Chapter Forty Two
If he were to count the diarchy, he was currently in the presence of sixty five ponies, spread out over a wide range of age ranges. Considering Spike was also present, and often spoke in a dialect that failed to differentiate his dragon nature from those he was surrounded by, that made the total sixty six. All in all it was a considerably sized group for the one building to house all at once. And that was on top of the various tables holding assorted types of refreshments.
He looked back at Twilight once again. Based on her demeanor, he could assume that this hadn't been her own idea. Her posture didn't suggest that she was particularly proud of herself or how things had turned out; nothing to suggest that she'd intended from the beginning to surprise him with this social gathering he found himself at. Perhaps it had been a matter of coercion on the part of the others to make her bring him here. If that were the case then he couldn't blame her for resorting to such tactics.
He began weighing his options again, and what he could do in response to this turn of developments. He'd already ruled out the possibility of simply leaving this gathering.
But at that thought he stopped, and then started to ponder. Why would he give serious consideration to leaving, after everything he'd been through so far? What served as motivation to be absent from this gathering?
Was it due to how nonsensical these ponies could be at times? Such information was certainly nothing new to him; he'd been aware of their nature from his first meeting with them. That was one aspect many of them shared with six other Espada, to say nothing of the many Números that served Aizen. But it wasn't an aspect of their nature that he actively chose to hold against them; certainly nothing that would motivate him to leave.
It was certainly ludicrous that these ponies seemed to consider it a necessary endeavor to actually throw him a party of any sort. Such an exercise didn't seem beneficial to him in any manner. And yet for whatever reason it was, these ponies felt that it was worth coming together and being present to do just that, despite having every reason to be afraid of him.
Celebrations, much like forgiveness, appeared to be serious business with these ponies. On that note he examined his surroundings more carefully. A good portion of the assembled ponies, he wasn't surprised to see. Twilight and the others being present, that made sense to him. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna being present, that made less sense, but not so much that he couldn't understand it. As royalty they were entitled to be present for whatever it was they wished, it was their prerogative. Even ponies such as Filthy Rich, Ditzy Doo, and even Lyra, he could in some way understand them being present for this gathering, as they were among those least put off by his nature. If any of them would be present, it was most certainly them.
But all the others made varying degrees of less sense as he went over each and every pony present. Some of them, such as the three who made up the Cutie Mark Crusaders, he believed he could make sense of that. But those such as the pony who operated the Quills & Sofas shop, or the blue mare that was co-owner of Sugarcube Corner, or even the red-maned filly who wore purple-framed glasses and spoke with a lisp... those and many others were the ones that truly confused him with their presence. What is it that interested them in him so much? Why did they not fear him? Or at the very least, why did whatever fear they might possess, prove so insufficient to keep them away from him?
However the mystery of why these ponies were present, did nothing to address the mystery of why leaving was considered in the first place. In his time -both here and in Las Noches- he had exhibited a considerable tolerance for trash, and possessed considerable patience for when it was a necessity. He was hardly the type to be driven away by mere nonsense and outright idiocy.
Another look around the room. All of them were more or less staring at him at this point. They seemed expectant of him to do or say something, suggesting they saw him as the center of attention for this gathering. He briefly wondered just how long they'd be willing to remain waiting if he simply remained silent and did absolutely nothing. It was more than likely that his patience would win out if it came down to it.
But at present time he didn't feel inclined to take such a route. He was admittedly curious about everything taking place right now. Perhaps the best course of action was to simply see how things progressed. There was certainly nothing in his area of detection that struck him as unusual that would warrant his immediate attention. And then there was the matter of what he'd set out to do today. Perhaps this would be the best way of going about doing just that.
"And what precisely does one do at a party?" he asked as he turned his attention to Pinkie, her grin never seeming to leave her face throughout his silence.
"What they do, Ulqy, is have fun! C'mon I'll show you!" she stated eagerly and took hold of his wrist -how such was done with hooves, he still didn't know- and proceeded to pull him in the direction of the others.
What had he gotten himself into?
Twilight's entire body felt as if she'd been holding a breath for several minutes, despite the fact she knew full well that she hadn't been. She could feel the adrenaline coursing through her body at high speeds, fueling the primitive fight or flight response that was genetically leftover from a time long, long ago in their course of evolution. She'd been so tense during her wait for Ulquiorra to appear, she'd become even tenser when he'd actually appeared and it was up to her to execute the next part of the plan, and now that he was following Pinkie she felt everything come crashing down against her. She had to sit down and catch her breath before she passed out.
So many things could've gone wrong in the whole execution of Pinkie's plan. There were so many points that relied on luck and chance, and she knew beforehoof that everything would've fallen completely apart. That wasn't how things were supposed to go! There had to be structure, and order, and contingency plans in place in the event of failure! That's what made it all the more surprising when things had progressed as Pinkie had -more or less- intended. Ulquiorra was present, a good number of ponies were present, her obligation was done. Now all she wanted to do was find a quiet spot to take a long nap and let her nerves recover.
Something soft and downy landed on her back. Looking over her shoulder she realized that it was Celestia's left wing draped over her like a comforter, a neutral-to-caring look on her face.
That was another mystery that Twilight didn't understand. Anytime the Princesses came to Ponyville, it was treated as a very big deal. And with both of them present at the exact same time, even moreso. So how exactly were they both present and nopony was fawning over them like usual? Pinkie had her have Spike send them the notice and invitation, to which they'd gladly accepted. But she'd been absent for their arrival, as she was tasked with fetching Ulquiorra and bringing him back here.
Was it some sort of incognito enchantment, that when cast affected everypony present in the area, and her absence had shielded her from the affects? Or... had the lingering animosity prevented it taking hold on her? Whatever it was that served as an answer to the question at hoof, all she was aware of right now was the fact that Ulquiorra seemed to be getting the most attention out of anyone present.
"How am I supposed to address you in public?" she asked in a hushed tone. That was another question to which she had no answer, as she'd never stopped to give it any actual consideration. She'd never stopped to consider such a situation, because she honestly never thought that Celestia would have anything to do with her in a public gathering after everything that happened.
