Celestia's hooves pounded against the unrelenting bedrock as she began to run, faster than she had ever done so in her life. Her lungs instantly caught on fire from exertion, but she could burn to a crisp for all she cared. History would not repeat itself. She would run until it killed her. She would run now, unlike before, when being late had cost her everything.
Celestia leisurely walked through the castle hallways, now bathed in silvery moonlight. Despite it being so late at night (pulling late-night shifts was now becoming an all too usual occurrence), the princess still stifled a yawn and continued to keep her graceful composure, even though her thoughts were anything but calm and collected.
Through the backlog of all the political stress she had to deal with, worries about Luna managed to push themselves into the forefront of Celestia’s mind. Luna wouldn’t be mad about the cancellation, would she? Perhaps she’d be a trifle irritated at first, but once Celestia explained the situation, everything would neatly resolve itself like always. Besides, it wasn’t as though a meteor shower cancellation was of any major importance. Unlike that press conference… or that new trade policy… or her diplomatic visit to Saddle Arabia next week…
With qualms about Luna put at ease, her duties as princess once again flooded her mind, with each newly occurring problem like a flashing red light in her head, all of them pressing issues clamoring for attention.
Unable to ignore them any longer, Celestia rerouted her steps, heading not towards the Lunar Tower but the Solar Tower, where stacks of paperwork surely awaited her. Just the thought of curling up with a cup of hot chocolate and doing some light paperwork by the fireside filled the princess with instant comfort—
But… but Luna…
Ooh, and it would help her get ahead on her duties, too! With that extra time freed up, she’d have the chance to attend that Canterlot Garden Party she had always been too busy to make. Why, they’d simply fawn over her when she would arrive—!
But Luna…
Yes, yes, of course, Luna would just have to wait. Tilting her nose so high into the air that her neck nearly snapped, Celestia ascended the spiraling tower staircase with newly invigorated pride, as she lost herself in daydreams of the highest nobles in Canterlot crowding eagerly around her, desperate for attention, the very same kind Celestia herself craved. It was in the sun’s nature to be put on a spotlight, was it not? The more she entered that fantasy, the more the hands of time seemed to tick all the more slowly.
Too slowly. Celestia swiveled her head around to face the window, portraying a peaceful night sky with a scattering stars and a gleaming full moon. It was nearly midnight; surely the moon should be higher in the sky by now?
Celestia’s heart dropped in her chest. This was extremely dangerous. Celestial bodies needed to be consistently guided through the sky; failing to do so could potentially disrupt the entire cycle of day and night. And it wasn’t as if Luna had forgotten, either. Her link to the moon should have alerted her when it was time, with a persistence as irritating as a thousand ringing alarm clocks. The only reason Luna would ignore such a powerful mental force was…
Thoughts of peace and comfort gone, Celestia broke into a full-on gallop up the stairs to her chambers. She had to get to her balcony where she could fix the moon first, then check on Luna, as much as she wanted to switch around those priorities. It had to be her ponies first.
Celestia’s blood chilled in her veins with fear, making her snow white face sickly pale. Her ethereal mane fluttered like a wild tempest behind her with a frenzy that would have blown her crown off if it had not been securely held there, chained to the princess as a constant reminder of the burden that came with power. A princess had no time to laugh. A goddess couldn’t afford to love.
Even if it came at the cost of her only sister.
There were no guards outside her room. Another concerned alarm sounded in her mind. With an impatient flick of golden magic, the doors to her chambers were thrown wide, revealing a clear path to the balcony and the stationary moon above. However, Celestia hadn’t even taken a single step inside before she reeled backwards, her magenta eyes wide in horror.
It wasn’t the trampled banners, the disorganized papers, or the general disarray of her private sanctum. No, these details were only noticed later, across the span of several centuries, as the immortal princess reflected what had happened that tragic night so long ago. She may have thought of it several times a day, when the stinging pain was reduced to a dull, throbbing ache, but the jolt of shock was always the same. Fresh, piercing, and unforgettable.
Celestia’s heart stopped when she saw her sister reading her diary, with crazed and bloodshot eyes.
The helpless, broken look Luna gave Celestia when she walked in was an almost unbearable wound, but one of many that would assault her heart that night. For a single moment, the sisters were completely silent, as the eyes of the accuser locked with those of the guilty, although this time, the one caught in the act was not the sinner. Wary magenta met grieving sapphire. The look in Luna’s eyes spoke many truths, ones of hurt, of grief, of confusion and bitterness.
But above all, it spoke of betrayal.
Finally, Luna found her voice. “Is this true?” she asked, her voice brittle and raspy as she attempted to hold back tears.
There was no need for clarification. “L-Luna, I…” Celestia stammered. “I… pl-please, sister, you have to understand—“
“Is it?!” Luna screamed, terrifying her elder sister into submission.
“Yes,” Celestia breathed as she bent her head in shame. “Yes, it is. I’m ashamed to say it, but it is. But Luna, what you have to understand is that I never meant to hurt you or our sisterhood by what I—“
“Oh, just stop it, Celestia!” Luna cried, her eyes igniting with a fiery rage that not even her own freely dripping tears could quell. “Just stop with your lies for once! I would have thought I could trust the Bearer of Honesty, but I suppose you decided to throw all your Elements out the window! Because I daresay you haven’t been particularly open with me, what with your marvelous celebration coming up!”
At this point, Luna had slammed the diary shut and stood up, facing Celestia, planting her hooves firmly on the floor as she glared angrily from the opposite end of the room. Even with her wings flared in her wrath, Luna was still far smaller than Celestia. Nevertheless, Celestia shrank before the imposing form, feeling ever so small and insignificant.
