//------------------------------// // The Day Of // Story: Rockets & Rainbooms // by PhycoKrusk //------------------------------// “He’s late!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, nervously pacing back and forth. “He’s late! He’s late! How long should we wait? Oh, why is he late?” “Pinkie!” The sound of Skitch’s voice snapped Pinkie back to reality, to the mid-morning where she and her closest friends, including Spike, were waiting in a small clearing in Sweet Apples Acres. It was the place that Skitch had determined was ideal for the meeting Pinkie was fretting over, because it was, in her own words, ‘easy to spot from the air and almost impossible to overlook.’ It was the day that they would finally meet the mysterious Jacoby Flynn, whom each of them had known only by name, since five weeks prior when an experiment of his gone awry and sent a streak of light and sound crashing into the clearing they were standing in. “Griffondorf is over four thousand miles away from Ponyville,” Skitch continued. “It’s one thing to take the train to Canterlot, or go flying to Cloudsdale. But when you’re talking on this scale, you can’t expect to show up anywhere exactly on time. He probably had to charter an airship and everything for this trip.” “I know, Skitchy, I know, I know,” Pinkie said back with no small amount of upset, wringing her mane like a dish towel. “But what if he’s not here today? What if it takes until tomorrow, or the day after?” Suddenly, Pinkie gasped. “What if he doesn’t see my sign and misses Ponyville completely?!" The others all turned and looked at the sign Pinkie had made for the occasion, 'WELCOME TO PONYVILLE’ painted out in ten yard-tall block letters. “Pinkie, ah feel pretty confident there ain’t no way, but no way that Skitch’s boyfriend is gonna miss yer sign,” Applejack said in an effort to reassure her. "He is not my boyfriend," Skitch half-snarled. "He is a colleague who very much enjoys science and engineering, and is an actual rocket scientist to boot, which I guess is considered hot among some humans. One day, I hope to count him as a friend, but he's not yet, and he's definitely not my boyfriend. The last thing I need right now is a boy or-“ She briefly directed her glare towards Rarity- “A girlfriend." As Skitch finished, Rarity was left to quietly wonder exactly what she'd done. "Oh, I do hope he's nicer than the last griffon, Fluttershy said before clamping a hoof over her mouth, "Oh, I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. I forgot...." Rainbow Dash simply waved off the remark, although a keen eye may have noted the momentary hesitation in her wing beat. "It's fine, Fluttershy. Besides, this is Skitch-Sketch we're talking about. She's got a good head on her shoulders. Totally not gonna fall head-over-hooves for some bozo." Skitch acknowledged Rainbow Dash's remark with a glare, but otherwise decided to leave it alone. "I'm sure he'll be very nice, Flutters. Remember how polite his letters were?" "I certainly remember how polite and well-written they were," said Rarity, adding her opinion to the pile. “Perhaps his first was a bit peculiar, though….” Geehrte Empfänger/Dear Recipient: Wenn sie innerhalb der Hoch Bundesvereinigung der Flügel, glückwünsche. Sie haben ausgewählt als teilnehmer in unserer “High-Speed-Ballistische Geschosses Experiment." Wir entschuldigen für alle schäden die durch unserer geschosses verursacht, und bieten unser beileid wenn es versehentlich verletzt oder getötet jemand in der bereich. Wenn gefunden, senden bitte ein mitteilung an die beiliegende adresse, und wir werden so bald wie möglich erreichen, um ihn zu entnehmen, zahlen für schäden und haben Ihr foto für die zeitungen gemacht. If you are without the High Confederation of Wings, we apologize. Our “High-Speed Ballistic Projectile Experiment" has gone awry, and our projectile has traveled further than anticipated and intended. We apologize for any damage it may have caused, and offer our condolences if it has inadvertently injured or killed anycreature in the vicinity. If found, please send notice to the enclosed address, and we shall arrive as soon as possible to retrieve it, pay for any damages, and compensate you for your trouble. Aufrichtig/Sincerely, Jacoby Flynn “Jake” “But I suppose that’s to be expected, given its, unusual method of delivery. Oh, what do you imagine he must be like? The gentlestallion scientist, pushing the very boundaries of knowledge in pursuit of worldwide peace, but in desperate need of a companion to stave off the icy talons of a lonely heart? Oh, it's like something out of a storybook." "That's because it is something out of a storybook," Skitch retorted. "Specifically, out of that penny dreadful you hid on top of the armoire where you were sure Sweetie wouldn't find it. Which she totally did, by the way, so thanks for that incredibly uncomfortable conversation about why a stallion would want to plow a mare's verdant prairie." When Rarity stopped breathing and her face turned almost the same color as her mane, Skitch figured they were about even. "Besid-" “Shhh!” said Pinkie Pie suddenly. “Shhh shhh shhh shhhhhhh! Listen!” As if to further demonstrate exactly what she meant, she leaned towards the northeast, cocked her head, and raised a hoof up to her ear, all in a very exaggerated manner. Especially since raising a hoof to the ear had not been proven to assist hearing in any fashion, by anypony, ever. But nevertheless, the others could not deny hearing something, like a distant, droning buzz that steadily grew louder. And then like a dive-bombing pegasus, an airship zoomed through one of the cloud banks in the sky towards the earth, leveling out and swinging its nose sharply to the right to bring it in line with the stretch of clear ground that Pinkie’s welcome sign had designated as an impromptu landing zone, its agility surprising for something that