Sweet Apple Acres: For Sale by Owner

by Velvet_Divan


Dead Wood

Chapter Two

After a night of deep dreamless sleep, the cock crowing brought me awake with a start. That happened more and more lately. I used to rise on my own before old Hen-pecker even started warming up, ready and raring to go. Now it seemed that no matter how much sleep I got, I never wanted to roll out of bed.

"Enough of that," I growled, shoving the blankets off and sliding to the floor. "Ah ain't gonna take this lying down. Ah can still move, Ah can still think, and that means Ah can still do something about this."

But what? I tugged out my ribbons and gave my mane a quick brushing, really just corralling the blonde mass while I mulled things over. I'd done all I could to control our expenses, so to increase profits we either needed more product to sell or we needed to squeeze more profit out of the existing product. Since the latter seemed impossible from where I stood, I focused on the former. The west orchard had stood untended for years thanks to the fruit bat infestation.

"If Ah cut the dead wood out of there, get Fluttershy to move the bats, and planted new trees, we could get a good chunk of the farm back!"

I didn't run the numbers in my head. I was scared they wouldn't add up to be enough to stem the tide of red in the books, and I needed to stay positive today. Popping my Stetson back atop my head, I clip-clopped downstairs, sure-hooved even in the dim, gray light of the early morning.

In the kitchen I rattled around, quickly throwing together some pancake batter. Mac was soon a silent presence beside me, setting a skillet on the stove and floating a pat of butter across its worn iron surface. While I began pouring and flipping, he set the table. The quiet clatter of dishes, the thud of a water pitcher and the musical chiming of flatware helped put me at ease. Familiar, safe, routines like this made it feel like nothing would ever change here on the farm. I would always have Mac to back me up, and in a few more years, Apple Bloom would be of age to pull her weight and then some.

As the last pancake left the skillet, tucked beneath a towel on the waiting plate, I spent an extra moment mixing together some cinnamon and sugar in a mug. I brought both to the table before waking Granny, still snoozing in her chair, and calling up the stairs to the youngest member of the family.

"Apple Bloom, pancakes! They're better hot, y'know." I listened until I heard her door open, then returned to the table to tuck in.

My appetite was better than it had been for a while, and I managed three pancakes and a glass of cider before my stomach let me know in no uncertain terms that I was done. Doing the cooking myself, it was easier to hide the fact I hadn't been eating as much. Knowing I would eat less, I just made less, and there were no tell-tale leftovers.

Apple Bloom slid up into her seat just as I was finishing. Granny had managed to cut her first pancake in half, and was working on quartering it. Mac was working on his eighth.

"Mornin' Apple Bloom. Hope y'have fun at school today. Ah'm gonna get out to the west orchard and start some clean-up out there." I pointed in the vague direction of the orchard with a sticky fork. "It's high time we took it back from the fruit bats and got some use out of those trees!"

"Wha-a-a-a-t? All those fruit bats? Gracious, what will you do with 'em?" Granny blinked at me across the table, knife and fork drooping from their elastic bands around each hoof.

"Ah'm hoping Fluttershy will have an answer there. Ah don't want to hurt 'em particularly, but it is a matter of our su—our livelihood. T'day Ah think it'll just be clearin' dead wood though. We can make barrels outta that, maybe do some repairs on the barn as well. Waste not,"

"Want not," muttered Apple Bloom, before stuffing half a pancake into her mouth all at once. Well, it looked like the filly would be holding a bit of a grudge for a while. It wasn't like her to be anything but sunny in the mornings.

"Need any help, AJ?" Mac rumbled, finally pushing his plate away.

I shook my head, sliding out of my seat and making for the door. "No, though m'afraid you'll have to cover for me today. If Ah run into a two-pony saw job I'll call on ya. Later we can work to get the stumps out, together."

Leaving the rest of the family to their breakfast, I slipped out into the cold humid morning, my breath clouding before me. I ducked into the barn long enough to grab a coil of rope and an axe, then set off for the west orchard at a gallop. Nothing better to get the muscles warmed up, and the sooner I got started the better.

As I crossed an open stretch of ground, frozen grass crackling beneath my hooves, I couldn't help but remember the hayride I'd arranged last year for the Apple family reunion. I couldn't hold in a wistful sigh, remembering how gorgeous it had started. Like so many things I'd attempted though it had ended in disaster.

