Twilight Sparkle, the studious unicorn of the Golden Oaks Library, was excited beyond all reason today. The new book in the recently revamped (poorly done, mind you) Daring Do series was just released after a twenty year hiatus. Twilight took extreme measures to ensure the perfect conditions for a Daring Do night: she closed the library, sent Spike out, sent a written correspondence to everypony in Ponyville that she does not want to be disturbed, and got out her favorite drinks and snacks for a good reading session.
Giggling like a filly, Twilight practically skipped from the kitchen. A tray of snacks and drinks in tow and the revered book in question in her magical grip, Twilight prepared both her mind and body for this new installment.
Although personally, Twilight disliked the newly revamped Daring Do universe (where the titular character’s sister was replaced by a stallion) she still kept up with the continuity as a dedicated fan, happy to ignore any plot-holes and more than happy to accept some of the changes. She rolled her eyes at the thought of Daring’s iconic hat being part of an ancient mystic culture where it was revered as a super-weapon of the gods rather than what it just was; a really cool hat.
“Oh, Twilight, there you are. Listen, I was wondering, it’s been a while since we’ve visited any planets and I found this brilliant little rock where the inhabitants are thirty feet tall with floppy ears!” The Doctor, the eccentric Time Lord, strolled into the room, babbling at his usual ninety mile-per-hour style of talking with a great big smile on his face. Before he could continue with his plans, however, Twilight raised a single hoof, stopping him in his tracks.
“Not tonight Doctor, you see this?” Twilight levitated her book in front of him, causing him to raise a curious eyebrow as he read the title.
“Um, a book?”
“Not just any book, it’s the new Daring Do novel!” Twilight moved the book away to show her excited grin. “It’s been so long since we’ve had a new book; I just got it in today and I’m going to spend the rest of the night reading it! Maybe I’ll even highlight my favorite parts and show it to you!”
Curious, the Doctor took the book in his hooves and flipped through all of the pages. He shut the book after finishing and handed it back to her. “Interesting read, a bit slow in the middle, oh, and you’ll love the twist where Daring—“
“Doctor!” She interrupted. “Spoilers!”
“Oh, right, sorry, sorry. I suppose then you’ll want some space?”
Twilight nodded. “Yes, that would be nice.”
“I’ll go and hang out with Pinkie then”— He stopped once the familiar cadence of his TARDIS landing rang through the library. The wind picked up as if a localized tornado suddenly came to life, and both the ponies turned to face the suddenly materializing familiar blue box—“Okay… that isn’t good.”
“Doctor… what’s wrong?” Twilight asked. “Why is your TARDIS here, I thought you were the only one who could pilot it!”
“I am… which means…” The Doctor ran his sonic screwdriver over the TARDIS and grimaced at the readings. “Not again…”
The doors burst open and two ponies spilled out, tumbling over each other and nearly running over the Doctor. Smoke billowed from the interior of the TARDIS, briefly obscuring the passengers, but Twilight recognized the bright pink fur the earth mare had. Before the Doctor and Twilight stood another Doctor with Pinkie Pie at his side!
“Extractor fans on!” The second Doctor cried, but the TARDIS whined in response causing the Time Lord to bite back a curse as he shut the door behind him. “This isn’t good! It’ll take a little while, but we need to wait for the smoke to clear before we can go back in and—oh… Hello!”
The second Doctor turned to the first Doctor with Twilight, wearing his usual oblivious smile. Pinkie stood, grinning madly at them as well until she recognized the other Doctor and furrowed her brow in confusion. “Doctor, why are there two of you? Ooh! Is he your evil twin brother?”
“No, Pinkie, I’m afraid the answer is a lot simpler. I am he and he is me,” answered the first Doctor before turning to the new Doctor. “Though, if I were to hazard a guess, I’d say the reason you’re here is…”
The second Doctor nodded grimly. “Forgot to engage the brakes.”
“Doctor! Why are there two of you? Isn’t that, you know, impossible and dangerous?!” Twilight stepped in between the two Doctors, looking at the second one with confounded curiosity.
“Not really, this isn’t the first time this happened. Though, admittedly, at least I won’t have to worry about sandshoes,” answered the second Doctor. “Good thing we landed in your library or we’d be twenty seconds to Belgium.”
“First day I got here, I outfitted your magical tree with an Artron Energy Converter, remember?” chimed the first Doctor.
“Making use of your magical lightning rod, it can convert Artron Energy into fuel for my TARDIS,” continued the second Doctor.
“I also installed a few security protocols. In the event of a temporal paradox, the entire library would be put into a time lock to preserve the timeline. So, we should be fine for now.”
“Of course!” interjected the second Doctor. “But then again, I’m a huge complicated space-time event, so the miniature time lock won’t hold for long but everything will be okay so long as no other space-time event occurs.”