"However you're comfortable with," Celestia replied in an equally soft voice. She understood the predicament well enough to understand Twilight's uncertainty. Regardless of what had happened between all of them, there was still the expectancy of others to observe a certain type of decorum in a public setting. Unfortunately there were no easy or concise answers to give right now. "We're not here in an official capacity. I don't believe there's anything wrong with a casual approach."
She nodded absently at Celestia's words. There was nothing of any real use in her words, but she still filed the information away for use at a later date, in attempting to formulate her answer. But for now there was a more pressing question that she wanted to ask. Or rather, questions.
"How did you get everypony to be so relaxed around you?" she asked as she looked around. She'd never seen so many look so relaxed when in the presence of royalty.
"A little beseeching on our part, and informing them that the guest of honor was far more in need of their attention than ourselves," Celestia explained as she continued using her wing to stroke Twilight's back, thankful that she didn't seem inclined to refuse her gesture.
At one point in time, Twilight would've taken the answer given at face value. Who could refuse a request from the Princess of all ponies? But that point in time was no more. After what happened with the changelings, she'd developed a sense of cynicism regarding multiple things. And as a result she doubted that things were as simple as that. But grilling Celestia right now would lead to nowhere. Right now there was another question that needed to be asked.
"So how come everypony isn't afraid of Ulquiorra? All day long they've been taking steps to avoid him like he was the cutie pox. But now they seem like they did at their first meeting. Is that a result of beseechment... or brainwashing?" she asked, whispering the last two words so only Celestia could hear. And judging by the change in rhythm of her back being stroked, she felt it safe to assume she wasn't far off in her line of questioning.
"... I guess you could say it's a little of both," Celestia replied as her wing remained still, before it was finally withdrawn and tucked in again. "What it is, is a therapy technique that was designed to treat ponies with phobias that are potentially debilitating in nature. Their fear is suppressed, and they're exposed to the supposed cause of their phobia in a carefully controlled environment, allowing them to associate it with pleasant experiences, in an effort to dissolve the fearful response," she explained. She noticed Twilight's demeanor change to one of curiosity. If there was anything that could interest her student, it was learning about new kinds of magic. And for that she was thankful. "Normally it's a process spread over numerous appointments to address long term problems, problems that've plagued ponies for years on end. But I believe this is the first time it's ever been used to try and address an issue that's been short term in duration."
Twilight's expression was... extremely neutral in nature, almost unreadable really. It was surprising that she could maintain such an expression. And Celestia honestly couldn't tell just what she was thinking right now, as she sat there and silently looked up at her from where she sat. It was... unnerving to be unable to tell if her student currently found disfavor with her actions right now.
"Do you think that's the best course of action to take?" Twilight finally asked after a long stretch of silence between them -silence in general overall at this party was impossible- as she turned her attention back to Pinkie and Ulquiorra as he was more or less examining the refreshment table at this point. "Mass mind control?"
"... Despite everything that's happened up to this point, I don't believe Ulquiorra deserves to be feared and shunned by the others. Not anymore at least," Celestia replied after a thoughtful pause. It didn't serve as justification for her actions, but it didn't amount to condemnation either. "If Ulquiorra really is trying to learn about friendship, we owe him a helping hoof. How we go about providing that is a judgement call, just like everything else we do in life. And sometimes, it's the wrong judgement."
There were no comforting words to be had from Celestia's explanation. But anymore Twilight had come to expect that as a possibility. It was a long, involved way of saying "We all make mistakes at times" and structured in a way to try and cushion the blow of the statement. She couldn't deny that Ulquiorra could stand some good PR right about now, what with all the good he'd done. However the method used in going about it still didn't set well with her, even if she could agree that it did seem like the most logical course of action.
There was really nothing she could say in response. Nothing that hadn't already been said anyway. Nothing that was polite enough to share here in front of the others.
Add to that, nothing that'd been said up to this point had done anything to soothe her nerves. She still felt uncomfortably frazzled right now from the lack of structure and order.
"I need some punch," Twilight stated as she got up to walk over to the refreshment table.
He had allowed himself to be lead by Pinkie over to where a number of other ponies stood, all the while trying to make sense of everything that was occurring. How exactly these ponies weren't running in terror like they had been earlier, it was a mystery to him. They were treating him like an everyday occurrence rather than what he truly was.
Were the inhabitants in this world truly so forgiving in nature, that even his actions could be looked past? Did they realize that his course of action had been necessary for their own safety? Or had they simply realized that they were not the intended target of last week, and come to the conclusion that they had nothing to fear from his presence? Whatever the exact reasoning was, it continued to elude him much as a fox did a hunter.
Perhaps the best course of action was to simply not focus too heavily on the particular mystery at hand. If he did then he very well might become distracted and lose sight of something important. Already the voices of the ponies around him was being interpreted as nothing more than unintelligible background noise. There had been some type of discussion going about for the last five minutes that he hadn't given much notice to, due to his focus being elsewhere. He could very well be missing out on something of importance by not paying attention.
"-and then the doctor says "Wait a minute, if this is the thermometer, then where did I put my quill!?""
And then again, perhaps he hadn't.
As best he could tell, Pinkie had just finished telling some kind of joke that had reduced her to hysterics, several others joining in her amusement and laughing to various degrees. It would seem he'd chosen to pay attention just as the punchline was told, and he'd missed the entire setup. Not that it truly made any difference in his case, as humor wasn't an area he had any expertise in.
Off to the side Rainbow Dash was laughing up a storm, hovering upside down with her forelegs holding her abdomen as her frame was racked. It was safe to say she was one of those who had greatly enjoyed whatever the joke had been. Spike appeared greatly amused as well, although he still managed to remain upright.
Rarity, on the other hand, appeared quite indignant and was showing no signs of amusement.
"Pinkie, darling, do you truly believe such a vulgar joke was appropriate?" she asked pointedly as she frowned at the oblivious party planner. "And that's to say nothing of the obvious discomfort that such a situation would cause. Quill points are quire sharp! How is such a situation funny in the first place?"
"Aw lighten up, Rarity," Rainbow Dash laughed as she rolled over to right herself, "stuff like that is classic humor. What's not to like?"
