Chapter 10--Trixie
The next day, I was enjoying a nice walk through town when who should run past but a certain two young unicorns that were well known for causing trouble. Their names were Snips and Snails. I figured it would be the responsible thing to see what they were up to so I followed them to the town circle--that’s what I’m calling it from now on because it really isn’t a square and I despise deceptive names. As it turned out, there was a pony giving a magic show. And of course Twilight and her friends were being judgey judgemental judgeypants--dammit, Pinkie’s getting to me-- and didn’t like the ‘boasting’ that the pony was apparently doing. She didn’t like their judging so she handled it like any good showman would and challenged those hecklers to show their stuff.
AJ stepped up first and did some rope tricks. The ‘Great and Powerful Trixie’ one-upped that by hog-tying AJ, complete with an apple in the mouth. Dash went next, pulling off some aerial stunts and creating a rainbow above herself with water gathered from the clouds. Trixie topped that by tying her up with the rainbow because that’s apparently possible. Next was Rarity who did some sort of fashion thing. Trixie simply turned Rarity’s hair an ugly shade of green and she ran off crying about her hair. Then it was my turn. I walked up onto the stage and just said, “There, beat that.”
“Trixie doesn’t understand.” God, I hate people that speak in the third person about themselves. “What is The Great and Powerful Trixie meant to best you at.”
“Well, there’s a few things. There’s walking on two legs, there’s being a human, there’s taming a manticore, and of course there’s fucking being alive for billions of years.”
“Trixie will admit she is not able to do things that require a different form, but taming a manticore is nothing compared to taming and Ursa Major.”
“Twilight, what’s an Ursa Major?”
“It’s a dreaded creature as large as a mountain with claws sharper than anything.”
“Huh. Well, I guess you beat me there but you still can’t do all my humanness.”
“That is true. Shall we call it a draw?”
“Eh, fair enough. But you have no proof of vanquishing this Ursa Major so, make of that what you will.”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie has no need to prove anything. She doesn’t need to prove that she is the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria!”
“Whatever.” I left to go back to doing fuck all.
However, it seemed that the troublesome two wanted proof as well. Snips and Snails decided that they would go get an Ursa Major and set it upon the town for Trixie to vanquish. So, there I was trying fruitlessly to get rid of the Ursa that Trixie had failed to vanquish because she was a total fraud. I used Qene to fly up near its head and tried shooting its eyes with my crossbow but I still haven’t perfected the aim on it and it’s really hard to aim when you’re on a flying manticore anyways. So the bolts hit a little high and that just pissed it off even more. And then the day was saved when Twilight used her OP magic to put the beast to sleep and floated it back to its cave.
Snips and Snails tried to run away but They were stopped by Twilight. “So, I hear you two are the one’s that brought the Ursa here.”
“Yeah,” Snips said. “We just wanted to see some awesome magic and you showed us that.” Twilight gave them the death stare. “We deserve whatever punishment you give us.”
“Well, for starters, you can clean up this mess. And, what do you think, Spike, should I give them number twenty-five?”
“Twenty-five? Oh, yes. And I think I deserve it too.”
Many ponies and I gave sounds of confusion at that. Twilight stood before the three of them and her horn lit up. When her magic was done, Snips Snails, and Spike all had mustaches. I landed next to them all.
“What about you, Síor? Would you like one too?”
“Nah, I prefer to grow mine the old fashion way, besides, I don’t trust magic and I don’t want anything I don’t trust on my face.”
“Suit yourself. Shall we head back to the library?”
“Sure, it’s late and you need to sleep.”
“So do you.”
“Yeah, yeah. I want to look at something first.”
“Fine.”
We walked back to the library and I parked Qene in the garage before setting about looking for that small piece of information I remember reading. The entire situation today seemed way to familiar. I quickly found what I was looking for. Celestia had sent me the journal of Clover the Clever, her cousin who traveled with Floriana and Animia on their journey to find the Stones of Power. I flipped through it until I got to the part I was looking for: Pie Town. The group had gone into Pie Town to find the Laughter Stone and they had to beat The Great and Comical Trixter in a comedy contest. The reason I was looking for this particular entry is because the events with Trixie sounded much to similar. I then flipped to a later entry that I remembered about their expedition into the Lusitano Caves where they met the Lusitano Mistress. The Mistress talked about how each of the previous owners of the Stones were a part of the Cult of Random Shady Nachos I. Most fucktarded name I’ve heard. One of those previous owners was the very same Trixter from Pie Town. The events today and the events 1000 years ago were very similar, even the names were almost the same. Surely it couldn’t be a coincidence. It made me wonder if this Cult was still around. And if it was, perhaps Trixie was a member. This gave me something to look into.
Discord again.
Trixie was in fact a part of my Cult. Of course she was a new member. Most of the members now were new members. The only original member that still lives is the Doctor. But I digress. Trixie was sent to Ponyville to observe the friendships of what Celestia is calling the Element Bearers, Twilight and her little friends. I am allowing the belief they have of their control of the Elements remain because I have a purpose for it later on. Anyways, I sent trixie to spy on them because there was only so much I could gain from my presence in Síor’s head. Of course he didn’t know I was there. How could he, I’ve been there since he was born. I’m the one that drove his passion for physics that led him the CERN where he could use the stasis chamber to survive until I needed him awake. But I’m getting off track. Trixie was sent to spy for me but she was not supposed to put on a show. Though I suppose that was a good way to test how well they stood up for each other but that’s not what I wanted to know.
When she ran from Ponyville to hide in the outskirts of the town, I visited her in her dreams.
“Master, to what do I owe the honor?” she asked.
“You owe the honor to your own failure. I sent you to see how strong their friendship was and you put on a show.”
“I’m sorry, Master. I’ll do better next time.”
“Yes you will because next time, you’ll have me with you. I won’t be stuck in stone forever so when I break free, I will help you to make sure you do it right. But until then, I can’t allow you to return to Ponyville so I am moving your house to an uncharted forest.”
“I’m sorry, Master.”
“And I will need to find a new servant to do my bidding. The Doctor is too conspicuous and all my other new members can’t be seen by Síor yet. I’ll have to find some fresh meat to send. But that can wait. Right now, I need to give you your punishment.”
“I deserve whatever you have for me.”
“Yes. Until you learn to carry out my orders rather than showing off your magic, I am going to take your horn. I will give it back when I send you back to Ponyville. That seems like a fitting punishment.” She just laid there sobbing about the missing horn atop her head. “Get ahold of yourself! You are a servant of Discord, not a water fountain. Enough with the tears. I will visit you again when you are ready.”
I left and went back to observing the world through my many spies.