As if to contradict the Doctors, the library shook and the TARDIS engines roared within the little room. Right behind the first Doctor and Twilight another TARDIS began to materialize. Just barely able to land, a third Doctor pushed himself out the doors with another Twilight in tow.
The third Doctor looked at everypony in the room and smiled. “Good! Caught up with the timeline.”
The original Twilight shook her head in confusion. “Whoa, why is there another me?!”
“It’s kinda… complicated,” admitted the second Twilight sheepishly.
“Timey-wimey?” asked the first Twilight.
All three Doctors nodded.
The first Doctor checked his watch and began to pull the original Twilight toward the basement, where his respective TARDIS sat. “Come along Twilight! We need to maintain the timeline, otherwise, boom Belgium!”
The basement shook as the TARDIS began to take off. The second and third Doctor checked their watches simultaneously, satisfied that everything was going in order. The second Twilight shook her head as she tried to understand what just happened. “Doctor, I just watched my past self go further into the past because we went into the past and, ohh, time-travel…”
“Right now, we have more pressing manners we have to attend to Twilight. Though, I will be more than happy to explain non-linear temporal displacement with you when the universe isn’t going to get blown up. Now then, on to your busted TARDIS, what happened?” The third Doctor turned toward the second Doctor who shook his head stubbornly.
“You’re me, you should know what happened. Blimey, am I really that thick?” complained the second Doctor. “But, for the sake of clarity, I was trying to take Pinkie to a world made of diamonds when we were severely damaged in the time vortex. The TARDIS picked the safest location it could find, here the only place in this universe with a time-lock safety mechanism.”
“Simple solution then!” said the third Doctor.
“Of course it is, I just wanted you to say it.”
“What are you two talking about?” asked Twilight, annoyed at the prospect of two annoying Time Lords talking over each other.
The third Doctor kindly pushed Twilight out of the way, allowing the second Doctor, with Pinkie, to enter in his TARDIS. Suddenly, the third Doctor dragged Twilight into the damaged TARDIS. “Twilight, force-field please?”
Twilight did as he asked and produced her force-field spell which repelled the hazardous smoke that it now expunged. The two ran into the TARDIS, the Doctor ordered her to turn on the extractor fans and they worked perfectly, expelling all of the smoke.
“Now then, if I know myself, and I do, I think I’ll do something really clever to reverse this temporal paradox at the same time. Since this is almost like last time, it’ll be a synch!” the Doctor ran his hooves over the console before finally pulling a wibbly lever which caused the TARDIS to whine but her engines operated normally.
Grinning, the Doctor turned to Twilight and adjusted his bow-tie. “Just like that.”
“Good, now that we aren’t going to all die, can I read my book?!”
The Time Lord dropped Twilight off the library, complaining about ungrateful unicorns and ran off to pick up Pinkie for some unbridled fun.
Finally, after all that was said and done, Twilight was in her room with her revered book, her snacks and a thirst for some Daring Do.
~==~
Daring Do and the Treacherous Titan
Daring Do wasn’t a particularly normal pony. She was the type of pony to enjoy jumping out of an exploding evil base off the side of a mountain, or run through an ancient temple with dozens of ninja monkeys chasing her throwing banana ninja-stars.
Then again, it came with the job. No, Daring wasn’t a danger-addict; she was an archeologist. Despite not being pressed to have to do all of these dangerous things, Daring opted to do so anyways; after all, it’s all to preserve the history of the artifacts she goes after.
You’d be surprised how often criminal masterminds with an absurdly effective P.R. department use his seemingly inexhaustible resources to steal priceless artifacts for world domination. You’d also be surprised how many ancient devices are fully functioning and powerful, then again, in a world filled with demons, ghosts, and gods anything is possible.
The Canterlot pegasus found herself at the base of the snowy capped Mt. Killiponyjaro, grimacing at the prospect of scaling the giant mountain. Pegasi were fine with inclement weather and even better with thin oxygen, what they weren’t fine with was the mountain exploding under their hooves as they desperately tried to escape the cackling monster behind them. Daring wasn’t psychic, it’s just all of her adventures generally end that way.
Still, Daring couldn’t help but crack a smile; anxious to get things going. Contrary to her name, Daring wasn’t addicted to danger, but it’s more fun that way.
She snickered to herself when she thought of Felicity and how snide she would react to that comment.
Furious knocking at the door stopped Twilight and with a slight growl, she threw her book down and half-ran, half-stomped toward the damned entrance. “What?!” Twilight all but snarled as she threw the door open to poor Fluttershy who whimpered and shrank at her friend’s harsh tone.