He could easily tell that this conversation wasn't one necessary to be listening to, and that his attention could be better focused elsewhere. Such as the minor curiosity of one of the refreshment tables actually holding numerous pieces of silverware. He truly hadn't expected to see such present, but there had indeed been stacks of knives, forks, and spoons present; something that brought him back to his earlier observation regarding the dexterity of hooves and how they could be used in manipulating small items. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, as well as Twilight, had made use of utensils via manipulation of magic. Spike had done so through use of his hands. But he truly didn't remember seeing any pegasi or earth ponies using such during his previous visits. Perhaps this would be interesting to observe, as none of the books he had read up to this point had adequately explained the matter of hoof dexterity. It was still a mystery to him at this point.
However the curiosity of how an earth pony like Applejack could make use of a knife and fork, soon gave way to another curiosity. As he looked down the rows of tables that held the various refreshments, he noticed Twilight doing... something. From where he stood it almost looked like she was trying to arrange everything in a specific order, one section at a time. Was she... was she actually sorting the loose candy bowl right now?
"What precisely is she doing?" he finally asked, unable to reach a conclusion on his own. Perhaps the others knew something he didn't.
Rarity stepped forward and looked in the direction she saw Ulquiorra looking. What she saw was quite disturbing to her, as she knew this wasn't good. To say the least, it could interfere with the party that Pinkie was throwing. To say the most... oh poor, poor Twilight...
"I'm afraid she's experiencing a bit of a private crisis at the moment. Twilight is... let's say sensitive about certain matters, shall we? She doesn't exactly do well in an unstructured environment that's devoid of at least some kind of order. When she's exposed to certain events that disturb her, she succumbs to certain obsessive compulsive tendencies as a coping mechanism to try and alleviate her stress," Rarity explained. "I'm not even certain if she's consciously aware of her current actions."
Rather strange. Twilight was a pony brave enough to trek up a mountain in order to face a grown dragon at the request of Princess Celestia... and yet she was incapable of being within unstructured environments without making an effort to structure them to her liking? It was all quite paradoxical in nature, not something he'd ever expected to encounter. All this time he'd simply assumed she was tidy and orderly in her endeavors. Instead she was more like a prisoner to certain unreasonable idiosyncrasies.
It also seemed rather... contrived in nature, that such a fact was being mentioned just now. Twilight was the first outside pony he had met, and he hadn't been aware of such a fact in any of their interactions together. He recognized that she was detail-oriented in nature, but nothing like this. It seemed unusual that such would be making an appearance just now.
Then again he hadn't asked if she possessed any neurological deficiencies of such a nature. Nor had he taken any interest in what she chose to do in her own time. So long as she was able to function and fulfill her duties, and keep him properly informed about what was going on around Ponyville, he truly didn't care what she was like.
Perhaps the lack of mention was due to it being something not openly discussed in the same vein as matters such as the weather. In this world that would likely make the most sense.
Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement to Rarity's statement as she flapped her way over to them in order to watch Twilight's actions. She really didn't want to admit it, but seeing the familiar fidgeting of her friend was starting to make her nervous. She'd seen both the meltdown and the fallout that had occurred the last time the unicorn got upset like this, and she really wasn't looking forward to such again; especially if this was something more pressing than not being able to keep to a self-imposed schedule.
"I thought we'd gotten her past this point," the cyan pegasus muttered as she flapped.
Spike said nothing as he climbed up on Pinkie's shoulders to get a better view of everything, before simply shaking his head. "I've seen Twilight like this before. If we can get her distracted with something else, even something small, she should calm down enough to go back to normal," he explained.
"Yeah? Like what?" Rainbow Dash asked. Getting Twilight calmed down sounded like a really good idea right now.
"Whatever we do, we'd better do it fast. I think Twilight's getting ready to try and even out the icing on the cupcakes!" Pinkie stated, her tone suggesting far greater urgency than her statement commanded on its own.
"Oh not this again," Spike groaned. Getting covered in flying frosting might be tasty, but if anypony asked him for his opinion, he'd much rather eat the cake normally.
"Don't worry, little dude, I've got a plan," Rainbow Dash stated in a confident manner, before turning to face Ulquiorra. "Are you game for this?"
"Twilight?"
Much to her displeasure, Twilight was discovering that the punch supplied for the party was doing very little to soothe either her nerves or her mind. There were just far too many chaotic things going on right now for her to be able to properly structure her thoughts in a way she felt was acceptable.
"Twilight?"
First there was the whole aspect of what Pinkie had asked her to do, and how she'd involved her in this plan. Not that she was completely opposed to the chaotic randomness that was Pinkie Pie and all her inner workings. She'd been involved in random plans before, seen how things have managed to work when she was certain it was an impossibility; she still had the scars from when she tried to figure out how the Pinkie Sense worked. But this was the first time she'd ever been directly involved in a snatch and grab type of operation.
Or at the very least, the first time she'd ever been tasked with being the one to do the actual snatching...
Grabbing Ulquiorra and teleporting him directly to the barn of Sweet Apple Acres in order to surprise him? Had Pinkie possessed even a mild understanding of just what could've gone wrong with such an approach? Did she even care?! And what did Ulquiorra think of her now for the part she'd played in all of it?
"Twilight?"
And then on top of that already unpleasant aspect of the day, there was her discovery that Celestia had more or less brainwashed Ponyville in order to control and structure their behavior. She hadn't even bothered to hide such a fact when pressed on the matter!
But that wasn't the most disturbing part of it all. Suppressing their fear of Ulquiorra so they could interact with him in a comfortable manner in order to get over their concern. According to Celestia that was the only goal she had in mind in doing this. Whether or not that was believable, she didn't know right now. The disturbing part was that the more she thought on it, the more she found herself actually agreeing not only with it, but also supporting the overall merits to be had. If a phobia was allowed to take root it would prove incredibly difficult to treat down the road, so the most logical thing to do was prevent it from becoming established, and doing so as soon as possible, by removing the aspect that caused the fear of the event.
However Celestia hadn't simply made them forget the event that caused their fear, but rather gone a step beyond that and actually suppressed their fear of the event.