didn’t look terribly agile. Halting its descent just above the tree line, the buzz from the ship silenced for a moment and then resumed, rapidly rising to a deafening roar as its drew closer and reversed its engines, coming to a near stop almost directly overhead. Four heavy anchors dropped to the ground, marking the earth with their weight, and then marking it further as pitons plowed through the ground with the loud bang of impact hammers driven by compressed air. The gondola they dropped from resembled less the hard-lined, industrial designs common in photographs and drawings of airships, and more a naval sloop, although with a lifting envelope rather than sails, and no cannon ports. Griffish writing was proudly hammered into the darkened steel bands that were riveted around the wooden hull, and it very likely could have passed for a pleasure ship of a some noble from a far off land were it not for the fact that its beauty was entirely in its design and engineering, rather than decoration, and that it was so fast. The name painted on the front of the hull, DIE TRAUER STERN only added to its majesty. All seven ponies (and one dragon) stood gaping at the craft floating in front of them, until Rainbow Dash broke the silence: "If Skitch really isn't going for this guy then dibs.” Further remarks were halted when a rope and plank ladder rolled down from the airship’s deck, and with methodical, clunking steps, what was very obviously not a griffon, but a minotaur began descending to the ground below. Rainbow Dash swallowed hard. “O-on second thought….” With some degree of trepidation, the ponies and dragon approached, stopping just before the minotaur as he stepped onto the earth and turned to face them, looking even larger than Princess Celestia at her most regal. The two-piece suit and tie he wore only made him look all the more massive: Talk that would later spread around town would describe him as ‘forty hooves tall and twelve hooves wide.’ His expression was passively guarded as he regarded the ponies before him, although he did quirk his brow when he regarded Skitch. It took a not-insignificant amount of willpower for Skitch to keep her mouth closed. She’d known minotaurs were taller than ponies, but at that moment, she felt like a ten-year old human standing next to a linebacker. Like an elf standing next to a troll. Like a… well, like a pony standing next to a minotaur. "Mister Flynn. You're, uh...." He was what, exactly? She wracked her brain at light speed for an answer. "Markedly larger than I imagined?" "I'm Stonehoof," the minotaur stated before raising a thumb and jerking it up towards the airship. "Flynn's still doin' post-flight." "Oh," Skitch replied. "Uh, well, then. We'll keep waiting?" "Yeah, sure." And then, the minotaur resumed looking passively guarded. Several moments of awkward silence passed, and then, perhaps sensing an opportunity, Rarity stepped forward. "Well, Mister Stonehoof, I must say that it is an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Rarity, and I simply must compliment you on your impeccable sense of fashion-" A single, raised finger shoved into her face halted any further words. "Hold that thought," replied the minotaur as he turned his attention upwards. "Yo! Your Excellency!" "Was ist los, Herr Stonehoof?" came a reply from above. "Come down for a minute, would ya? There's a pony here who's dying to meet you.” A few moments of relative silence passed. “Vell, if you’re certain,” came another reply, “Alzough I can’t being to imagine vhy….” A moment later, a griffon leapt over the side of the airship and gracefully glided to the ground, landing next to the assembled group. For a moment, the ponies (and dragon) wondered if perhaps Rarity’s vision of the ‘gentlestallion scientist’ was correct as this was perhaps the most dapper-looking griffon any of them had ever seen, wearing a spread-collared white shirt that was probably made from silk, with a cranberry red cravat around his neck and held in place with a pearl pin, a charcoal grey vest atop those, and a black frock coat atop that. The talons on his feet were all covered with chased silver caps, and a white boutonniere adorned his coat. They wonder if her vision had been correct, at least, until the griffon opened his beak and removed all doubts from their minds. “Fräulein,” he said, gesturing to Rarity. “Your mane!” “Darling!” the unicorn replied, gesturing back to him. “Your clothes!” And like that, they were off, both excitedly chattering with each other about fashions and styles and season this and bespoke that and this definitely wasn’t Jacoby Flynn so everyone else promptly lost interest in the conversation. “I guess it was a good thing he came along after all.” Accompanying the newest voice from above, a second griffon touched down by the group, dressed much less ostentatiously in a sensible, dark grey three-piece suit and navy blue necktie, the latter of which he paused for a moment to straighten. Or maybe it wasn’t,” he added, when he realized that two chatterboxes weren’t about to slow down or stop. One deep breath later, the piercing shriek of an eagle silenced all voices, including those that had yet to start up with him, and pulled all attention right where he wanted it. "Well, I believe introductions are in order," Jacoby said. "As you may have guessed, I'm Jacoby Flynn, and I see you've already met my close friend and my second, Alexios Stonehoof." The minotaur waved in greeting, impassive as he has been. "Hey, how's it goin'?" "And it seems you may have also met our dear friend and occasional financier, His Excellency, Count Hänsel von Vergoldetflügal the Third." "A pleasure to meet all of you," said Hänsel with a bow. "A Count?" said Rarity with sudden concern. "Oh my, and here I was just talking your ear off about trifles." "Zere are no trifles ven it comes to dress, fräulein," replied Hänsel. "Excesses, certainly, but