“Oh yes, I know about it,” Luna continued, eyes narrowed in snake-like slits as she approached Celestia. “When a guard came here asking for you, he so admirably informed me of your lovely ‘Summer Sun Celebration.’” Bitterness stung in every word as Luna accented the title of the occasion and watched as the hostility cut into Celestia like shards of ice. “A festival that just so happens to coincide with my meteor shower. Sister, how could you?”
There it was again. Even in unbridled hate, there was that sign of hurt and suffering, a pain that cut deep into them both. Celestia looked up into Luna’s crazed eyes and cried. There was no sister there. That chance had been lost a long time ago.
“I may be worthless to you, Celestia, but I have a heart!” Luna screamed. “If you want, I can rip it out and show you, since it probably wouldn’t hurt nearly as much as what I’m feeling now! You could have talked to me, at least consulted me, but I suppose such things are beneath the high and mighty Princess Celestia!”
The princess levitated one of the fallen tapestries, the nation’s flag depicting her and Celestia circling the sun and moon. “You may not realize it, but Equestria isn’t just ruled by yourself! Just because I’m not the center of all those press conferences and high-class balls doesn’t mean I’m any less important! Even if you brush me off to the side, at some point you have to acknowledge that I exist, that I am actually alive! I AM NOT DEAD YET! I WON’T LET YOU FORGET ME! LOOK AT ME, AND SEE THAT I’M STILL HERE!”
Celestia felt her knees begin to tremble. Luna did not possess a spirit of hatred. Even when they disagreed, Luna would merely pout and whine until comforted; she had never been this confrontational before. This was a side to her sister that Celestia had never seen before.
“Luna, stop,” Celestia ordered. “You’re being unreasonable.”
Celestia eyed her sister warily, certain she was about to explode again, when Luna paused and took a deep, calming breath. “You’re right, Celestia,” she said in a controlled, dangerously composed tone. “I am being unreasonable. Everything I need to know can be answered with one simple question.
“Would you be better off if I was dead?”
No, Celestia wanted to scream. No, no, no! But that simple, two-letter word simply wouldn’t come. Her guilty eyes slid to her forgotten diary, where all her true thoughts lay. All the meetings Luna had missed, all the times she had embarrassed herself in front of nobles, and all the moments Celestia had wished to erase it all, not for Luna’s sake, but because it tarnished her own reputation. All the screaming matches in court, the demands to have their chambers in the farthest away towers possible; those weren’t signs of friendship. Those weren’t the sisters who had grown together, who only fought evil together, and who had faced the greatest forms of chaos only to find solace in their sisterhood.
It boiled down to something simple, really. As a sister, Luna was her greatest strength. As the princess of Equestria, Luna was her ultimate weakness.
The question was, who was she?
It was a question Celestia couldn’t answer.
The silence was enough for Luna. “I see,” she said bitterly, angry tears welling in her eyes that begged for a different answer, one that Celestia couldn’t give. “Well, you just made this a whole lot easier.”
Then a dark lightning bolt struck Celestia straight in her breaking heart.
Her mind raced to catch up with this sudden turn of events, but even it was not fast enough as Luna's spell sent her crashing into the adjacent wall. Instantaneously, pain blossomed as black and blue flowers beneath her fur and sent stabbing needles dancing along her bruised skin. Celestia paused for a second, wondering about the absurdity of the situation, of how she had ended up dazed, confused, and sprawled on the ground. She barely had time to formulate the thought, however, when a pair of navy blue hooves struck her in the chest, leaving her gasping for breath. But oxygen was now in rare commodity as Luna wrapped her forehooves around her sister’s neck in an attempt to strangle her.
There was no confusion now. Celestia looked up into her sister’s eyes, now mad with grief. It was like staring into a shattered mirror, a window to the soul blown apart as its contents threatened to explode.
“There can only be one princess in Equestria!” Luna screamed, her words reverberating in history for centuries to come. “And that princess will be me!”
“I never wanted to hurt her.”
The words came out of nowhere, snapping Celestia out of her memory. She had been lost for quite some time now, running blindly in the general direction of the Nightmare Creatures. Now, her breath was ragged from exhaustion, her aching muscles screamed in pain, and most of all, now cautious curiosity was getting the better of her again. All were good reasons for Celestia to slow to a walk and tentatively head toward the voice, a voice her heart would recognize anywhere.
“I never wanted to hurt her,” Luna said again. “I was just so hurt myself that I couldn’t take it, that I needed to hurt somepony else. As if that ever helped anything. As if that’d get me anywhere close to redemption.”
As Celestia edged forward, she could just make out the quiet sniffles of Luna’s tears. “You know, when I first returned to Equestria, I was hoping, praying that she would hate me. You would think that would be just something to expect from the pony you tried to murder, but… not with her. I knew that my Celestia could never truly hate me, even though she would be stupid not to.
“I… I think that’s why I lost it when I read her diary. It tore me up to read those words and know that all of it was true. All the anger and hate written there was what I deserved. All the love she gave me… it couldn’t go on, not when she had to lie about her feelings. I couldn’t rely on her mercy anymore. I couldn’t bear the thought that I was so… useless compared to her.”
“I… I remember the last thing I said to her,” Luna lamented, “and I was right about one thing. There can only be one true princess in Equestria. But it was never meant to be me. Only one of us could have that honor, that kind of joy. When wishing for somepony’s happiness, somepony else has to pay in equal sorrow to keep the balance. That’s just the way the universe works. And… And if that means sacrificing myself for her, then I would gladly pay the price. A thousand of my tears are worth a single one of her smiles.
“That’s what my cutie mark represents. Not power or love or grace like Sister. I was destined to stand aside, to let my heart become as desolate as this moon, and pray for her glory instead. All I am is a warning, a story used to frighten little fillies into obedience. I was meant to be feared, not loved. You can’t love a nightmare; that would go against the moral of the story. Wickedness can’t go unpunished. I know the price I have to pay, and I know I’ll keep paying until the day I die. I understand that now.”