Right now she wasn't certain what disturbed her more. Was it Celestia's actions here today? The fact that she could agree with the motives for such? Or the fact that, when looked at in the right kind of context, her efforts to introduce Ulquiorra to Ponyville was hardly any different in nature? Both had involved trickery and deceit against the unknowing. So what really separated them from each other? Was she as manipulative in nature as Celestia herself?
"Twilight!"
"Huh?" Twilight asked, shaking her head to clear her senses. She looked and saw Rainbow Dash, standing off to her side right now and looking rather concerned.
"Twilight, what exactly are you doing? You're making everypony nervous," Rainbow Dash pointed out.
Twilight blinked in confusion. What exactly was Rainbow Dash talking about? She wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary that would make anypony nervous. All she was doing was just sitting and thinking over Everything that had been going on up to this point. How could that make anypony nervous? It wasn't like she was... she blinked again as something came into her field of vision. Why was she using her magic to hold a butter knife covered in chocolate frosting and bits of candied sprinkles?
That was enough to give her pause, to say nothing of confusion. Setting the knife down next to the tray of cupcakes -apparently a victim of her own lack of attention, judging by the way the icing looked- she looked at the rest of the table she was standing in front of, and began to notice how everything looked. It looked very organized. And then she started to realize exactly what had been going on that caused their concern. She'd gone off on one of her tangents, and started mucking up the order of things in an effort to organize them better.
She sighed and closed her eyes, not as much out of surprise as it was disappointment. She was doing it again...
If anyone asked, they would be told of how she liked to have order and structure in her life. She liked things that went according to plan and by the book. she liked it when things came together in the manner that they should, and she really hated it when things didn't. She was neat, clean, tidy, orderly, organized, and very proud of it!
Unfortunately she had learned the hard way that organization, while good, had consequences. She had learned firsthoof how organization, when left unchecked, could become the equivalent of an autoimmune disease and cause debilitating effects to its host. When a mind bent on organization didn't have disorder to straighten out, that absolute need to organize didn't simply resign itself to the notion of a job well done, but rather started looking around for anything that'd been missed in the previous run through and needed to be addressed. Anything that stuck out as wrong regardless of the fact that just five minutes ago it'd been proper and decent.
Even the number of friends per species wasn't immune from such organization. Their little group, not counting Spike, had consisted of two unicorns, two earth ponies, and two pegasi. Everything divided up into neat, even little pairs. But if she made a friend with an outside earth pony, she found the need to do the same thing with an outside unicorn and pegasus as well, in order to try and keep the balance. The only reason she hadn't done the same with regard to Spike was because there were no other dragons to approach.
It was that overwhelming need for organization and structure that she attributed to her major screw up. To the event that had involved her making use of the "want it need it spell" in order to construct a friendship crisis for her to solve, in order to submit a friendship report to Celestia before missing her self-imposed Tuesday deadline.
After that things had been different. With the help of her friends, she'd realized that there had been a serious problem in need of being addressed. And along with that help there had been support, as they did everything in their power to help her try and relax, try and loosen up and let go of the need for absolute order in everyday life. That in itself had been a long, serious struggle, and had taken months of effort. They had done their darnedest to help her learn how to let go of controlling everything.
And to an extent they'd been able to do just that. With their help she'd been able to step down from the number of checklists she needed for day-to-day activities. She'd even been able to reduce the overall length of some of her checklists. And for less important matters, she'd even been able to bring herself to write her lists in shorthoof, rather than spelling everything out in extensive detail on the off chance that she forgot something to the extent that she needed to be walked back through the process of remembering it all. In her own opinion she'd made considerable progress in relaxing, even if others didn't see it. They had to understand that significant degrees of change took time to accomplish.
But now as she looked at her own work, she realized that maybe her progress wasn't as far along as she would've liked. Oh sure, she'd learned how to work on the fly when it was needed, but if she was unconsciously straightening things up around her, it was obvious that she had a lot of work to do on herself. This had to be the result of everything happening today in the way it had. As the saying went, old habits die hard. And if she was slipping back into old habits after so long, there must've been a good reason for it.
"I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash," she said and sighed as she opened her eyes. She couldn't blame the others for being concerned. She was about to say something else, but never got the chance to. As soon as she'd opened her mouth, she found it stuffed as one of the cupcakes on the tray had more or less been shoved in, with enough force driving it that she automatically closed her mouth in response, but not quick enough to bite down on whatever had done so. She immediately wanted to object to such treatment... but stopped short as the rich, delicious, chocolatey taste met with her tongue and served as an override switch to the more logical parts of her mind. Instead of a verbal complaint to being force fed, a contented "mmmm" of taste satisfaction was heard as she chewed, a look of temporary contentment on her face as her eyes drifted shut while she savored the flavor.
"I told you it'd work," she heard Rainbow Dash state confidently to nopony in particular.
"Surprisingly you were correct."
Rainbow Dash's statement wasn't anything out of the ordinary to Twilight. She was accustomed to Rainbow Dash's boasting and antics about one thing or another. However it was the following statement that caused her to pause in mid-chew and turn around to see it was Ulquiorra standing there. He'd been the one to stuff the cupcake in her mouth. Why exactly had he gone and done that?
"It would seem I was wrong to doubt you," he said as he looked past her and in Rainbow Dash's direction, before turning his gaze back to her, causing her to swallow anxiously out of reflex, downing the cupcake in the process as she met his eyes. And as she met his eyes she noticed that they somehow seemed... different. However she didn't have time to question this fact, he began addressing her directly. "Whatever has caused your concern, perhaps now isn't the most appropriate time for such."
Twilight couldn't help but look at Ulquiorra in a confused manner. This was so... so unlike him. Was this something that could be attributed to him taking his studies in friendship seriously? Or maybe he'd always been like this, and the previous cold and merciless approach had simply been an effort to maintain separation for whatever reason? It was all a mystery she couldn't answer right now. But at least it gave her something constructive to focus on. Wordlessly -and she'd admit, a bit dumbly- she nodded in agreement with his suggestion, all the while wondering just what exactly it was about him that seemed out of place. She couldn't put her hoof on anything specifically, whether it was his manner of speech, or his mannerisms, or even his posture, but there was just something about him that was... off...