never trifles.” “And there will be plenty of time to discuss those later, I’m sure,” said Jacoby, looking to Skitch somewhat expectantly. It took her a moment to pick up on her cue. “Oh! Er, that is, I’m Skitch-Sketch, and am largely responsible for this particular gathering of creatures here today.” For the briefest of moments, Skitch could swear that Jacoby’s eyes narrowed after she introduced herself, but it would have been so slight and happened so quickly, it was more likely that she just imagined it. "And with me are my dearest friends. Our resident brain, Twilight Sparkle.” “Hello!” Twilight said cheerfully. “Daredevil extraordinaire, Rainbow Dash.” “‘sup?” asked Rainbow Dash. “The Sultana of Style, Rarity.” “Absolutely charmed,” said Rarity with a curtsey. “Ol’ Reliable herself, Applejack Apple.” “Guten tag, und willkommen auf Sweet Apple Acres,” said Applejack. Everycreature present froze at that and cast a very critical eye over the farm mare, he just kicked at the dirt a little sheepishly. “So ah spechren a li’l Griffish, so what?” After another moment of silence, Skitch launched right back into things. “Applejack Apple. And the mare behind her is Fluttershy.” Fluttershy said nothing, but peeked around Applejack to see who was where. She ducked back immediately after, and Skitch just laughed nervously before clearing her throat. “And next, the pony responsible for the giant banner that likely gave our position away, Pinkie-“ was not where she had been a moment ago- “Pie….” “Oh, Pinkie, don’t-“ Fluttershy started to say when she realized the pink one had separated from the herd and was having a rather heated staring contest with Alexios. Anything else Fluttershy to say, however, was silenced when Jacoby raised his talons to indicate she should stop. “No. Don’t interrupt.” As quickly as he could, the griffon fished out from one of the pockets of his jacket what looked to be a large, stem-wound pocket watch with two extra stems, which he promptly opened and started fiddling with. Silence fell over the whole assembly as they all intently watched the exchange between Pinkie and Alexios unfold (except for jacoby, who was intently watching the device in his talons). Seconds stretched on for a full half-minute before Pinkie suddenly said, “Good talk.” “Word,” replied Alexios. Unfortunately, there were exactly none of those that could adequately explain what just happened. “And what would introductions be without introducing Spike the Dragon?” Skitch asked in the frantic hope that Pinkie hadn’t just divided by zero. She heard an irritated huff from Jacoby as he put his device away. “Hi!” said Spike cheerily, waving his claws in greeting. “I zink I speak for all of us ven I say zat it is an absolute joy to meet all of you,” Hänsel said. “And I don’t want any of you to think I disagree when I say on to other business,” Jacoby added, “But there’s something that’s weighing pretty heavily on my mind right now that I’d really like to put to rest?” Applejack chuckled. “Ah’m th’ same way when something’ ain’t sitting’ right with me,” she said before pointing a hoof towards a tarp-covered pile, not far from them, “She’s right over there.” Jacoby was in the air almost before Applejack even finished speaking, his short flight to the tarp looking more like an exaggerated leap than anything else. Like a fledging unwrapping a gift on his birthday, he grabbed the tarp with both talons and pulled it off mightily. Underneath was a huge, fifteen yard long ‘cigar' covered in thin plates of polished steel that were riveted together, with four large fins at one end. Runes had been hammered all up and down the body, and although they looked mundane, at one point they shined brightly with magical light. It was badly scratched and even slightly bent, but had been enough intact that Skitch had no trouble identifying what Applejack had found in the clearing one day five week prior: Jacoby Flynn had built and launched a long-ranged rocket that needed serious work on its guidance system. “Unglaubhaft,” Jacoby said once he’d had a moment to take in the sight. He turned back to Skitch as she and the others came up to join him. “You were right. It is mostly intact. Much more than I could have ever hoped, even after your letter.” He turned to Applejack. "And, I know I’ve written it several times, but I want to apologize again for everything. Especially for any undue distress from lacking information.” Dear Mr. Jacoby Flynn: We have recovered the rocket used in your “High-Speed Ballistic Projectile Experiment,” and I can report that, without making a detailed observation of its plumbing and mechanisms, it appears to have survived with relatively little damage. That being said, not one of us is happy or in any way pleased that it fell to us to recover your rocket at all. Although nocreature was injured, one could have been. Furthermore, it landed in an apple orchard, and I have advised the owners that the area it fell, and a large area around it, should be closed and kept off-limits until we can determine the extent of contamination by unburned propellent or oxidizers. Please retrieve your rocket as soon as possible. In the meantime, please advise us on steps to take to reduce the danger posed by the fuel. The reservoirs do not appear to be compromised, but we have been unwilling to risk exposure. Sincerely, Skitch-Sketch “Well, Ah reckon we kin let it slide this time,” said Applejack, wearing a serious frown. “But only cuz nopony got hurt, an’ only cuz nothin’ got poisoned, an’ only cuz I know yer a decent enough griffon that ya won’t be droppin’ any more surprises on us. Ah’m dead serious, Mister Flynn. Do not do somethin’ like this again. Next time one o’ yer contraptions lands anywhere we kin see it, we’re tellin’ th’ Princesses.” “I understand completely.” Jacoby turned back to the rocket. “It’s most important that nocreature was hurt. Especially