"Now buck up, mopey-marie. It ended up alright. You can pull this one out too with enough hard work!" I skidded to a stop beneath the edge of the untended portion of the farm, squinting into the depths of the orchard. These trees hadn't been trimmed for years and an overgrown canopy had formed, allowing gloomy shade to collect beneath the interwoven branches and leaves.

Dawn shone behind me, and a ray of sunlight picked out a tree that would never bear fruit again. Its limbs were nude of leaves, and many of its branches had already splintered and fallen as the dead wood gave beneath the pressure of the living trees crowding around it. I swept off my hat, nodding at the sad specimen.

"So sorry it came to this, fella. But you can still do us some good." I replaced my hat, then craned my neck to seize the axe from my back. I tugged the straps on tight, then braced one foreleg on the trunk before swinging the other, the blade biting into the wood. Chips flew, and I pulled free for another blow. The sound of my axe bounced off the other trees. Sleepy chirps and squeaks teased my ears as the bats in the trees stirred.

A rushing wind blew my hat off my head, and sent leaf litter sailing across the orchard floor. "What in tarnation?"

"Applejack! There you are." Rainbow Dash punched down through the canopy, scattering more leaves in a careless and painful-looking landing. "Y'gotta come with me right now! A bunch of diamond dogs are attacking Ponyville!"

I unbuckled the axe and left it leaning against the tree, casting a couple backward glances at it while trailing Rainbow out from beneath the trees. "Huh? What for? Are they after Rarity again?"

"I dunno, but they panicked the cows into stampeding again, and...let's just get you there."

Rainbow flapped her wings enough to hover, then shot forward, curved around above, and scooped me up beneath my forelegs. In seconds we were higher than I cared to be, headed for town. I could already hear the faint sounds of chaos below: thin shrieks and wavering shouts.

"Do other towns weather a disaster every other week, or is it just Ponyville?" I bawled over the wind roaring past us.

Rainbow shrugged, veering right towards the border of town and the cow pastures. "Cloudsdale was always pretty quiet, for a town where they make thunder. I guess there used to be more flying monsters, but that was back in grandpa's time." She sounded a bit put out about missing the 'excitement' of battling great flying beasts.

Flying lower now, we could see the colorful flashes of Twilight's magic at work, and once, the report of Pinkie's party cannon. "What, we're fightin' a pitched battle here? We couldn't scare the varmints off, or lure them away, or..." I trailed off. The diamond dogs had bunched into a pack, and—

"AJ, there's more to the story, but no time for that now! They're digging behind cover! They're gonna flank the others! Here, I'm going to come in low and fast and let you go. Tuck and roll!"

"Bowling for dogs? Heh. Ah like—whoa!" Rainbow put words into action sooner than I expected, and her hooves slipped from beneath me. I tucked myself together as fast as possible, leaning in, and hit the first diamond dog with enough force to knock the breath from me.

Both the dog and I kept rolling, crashing into the snarling—soon yelping—ranks of canines, revealing the hole and the danger to the other girls.

I sprang to my hooves as soon as I could tell which direction was up, and sprinted sideways. Since that wasn't at all my plan, I was sprawled on the grass again in seconds, shaking my head and grousing. "C'mon, y'ain't got time to be dizzy!"

An enormous dog, wearing a collar big enough for me to use as a hula hoop, loomed up on my right. I twisted and bucked towards him, but the strike fell short; my depth-perception was off while the world spun. Worse, the brute grabbed my legs while they were extended.

He had about two seconds to enjoy his triumph, grinning wider than anyone with teeth that bad ought to, before a multi-colored streak knocked him head over tail. Rainbow didn't stick around to see how much damage she'd done, but rocketed off towards the next standing target.

Hooves thundered behind me, and in seconds the other girls slid or leaped into defensive positions all around. Pinkie gave me a hoof up, and helped keep me vertical until the grass stopped moving on its own.

"Are you okay, Applejack? That was...pretty impressive, but seriously dangerous!" Twilight stepped closer to peer into each of my eyes. "So it was Rainbow's idea, wasn't it?"

I nodded, and shrugged. "Worked, din'nit it? Have they all run off?" I gave Pinkie a pat and she released me so I could stand tall, craning my neck to peer about.

Rarity scowled off towards their territory. "The ghastly beasts have retreated for now, it seems." She scraped a hoof through the grass like she'd enjoy nothing better than to charge after them and finish what we'd started.