For Ulquiorra it was strange to observe. How one cupcake could serve as sufficient distraction to interrupt behavior brought about by a psychological issue, he didn't have a clue. To interrupt obsessive compulsive behavior, the confectionery goods supplied for the party must have some significant quality to them. Perhaps there was more to their unappetizing appearance than he first assumed.
However that was neither here nor there. Whatever crisis had been starting to form, seemed sufficiently under control right now, and his immediate presence was no longer necessary to maintain order. There were a great many ponies suddenly interested in his presence again, and a few questions that could stand to be answered. With that in mind he slipped his hand back into his pockets and turned to take his leave.
Unbeknownst leaving a silent, wide-eyed Twilight staring at him as he walked away.
"Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked at seeing her friend be so still and so silent. Had they wound up doing something wrong, in trying to prevent a neurotic meltdown, and wound up making things worse? Was all of this her fault, as she was the one who talked Ulquiorra into using his speed to pop a cupcake into Twilight's mouth? She figured that if Twilight couldn't launch into some kind of explanation she'd have to focus on something else, and it'd be enough to stop her from slipping back into old habits. At first it seemed to work, but now she wasn't sure.
"Are... are you okay?" she asked.
"... He called me Twilight..." she stated slowly, never turning around to face her directly.
"Yeah? So? That's your name, right? Why wouldn't he call you Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked, now finding herself more confused rather than concerned. What was her friend going on about this time?
"Rainbow Dash," Twilight said as she turned around to face her with a look of concern, "I need your help in finding the others, but doing so in a tactful manner. Something is definitely up, and it could turn out to be something very bad if we don't get on top of it quickly..."
One by each, each member of their little group had been pulled away from what they were doing at the party. Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity, Spike, Fluttershy, and even Celestia and Luna had been collected from their own endeavors. Such was hardly as easy feat to perform, all things considered, but it'd been done regardless. And once they were all gathered, they were lead off to a less occupied corner of the barn at Twilight's insistence, giving them some measure of privacy without causing suspicion like walking out of the building would.
"Okay, Twilight, what exactly was this all about?" Rainbow Dash asked from where she stood. Trying to drag Pinkie away from a party, and quietly at that, was hardly the easiest thing in the world to do. Whatever it was that got the unicorn upset, it'd better be good. If there wasn't some immediate crisis right now then she was going to be upset.
"I think Ulquiorra's suffering from poison joke exposure," Twilight stated quietly yet bluntly. She was met by eight surprised and disbelieving faces in response to her statement, and an assortment of varying noises of confusion. But thankfully there were no loud outbursts that would cause shock throughout the entire barn. Taking that as a good sign, she continued. "I saw something on his wrist just as he was putting his hand away in his pocket, something that wasn't there before. Something partially obscured by the sleeve of his jacket, I think it was a blue spot but I couldn't be sure," she explained.
"A blue spot? Just one? That seems kinda weak to go on," Rainbow Dash pointed out. "When we traipsed through poison joke the first time, we were covered in blue spots. Shouldn't he be too?" she asked. She considered asking if it might be something like a tattoo that was seen. But she'd seed the Espada without his jacket on and knew for herself that the only marking he had was that number on the left side of his chest.
Twilight shook her head in response. "Not everypony who suffers from poison joke develops the telltale blue spots. You didn't, and neither did Applejack. It's not an exact science like mathematics, it's all dependent on multiple unexplained variables," she explained. That was one of the things that made poison joke exposure so hard to diagnose. Just because there were no spots on Ulquiorra's face, that didn't mean he wasn't infected.
"But Ulquiorra Cifer is not of this world, nor even of flesh and blood. How can a Hollow be affected in such a manner?" Luna asked curiously.
Truth be told Twilight was very curious about that as well. Ulquiorra's otherworldly nature left so many questions that just didn't seem to have any answers right now. She wasn't even sure if it would be possible to get any answers about how he interacted with the world around him. She wanted to explore that question in depth, but before she could get a word out edgewise, Applejack started talking and derailed her train of thought.
"So blue spot aside, wha' exactly makes ya think Mr. Cifer's been affected. He don' really seem any diff'rent than any other time," she pointed out.
"And I know that I'm no chemist, physician, or anything else that requires such a degree, but doesn't exposure to poison joke require the better part of a day for symptoms to manifest? Ulquiorra wasn't gone even two hours in the Everfree Forest. How could he be affected so quickly after possible exposure?" Rarity asked.
"That... is a very good question. I honestly don't have an answer though. Maybe he's just started being affected and it's still in the early stages. Maybe not being of this dimension makes him easily susceptible to it," Twilight replied. It was certainly a good question to ask. She knew from her own experience that out of all of them, Spike had a significantly greater allergic reaction to poison ivy exposure; so significant that he would start developing the telltale rash less than fifteen minutes after coming into contact with it, whereas they didn't. Maybe it was the same for Ulquiorra. But nevermind that right now, there was another question to answer!
"Look. I know that Ulquiorra still seems like this usual self. Cold, merciless, blunt and such, but there's something about him that's off. Something that I should've noticed on the way up here when he referred to me by my first name," she explained. Nopony seemed to catch on, meaning she had to continue in explanation. "From the moment I met him, Ulquiorra has been nothing if not consistent in his method of address. When he addresses someone, it's always by their full name or title, just like he was first introduced to them. But on the way up here it was just "Twilight" not "Twilight Sparkle" or anything like that. It's just... it's not him."
Slowly all nine heads turned in Ulquiorra's direction, observing his interaction with the others at the party. None of them could hear just what was being said, but it looked like he was having a conversation with Mrs. Cake at the moment.
"It's not just his manner of address that's off, either. Look at him. His posture isn't as rigid as usual. His facial features aren't as hard set as they usually are. And his eyes aren't as piercing as they were earlier in the day. And he's actually mingling with the others! It's like he's... relaxed or something," Twilight pointed out.
"And that's a bad thing?" Pinkie asked.