That was enough for Celestia. She needed to see what was going on. With a golden burst of magic, she cast a spell upon her eyes that allowed them to peer through the darkness as if seeing in broad daylight. Instantly, the light brought every silhouette into sharp relief. Like a spotlight amidst the gloom, it rained down light on Luna, now diminutive and filly-like without her magic. Around her swirled the shadowy Creatures of the Nightmare Dreamscape, swooping like wraiths to surround the defenseless alicorn, who was hiding her face in her hooves. Every so often one of them would hiss something in Luna’s ear, words that Celestia would never have been able to make out, even if she had been standing right beside her. Those fears were only known to Luna’s own heart.
“I never wanted this,” Luna cried. “I never could have imagined this. It’s all too much. The payment’s been done, so please, just take it all away. Erase my heart and make me forget myself, just as the world has forgotten me.”
The Nightmare Creatures only swirled faster in response, soon forming an impenetrable wall of darkness around the lunar princess. She never did love you, did she? they mocked as they continued to circle around her. You were never meant for love, only empty loneliness. Isolation is your destiny. To think you could ever stand before the sun in all her perfect glory with all your mistakes. You were nothing but a burden, something to drag her down. To think the world would remember a useless thing like you, too caught up with daytime’s necessity to even give a second glance to the beauty of the night. Silly, foolish girl, to think you could be needed. You belong with us. Foolish, lonely, useless, foolish, lonely, useless child!
“Make me forget,” Luna cried out in desperation to the nightmares. “Please, just make me forget!”
No, the nightmares replied. We will make you relive it all.
“Luna!” Celestia screamed as she charged the wall of nightmares, only to be pushed back by their sheer density, materialized by Luna’s fragile mental state. Her fear was what made them real. And still, Celestia kept fighting, firing beams of light at the phantoms, who simply reflected the spells back on the castor. Soon, her resplendent white fur was covered in angry burns, but she still persisted, ramming her broken and battered body at the wall with decreasing strength, until three Nightmare Creatures finally broke free from the horde and pinned her down.
“No!” came the strangled cry from Celestia as she struggled in vain against the nightmares. “No, I won’t let you take her away from me again! If you want her, it'll be over my dead body!” Darkness crept up the corners of her eyes as she began to black out, and her screams for Luna soon became screams of pain. Now fully corporeal, the Nightmare Creatures didn’t hesitate to grind Celestia to a pulp. Yanking her ethereal mane, they repeatedly bashed her head against the cold, hard, unrelenting ground. She was dimly aware of blood trickling from her temple as the world swam before her eyes. Somewhere in the beating, her crown had been knocked off. Celestia was fine with that. It had only ever caused her pain.
Celestia kicked and thrashed about wildly to fight off her assailants, but to no avail. When all her energy had finally been sapped, the phantoms hurled her limp body far away from Luna and into the moondust, where the sun princess lay still.
Tears blurring her eyes, Celestia weakly lifted her head inches off the ground to see Luna being consumed by the nightmares. She wanted to scream, to stand, to show some kind of resilience, but only her soul could cry out as she bore witness to her worst nightmare made manifest.
Luna was falling prey to Nightmare Moon once again.
Celestia’s eyes fell on the words written on the moonscape. I was truly blind, wasn’t I? Celestia lamented. How could I have not noticed this before? I was supposed to be able to read my sister’s heart; it shouldn’t have had to bleed for me to understand. All the anger and hate she had bottled up inside… well, I guess we were both good at that, weren’t we? Equestria needed a princess, but we needed friendship even more.
Celestia turned her head to the fallen orb of Luna’s magic. It was strange, but so much of Luna seemed to reside in there. It pulsated with a gentle, beautiful glow, so much unlike the raw, volatile power of the sun. But that was Luna, going unappreciated in the shadows as she tried to protect the ponies she loved, even from herself. Even now, the orb hummed insistently, brimming with the spell that could teleport Celestia home.
I’m sorry, Luna, but you’re always going to be my home.
“Oh Luna,” Celestia wept. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Crack!
“Huh?”
Sure enough, Celestia turned and saw a deep, jagged cut running through Luna’s magic. The alicorn’s eyes widened in alarm. She prepared to use telekinesis on the orb, when her horn brushed against the crack…
And out spilled a quiet explosion of Luna’s silvery magic, a magic which spread out like a spider’s web to encompass the entire moonscape. Celestia watched in awe as the fine, silk-like tendrils literally grabbed hold of the bedrock and, with a delicate complexity, rearranged the words of Luna’s thousand-year hatred into a new message, written in elegant yet shaky hoofwriting, and glowing with an aqua blue light of lunar magic. Then, resounding across the desolate moon, a quiet, somber voice began to speak:
My Dearest Sister Celestia,
I could begin with a million different introductions, but I fear that my time is already running short. Just as ponies pray for a spark of saving grace to cradle their final words, so too have the Elements of Harmony gifted me with a moment of clarity before I succumb to the Nightmare. I know not how or when these words will reach you, but I pray they do, for both our sakes. Thus, I have enchanted these words so that you might hear them when your heart is ready to forgive me, but more importantly, yourself for what happened tonight.
I… I understand what you have done and why, and I wish for you to know that despite your actions, I do not begrudge my blessings of happiness upon you. Even for immortals like us, a second spent in resentment is time ill-spent, and I fear that this banishment, how ever long it may be, will drive my life into unimaginable debt. As if I did not already owe you so much for being able to do what I could not, for being able to push aside your personal feelings and act in the better interest of Equestria. Even though it may not seem like such a blessing for either of us right now, I wish you to know that I am grateful for your mercy. By banishing me, you have spared my conscience the torment of shedding even more innocent blood in our war. I only regret that I cannot do the same for you.