your sister and her friends.” Again, he looked back to Applejack. "Did they really try to see if they would get their marks for rocket science?” The orange mare nodded once. “Huh.” Jacoby looked back to the rocket. “Well, maybe if they were supervised. With a much, much, much smaller rocket." “Perhaps you can answer zeir questions about rocketry, show zem how it functions vonce you have it off ze ground,” Hänsel suggested. Jacoby nodded. And then after a moment, turned about to give a rather threatening look to the other griffon. “What do you mean once I have it off the ground?” “Herr Flynn, ve discussed zis at lengz,” Hänsel replied. “You are here for ze rocket. I am here for ze Canterlot market quarter, terms to vich you agreed readily. Alzough I must confess I now hold hope zat Frau Rarity may vish to accompany me.” “Me, Your Excellency?” Rarity asked, momentarily shocked. She recovered quickly enough. “Why, I would be delighted to accompany you to Canterlot-“ “Now hold on a minute!” All eyes turned to Rainbow Dash. “You can’t just go running off to Canterlot with some guy you just met!” she exclaimed. “I mean, you just met him!” “Um, I think Rainbow’s right, Rarity? I mean, you have great judgment about everything I’ve ever known you to have a judgement about, but running off to Canterlot with some guy you just met has ‘Stranger Danger’ written all over it.” It was perhaps a wholly uncharacteristic questioning of Rarity's judgement that earned Spike a long, confused stare from the unicorn. Again, she recovered quickly enough. “Now, just listen here. I am adult, and if I want to go running off to Canterlot with ‘some guy’ I just met, that is my prerogative!" "Nein, nein, zey are absolutely correct," Hänsel said before Rarity could say anything else that she might regret saying later. "One of ze most important duties of any creature is to protect ze honour und virtue of zeir friends. Herr Spike? Frau Rainbow Dash?" The griffon turned to face fully and dipped into a bow. "I vould be honoured if ze two of you vould accompany myself und Frau Rarity on our visit to Canterlot." Neither pegasus nor dragon had words for a few moments. "Well," Rainbow Dash said finally, "If you'd be honored. Which it totally makes sense that you would be. I mean, I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest and coolest thing with two wings." "Perhaps zen you can show me on ze vay. But for now-" the griffon made a show of turning around dramatically- "Ve go. To ze nearest bank, I mean. I have only Griffish talons, und shall need some pocket money before ve go furzer.” “Oh, I know just the place,” Rarity replied as they started off on their way to Ponyville proper, Rainbow Dash happily keeping pace. Spike hesitated for a moment, raised a claw and opened his mouth to voice an objection, and then promptly gave up and hurried to catch up. It was several moments after they’d left sight before Twilight realized what had just transpired. “He just left with my assistant!” “Never mind with a unicorn whose help we could have really used!” Jacoby added. “The rocket weighs almost five tons!" “Well, you all have fun with that,” Alexios said, adjusting his grass hat. “You ready, Pinks?” “Sure am!” exclaimed the perpetually perky party pony, her tropical print t-shirt a perfect match for the minotaur’s. With a solid fist/hoofbump, they turned as a pair and began wandering away from Sweet Apple Acres themselves. Jacoby stared at them for several seconds, and then opened his mouth to ask a question. No words made it out before he felt a hoof resting on her shoulder. He turned her head to look at Skitch, who shook her own in a solemn, serious manner. Recalling a certain incident just a few weeks prior, Jacoby pushed the question from his mind and tried to forget he ever thought of it. "Reckon ah oughter be on m' way, too," said Applejack. "Trees ain't gonna buck themselves, never mind th' fence that needs mendin'. But if'n y'all need some muscle fer a quick spell, give a holler, an' I'll come a runnin’." “I should be going too,” chimed in Fluttershy meekly, “It was very nice to meet you, Mister Flynn, but I can’t be gone too long from my animal friends. And, um, your airship was pretty loud, and that’s probably good, I don’t know much about airships, but I think it may have scared some of them. So, I should go make sure they’re alright. Um, if you don’t mind, that is.” It was clear from her barely concealed cringing that the pegasus was expecting an extreme response, but Jacoby just smiled warmly. “Of course I don’t mind, Miss Fluttershy,” he said. “Maybe we can meet again later, if you’d like.” “Oh, that would be lovely, I think,” she said with a smile. “It was nice meeting you again, Mister Flynn. Goodbye Twilight, goodbye Skitch. I’ll see you all later.” Fluttershy’s departure was otherwise quiet. “A very nice pony,” Jacoby observed after a moment, “A bit too quiet, a bit too shy for such a lovely face, but a very nice pony indeed.” “I certainly think so,” added Twilight, “And I really do want to thank you for being so gentle with her, Mister Flynn. Her last encounter with a griffon did not go positively.” “Hey, you two have realized that now it’s just the three of us moving the rocket, right?” Skitch pointed out. Several seconds of awkward silence passed before Jacoby acknowledge that he was, in fact, aware of that particular development. “Scheiße!" Later… Legal Tender was one of a long line of Ponyville bankers, ever since his grandfather had first started with little more than a shed and a safe when Ponyville was still young. He’d seen all manner of things in a bank as he grew, and had seen even more once he became president, but would have conceded on any day that there was probably plenty he hadn’t seen. The list of things he hadn’t seen, however, grew shorter when he found himself sitting at his desk, with a warmly smiling griffon and