"Yea, Twilight, is it?" Spike asked. She was making it out to be a serious problem, but the way she was talking just didn't seem to match up with what she was trying to sell. It was like she was trying to explain two different books at the same time, but one kept overlapping the other and prevented it from happening in the way she wanted. "Ulquiorra's been serious from the moment he's gotten here, rigid as a piece of wood, and always suspecting that something wrong is going to appear just around the corner. Is it really a bad thing if he's suddenly calmer than before?"
"But he's not calmer, Spike, it's not of his own volition that he's acting this way. If he's suffering from poison joke exposure then his current actions aren't guided by his own desires, but by the fact that he's been drugged and is currently in an impaired state. Right now he's no different than a pony suffering from the side effects caused by narcotics," Twilight pointed out. How could anybody think that this was currently a good thing? This wasn't the Ulquiorra that they'd come to know. Just because he wasn't experiencing a drastic change like they had, that didn't mean that it wasn't wrong. Ulquiorra was sick and in an impaired state. "We need to go to Zecora's and get a poison joke antidote," she declared.
"Do we really need to?" Rainbow Dash asked, bringing several eyes toward her in the process. "I mean, I get that the dude isn't exactly himself, but is that really a bad thing? Look at him," she said as she gestured to where he stood, now apparently interacting with Ditzy Doo's two daughters, Dinky and Sparkler. From their vantage point, they didn't seem all that put off by him. "He's not acting like such a huge pain in the flank anymore. He's not hurling terms like "illogical" or "irrelevant" about all the time. He's actually taking an interest in the things other ponies are doing. How can that be a bad thing?"
"Are ya serious?" Applejack asked in surprise, her tone barely suppressed as she faced the cyan pegasus. "Mr. Cifer ain' 'imself. Jus' 'cuz he's bein' nicer don' mean that it's a'right ta leave 'im as is. He was finally takin' a good hard interest in wha' friendship is, and ya actually wanna leave 'im all doped up an' wacky 'cause ya like 'im tha' way? Tha' don' sound like friendship ta me one bit," she stated. And that wasn't saying anything of how dishonest the idea was.
Were there aspects to Ulquiorra's personality that she didn't like? Hay yes! But that didn't mean she wanted to use something like poison joke to change his abrasiveness into something more appealing. She would never even consider such a thing, never! And it appalled her to think that one of her friends would actually suggest such a thing; least of all the one who represented the Element of Loyalty. Where was the loyalty in using somepony like that?
"I'm quite inclined to agree. Leaving someone in need in an impaired stated simply isn't the proper way to do things," Rarity replied with a huff. However a moment later her expression changed to one that wasn't quite so indignant. "But at the same time, I must also admit that my curiosity is piqued on the matter. Just what is our dear guest like in this state? Shouldn't we at least evaluate the situation, gather information, and then determine how immediate a response is necessary?" she asked.
"Say what?" Twilight asked, confused now by what her friend was saying.
"When it comes to alcohol, there are ponies who can tolerate it, and there are those that can't. Some become tipsy after as little as a sip, others can down an entire magnum of champagne and carry on a perfectly intelligible conversation without missing a beat. And while Ulquiorra isn't a pony, and it's certainly not alcohol he's being affected by, I believe the principle is the same. We've only just suspected that he's under the affect of poison joke, and so far he's not displaying anything that would be considered dangerous or inappropriate behavior. No Ceros through the roof, no picking up and hurtling ponies across the room in a show of strength. We all know that he's immeasurably strong, but so far he seems to have sufficient control of his cognitive abilities to not be posing a threat to anyone present," Rarity explained as she looked back in his direction, noting how Dinky seemed to be laughing about something that was said. Somehow that tiny act seemed like proof of her concept as far as she was concerned. "I'm not saying that we should leave him this way, as it simply wouldn't be right. I'm just asking if we truly need to treat the situation like it's a full blown emergency. One spot and a slight change in demeanor does not a crisis make."
Twilight nodded slightly in understanding of what Rarity was saying. She'd read about the effects of alcohol on ponies, and how body chemistry, diet, and even time of consumption could all contribute to a pony's rate and degree of inebriation. But this was still uncharted territory to be in. Poison joke was unpredictable and there was no way of telling just how Ulquiorra might be affected. He might be just fine, but then again he might not. Waiting around could be risky.
"Um..." Fluttershy mumbled, almost too quietly to be heard over the background noise of the party. But regardless of that fact she had indeed been heard by those closest to her, all of whom were now watching her. Now she really wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. But she'd started to say something important, and she needed to finish it. "Is there... I mean... is it... um... would it really be a bad thing if we left Ulquiorra as he is? Just for a little while?" she asked.
Twilight was about to say something, but Luna raised her hoof in silent objection, signalling to let Fluttershy continue speaking without interruption.
"W-what I mean is..." she stuttered, pausing out of nervousness, "Ulquiorra's never gotten to experience happiness. You can tell just by listening to him talk. He doesn't know what it's like to have friends or anything like that and it's... it's just so sad. If we, I mean maybe we should, I mean..." she stopped and took a deep breath in an effort to steady herself. This was proving really hard to say. She needed to dig deep down and find the necessary strength to finish what she was saying. "Is there any harm in letting Ulquiorra stay like he is? Just for a few hours? If the poison joke is really relaxing him, and he's experiencing what it's like to not be uptight at all times... maybe he'd be able relax on his own when we get him the antidote? Maybe... maybe he could actually learn how to be happy?"
It'd taken so much strength to get it all out. And now that she had, she felt like she was going to collapse where she stood from sheer exhaustion. She felt something soft touching her back shortly after she finished speaking. Looking up she saw Luna's wing extended and draped over her back in support, a comforting smile on her face.
It wasn't the most eloquently worded argument Twilight had ever heard. But regardless of that fact, Fluttershy had added her two bits to the debate, and the reasoning behind her position. She would admit that it was certainly a novel idea to consider. But there was simply no way of telling what would happen. There was no way of even telling if Ulquiorra truly was relaxed, or if he simply appeared that way due to the poison joke's influence.
Right now there were a lot of differing opinions coming from everybody, and she didn't know how to sort this out. Right now there was only one option that came to mind that made sense. She turned to look at Celestia, seeing as she had the greatest deal of wisdom on difficult matters like this.