"What were they doin' here anyhow? They've never—"

"Look out!" Rainbow Dash hollered down at us, drawing five pairs of eyes up to the sky. The pegasus was pointing off to the south, and when we squinted across the pasture in that direction I could spot a few puffs of dust.

"Oh land's sakes, Ah forgot about the stampede." I planted a hoof on my face, then slid it back to see if my rope was still slung on me. It was, thank Celestia.

Fluttershy spoke up, hovering near us ground-bound ponies. "Should I try to...?"

"Even if they were animals and not people 'Shy, once you panic the herd, there's no reasoning with 'em, largely. You could go fetch Winona for me though, sugarcube. That'd be a big help!"

"Oh, o-of course! Be right back." Fluttershy flitted off towards the farm. I might be able to head the herd off myself, but if it headed in the wrong direction and I failed, the town wouldn't appreciate me getting it right on the second go-around.

"Twi, can you zap yourself and the others outta here? Ah've got a handle on this." I let a little note of boasting creep into my tone as I spoke to my friends, the three fidgeting nervously as the sound of several dozen hooves rumbled closer and closer.

"Absolutely. We'll be rooting for you, AJ!" Twilight closed her eyes, dipped her head, and a magenta pin-point flared from the tip of her horn into a sphere large enough to encapsulate both unicorns and a party-pony. The sphere and the ponies within vanished, air collapsing in to fill the void left behind.

I broke into a gallop towards the edge of the pasture, readying the rope as I ran. Tying a knot hooves-free, on the run, is a perfect example of sports coming in handy in everyday life.

"Not that Ah think this should be everyday life, consarn it." I was close enough now to see the cows' wide eyes. The breath from the herd boiled up from gaping mouths and blowing nostrils, combining into a roiling cloud above the panicked cattle. The herd raced after one particularly-spooked individual who tossed her head and lowed like a Diamond Dog was biting her tail-end.

"Miss Clover again? Ah sure wish that gal would start...Ah dunno, drinkin' tea or something. She's strung higher than a kite caught in a redwood." I grimaced, planning my approach, when Fluttershy flapped in beside me. Winona squirmed from her grasp and dropped the last foot to the grass.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry Winona! Are you okay?" The trembling pegasus reached out a hoof towards the collie, who wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to her solicitous yellow air-taxi.

My faithful dog raced through the grass, still crackling with morning frost, circling around behind the mass of stampeding cattle. We had them bracketed now, and with nudges from either side, we turned them away from town degree by degree.

When I saw it wasn't going fast enough to keep at least some of the herd from making it onto the bridge into town, I poured on some speed, muscles burning, and headed to the front of the pack. A quick toss of the rope and I had my own personal Clover to steer. I could swear she shot me an almost-apologetic look as I dragged her head around, and where her head went, her body followed. Where Clover went, the herd followed, and soon they were running out the last of their mad dash back through the pasture, where no diamond dogs lingered.

I had forgotten about the holes they'd been digging there, though. One cow simply vanished, dropping totally out of sight as earth collapsed beneath her hooves. Another face-planted into the dirt as her forehooves plunged down into nothing.

The herd did not react well to this, and what had become a rather half-hearted stampede ramped back up to full speed in seconds with terrified moos rolling through the air. I sighed, and called on my legs to pump me out ahead of the pack, and blinked in disbelief as the distance continued to close between us. I tried harder, and realized I was having trouble feeling my legs.

Before I could panic and go down beneath the hooves of the frightened cows, a blast of wind stirred my mane and a familiar grasp settled beneath my forelegs. Rainbow pulled me up and away, Winona still running alongside the cattle, barking away.

"AJ, what happened? Fluttershy's helping out the cows that found those, er, holes, but we've still gotta do something about—"

"Ah know, Ah know. I, uh, got a cramp." It happens. She might buy it. "Listen Rainbow, Ah could use your help on this one. After you put me down again in front, bracket 'em opposite from Winona, herd 'em into their enclosure. Maybe goin' 'home' will help."

The final attempt worked, and my legs didn't quite give out before the herd stumbled to a standstill within the 'safe' boundaries of white fencing. I removed my hat and fanned myself with it, my mane soaked with sweat, while the other girls trotted over to join Rainbow and me.

"That was...well, I'm glad we're mostly—" Twilight glanced over her shoulder at the two cows Fluttershy was tending to, "—all safe." One was making its way over to her herd, snorting and blowing out earth, but the other was limping badly.