“Oh, nothing, sorry, I’ll just go away for the rest of my life. Sorry to bother you,” the timid pegasus whispered, backing up from the library. Twilight shook her head and offered an apologetic, if slightly forced, smile.
“I’m… sorry, Flutershy I didn’t mean to snap at you,” she apologized. “It’s just… never mind, what’s going on?”
Fluttershy relaxed and moved slightly to the side to show Twilight Owlowisicous standing beside the pegasus. The small owl looked cleaner than usual, his feathers all but shined and the bird looked rather proud of his clean appearance. Twilight smiled at the owl’s newfound swagger as he flew inside suddenly the guilt weighed on Twilight’s shoulders from her previous harsh remark.
“I gave Owlowisicous his customary bath but he didn’t really need it, he maintains his feathers fairly well,” reported Fluttershy gently.
“Thank you so much, Fluttershy. Is there anything I can do to—“
Fluttershy shook her head forcefully (well, relatively speaking) and smiled diplomatically at Twilight. “Oh no, it is my pleasure. Owlowisicous was the perfect guest, and he reorganized my bookshelf.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, if there was something that was more orderly than her it had to be her owl companion. Owlowisicous was organizational to a fault even, he even organized his favorite twigs by size and width.
“Well, thank you again,” Twilight said. “I really appreciate it.”
Fluttershy nodded but didn’t make an effort to leave. She stood there awkwardly rubbing her forelegs together, shuffling nervously in place. Twilight knew her friend well enough to understand what this body language meant. “Um, is there anything else you needed?”
Slightly startled as if snapped out of her thoughts, Fluttershy recoiled and quietly retreated, taking a step back. “Oh, no, it’s okay, I mean you’re busy after all—“
“Fluttershy, just tell me, I’ll be able to help, okay?” Twilight insisted firmly.
Fluttershy considered for a moment before nodding slowly. “Well, I promised Zecora that I would visit later on today for some tea. Ten minutes from now, to be exact. And, well, it’s just that slipped my mind earlier and I nearly forgot while I was giving Angel his weekly tail-fluffing”—Fluttershy shifted to show Angel Bunny sitting on her back, impatiently glaring at Twilight, something that might’ve been more intimidating if he didn’t have that ribbon in his tail— “So I dropped everything to rush over here to drop Owlowisicous off, but I don’t want to leave Angel Bunny alone so…”
The yellow pegasus stared at Twilight expectantly with those big sad eyes which were impossible to say no to. Twilight melted instantly. “So, you need somepony to take care of Angel?”
“Yes,” Fluttershy nodded. “An Angel doesn’t, um, like the other girls so I thought you could?”
Twilight looked at Angel hesitantly, the snow-white bunny crossed his little arms and huffed as if to say, “You ain’t my favorite either, so don’t flatter ‘yerself.”
“Sure, I think I can handle him.”
Fluttershy left like a gentle breeze of “thank you”s and “I’ll make it up to you” and Twilight finally settled back in her spot. Thankfully, Angel was more or less cordial, after a few miniature death glares he tromped off to rendezvous with Owlowisicous. The shrewd and the little devil, that couldn’t go well, but Twilight didn’t really care, diving back into her book with glee.
Daring Do clambered up to the ancient, hidden entrance to the south of the mountain base and scratched her wild, messy mane. “Ookay, what now?” she muttered, eyeing up the large stone door before her.
It wasn’t like a normal door, of course not why would ever be easy? It was intricately crafted with ancient symbols of animals lost to mythology and tall tales. Right smack-dab center of the massive door, where the seam would be, were gears and locks encompassing the majority of the structure.
Each lock was about three times Daring’s size, so turning them would be forty miles from easy. But at the very base of the door was platform holding a metallic box with a number of switches and levers attached to it.
“Ancient lockpick,” Daring remarked, approaching the box. “Turn the switches in the right combination, you get an open door. Turn it the wrong way…” She looked to the left and right of her and there were distinctive tiny holes, booby-traps. “How can these ancient booby-traps work after all these years, anyways?”
Daring carefully wrapped her hooves around the box, considering the switches with in a deliberate manner.
A crash from the kitchen once again broke Twilight’s concentration and with an aggravated huff, she slammed her book down and stomped into the kitchen. She was unsurprised to find Angel Bunny standing awkwardly beside a completely shattered plate with a bunch of lettuce and tomatoes strewn throughout the kitchen floor.
Owlowisicous, apparently, attempted to have clean up the mess before Twilight arrived. In his beak and talons was a duster and a dust-pan, but the tiny owl’s efforts were in vain, because before he could pick up the first tomato, Twilight loomed over them dangerously.
“Angel,” she said in a controlled voice. “What… happened?”