"What should we do, Princess?" she finally asked. She hadn't used that term of address with regard to Celestia in a while, and it felt strange to do so again after such an absence. But at the exact same time it felt right under these circumstances. They were in need of a ruler right now, not a friend.
"What do you think we should do, Twilight?" Celestia asked after a momentary pause, putting the question right back on her. "This is a very unique situation right now. This is the type of situation a ruler must face every day, where there are no easy answers available. I could certainly give my opinion on the matter, but as I said we're not here in an official capacity," she explained.
"But-" Twilight began to protest but was cut off.
"Just for the time being, Twilight, let's pretend that you are a Princess, and must make a decision for your subjects since they've sought out your wisdom," Celestia stated. The amused look on Luna's face at her statements was certainly not missed by her, but she chose to ignore it for the time being. "You've been presented with a problem, and the others have all presented their points of view. We know that we can't allow Ulquiorra to be impaired indefinitely. Nor will we consider such an approach The question relies purely on the short term right now. How do we best address the problem, and what should our course of action be? How do you believe we should address the situation?"
To put in simple terms, Twilight didn't know exactly what to think right now. This reminded her a great deal of the setup to the entire Crystal Kingdom mess. She'd been told that she had to face an important test, freaked out over it, and then discovered just what that test was.
But that had been before the major cluster fuck of last week where everything had been turned upside down, to an extent that even Discord would turn green with envy over. After that complication she didn't really know how to feel. This question she was presented with didn't generate the same freakout response she had back then.
Not that such a fact made the situation any easier to deal with. It just changed the feel of everything. In the end they were still faced with the same problem as previously; Ulquiorra was more than likely suffering from poison joke affliction, her friends were divided over just what the proper course of action was, and Celestia thought that it was best to put her in charge of the decision making.
"Come on, Twilight, this is where the rubber meets the road. It's decision making time, and apparently your intellect is the one everypony is counting on," she told herself in an effort construct a motivational speech. Unfortunately it wasn't doing much good. "Alright forget the motivational speech. Try to stop thinking about the fact that Ulquiorra's a friend, and everypony is wanting to leave him as is for one reason or another. Let's look at this from a logical, scientific approach. We've got Ulquiorra, an Espada, a life form not indigenous to any region of Equestria, and he's been exposed to poison joke. We have no idea how he's being affected, or even if he is being affected. It's all just mere speculation at this point. There's no telling what the long term of this situation is. For all we know Ulquiorra's Hollow nature might allow him to overcome infection at an accelerated rate... meaning that even if we went to Zecora's right now, he might be cured by the time we get back. Maybe... as much as you hate to admit that you're thinking about it right now... maybe this is a good opportunity to gather scientific evidence first..."
So much for trying to sort things out in her head. She was quickly realizing that she was as bad as the rest of them. Here Ulquiorra was afflicted and possibly suffering, and she was willing to make an experiment out of him for her own selfish purposes. What kind of friend was that?
At least she wasn't completely alone in such a fact. Maybe she could take solace in that fact, as she turned to face them all directly.
"Alright," she said and paused to take a breath, "the first course of business is talk to Ulquiorra and see how he currently feels. If he doesn't show any signs of distress, then we'll step back and observe, and allow him to continue operating in his current state as we observe. If all is well with him, we'll give him the duration of the party so he can continue his interactions, in hopes that his time under the poison joke will be somehow beneficial once he's cured. Maybe he can learn new experiences, maybe not. I just don't know. But how we respond should be based upon what's best for Ulquiorra right now, not what is it that we want. If he expresses discomfort for his current state, we go for the antidote. If he starts displaying any signs of becoming dangerous, we immobilize him and go for the antidote before he can hurt anypony. But until then we just play it by ear, observe, and hope for the best," she explained, finding it quite easy to slip into the leader role despite her own uncertainty. "And may Faust forgive me for deciding to use Ulquiorra as a lab rat. I am so, so sorry..."
Celestia said nothing, but gave a comforting smile as she reached out with a feathery wing to stroke her mane along her neck. She really didn't want to put Twilight in such a difficult position, but such positions were common for those in charge, and that was something that she'd need to learn and understand, and do so soon.
"And how do we determine if Ulquiorra Cifer is under the affects of poison joke without rousing suspicion?" Luna asked them. Now that the decision was made, she wanted to see what happens next.
"I'm quite certain that we'll figure something out. In the meantime though, we should probably get back to the party so as to not rouse suspicion. If we simply loiter here in the corner others will wonder what's up," Rarity replied. And besides being suspicious, she really didn't want to appear as standoffish.
They had a plan and a course of action selected. Now all they needed to do was wait and see how things progressed before moving any further. With a nod the nine went back to mingling, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary, leaving none the wiser as to what was gone on.
None except for three sets of ears that had just happened to be at the right place at the wrong time, unseen the whole time as their presence had been obstructed by several large bails of hay...
"So what exactly are we doing out here?"
Outside of the barn, and away from the festivities, the Cutie Mark Crusaders had gathered in order to talk uninterrupted by what was taking place inside. There were simply too much noisy adults present for them to have a conversation without being interrupted or eavesdropped on. Often times that was par for course with them. But what wasn't par for the course was the fact that both Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were also present; being more or less dragged out of the barn had left them little choice in the matter.
"And why exactly did you dumb blank flanks have to involve us anyway?" Diamond Tiara asked, annoyed beyond all measure at how she'd been so unceremoniously involved in all of this.
"Wha's goin' on is Mr. Cifer's sufferin' from poison joke. An' the adults 're jus' leavin' him tha' way," Apple Bloom explained. Even after saying it, even after actually hearing it for herself, she still couldn't believe that it was the truth. Even her own sister was going along with such a scheme? That was just plain unacceptable, "So wha' we're gonna do is take care o' business ourselves. An' you're gonna help us do jus' that," she concluded, emphasizing the last part by pointing her hoof at the two stuck up fillies, much to their surprise and disbelief.
Scootaloo nodded in agreement. "You're gonna come with us to Zecora's, you're gonna help us gather ingredients for a potion, and you're gonna help us bring back an antidote to cure him," she added.