unicorn sitting across from him, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. “I want to be certain I understand the situation, Count von Ver… goldetflügal?” he said. Foreign names always gave him trouble, but when the griffon nodded to indicate that he was correct, he continued. “You’re planning to make a day trip to Canterlot, but only have Griffish money, and so would like to exchange talons for bits, so that you can complete any purchases you might wish to make?” “Zis is precisely vat I vish to do,” Hänsel replied. “Yes, I see.” Legal Tender took a calming breath, and then pressed on. “As much as we do wish to encourage tourism, I’m afraid we won’t be able to help you in this instance. Currency exchanges are available only for those who hold an account with the bank.” “Well now, Mister Tender, that hardly seems fair,” Rarity said. “Now, now, Frau Rarity, it seems sensible to me,” Hänsel interjected before the unicorn could get any further. “Herr Tender surely knows vat is best for his bank. Und if exchanges can only be performed for zose viz an account, zen clearly ze only course of action zat is open, is to open an account!” Without flourish or further ado, he reached into his jacket and withdrew a small, leather purse and produced a small stack of non-Equestrian currency. “I trust zat zis vill satisfy any minimums?" “Well, that, uh…” Legal Tender was put-off by the coins on the table in front of him. Even if it was non-Equestrian currency, he could see that characters stamped on these coins indicated they were worth far more than a single unit of currency. He recovered quickly enough. “That’s certainly enough to open an account. There’s still the issue of identity verification-“ A few more talons dropped onto the desk with a satisfying clink of gold. “-Which has already been accomplished, since it’s clear that Miss Rarity is willing to vouch for you. Then, there’s the affidavit of non hostility by a foreign national-“ Clink “-But that’s more of a formality than a strict requirement. Then, you’ll need to fill out the formal application for a checking and savings account-“ Clink “-But I can fill that out for you!” As the transaction progressed and the bank’s president became more excited, the tellers began moving through the own transactions with greater and greater haste. Finally, they slammed the cages of their tills shut and the security officers sprang into action, all but shoving the customers out the door, locking it, and flipping the sign from ‘open’ to ‘closed.’ In one swift motion, Legal Tender opened a drawer of his desk and, shoving his hooves and head in, produced two crystal tumblers and a bottle of brandy. In another swift motion, he’d poured Hänsel and Rarity each a short glass and replaced the bottle in its drawer. “Your Excellency,” he began, “I would like to formally welcome you to the Community Bank of Ponyville. In addition to your new checking and savings accounts, perhaps you might be interested in contributing to our Money Market Fund?" Meanwhile... A coil of rope was dropped into a pile with several others, bringing the total length of available rope just north of one hundred yards. And most likely, it wasn't going to be enough. As one, Jacoby, Skitch, and Twilight sat down on the dusty ground, a bit harder than any of them intended to. As one, they all looked from the rope, to the rocket, to the airship, and then back to the rocket. As one, they all started to reach the same conclusion: "Fffff..." "Ficke." "Fuck." "Phooey." Jacoby and Skitch looked at Twilight, who looked back at them sheepishly. As one, they all realized that one of those words was not like the others. Also meanwhile… Pinkie Pie counted up her bits once again. So many bits, all brought to her by asking Alexios if he was capable of any ‘strengths of feet.’ After he suggested that she may have meant ‘feats of strength,’ the game was on. She would claim he could do something that sounded absurd, ponies would wager that he couldn’t, and he would proceed to prove them wrong. Pinkie wasn’t counting her bits because she was greedy, mind. She was counting them because negotiations over the next feat of strength had gone awry, and Alexios had taken it upon himself to handle them. But finally, she stopped counting and started listening, because it sounded like things were getting interesting as Alexios finally clarified exactly what the challenge was. “You want me to do handstand push-ups, on one finger?” he asked the muscle-bound pegasus with comically small wings. “YEAH!” came the reply. Alexios stared at the stallion that had been earlier identified as Snowflake, and then shrugged his shoulders. “Sure, alright. Pinks, you get all that?” “Yepperoni!” the party pony exclaimed. “Five handstand push-ups on one finger. Success sees twenty bits to Alexios Stonehoof and company, failure sees twenty bits to Snowflake van Liefeld.” Snowflake glared up at Alexios. “We doin’ this?” he asked. “Oh yeah,” Alexios replied with an almost manic grin. “We’re doin’ this.” He took several steps back, and then suddenly launched into a handspring, although he aborted the ‘spring’ part and left himself standing. Carefully, he shifted his weight to one hand, and then back to the other after curling all but one finger into a fist. One came easily enough. Two saw a labored grunt from Alexios. Three took longer to complete as the toll from pushing several hundred pounds of minotaur up on a single finger started becoming apparent. Four was hard. Very hard. Going back up was a full ten second struggle for Alexios, and it was very apparent that he had to fight the urge, however briefly, to use both hands. Five… nearly saw the minotaur collapse, and only a quick jerk of his head kept his horns from touching the ground (which likely would’ve counted as a forfeit). But he recovered, and pushed. His biceps and triceps bulged, steam shot from his nostrils, and at least three mares and one stallion swooned at the sight. Finally, he straightened his arm completely, and quickly tumbled back to his hooves, trying vainly to rub the fire and numbness spreading through his muscles. The crowd looked on in silence. And then, Snowflake zipped over to Alexios, grabbed his hand, and raised it high into the air. “YEAH!” And the crowd went wild. More later… “First class!