Angel didn’t even try to glare at Twilight only pointing accusatorily at Owlowisicous and the shattered plate. The owl didn’t take kindly to being blamed, dropping his cleaning devices the owl hooted angrily and pointed a wing at the bunny.
Twilight face-hoofed, groaning impatiently. “Look, I don’t care who did it. Let’s just clean it up and“-- she looked up and to her surprise Angel was no longer there.
Owlowisicous was just as surprised, hooting quizzically about the disappeared rabbit. Twilight quickly looked around the kitchen to find the cursed bunny but a crash in the main library lured the unicorn there instantly.
Angel was on top of the Biographies bookshelf with a wicked smile that barely matched the ribbon on his tail.
“Angel! Get down from there!” Twilight ordered. Angel only blew a raspberry at her and snatched a book from the shelf, throwing it at Twilight. Owlowisicous was quick, however, intercepting the deadly projectile and catching it in his talons, setting it down calmly beside Twilight.
“Stop!” Twilight cried. But Angel took four more books, lobbing them at Twilight with something of an evil laugh, if you call that weird rasping sound a laugh. Twilight and Owlowiscious worked together to catch the books, how Angel was able to tote heavy tomes like those with ease was beyond Twilight.
Eventually, Twilight had enough of Angel and levitated the bunny in her magical grasp. The bunny swore torrents of words that would make Fluttershy faint but he was powerless in Twilight’s magical snare. Levitating him to Twilight’s face, she smiled just as evilly as he had. “Now… what do we do with you?”
Angel rattled the cage formerly meant for Owlowisicous, swinging it here and there desperately but was unable to escape from his prison.
“Now that that’s all settled…” Twilight sat back down and opened her book up again.
The first combination unleashed a hail of arrows that only with her cat-like reflexes she was able to dodge them all. Well, her poor hat took a fatal blow. Daring grumbled as she placed the cap back on her head, trying to ignore the gaping hole in the center of it.
Daring tried the box again, turning and pushing switches and levers for another combination. A hollowly click echoed inside the box and Daring could hear the gears turning underneath her. Suddenly a giant axe from the heavens swung downward, threatening to slice her in two. Daring backflipped, dodging the axe.
Two more clicks to either side of her and the ground opened up slightly, revealing two tubes which blew streams of fire at her. Daring rolled backwards again, searing her tail slightly. A large block of stone flew from her right, screaming toward her. Daring jumped, narrowly avoiding being turned into a pancake.
“Seriously?!” Daring flew back down and headed for the box. “Oh, buck it!”
She kicked the box right off its pedestal and for a scary moment nothing happened… then the ground rumbled.
“SOMEPONY HELP US!”
Screaming rang in Twilight’s ears and the sounds of chaos and destruction filled the library in an instant. Despite these potentially hazardous indicators, Twilight was no longer amused. With a growl and a glare which could fell Discord himself, Twilight stomped outside with purpose.
Everypony was running around like crazy, screaming their heads off at some unseen threat. Before Twilight could even ask what the problem was, it revealed itself. With a single bound, it leapt over the town square and landed right in front of Twilight. Its fur was as dark as the stuff of nightmares, its eyes were red and evil and it stood easily as tall as Twilight’s home.
Cerberus, the gatekeeper of Tartarus, growled at Twilight, his three-heads collectively snapping at everything around him.
“SOMEPONY HELP!” screeched a passerby. “IT’S CERBERUS!”
“ENOUGH!” Twilight roared, just as loud as everypony silencing them all, even Cerberus couldn’t help but stare at Twilight curiously. His three heads tilted quizzically, as if wondering why Twilight wasn’t whimpering with fear. He tried to growl at her but Twilight was hardly impressed.
“Hey!” she all but barked. “No! No more interruptions! No more timey-wimey stuff, or destructive bunnies, or rampaging hellhounds! You see this?” Twilight levitated her book at Cerberus. “This is my new book, I just got it and I want to read it in peace… and quiet! Do I make myself clear?!”
Everypony, Cerberus included, nodded meekly. “Good! Cerberus, go back to where you came from and the rest of you… there will be no more interruptions for the rest of the day, understood?!”
More meek nods came from the townfolk. Twilight looked around for any dissenting faces and once satisfied slammed the door to get back to her lovely book.
Rainbow Dash lived up to her name and raced as fast as she could to Twilight’s place. Daring Do and the Treacherous Titan was held firmly in her hooves as she flew top-speed to Ponyville. The book’s release was delayed in Ponyville and Rainbow had to get to Canterlot in order to purchase the book, but now that she had it now she could barely wait to get started on it.
“I wonder if Twilight got her copy yet,” Rainbow pondered. “Eh, who knows. Hopefully she won’t mind if I read it at her place.”
Libraries were, unironically enough, the best place to read a book.