My little Joshie: Forte is magic
By Bendelsohn
Forte walked down the cold streets of Ponyville. It had been an average day, with nothing in particular to comment on. His job was boring beyond belief, but he had one thing to look forward to when he got home- his beautiful marefriend. The rainbow-maned pony waited for him just about a block away in their small home.
Rainbow dash had been with him for around six months, and they had been the best of his life. He completely admired the way she flew, talked, acted, and almost everything else that she had ever done. He didn’t know where he would be without her. He smiled with excitement as he turned to enter the house.
He opened the door, but didn’t see her anywhere around at first. Since that probably meant she was still in the bedroom, he decided to go up and surprise her. He slowly and quietly ascended the stairs. He tried to stifle a laugh as he approached the bedroom door. It opened silently.
“Hi honey, I’m ho- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”
2 figures shot awake from the bed. One of them was Rainbow Dash. The other was none other than John Lennon. Rainbow Dash was stammering.
“Please wait no! I- I can explain!”
“YOU AND LENNON BOTH HAVE SOME FUCKING EXPLAINING TO DO BEFORE I BEAT THE HELL OUT OF BOTH OF YOU!”
The beatle got out of bed. He gave a smug look to Forte and walked up to him.
“Sorry mate, but there isn’t much explaining to do.” he said in a thick Liverpool accent. “You couldn’t keep your poor mare satisfied. Simple as that. Try not to feel too bad about it. I’ve got some joints in the back if it’ll make you feel any better.” John proceeded to walk to a nearby desk to put on his circular glasses.
“I DO NOT WANT YOUR FUCKING WEED! I WANT TO NEVER SEE YOUR SEXY ENGLISH FACE AGAIN! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUUUUUUUEL!” Forte used his wings to open his saddle bags. He took 2 things out of them: a duel disk, and his deck. John Lennon only kept smiling at this.
“Do you really think you can beat me, the great John Lennon, to a duel? I’ll have you know, Manson didn’t lose it on his own, I just mind crushed him. I can do that you know. I suppose it’s your call though.” He shuffled through the desk and found an old duel disk inside. He took his deck from his pocket and the match began.
It did not last a very long time. Forte, being a pony, could not hold his hand in such a way that it could not be seen easily. John Lennon quickly obliterated him, and sent him to the shadow realm. Everything went dark around Forte as he fell into the non-lethal version of card game hell.
He rubbed his head with a hoof as he awoke in the dreary plane. The world around him seemed to be made of solid darkness. He tried to call out to anypony else who might be there.
“Help! I need somepony! Help! Not just anypony! Can anypony get me out of here?” As he yelled, he noticed a figure in the distance. He seemed to have a lare frame, with a blue shirt and pants, as well as a red helmet. He approached the strange figure.
“Excuse me, can you help me g-”
“YES!”
“What?”
The figure turned around, revealing himself to be the famous racer known as Captain Falcon.
“Who are you?”
“CAPTAIN FALCON! SHOW ME YA MOVES!” Forte did a quick little confused jig. The Captain was obviously not impressed.
“FALCON....”
“Ugh, what do you want now?
“PAWNCH!”
And with that, Forte went flying into the depths of the shadow realm while John Lennon and Rainbow dash banged each other silly in the surface world. Forte flew through the skies at an alarming rate, his face in great pain from being punched by a burning fist. Still, all he could think about was killing John Lennon and then doing Rainbow Dash until she screamed. A rage induced boner flew from his haunches. This quickly betrayed him as it nicked a cliff edge. Forte’s suffering only continued. He continued tumbling through the air at high velocity for several minutes until he remembered that he was a Pegasus and could land any time he wanted.
When he landed, he saw a figure levitating above the ground. It was none other than Ringo Star. Forte was highly cautious, when he shouted “JESUS CHRIST IT’S RINGO STAR! THE OBVIOUS BEST OF THE BEATLES!” He was quite sure he had been fairly stealthy, but Ringo had highly tuned senses. He turned around to ace Forte.
“Ah, another that has been banished by Lennon?”
“Yes. Ringo.”
“Then you were not prepared to face him. I can train you in the ways of children’s card games. You must be a master in order to defeat my band mate. Are you prepared to endure months of extreme conditioning and mental exercises for your ultimate training?”
Forte looked at him for a moment. “LOL, FUCK THAT! TEACH ME NOW!”
“Ugh, fine. I never get to do the months of training thing anymore.”
And then Ringo punched Forte in the face with the fist of knowledge and suddenly, he felt like an amazing duelist. He looked at is deck and thought “Wow, this crazy bullshit actually makes sense now!”
Ringo simply replied “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now go kick Lennon’s ass or something.”
So Forte flew back up out of the shadow realm and into reality. Of course, he did reappear in a cave around a hundred meters below his house, filled with creepers and spiders. It took quite a bit of digging to return to the surface. When he did, he saw something similar to what he had earlier that day. Rainbow Dash looking exhausted, and John Lennon looking like a complete boss in bed next to her. He turned to Forte.
“You again? You serious? You want me to kick your ass a second time?”
Forte said nothing, but only took his deck from his bags. He then proceeded to open the deck, revealing a small gun hidden inside. He shot John Lennon, and killed him. Then he turned to Rainbow Dash. He gave her a very strange looking grin.
He was of course, unable to do anything to her because the police arrived after they heard the gunshots. He was promptly arrested and soon after executed by Princess Trollestia. Rainbow Dash stayed with Celestia for a while, but was sent to Molestia for therapy and was never heard from again. The end.