Perhaps it may seem to your tender heart that my punishment is too high, too much to bear, but even as I look out onto the frozen horizon, onto the empty years I undoubtedly will have here, I believe it pales in comparison to your burden.
I know you, Celestia. Once you pick up the pieces of the mess I caused, you will have to return to your normal life of ruling Equestria and protecting it from harm. For what else can the nation’s guiding light be expected to do after such a crisis? You will hold the suffering ponies together, even while you yourself are breaking inside. You will heal the scars of the land, restore order after the war, and Equestria’s ponies will continue on as if my rebellion was nothing more than a nightmare.
But what of you, Celestia? For you are the one I fear for, my beloved sister. You have always been able to stand alone, and I have always been so weak, so useless compared to you. Still, I would like to imagine that even you need a shoulder to cry on at times, and… perhaps my banishment has affected you to that degree.
I know quite well, perhaps better than anypony, the damages negative emotions can have on a pony’s heart. My night was meant to be a symbol of peace, beauty, and love, but now that I have fallen to hatred, I fear that I myself embody quite the opposite. I can only hope that the mistakes I made will serve as a reminder to you, lest even you fall down the same dark path I now tread. I understand that you have every right to hate me, and I cannot hope for your mercy now, but please, Sister, if you ever loved me, I beseech you to not let that hatred control you. I do not deserve to have that kind of power over you.
I saw how the cruel world of politics locked you in isolation, but please, for your own sake, look past that. Open your heart and let the healing love of ponies close to you heal it. Remember to smile, to love, to laugh, but please, forget me, and all the horrible mistakes I made. I made my choice, and now there’s nopony to pay but me. Justice has been served, so let me go to the death of this moon and cast aside your guilt of the living. You are not to blame, Celestia. You never were.
And… I want you to know that wherever you go, you will always have my heart. Despite all the evil I committed and all the ways I hurt you, I hope you will come to understand that everything I have ever done has spawned from my love for you.
Rejoice, my sister, for by my defeat, you have been exalted. You need no longer be ashamed of me. Consider this, the first and last letter of my heart, as my tears which set you free. It is all I can give you now.
I may not have given you usefulness, my sister, but you will always have my useless love.
Your sister eternal,
Luna
Then just like that, the magical words flowed back into the orb, and the crack in Luna’s magic sealed once more, leaving Celestia sitting forlorn and lost as Luna’s message sank in.
“Why?” Celestia murmured. “Why? Why does she think she has to keep sacrificing herself for me? Luna, you expect too much from me. Even after all the times you rescued me, I’m still too weak to save you now.”
With tear-filled eyes, Celestia tilted her head back to gaze upon the remnants of Luna’s magic, a glittery silver dust that shone like a second layer of stars in the sky, only to gently fall like snowflakes. The sight was painstakingly beautiful, and a special, indescribable magic swept over Celestia as it fell over the moonscape, landed in her shimmering mane, and passed through the darkness of the Nightmare Creatures to shine like stars once more…
Wait. Luna’s magic had been able to penetrate the wall of nightmares, even when Celestia’s had not. Celestia turned to see the orb of Luna’s magic, and thus, the pieces fell into her golden window of opportunity.
Celestia levitated the orb over to her and gazed into its swirling depths, filled with that same indescribable magic. Peace. Beauty. Love. These are all found in Luna’s night. That’s what she was trying to show me all those centuries ago, even though I never bothered to look. But I understand it now.
At Celestia’s thoughts, the orb hummed with a sudden intensity, and in the same moment, she was struck with an idea. It was a crazy, stupid idea. Nothing like this had ever happened before, and the chances of failure were staggeringly high. But that was just it. They were chances. And with chances, there was always hope. Hope to make the impossible possible, and bring about a miracle.
The princess took a deep, steading breath as she heard the screeching of the Nightmare Creatures behind her. Celestia knew that somewhere amidst that howling, there were also the screams of her sister, and that could not be ignored. She had to act now.
With a loud cry, Celestia released her magic and shattered the orb.
Immediately on impact, the broken fragments rose in a mist to engulf Celestia with Luna’s power. She could feel the magic leaking into her, bubbling like laughter that lifted her spirit. Her body now exuded a halo of moonlight, and starlight gleamed in silver strands woven through her astral mane. Navy blue fire blazed at her wingtips to emit a ghostly aura. The flames pooled at her hooves and trailed upward, creating a mesmerizing pattern of swirls against her alabaster fur. Starlight shone through her cuts and bruises, making the princess a collage of mortal wounds and divine grace. She had now taken on the power of both sun and moon.
In any other situation, Celestia would have stopped to fully admire her transformation, but she hardly gave it a second glance in her urgency. It was borrowed beauty, and she was going to give it back.
The pain from merely standing was excruciating, but it had been resolutely pushed to the back of her mind as she galloped straight towards the Nightmare Creatures. No longer did she wish the strike down the phantoms with brute solar force; rather, she almost danced through the shadows, slipping through the cracks with the elusiveness of night, and in a moment of submission, let them grab her and pull her through. She watched as they seemed to part the way for her, only to seal into an impenetrable wall once more.
But the hardest part had only yet to come. Celestia was now presumably in the eye of the storm, but there was no calm or serenity to be found. For Luna was in the very center, wailing like a banshee, as the ghostly Nightmares literally passed through her, sending jolts of pain through her body. Each time, some of the shadows clung to her coat, turning her fur ever darker, her mane ever more ethereal. They began to yank on her legs, stretching the ligaments and tissues to the point of snapping, to make her taller in stature, rivaling even Celestia’s height. But worst of all were her eyes, brimming with tears and wide with fear. Celestia watched as her pupils dilated, forming snake-like slits…
“Luna!” Celestia screamed, running towards her sister. Not knowing what else to do, she threw her forehooves around Luna in a protective embrace as she convulsed in pain. “Get away from her!” Celestia screeched at the approaching Nightmares. But they disregarded the sun princess and continued to advance, flooding Luna with memories of all her painful mistakes, which she was now being forced to relive.