"Ah'm sorry all. Ah plumb forgot about those holes."

"No no, I should have filled them in before I left!" Twilight hung her head.

"And I should have invited the diamond dogs to the last party I threw, so they didn't end up so grumpy and grabby!" Pinkie swooned over onto the grass, face twisted with exaggerated guilt. Rarity nodded the tiniest bit in approval.

"I guess Pinkie's right. We can all try to soak up the blame, but really we did what we could with a bad situation." Twilight Sparkle laid a foreleg across her breast and let out a long breath.

I had seen Twilight do that a few times, and figured she had learned it from a self-help book or some-such. I wondered if it actually helped. Wincing, I took my weight off the fence I was leaning on and took a few steps. My legs really did feel like cramping up now.

"Ah need to talk to Fluttershy for a minute, y'all." I traded a hoofbump with Rainbow on my way by, and made it over to the yellow pegasus at an amble, at best.

I swept my hat off before the injured cow, ears splayed wide. "Ah'm very sorry ma'am. Ah should have steered y'all clear of those holes,"

The bovine raised her head to blink at me, trying to balance on three legs while holding one hindleg extended for Fluttershy.

"I...well, I can't say I've had worse really, but it's alright. I'm going to tail-swat Clover 'til the...'til we come home, though! I'm so sick of this 'high alert' nonsense!" The cow blew a breath out between her lips, rolling her eyes.

Fluttershy finished winding a bandage around her leg beneath the knee. "Okay Thistle, try to keep most of your weight off of it for the rest of this week. I'll bring you ice-packs every so often to keep the swelling down. If the pain gets too bad, I'll have Candy Striper bring you something."

We watched Thistle go, both of us wincing at her slow, careful progress. I turned to Fluttershy, and nosed her shoulder.

"Thanks for your help t'day hon. Ah hate to impose on y'again so soon after, but could you do me a big favor tomorrow?"

Fluttershy tilted her head. "What's that, Applejack? Do you have a sick critter?"

"No, just some unwelcome ones. Ah'd like to relocate the fruit bats in our west orchard to...well, anywhere that isn't Sweet Apple Acres honestly. We really need that part of the farm productive again, and we can't work around the bats, sad to say."

"Hmm. There are a few fruiting trees at the border of the Everfree forest, near my cottage, but a lot of my animal friends there depend on those already." She tilted her head, eyes drifting sky-ward in thought. "There are a few sites that might work, but I would need to ask the animals already living there if they mind new neighbors. With one or two animals it really isn't a problem. I can talk with everyone and smooth things out, but with this many?" Fluttershy shook her head, wings drooping. "I'm sorry Applejack, but this might take a while. That's a lot of bats."

I heaved a sigh, but nodded. I knew Fluttershy would do the job right, and make sure the critters ended up happy.

Fluttershy brushed me with a wingtip. "There's, um, actually another problem. They have to be moved before it gets too cold, because they bunch up to conserve heat, and then it's nearly impossible to move them." She smiled a tiny bit. "It's actually really adorable. When they're clinging all together from one tree like they do, it looks like one big apple, or sometimes strawberry; it depends on how many bats are in the colony."

I struggled to produce a thoughtful smile. "Anyways, Ah appreciate it, sugarcube."

We started wandering back towards the others in time to hear Rarity insisting we all hit the spa. "Look at these grass stains! And besides, I need something to balance out the horror of those beasts breaking into my shop." Rarity shuddered, summoned her fainting-couch, and sprawled back into its plush embrace.

I settled back on my haunches, resting my legs. I still felt a little shaky. "So they were after you again, Rares?"

Twilight shook her head, bangs swinging. "Not her specifically, just her gems."

Rarity waved her hooves above her head, eyes wide, like she was signaling the fates to examine the bad hand she'd been dealt. "I'd been receiving shipments for a commission, and perhaps the route took the gems past diamond dog territory? I don't know, I just know they zeroed right in on the Carousel Boutique and caused unfathomable damage!"

Rainbow dropped down beside me, leaned in close and whispered in my ear. "They knocked over two ponyquins, unrolled a bolt of fabric, and left a cupboard door open."

I wasn't sure whether to sigh or laugh, but there was no sense in upsetting Rarity any further, so I went with a sympathetic moue. "Ah'm shocked they'd come into town, bold as brass like that."

