspected him for anything remotely wrong. "Are you in pain? Do you want me to get more painkillers?" "I'm fine, Luna. Besides, I think getting me drugs is the nurse's job." Kenny said, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position. "Nonsense! As your friend I shall cater to your every need. I will not leave your side for any reason!" Luna said with pride, decisively sitting on the floor next to him. "Luuunaa," Kenny whined, "Why are you doing this? I'll be fine! It's not like I'm paralyzed or something. I'm just sitting in bed till my leg heals. You don't have to do this." "But I WANT to do this. I am your friend, and friends care for one another. I will not take no for an answer." Luna stated with a happy grin. "Lu-" Kenny started. "Will NOT take no for an answer..." Luna growled, never losing that grin. Kenny thought it best to let Luna do what she wants. "Well I don't want you getting bored, so I think some board games are in order." Luna said, summoning several boxes to the bed with a slight glow from her horn. "What would you like to play?" "Luna, I don't know any of these games." "Oh! Right. Well then I'll choose one for you!" Luna levitated a dusty wooden box out of the stack. "This one's a favorite of mine. It's real easy too!" Luna blew away the dust revealing the box's intricate carving, slightly worn with use and age. Luna eagerly opened the box with her hooves, revealing a two stacks of cards nestled in red velvet. "The object of the game is to draw two cards, one from each stack. One card will give you an action, the other a question. You must do one of the two, or lose that round. If you successfully do your duties, you keep the card. Cards keep getting recycled till there are no more cards left." Kenny was intrigued, "That seems interesting, what do the cards say?" "You never know!" Luna said sweetly as she drew two cards with magic. "Use horn to feed friend." Luna read, "Or, Who was your first kiss?" Luna blushed when she read the second card. "Okay... Weird twist on that first one. Which is it?" Luna didn't know. She didn't want to tell him her first crush, but eating off her horn was demeaning and unbecoming of the princess. She silently cursed the cards' enchantment that allowed for it to constantly be something gross or embarrassing. She used her magic to summon a chocolate doughnut on her horn. "Do this quickly, or I will hurt you in ways no being in any universe can match." Luna said darkly. Kenny gave an evil grin. "Only because you so kindly asked my sweet Princess of the Night." Luna gained an intense blush at his words. She thanked the heavens that he was to busy eating the doughnut to notice. He finished quickly and cleanly, never once touching her horn in the process. "Okay, my turn." Kenny picked up two cards. "'How many girlfriends have you had and give a description of each.' or 'Make out with non-competitor.'" Luna couldn't believe it. He would surely choose the much less awkward card and tell her a lineup of his previous relationships, giving her the perfect idea of what kinds of girls he likes. "I'll go with the make-out." Luna nearly lost it right there. "WHAT! Why!" "Nobody wants to hear about two failed relationships." Kenny said as he read the Arcana. "You might want to get a camera. I'm gonna milk this for all it's got." "Longe Dico" Kenny's spell left a tingle in his mouth as he spoke, "Hey, is this thing on?" What the... Kenny? Where are you? Aren't you supposed to be in bed? Celestia's voice was not heard but sensed by Kenny, a result of his spell that allowed long range communication. Luna, having not been connected to the spell, was left out. "Me and Luna are playing some truth or dare card game and I have to make out with somebody, so I'm calling you in to be the 'somebody'." What! No! "Kenny, who are you talking to?" Luna asked with a growing concern that he had lost it. "Not now, Luna." Kenny shushed her, "C'mon, you owe me. You broke my leg remember? This is pay-back." There was an extended silence as he awaited her response. Fine. I'm on my way. Celestia teleported straight into the room. Trotted straight up to the smug, bed-ridden Kenny and pulled him into a short and angry kiss. What she didn't notice, however, was Kenny capturing the moment on his phone. He had never been so glad that he had test enchanted it. Kenny was to busy relishing that he had finally gotten Celestia off her high horse to see where her hoof was moving. That was towards his scrotum, for your information. At speeds that would make Rainbow Dash impressed. The resulting blow was so painful, every stallion in Canterlot suddenly crossed their hind legs and shivered. "We hope it was everything you expected and more!" Celestia said with a smug smile of her own. She teleported off to the noise of Kenny's high-pitched groans, music to her ears. He held his crotch as pain radiated from the area into his entire being. Luna had been completely forgotten. She was still staring at the exact spot above the bed where Kenny and Celestia's lips had met. Her brain had been fried by a flurry of emotions, including, but not limited to, anger, self-doubt, jealously and shock. While she slowly recovered, Kenny was doing his best to repress the pain in his groin. It eventually faded to a more tolerable level. "Luna, can you get me an ice pack before my kids cease to exist?" Kenny asked, receiving no response. "Luna?" Kenny finally noticed Luna's current predicament. He waved his hand's in front of her eyes and snapped his finger's in her ears. No response. Luna's brain began to reboot on one thought. Celestia had kissed Kenny. Luna then came to the conclusion that she must abandon these subtle attempts at wooing and win over Kenny before Celestia took him away. All this while Kenny tried to bring her back to reality. Luna, without warning, leapt on the bed and pulled Kenny into a kiss of her own. Kenny wasn't even aware of what what was happening when Luna skillfully inserted her tongue into his open mouth, making sure to get a good taste of him while she could. Then Kenny began to panic. He shoved Luna off him and on to the floor where she landed with in a heap. "Luna! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Kenny said, wiping his mouth. "Did you lose your mind? Why did you do that!" "Because I love you..." Luna's words were so quiet that even she didn't hear them. "Answer me Luna!" Kenny yelled ready to disappear should she prove to be dangerous again. He was scared, to say the least. Luna had just crossed a line and reactivated Kenny's emergency Luna Rape measures. "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DAMMIT!!!" Luna initially yelled in her Canterlot Voice, returning to a normal tone afterwards. "I love you. I love your sweet brown eyes and your exotic charms. I love that you treat me like your equal, never once truly acknowledging my status. I love how from day one you have done nothing but show me kindness that has been kept from me by so many others since my return. You're the best thing that has ever come up in far too long a time, Kenny. I've been spending the last several weeks trying to get you to at least be attracted to me, but you never notice. I was so afraid to tell you how I felt that I began to think it was a lost cause..." Luna's voice teetered out. She felt the wetness of tears on her cheeks as they trickled from her eyes. She had to admit it was good to let it all out, but it was overshadowed by the dread of knowing she had absolutely ruined any chance she had with the man that held her heart. She silently wept, staring at the floor. refusing to look at Kenny in fear of what she would see. She was sure he was going to reject her. "Well, that's tons better than what I thought." Kenny said with a sigh of relief. Luna's head shot up. What? "Though crying was a little unwarranted. Also, now I owe Flash Sentry a piggy-back ride." Was he really not...? "I guess if you really do feel that way I can give it a try. No promises though." Luna gave out a squeal of joy and jumped into his lap, wrapping him in a hug a peppering him with kisses. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou..." Luna repeated over and over. "Yeah, yeah, I get it Luna. Just remember this is just an experiment, not any sort of reciprocated feelings." "Yet..." Luna added in, sticking her tongue out at him. She hopped from his bed and made to head out. "I'm going to get a celebratory lunch, stay right where you are." "Like I have a choice?" Kenny deadpanned as she opened the door. "Bye~ Honey Bunch!~" Luna almost sang as she left, passing by Flash Sentry in the doorway. Flash looked back at Luna and to Kenny in his bed with wide, admiring eyes. "Duuuude......."