“Stupid pony no meat menu.”
Gilda groused as she scanned the all vegetarian menu. It wasn’t like she was there for the food, but still, ugh. Still, at least the menu provided her with something to hide behind while she eyed the table across from her. Not that she needed much concealment given how fixated on one another the table’s occupants were.
“So then Cloud Kicker said, ‘But Rainbow Dash, the regulations say that you can’t put a thundercloud near the water hole during summer!’ And I went, ‘Oh whatever Cloud Kicker, earth ponies can survive a few lightning bolts.’ And can you believe she said something about a conduct complaint? Ugh, I’m telling you Fluttershy, there is something wrong with that mare.”
Fluttershy listened to Rainbow Dash’s rant without a word, lost in her beloved’s purple eyes. Finally she realized that Rainbow Dash had paused and was expecting some sort of reply. She started and said, “Oh, wow, that’s so unreasonable. You’re totally right to be upset.”
Rainbow Dash heaved a long sigh that caused the flowers sitting on the center of the table to wilt slightly. “I know, right? I’m boss of the weather patrol and that means that what I say goes!” She tried to make a stern face but found herself getting dizzy and fell back into her seat. Fluttershy patted her shoulder.
“There there Dashie, you don’t have to deal with her today. Let’s relax.”
She signaled with her other hoof. “Waiter? Another glass of wine.”
“May I take your order now?” said a voice directly behind Gilda.
“GAAH!” Gilda said wittily, ripping the menu in half and nearly jumping out of her chair in surprise. Gilda craned her head around and found herself beak to snout with the waiter who had given her the menu. She snarled, “Whaddya do that for?! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”
The words came out perhaps more loudly than was conducive to stealth. About half the restaurant turned to stare at her. Including the ponies she was trying to spy on.
“It’s Gilda! Hey Fluttershy, you remember Gilda?”
Gilda groaned and raised a claw in reluctant greeting. “Hey Dash. Uh, funny meeting you here? How it hanging?”
“Oh same as always! Just getting a bite with my number one filly friend, Fluttershy. Come on over here!”
“What?!” Fluttershy meeped under her breath. She tried to force a smile. “Dashie, I’m sure Gilda would rather we not interrupt her evening. She’s probably waiting for somepony. Right Gil—“
Fluttershy looked back up and Gilda was already sliding into a seat across from her and next to Rainbow Dash. She fought to keep the smile plastered on her face as Gilda propped her elbows on the table and said, “Oh not at all. I was, uh, planning to meet someone, but he turned out to be a total lame-o and didn’t show. She gave Fluttershy a predator’s smile. “And how’re you two?”
Fluttershy turned her head slightly and whispered, “Dashie, don’t you remember the last time she was invited somewhere with us?”
Rainbow Dash’s mood darkened instantly. “Yeah! What’s the big idea Gilda?”
Gilda sighed and cupped her forehead with her claws. “I already said the other night, I’m sorry, okay? Can we just put it behind us?”
Rainbow Dash stared for a few seconds longer, then hiccupped. “Let bygones be bygones!” she said, throwing her hooves out wide and sending her empty wine glass tumbling to the floor in the process. The fragile flagon shattered on the hardwood before. Fluttershy’s grin was becoming more brittle by the second.
“Oh, well,” she said through gritted teeth. “I suppose I can’t argue with that.” Her eyes narrowed. “And what brings you back to Ponyville?”
“Oh, well, you know, didn’t want to leave things unsettled,” Gilda said in a rehearsed speech that had sounded a lot smoother in front of her hotel room mirror. She stretched casually. “So Dash, why don’t you introduce us? Buttershy and I got off on the wrong foot.”
“It’s Fluttershy,” the pink-maned pegasus pony said, glaring daggers at the gryphon.
“Whatever,” Gilda said, waving her paw dismissively.
“Oh right!” Rainbow Dash said, “Gilda, this is my new marefriend, Fluttershy.”
Gilda, who had stolen Fluttershy’s wine glass when she sat down and had just started glugging it down, spat the golden fluid out across the table. It landed right in Fluttershy’s face.
“Say what Dash? Since when do you swing that way?”
Rainbow Dash grinned happily and threw a forehoof over her dripping companion’s shoulder. “Since a month ago! Ever since then everything has been one hundred percent awesome!” she said, practically singing the last word. Fluttershy brushed her suddenly wet mane out of her face and nuzzled her softly.
“That’s right,” she said, giving Gilda a look. “Dashie told me how she felt about me one night and we’ve been together ever since.”
“But, I, you, how, what?”
“I know, right?” Rainbow Dash said, oblivious to the tension. “Isn’t it great?”
“But…you aren’t into mares.”
Fluttershy stiffened suddenly. “Dashie has had some revelations about herself lately. And she’s very happy with her new perspective on life.”
“Dash, I’ve known you since we were fillies,” Gilda said, ignoring Fluttershy. “Where the hell did this come from?”
Rainbow Dash blinked slowly. “Uhm, ever since that party Pinkie Pie threw. Lessee, that was, uhm.”
“A month ago?” Fluttershy supplied.
“Yeah, a month ago.”
Gilda stared for a minute longer, then shrugged. “Well I guess if it makes you happy. Just surprised is all. You always got angry when other ponies said you were into mares, and the only time I ever remember you coming remotely close to lezzing out was that time we snuck behind the bleachers at flight camp and drank that—wait. Dash, are you drunk?”
“No way!” Rainbow Dash said exuberantly, throwing her forehooves out wide again. She fell back into her chair and started giggling manically.
Gilda face-clawed again. “Dash, it’s not even noon yet, why are you drunk? This isn’t like you. I practically had to twist your wing just to get you to try knocking a few back that one time.”
Fluttershy rose suddenly. “Oh look at the time. We’ve got to go. Dashie, remember we have the thing at the place?”
Rainbow Dash looked back at her blearily. “But Gilda’s—“
Fluttershy was already pulling Rainbow Dash out of her chair. “The thing,” she said evenly, emphasizing the word. “At the place.”
Gilda started to rise herself. “Hey wait a second, what’s going on here, something’s not right about—“
Suddenly Gilda found her beak clanging shut as Fluttershy’s eyelids opened wide. She felt her body go rigid with sudden, stark terror and suddenly everything went blank.
When she regained her senses Gilda was sitting alone at the table. Rainbow Dash and the yellow pegasus were gone. She shook her head in confusion.
“What, how, ARRRGGGGGGHHH!”
Gilda let out a leonine roar of frustration. When she was done she ignored the waiters and patrons staring at her and narrowed her eyes to slits. Whatever the buck was going on, she was going to find out.