“Come on, Luna, look at me!” Celestia cried above the deafening howling of the circling Nightmare Creatures. “You can fight them, Luna! Please, come back to me! Open your eyes, and see that it’s all a dream!”
But Luna’s eyes were glazed and distant, trapped in the past, and her sister’s pleas fell on deaf ears. Her eyes began to roll back in her head, and blood began to froth from her mouth.
“No!” Celestia screamed, shaking Luna’s limp form. “No, you can’t do this again! You can’t leave me, not now! Please, let me save you!”
“I DO NOT WANT TO BE SAVED!” Luna screamed, jerking violently as the Nightmare began to take her mind.
“Oh Luna,” Celestia sobbed as the darkness of Nightmare Moon began to creep up her coat. “Please don’t do this. P-Please… I n-need you.”
“Lies,” Luna hissed. “You never needed me, or my night.” Roughly pushing Celestia aside, Luna arose, letting the Nightmares’ dark aura seep into her, until she opened her eyes, the eyes of a Nightmare herself. A new Queen of Nightmares stood before Celestia, reborn from anger like the former, only now it was not anger directed at others, but at her own self and own failings. There was no vengeance in her heart, only sorrow and grief.
And of course, insanity.
With those same crazed eyes, Nightmare Moon bent her head, pointing her horn straight at Celestia in preparation to fire a spell at her sister, who had already closed her eyes shut in pain. How could this be happening? Give her a few golden hours of hope, only to yank her back into her thousand-year nightmare? What kind of cruelty was that?
Enough, Celestia decided. She wasn’t going to endure this anymore. A life without Luna wasn’t worth living, not if it meant perpetual loneliness.
I’ve been living a nightmare, Celestia thought. Maybe death is just waking up.
Celestia squeezed her eyes tightly shut, bracing herself for the death blow, but it never came. Had it already happened, and was too quick for her to feel the pain? After eternal seconds of agonizing uncertainty, Celestia opened her eyes to find her surprise reflected equally in Nightmare Moon’s. For although her expression was screwed up in the utmost concentration of spellcasting, not so much as a spark of magic flickered from her onyx horn.
Of course. That was because Nightmare Moon had no more magic. Luna had given it to Celestia, knowing it would leave her dark self powerless, and thus completely at her sister’s mercy.
This was incredibly dangerous. Without a reserve of magic to center the corruption, it could easily lose control inside of Luna’s fragile form, resulting in… well, Celestia couldn’t even bear to think it. No longer was this a fight for Luna’s mind. Now, it was a fight for her very life.
The Nightmare Creatures knew it too. Without being able to draw power from Luna’s magic, and their very residence within her becoming ever more unstable, their hold on her flickered as she constantly switched back between Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna, giving Celestia her final window of opportunity.
There wasn’t much time. There was only one way, a desperate and crazy idea, Celestia could think of to bring her sister out of the Nightmare.
“Hold on, Luna,” Celestia cried to her sister, now trembling violently as Celestia cradled her in her hooves.
There wasn’t time to think. She couldn’t second guess herself. Throwing her last hope to the heavens, Celestia grabbed the nearest Nightmare Creature with her magic, then took her sister’s hoof and dragged it into the shadow.
Luna’s screams rose to glass-shattering high decibels. “No, no,” she whimpered as she drowned in the memory, “I don’t want to see this anymore.”
“Luna, it’s going to be fine, I promise you,” Celestia said. “Just hold on, okay? Don’t you understand now? None of what you’re seeing is real, my sister.”
Luna opened her eyes to see the shadows of the nightmare disperse, leaving nothing but glowing blue cytoplasm to shine through, a clear, bright, untarnished memory.
“Sister,” Luna breathed faintly.
“Yes, sister, you’re right,” Celestia murmured, clinging to her protectively. “You’re alright. I… I know it hurts, Luna, but you can’t keep living in the past. What’s done is done, and holding onto it is only going to make things worse. Fear will only cloud you. Accept memories for what they are, take their lessons, and let them go.”
Grimacing, Luna shakily drew her hoof from the memory, like pulling a dagger from a stab wound, and watched as it tumbled into ashes. Then, with tears streaming down her cheeks, Luna uttered loud, wrenching cry, spoken without words but bearing the weight of the millions of words she had carved into the moon over a thousand years. All the bottled up pain and anger that had plagued her now bled into that one cry, which resounded and rose to the heavens, where it belonged.
The sheer force of her yell was enough to blow away the smoke and shadows of the circling Nightmare Creatures. One by one, the darkness faded until the two sisters found themselves surrounded on all sides by the same peaceful blue aura of Luna’s memories, the same piercing color of her eyes.
“You said you didn’t want to be alone, Luna,” Celestia said, watching the sparks of blue light circle above them, “so let me in again. Let’s fix our mistakes and start over. My sweet, beloved sister, throughout all the centuries I have suffered without you, your mere memory was my greatest strength. I believe that life only sends us burdens we are strong enough to bear, and you are stronger than any pony I know. If anypony can fight this, it will be you.
“Remember that your past is not your future, Luna, not unless you make it so. We are not forced to walk a predestined path, but we must walk if we are to endure. Bury all the regrets and just keep walking until you return to me.”