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she stretched out on the bench seat she’d claimed in the large, private suite aboard the Friendship Express. “I’m calling it now. Nothing beats first class.” “Well, there’s something to be said for coach, too!” Spike said, sitting on his own bench seat and making sure he looked like he wasn’t especially enjoying it. Prior to leaving Ponyville, he took some time to change into a suit of his own, even if it was a bit tight around the chest from not having been worn in some time. He reasoned he may as well make an effort to dress up a bit because they were going to Canterlot (and not at all because he was trying to upstage Hänsel). “Like what?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Uh, well…” The dragon wracked his brain. There had to be something. “Well, it’s a great opportunity for pony-watching! I mean, you never know who’s going to get on the train. And besides, as nice as first class is, what’s the up side? So you get some more space to yourself, it doesn’t get you to Canterlot any faster." “Oh really, Spike. It may not be faster, per se, but surely you can agree the added comfort makes it seem faster,” Rarity said, enjoying a bench of her own. “Although those tickets were quite pricey. Are, you sure there’s nothing we can do to make it up to you somehow, Your Excellency?” Lounging on the last bench, chuckling and waving off the question, was Hänsel. “Fräulein, I’m going to Canterlot, already having ze time of my life, viz a beautiful mare, anozer beautiful mare, und a dragon dressed more spectacularly zen I could have dreamed even ze vildest of dreams. How could I not get tickets in first class?” “The Count’s right, Rarity,” chimed in Rainbow Dash again. “Kick back and enjoy the ride. This is gonna be the best. Day. Ever.” As the others struck up conversations, Spike folded his arms across his chest and grumped. He was the only one who seemed to notice. A tiny bit more later… Alexios and Pinkie had elected to spend some of their hard-earned cash at Sugar Cube Corner, and just a short while after introducing the minotaur to the Cakes (who were both excited to meet a minotaur and nervous about how much one might be able to eat), were sitting at a corner table, happily slurping down soft drinks. “Aaaah,” they said in unison when they stopped to take a break from the tough work of happily slurping down soft drinks. “Root beer." An even tinier bit more later… Somewhere, somehow, even more rope had joined the pile, although exactly where Applejack had found it was a mystery that would remain unsolved for some time. Not that it mattered. With almost two hundred yards of rope, there was now enough to enact some kind of plan. “Thanks for letting us use these pulleys, Miss Apple,” Jacoby said to the earth pony with a nod. “We should be able to get it now. “Shoot, t‘weren’t nothin’,” Applejack replied. “But are ya sure y’all don’t need any help? I can take a break an’ lend a hoof.” “Thanks, Applejack, but I think we’ve got it. We already took enough time away from your chores with waiting earlier, never mind the, uh, ‘incident’ at the school you had to attend to.” Twilight was careful to not ask for any details about that incident. Largely for fear that it might necessitate a story that would introduce further delays for all creatures present. “Do we?” Skitch asked. “Got it, I mean. We have a lot of rope, some pulleys, and that block and tackle that Jake brought with him. How exactly is that going to help?” “I still say you moved to nicknames too fast,” Twilight silently grumped. “Fear not, dear Skitch, for I have a cunning plan to lift all nearly-five-tons of this rocket up high enough to be safely attached to die Trauer Stern,” Jacoby replied. If he heard Twilight’s comment about nicknames, he didn’t acknowledge it. “Really?” Twilight asked, suddenly standing beside Jacoby and giving him a start. “I love cunning plans! How cunning would you say this one is?” A few moments of quiet passed until Jacoby had composed itself. “Why, it’s so, cunning, you could put ears on it and call it a fox?” “Oh, that’s cunning.” A few more moments of quiet passed. “Twilight,” Skitch said finally. “Maybe you want to, I dunno, give him a little space?" Only then did Twilight realize that she was encroaching into Jacoby's space in a fashion that might be considered 'rude,' and promptly backed away. "Sorry!" she said a bit too excitedly. "Sorry. It's just, my foalsitter used to have 'cunning plans' when I was a filly and they were always great fun. I guess I got a little carried away with nostalgia. Sorry." "Oh, it's fine. It's better than fine!" Twilight's earlier enthusiasm apparently being infectious, Jacoby was now sporting a wide smile of his own. "The last time any creature was that excited about one of my plans was...." The griffon trailed off, although the expression on his face looked less like he'd forgotten something and more like he had meant to forget something. "Well, it's been a long time. But anyway, I'm going to need your help with this cunning plan. Yours too, Skitch. Miss Apple, care to join us?" But Applejack had already slipped away, spurred to leave by the nagging half-certainty that whatever 'cunning plan' had been dreamt up, it was not going to end with a favorable outcome. Much more later… For many months, a certain lone milk jug had sat undisturbed on top of a certain lone boulder on the outskirts of Ponyville. It must be noted that this was not for the lack of trying by local colts and fillies to knock it from its perch with an assortment of thrown objects (mostly rocks). Eventually, even the adults tried their luck, and none of them had succeeded. Even Lyra Heartstrings, regarded by some as the best rock thrower in Ponyville thanks to her unusual, upright stance, hadn’t succeeded. So difficult and seemingly impossible was the task of knocking that lone milk jug from that lone rock, that the jug had been christened, ‘The Untouchable.’ But no reign is perfect, or truly lasts forever; everything crumbles, given enough time. And that is why scores of local colts and fillies, and even several of the adults of Ponyville had gathered at the ‘throwing line,’ a small line of rocks on the ground ten yards away from the jug. Standing at that line was one Pinkie Pie, still wearing that red, tropical print t-shirt. She’d tried to hit the jug too, and like everypony else, had failed. But it was not Pinkie Pie they were there to see. It was her companion, the large, muscled minotaur in a matching tropical print t-shirt, wearing a loosely-bound grass hat, tossing a small stone up and catching with one hand, who was decidedly not from Ponyville. For several long moments, he looked at the jug, sizing up his competition. And then finally, he caught the stone and did not toss it up again. “Alright,” he said darkly. “We’re doin’ this.” With the flare of a professional baseball player, he wound up and then pitched, the stone streaking away from his hand like a comet. It flew fast and true, slamming into the side of the jug with the force of a freight train… … and ricocheted off towards the stratosphere, leaving the jug to stand exactly where it had always stood, unblemished. All eyes watched as the rock disappeared into the sky, moving towards Sweet Apple Acres with speed that seemed quite unreasonable. “Yeah?” said Snowflake, who, like every other creature present, wasn’t quite sure what had just happened. Seconds after that… "Mister Flynn, are you sure this is safe?" Twilight asked. The target of her concern, and what had prompted her question, was the probably too-complex system of ropes, pulleys, blocks and winches that she and Skitch had helped cobble together into a lifting assembly, with tension held on the rope using their magic. This was Jacoby's 'cunning plan.' In theory, they would only need to apply a bit more force, and the rocket would be easily winched up to die Trauer Stern's belly, at which point Jacoby would tie knots and secure it in place until he was ready to release it. Now that they had it setup and ready for the task, however.... "Twilight's right, Jake," Skitch said in agreement, "I'm not trying to doubt your skills as an engineer or anything, but this has 'Bad End' written all over it." "Ladies, don't worry," called the griffon from the airship's deck. "I know it looks unorthodox, but this is a good plan, based on sound principles of engineering. It's completely safe." As if reacting to his words, a small stone came streaking down from the heavens and ricocheted off one of the pulleys, causing it to slip free suddenly. The rope stretched from it struck Jacoby in the chest, somehow binding up his legs and wings (a mystery that, years later, would remain unsolved) and throwing him over the side of the airship. His fall was immediately arrested and he began slowing down. Moments later, he realized to his great concern that he was slowing down because the assembly worked; the sudden movement had begun lifting the rocket up just as he predicted, even if the unicorns had been startled into dropping their spells. In mere moments, however, the rocket would lose the fight with gravity and fall again, and that would transfer a great deal of kinetic energy into him through additional movement: At the bottom of his fall, where he stopped mere inches above the ground, he was essentially riding on a gigantic rubber band. “This was a mistake." The rocket fell and the lifting assembly sprung back, flinging Jacoby Flynn, still bound up in rope and unable to fly, into the air on a ballistic arc like a bullet that could scream in self-soiling terror. Skitch and Twilight could only stare in mouth-gaping horror as Jacoby went crashing right through the roof of the barn with no small around of noise. Several seconds passed before either of them were able to collect their wits enough to streak towards the barn themselves at a full gallop. “Jake!” The barn doors flew opened. Skitch hadn’t even bothered using magic; a swift buck had done the job just fine. A look around didn’t reveal much more than clouds of dust and hay floating around in the dimness. “Jake, where are you?” At once, she hurried inside, her horn lighting up with magic, with Twilight immediately following her in and likewise producing light to dispel the gloom. “Jake?” “Mister Flynn?” Twilight asked weakly. And then, she saw it. “Over there!” Skitch turned to see her companion hurrying over to a pile of rubble that consisted mainly of wooden planks and bits of tin of the exact sort on the barn’s roof. “Jake, are you under there?” she asked as she trotted over. “My clavin….” said the debris pile weakly. “Well, this is great,” Skitch said with an irritated huff, “Now, we’re down one of our brightest minds, and we’ll have to fix the barn. Oooh! A pox on that Count and our supposed friends! I’ll bet they’re having the time of their lives upon Canterlot." Milliseconds after that… Rarity couldn’t be certain exactly when anything went down. Neither could Rainbow Dash or Spike. But something had gone down, whenever it was that it went down. One moment, a rather stallions had leapt from the shadows, intent on mugging them. The moment after that, that same stallion was unconscious on the ground, and Hänsel was gingerly rubbing his knuckles. It all happened so fast even Rainbow Dash didn’t have time to get her hits in before it was all over. “Oh my… Your