"Oh yeah? And why should we do any of that for the likes of you?" Diamond Tiara asked.
"Because ya owe Mr. Cifer, tha's why. If it weren't fer him ya never woulda known Silver Spoon was replaced by a changeling," Apple Bloom pointed out.
"What?" Silver Spoon asked as she turned to face her best friend. "Diamond is that true? You honestly couldn't tell me apart from one of those icky changelings?"
"I thought you had a sore throat and that's why you weren't talking," Diamond Tiara protested in defense of her actions.
"And besides owing him, you owe us. Don't forget that we're the ones that actually found where they stashed Silver Spoon and the others," Scootaloo was quick to point out, not even stopping to consider that they finally had something to hold over their heads. Not even stopping to let the drama play out between the two over the revelation that one friend couldn't recognize when the other wasn't who they were supposed to be.
Sweetie Belle nodded. "Helping us help Ulquiorra would be the best course of action for everyone all around. I really don't think it would be a good reflection on the two of you, if it were ever discovered that you two didn't at least try to help somebody that's regarded as a national hero two times over," she pointed out, deciding that if they were going to make use of their assistance, the best course of action would be to paint the situation in terms that they could fully understand. "What would the rest of the class, nevermind the town, say if they found out it was three blank flanked fillies who were the only ones that chose to do the right thing, while everyone else let a hero continue to operate in an impaired state?"
"Not that we've got anything against that. If you wanna hang back and miss out on the awesomeness of being heroes, that's fine by us. But things would go a lot faster with a couple extra sets of helping hooves," Scootaloo stated. It was definitely an interesting situation to find themselves in; either they could keep all the glory for themselves and do the right thing, or they could share the glory and see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon covered in mud, tree sap, and whatever else they had to crawl through in order to get the necessary ingredients.
Either way they really couldn't lose. It was more or less a matter of preference, like choosing between rocky road or chocolate chunk vanilla ice cream; you couldn't go wrong regardless of the choice.
"But that witch lives in the Everfree Forest. It's too dangerous for a bunch of fillies like us to be running around in unsupervised," Silver Spoon pointed out.
Apple Bloom frowned at this. "First off Zecora's not a witch, she's a shaman," she stated, not liking the term that'd been used to describe somepony she liked to consider as a friend. "Second of all, fightin' dragons is dangerous too, but Mr. Cifer did tha' regardless o' the fact. He saved Ponyville an' all o' us at the very least. If we can' rise ta the occasion when he needs somepony's help, wha' exactly does that say about us?"
Nopony said a word in opposition after that, knowing full well that Apple Bloom was right. They were dealing with somepony -somebody as he would say- that was a hero in so many ways, who was experiencing his own time of need, and the others were doing nothing to help him despite knowing that he was in need. And if the adults weren't going to do anything beneficial, then it fell on them to pull up the slack! At least that's how the Crusaders saw it from their own view of the world.
"But shouldn't we at least let some adults know what we're going to do, before we actually do it?" Silver Spoon asked. The three turned to look at her as if she'd just asked the dumbest thing that could ever be asked. "I mean, we're talking about heading into the Everfree Forest by ourselves, without adult supervision. Don't you think it'd be wise to have somepony know in case they need to start looking for us next?"
"Don't be a foal," Scootaloo replied dismissively as she gestured toward the barn and through the space between the barely open doors. "Haven't you seen what's going on in there? All the adults are under some kinda spell or something. They like him this way even though it's not the real him. If we told them what we were doing they'd probably stop us from doing the right thing."
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looked at each other and blinked in disbelief. Trying to talk sense into these three was impossible! They were dead set on this crazy idea, and there didn't seem to be anything they could do to stop them from going through with it.
"Stay here, go, I don't care really. Standing around and talking won't get us anywhere. I'm outta here," Scootaloo stated and took off at full gallop, anxious to do something constructive.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle didn't say anything as they took off, eager to catch up with their friend and fellow crusader. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon just continued to look at each other.
"Well Diamond, what do we do now?" Silver Spoon finally asked. Sometimes it was wise to lead, but in other times -times like this- it was best to follow. Surely Diamond Tiara knew what the best course of action would be; she was the oldest after all.
"... You know they're right, don't you?" Diamond Tiara asked after what felt like a five minute pause, as she desperately tried to make sense of everything. "It'd be bad for us if they got the glory and we didn't. That'd make it so much harder to say anything to them if they got a medal or something," she pointed out, feeling repulsed for just thinking of such a ridiculous thing. "Besides that, if they go get themselves killed, all our hard work won't even amount to a pile of manure."
At that statement Silver Spoon frowned, and she frowned hard. Diamond Tiara had a very good point right there. And it was a point she knew better than almost anypony.
To an uninitiated outsider, what she and Diamond Tiara did to others might look like stereotypical bullying done by the well off at the expense of those decidedly less well off, all for their own amusement. And while neither one of them could -or would- deny that at least part of what they did was based on that simple concept, there was a much deeper aspect to their interactions. Perhaps the simplest way of trying to explain it was to say it was a form of tough love. Locate a target, infuriate them with criticism over some field of insufficiency, then stand back and observe the resulting developments. Sometimes the only way to get others motivated to succeed in their endeavors, was to get them riled up to the point they strive for success out of pure spite. Some cases were just difficult like that.
Besides, considering how nonsensical those three could be, they needed all the motivation they could get if they were going to succeed at anything; especially if that was getting their cutie marks. Sometimes they were simply too apathetic to strive for success on their own.
They'd invested far too much of their own time into those three blank flanks, laughing at their expense while simultaneously driving them to try harder at what they did -which sometimes lead to very amusing results, again at their expense- to just throw it all away now. Besides that, if they got killed then they'd never have the chance to rub it in their faces how they'd been the driving force that motivated them to get their cutie marks.
"Well what the hay are we waiting for?" Silver Spoon asked before charging ahead to catch up with the others. She wasn't about to throw away all her hard efforts for nothing.
Diamond Tiara didn't say anything and simply followed after Silver Spoon, to make sure her friend would stay alright, and to make sure the others didn't die on this ridiculous quest.
"There'd better be a medal and recognition for doing this..." she thought to herself, before following after them.