Celestia looked down to see Luna slightly nod before she winced in pain at all the suppressed memories that were flooding into her. The sun princess’ gentle heart ached as she watched Luna slip deeper into her nightmare. Diamond tears leaked from the corners of her tightly shut eyes as she forced down a scream, but she still persisted, fighting for herself and the sister she loved. It was a moment Celestia would look back on with pain and pride for the rest of her life.
“Wake up, my little pony,” Celestia cried, her own tears dripping like falling stars to mingle with Luna’s. “It’s just a nightmare.”
Then Celestia let out a sigh, knowing that she could do nothing more. Though she would still remain with her sister, this was now Luna’s fight. So Celestia simply cradled Luna in her forehooves and stroked her mane soothingly, all the while whispering like a prayer:
“I love you, my sister, and I need you. I love you, my sister, and I remember you. I love you, my sister, and I forgive you.”
It could have been another thousand years for all Celestia knew or cared until she noticed the sapphire magic of Luna’s memories floating upward and dispersing like a million fireworks, only to reform into a million butterflies, with eyes of stars and wings of hearts. They flew higher, spiraling and rising to dance with the stars, until the whole sky was a mirage of shimmering blue. Sparkles trailed from their wingtips, acting like the finest paintbrushes to adorn the sky with newly born constellations. Silver strands branched the stars like a necklace chain, setting the entire world aglow in radiant light.
And Celestia looked up at it all, awestruck in wonder at the masterpiece she was so privileged to witness. To the ponies below, it was just another night sky, but to Celestia, it was so much more than that. She would have traded anything in the world to simply bottle up this moment and relive it her entire life.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Celestia looked down just as Luna flickered open her eyes, now filled with love and kindness once again.
Celestia made a small choking noise, halfway between a laugh and a cry, at the sight of those sapphire jewels shining again. Then, with a teary eyed smile, the almighty Princess of the Sun did something any dignified, respected, upstanding ruler would do.
She bawled like a newborn foal.
“Luna!” Celestia cried, flinging her forelegs around Luna’s neck in a death hug, causing poor little Luna to nearly topple over because of a mare twice her size. “How could you? How could you run off and leave me like that? Do you know how long I wandered around here looking for you? Well, I don't know either, but it was a really long time! Do you have any idea how terrified I was? Your life isn’t just your own, you know! The thought… of me losing you again… I just couldn’t… Lulu… I…”
“Shh, Tia, it’s alright,” Luna replied, her eyes wide open in surprise at her elder sister’s outburst. Uncertain of what else to do, she clumsily patted her sister on the back while Celestia let forth great, heaving sobs, complete with sniffles and puffy red eyes, as she clung to Luna for dear life. “Tia, I’m alright,” Luna murmured soothingly. “Everything’s fine. Hush now, there’s no need to cry.”
“But it’s not alright!” Celestia cried. “I… I almost lost you again! After all those awful centuries spent waiting for you to return, and it almost didn’t happen! Do you realize how much that hurts, Luna? You c-can’t just leave me like that, like you did a thousand years ago. You may have been the one banished, Luna, but that doesn’t mean you were the only one in pain! After you left, I started having nightmares about you! I was so scared of myself, wondering if my grief would transform me into a nightmare too. For the first few weeks, I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t do anything without thinking of you. How could I be expected to lead a country without you? How could I do anything when you weren’t at my side? I kept seeing you everywhere; I thought I was going insane. I actually had to have half a dozen guards come with me when I raised the moon to keep me from throwing myself off the balcony in my grief.
“And even after all the drama died down, the pain never really went away. It just became bittersweet, a dull ache that was both a burden and a treasure, because it was a reminder of you. I wouldn’t let myself stop working once in a thousand years because I knew I would just start thinking of you, as if I didn’t enough already. Luna, every second of every day of every century, every single moment of my life has been spent missing you. But now you’re here, and I… Please, don’t leave me again.”
“Of course, Celestia,” Luna murmured, feeling her fur dampen from her sister’s tears. “I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”
Luna held Celestia as a fresh wave of tears washed over her again. After letting out her own millennia worth of sadness, Celestia finally released her death grip on Luna and impatiently brushed aside her tears. “I’m sorry, Luna,” Celestia said. “I just needed to get that out.”
“I can imagine,” Luna answered. “I think we’ve both been in pain for a very long time.”
Celestia only nodded with a teary-eyed smile, her sobs steadily dying down into quiet little hiccups.
Luna took her sister’s hooves in hers. “Celestia, thank you for saving me. Because of you, my heart has been lighter than I can possibly remember. Closure, acceptance, a second chance… all of it is a gift far beyond what I ever imagined from anypony.
“But… it’s a gift I can’t accept.”
“What?” Celestia cried. “Luna, didn’t you hear any of what I just said?”
“Yes, and I understand. The last thing I ever want to do is leave you, now that my past has been laid to rest. But… who’s to say that my future won’t be just as dark? Celestia, I know much has changed over a thousand years, but one thing that has remained consistent is pony nature. Most ponies are mistrusting and unwilling to accept a reformed Nightmare Moon into their hearts. After the initial celebration, they will come to second guess you, me, us, and our entire nation. Equestria may not be able to survive that.
“And I… I still have as much potential for jealousy than I ever did. The release of the Nightmare Creatures does not change this. Most ponies still favor the sun over the moon. You have experienced for a thousand years the pain of being alone in a room full of ponies. I will not trade this isolation for another. I will not allow us to be hurt any more than we already are. And I… I can’t let you keep going around saving me. I won’t have you love me out of pity. I don’t want to constantly run around trying to please you, lest you take away your love. If I allow myself to live in that kind of fear, then the nightmares have already won.”
“You don’t need me, Celestia,” Luna said finally. “You never did, and now, here’s your proof.”