Excellency!” the unicorn shouted, rushing to the griffon. “Are you alright?” “Ja, fräulein,” he answered, returning to a normal, casual stance. Immediately, however, he raised his right talon off the ground. “But if ve could find a cup of ice, I zink it vould be best to do zat. Zis, gentlestallion? Ja, gentlestallion, he has a very zick skull.” “Yes, of course.” Without wasting so much as a moment, Rarity leaned into Hänsel’s side, and he happily accepted the support she offered, now that he had only three good feet. “There’s a café not far from here. Ice should be a simple order for them. Oh, I do hope nothing's broken.” As unicorn and griffon walked away, Rainbow Dash and Spike continued to stare at the three stallions that Hänsel had so easily dispatched. After a moment, Spike shook free of his daze and gave chase. “Wait! Shouldn’t we at least call a guard or something? Or maybe an ambulance?" Rainbow Dash, however, continued to stare, running over the encounter in her head several more times. Finally, she shook herself out of her daze and took to the air to rejoin the others. Maybe this Hänsel guy was kind of cool after all, if a bit quick to start throwing punches. Back at the ranch… Jacoby groaned as lavender light filled the barn, debris carefully floating off of him in Twilight’s magical grasp. While she dealt with that, Skitch busied himself checking on the griffon. “He looks pretty hurt, Twilight,” she said, “We really should get him to the hospital….” She trailed off as additional groaning came not from Jacoby, but from the support structure of the barn. “Twilight? Any chance you could-“ And then the whole thing collapsed. Even much more later… Night was beginning to descend on Ponyville by the time those on the excursion to Canterlot finally returned, saddlebags and satchels filled with acquisitions of clothing (what little there was that caught their interest), but also some hard cheeses, two bottles of fine, red wine, and even a box of coarsely ground ‘black lava salt’ which Hänsel fully intended to use for cooking as soon as he was able to (that he could cook at all came as a surprise to Rarity, who was impressed that a noble would bother with it at all, as well as to Spike and Rainbow Dash, who were impressed that a noble could even grasp the core concept of cooking, although that assumption may have been unfairly biased due to past events). As they walked further into Sweet Apple Acres, Hänsel cast an appraising glance to die Trauer Stern once they were close enough, and smile widely. “Ah, as I zought, zey vere perfectly able to raise up ze rocket. Wunderbar. Zis vill put Herr Flynn’s mind at great ease. Or, at greater ease zan it has been, at least.” “They actually got that thing up there?” Rainbow Dash asked nocreature in particular, disbelief evident in her voice. “Wow! Flynn must be pretty smart. I’ll bet something that big took him and Twilight like, all day to figure out! Heh, hope Skitch isn’t the jealous type.” “Now, Rainbow Dash, that is hardly fair,” Rarity said scoldingly, “If you’re going to tease the poor dear, you should at least have the sense to do it when she can hear you. Where’s the fun, otherwise?” “Well, I think I see ‘em up on the front porch,” Rainbow Dash replied, flitting through the air and around to Rarity’s side, “So why don’t we just go on over and then tease her?” “I still say we should’ve called an ambulance for that guys,” Spike said, trying to redirect the conversation while balancing several of Rarity’s (and one of Hänsel’s) bags on his back, “I mean, I’m sure the guards will, but he got clobbered pretty good. He could really be hurt!” After a moment, Spike realized that the other three had gone on ahead without him and probably not heard a word he’d just said. With a frustrated stomp, he hurried after them, managing to keep all the bags from falling over with a level of skill possessed only by a superb assistant or professional henchdrake. The approach went smoothly enough. But it was when the quartet arrived that things took a turn south. All four of them did a double-take, Rainbow Dash actually having to land because her wings stopped working. Things had clearly not gone well in their absence. Fur and feathers alike were smeared with dirt and grease. Jacoby’s chest and talons were wrapped in bandages and one hind leg was splinted. The fact that he was no longer wearing any pieces of his suit, which he was loath to do even during physical labor, seemed to suggest that all of them were far beyond saving. Skitch had what looked like a black eye that was not content with its size or shape and had expanded to cover almost half of her face with a bruise visible even under her fur. No less than twenty bandaids scattered about her body spoke to various nicks and cuts she had somehow obtained. Twilight almost looked OK, save from some charring on the tip of her horn. Or she did, until it became clear that somehow the colors of her coat and mane had become switched around and jumbled, and while the result was probably not painful, it did look extremely goofy. “By Celestia’s gilded hoofshoes!” Rarity exclaimed, “What on earth happened to you all?” “Nothing!” shouted all three at once. The urgency in their voices and manic look in their eyes indicated that they may have been lying. Not that anycreature was about to say anything about that. “Vell, it’s good to see zat you vere able to get ze rocket attached to die Trauer Stern,” Hänsel said instead. “I zink zat ve should celebrate viz a large dinner, und perhaps some vine as vell, alzough perhaps ze zree of you should have ze vine now?” The silent, smoldering glares that were prompted by that particular remark were more than enough to convince Hänsel, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Spike that rather than waiting for an explanation, they should simply go inside of the Apple family house. They did so in record time.