Celestia looked down at herself to realize she was still cloaked in Luna’s magic, while Luna had reverted to the form of a magicless filly. Embarrassed, Celestia let the lunar magic drain away from her, forming a shimmering orb, which she handed to Luna. Luna wordlessly took back her power and allowed it to enter her again, restoring herself to her pervious stellar majesty.
And yet, she still looked like the sad little filly from before, with her head drooping and her eyes darting back to see her crescent moon cutie mark, the symbol of her greatest talent, only to then shut her eyes tight in shame. She really does think she’s useless, doesn’t she? Celestia lamented.
After eternal seconds of silence, Celestia finally said, “Luna, come with me.”
Luna’s head jerked upright, startled. “What?”
“Come with me,” she repeated more firmly. “This time, I have something to show you.”
Luna was doubtful, but nevertheless, she let herself fall into step behind Celestia, as she led them across the desolate moonscape. At first, Luna believed Celestia had no intent destination, as she was merely walking in a straight line with little variance in her course, but after a while, she began to see a thin line form across the horizon. The line darkened and thickened, bending into a curve as it rose above the dead grey moonscape to reveal a world of vibrant blues and greens.
It had been proven hundreds of millennia ago by hundreds of scientists that the moon and the planet weren't flat, but Luna would have denied them all in that one instant if given the chance. For it felt as though she was standing on the very edge of the moon, with nothing but an empty freefall separating her from the wondrous planet below.
“Just think of how many ponies are down there,” Celestia said as she stood next to Luna on the edge of their imaginary cliff. “All of them with separate lives and hopes and dreams and destinies. And of course, their separate cutie marks.
“Over the centuries, I think the term ‘special talent’ has become a bit of a misnomer. Certainly, a cutie mark symbolizes the discovery of a pony’s greatest strength in life, and should never be undermined, but one has to question the true uniqueness of it all. While perhaps they may all have a special flourish in their craft, I have met thousands of different artists, engineers, doctors, writers, accountants, musicians, and a plethora of other talented ponies, all sharing similar fields. The foolish one might ask what is the loss of one in a crowd of thousands, but the wise asks what would we be without that one pony.
“The practical pony could say that while the craft may be dear to the heart, most any pony could be called upon to take their place if the situation called for it. Who needs a Princess of the Sun when enough unicorns can cycle the day themselves? All our talents can become useless some time or another. And I’ve seen more ponies than I care to count struggle relentlessly to find that fulfillment we all so crave, and even more who, even after it is discovered, still find their lives lacking of purpose, for what good is a talent with no heart to drive it? And I know of one particular pony who loved her talent with all her heart, but suffered as she was unable to share that love with those closest to her. It is a burden many have to bear, sometimes throughout their entire lives.
“But what happens if we take one pony out of the equation? Sure, the sun and moon will still rise, and seasons will still come and go, for that is the cycle of life. But I do not believe that life will ever truly be the same after such a loss. I like to say that we're all connected in one way or another, needed not just for our practical use, but for who we are.
“Throughout the centuries, I have remembered those valiant ponies who have stayed by my side, from the first year of my reign to the thousandth, but not just because they were my advisors. I do not remember Apple Harvest for the blooming apple tree on his flank, but for his constant reliability, his down-to-earth humor, and his ever-present support as my advisor. Sunshine Diamonds was not just some noblemare with a talent for running her father’s mining company, but a generous friend who went out of her way to mow down my political opposition, even as I let her get swept up in the chaos as well. It was my maid Rose Petal, not an image of a pink, heart-shaped rose bouquet, who held me as I cried after I awoke screaming from a nightmare I had of you.
“I did need these ponies’ talents, but I needed them even more. They are the ones who shaped me, for better or for worse, into the pony I am today. Even though I cried as one by one they had to leave me, I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything, just as I would never trade you, my sister. Their gifts were replaceable, but never their hearts.
“One might ask why we need music or art or poetry, all those useless things that will never do us any actual good. Why should we laugh or love, make friends or get married and have children? Isn’t it all time wasted, a missed opportunity to do something practical with our lives? But then what is the point of slaving away for the sake of a life we find nothing worth living for?
“Maybe peace, beauty, and love are not necessary for survival, but that’s precisely the point. There is a difference between surviving and actually living, Luna, something I didn’t realize before it was too late. For a thousand years, my sister, you have been my hope, my strength, and my joy upon which I have made our dreams of a nation come to life in the hopes that someday you would look upon it with pride. All this was done in your absence, and now, I hope to experience those same things with you, only with none of none of the bitterness and all of the love.
“You may not wish to return as Equestria’s princess or my sister, but I pray that you do indeed return, and you do not spend your life alone. We may be the Celestial Sisters, immortalized in books and monuments and dedications, but what good is a life frozen in granite statues and pressed against a page? It means nothing. We are spoken of but unknown, celebrated but not understood, remembered but unloved. It is only in the fleeting mortal heart of a pony we love that I believe we can ever live with meaning. And for me, you will always be that pony, now and forever. You, not your talent or title, are what gives my body purpose, my mind meaning, and my heart life.
“My beloved sister Luna, I need you more than anything. In all that I have accomplished with an empty heart of grief, I would throw it all away for love, the most beautiful and useless thing my heart has ever known.”
Celestia, now drained from that emotion, watched cautiously as Luna let those words, those preciously, life-giving words, sink into the very depths of her heart.
“You… You really mean it, don’t you, sister?” Luna marveled, her voice breathy in wonder and awe.
“Luna, are you… crying?” Celestia asked, watching tears adorn her face like beads of morning dew.
But Luna paid the tears no attention. “You really mean it,” she cried with joy. “After all this time, and I never realized. Oh Celestia, how silly I’ve been!”
With the purest smile adorning her face, Luna went to hug Celestia once again, only this time there were no tears, only joy. “Of course I will stay with you, Celestia,” Luna rejoiced. “I couldn’t imagine a life without you.”
When they finally let go, Luna looked out onto the desolate moonscape, where the words of Nightmare Moon’s hatred were spread before her. She flinched at the sight but did not look away. As she walked towards the light, she had to accept the shadow left behind her.
“Celestia,” Luna asked softly, “what did you do with your diary after I was banished?”
“At first, I wanted to burn it, but eventually I decided to keep it,” Celestia answered. “I still have it to this day, though I haven’t written in it since. Every so often I’ll open it up and read it, to both remind myself of my happy memories of you and remind myself of the mare I once was and cannot be again.”
Luna nodded. “Then I will keep these words here as well,” she declared. “Erasing them would not erase the memories, and it would be an insult to my suffering if the scars could heal that easily. Let them remain here, as a lesson for myself and others, while I strive to write through my actions a new message of hope.”
“A wise decision,” Celestia praised.
“Although,” Luna added, this time with not quite so much certainty, “I would like to write one last entry, if you find it prudent.”
Celestia nodded in understanding. “Like a closing letter.”
“A goodbye and a greeting, more like,” Luna amended. “This is not the end for me.”
Wordlessly, Luna went over to an empty patch of moondust, knelt down, and like she had done for so many centuries, scrapped her hoof against the bedrock and began to write:
Dear My Cruelest Self,
What an odd way for me to begin, you might wonder, but nevertheless, it is the only title I find truly fitting. For I am not just speaking of the self of Nightmare Moon, but of any time throughout my life where I have displayed the same antithesis of harmony, of the mare I wish to be. I suppose this letter is addressed to all my mistakes, those little lying selves and false perceptions of myself, which I have now laid to rest. Consider this your obituary of sorts.
My life has been rather… contradictory as of late. Then again, I believe it has always been, and will continue to be. A frustrating sort of clash between good and evil, harmony and chaos, that can only be found in the complex entities of ponykind. This goodbye is not the denial of this truth, but the acceptance. For I have come to understand that the wickedness of Nightmare Moon was a necessary part of my life, and though perhaps not quite as dramatic, a necessary part of all ponies. Balance, in sense, though one not contrived but natural, occurring by the mere existence of an antithesis. It is a balance, believe it or not, that I am grateful for. For without the day, there would be no moonrise, a chance for the night to start fresh as it begins again. Renewal. Forgiveness. I believe I shall be experiencing much of that back home.
So in that same spirit, I wish to tell you how sorry I am for your suffering. For you have suffered, even if you do not realize it, by succumbing to hatred and despair. That is the ultimate trap, is it not, to lose so much that you cannot remember what you had in the first place? It is a pitiful fate, and one I would not wish upon anypony. However, I wish to thank you as well, for it was by that fire that I was tempered into a stronger mare, able to shoulder more of the pain of this suffering world.
But it will never heal, no matter how much pain I bear. I understand that. Nor do I believe the scars of a thousand years will ever fully heal for me. But I am fine with that. A continuously hurting world means infinite chances for my redemption, does it not? And even though I will try, I know that none of my efforts can pay for all that time I wasted in bitterness and anger against the one who loved me most and chose to forgive me. Nothing I can do can repay that mercy. So I suppose all I can do is apologize.
Forgive me now for not being able to take you with me as I leave you here. Forgive me in the past for leading you down the rotten paths you wander. And forgive me in the future, for I know I will send others like you to die in ashes. Oh, how I wish a thousand years in exile could craft perfection, but I fear I will continue to stumble, creating those nightmares once again. But unlike before, I will not ignore them, but bury them in the ground and simply keep walking. And as I walk, I know I shall turn around, turn to see the graveyard that trails behind me, and wonder how much of me there is left to die.
I suppose we will find out at the end of the road.
Yours in unison and separation,
My Dying, Enduring Self
With a deep sigh, Luna stopped writing and tilted her head back to see the millions of butterflies, the manifestation of her memories, begin to flicker out and fade.
“They’re… dying,” Luna wondered aloud.
“Dying, but not forgotten,” Celestia added, looking up at the beautiful sky in admiration. “They can’t stay forever, you know.”
“Just like us, I suppose,” Luna said, a hint of disappointment in her voice. “We should probably be teleporting back to Equestria now. I’m sure the guards are wondering where we are.”
Celestia only smiled. “They can wait,” she reassured. “For you I have eternity.”
“Well, alright then,” Luna said pleasantly. “I suppose we do have some catching up to do. My goodness, what does one say after such a long time away?”
“After a thousand years of heartbreaking separation?” Celestia asked with a gentle smile. “Absolutely nothing.”
So leaning against each other for support, the two sisters laid together in the moondust, surrounded by the calm, peaceful darkness of Luna’s night, under the quiet watchfulness of the stars. Silence wrapped around them like a comforting blanket, imparting more than mere words ever could. They watched like wondrous little fillies as up above the butterflies crumpled like paper and streaked to the ground in glittering trails of fire, only to turn to ash and cover up the words of Nightmare Moon under their warm grey coat. No weather ponies were needed to choreograph such a spectacular sight as one by one the pale blue lights winked out, as if a little cosmic goodbye wave, and hurtled into death. However, it would soon be discovered that the butterflies would rise from their ashes once a year, to complete the same cycle of destruction and renewal, again and again, in all its wonderful beauty.
“I just can’t believe it,” Luna said, tears of joy leaking from her eyes. “After a thousand years, it’s finally here.”
“It has been a long time coming, hasn’t it?” Celestia agreed softly, not taking her eyes off the miraculous sight. “But it’s ever, ever so beautiful.”
So while the ponies of Equestria celebrated the rising of the Summer Sun below, the two sisters stayed and celebrated the rising of something much more beautiful, as they watched the meteor shower all night long.