"Actually, they tunneled in from the outskirts. The ground has collapsed in a couple of places." Twilight frowned. "They must've been in a real hurry and didn't shore their tunnel up. When we all converged on the boutique, I did try to reason with them, but that big one just howled over everything I said!"

Rarity patted Twilight's shoulder while the alicorn stared down at the grass. "You tried darling. The lure plan was partially successful. It got them out of the town at least." Rarity turned back to me, gesturing towards Twi. "Dear Twilight conjured the illusion of a pegasus pulling an air chariot heaped with gems, drawing them off. Their own gem-hunting abilities or sense of smell or something clued them in before too long though, and they were not happy with us."

"Well, Ah'm mighty sorry to hear about the damage to the boutique, Rares. Hope it won't affect business much." I gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Oh no darling, it shouldn't. I should be able to finish up the commission this week, even if it will work me to the bone. Then I'll have to get started on the Hearth's Warming Eve costumes for this year's pageant. Princess Celestia asked for my hoofwork again!" Rarity squealed, dismounting from the couch to prance a bit in place.

At least one of us is doing well, I reflected, then shook off the uncharitable thought. Rarity worked long hours, even if it wasn't the sort of work I was used to. It took real talent to turn out the sort of goods she did, but any earth pony could buck trees and pull wagons like I did. Speaking of rough, manual labor...

"Ah really should get back to the farm, girls. Ah need to clear some dead wood, and Ah'm burnin' daylight." I whistled Winona to me. The rambunctious little dog bounded ahead, eager to return to the farm.

Cheerful goodbyes followed me as I set out on the road into town, cutting through the busy streets on the way back to the farm. Everywhere I looked I saw smiling faces, ponies apparently pleased with their lot in life, not worried about a thing. I did what I could to match their expressions. It wouldn't do to have anyone stop me and ask what was wrong; I'd wasted enough time today already. Besides, no one liked a whiner.


I didn't leave the orchard for the farmhouse until the sun had nearly set, and it was getting too hard to see where to swing my axe. I'd made progress, but I had no idea yet how many trees I'd need to clear. The bats were certainly unhappy with me, and the feeling was mutual as I left the west orchard, dragging my hooves with every step.

I stopped to give Winona a few scratches behind her ears when she scampered up to meet me, then followed her to the barn to be sure she had her food and water for the night.

"At least Ah can provide alright for you, girl. With full bowls, a scratched head and a rubbed tummy, you don't have a care in the world, do ya?"

Winona writhed on the straw-covered barn floor while I delivered those tummy-rubs, providing all the answer I needed. I shut her in for the night, and dragged myself over to the farmhouse.

Pushing open the door allowed familiar warmth, light, and voices to enfold me in comfort. I found everypony at the table waiting for me, plates piled with roasted root veggies, hay fries seasoned with chili powder, and fresh salad greens. A warm pumpkin pie perfumed the room from a cooling rack atop the stove.

"Was about to go out lookin' for ya, AJ." Mac raised his brow the slightest bit, asking a silent question.

I waved a hoof at him, wagging my head. "Just wanted to make up for the time Ah lost this mornin'."

Apple Bloom squirmed in her seat. "Ah heard it was diamond dogs, come to kidnap Rarity again! Spike said he wrestled one for twenty minutes!"

"And when did you get to see Spike t'day, little lady?" I snapped, giving Apple Bloom an evil eye.

Hurt but defiant, Apple Bloom stuck out her lower lip. "He was at the school t'day, bringing Miss Cheerilee a book."

I sighed, dropping into my seat with a thump. "Right. Sorry." I strapped on a fork and dug in, expecting to be ravenous after such a grueling day. After just a few mouthfuls my stomach twisted, and I grimaced, fork half-way to my mouth.

Granny caught my expression and almost dropped her fork, eyes wide. "Somethin' wrong with the vittles, child?"

She had every right to be surprised. I'd eaten like a team of stallions since I was a foal, and the list of things I'd turn my nose up at could be counted on one mare's hooves.

"Just a bit of a sour stomach t'night. You know Ah always love your cookin' Granny," I winked at her, before finally finishing the forkful I'd raised.

"Did one of those diamond dogs kick you in the belly, Applejack?" Apple Bloom stared across the table at me.

It cracked my heart to see all the resentment over being grounded blown away in an instant over worry for her big sister. "No, no. They didn't get a chance to lay a paw on me. Any bruises Ah picked up t'day are courtesy of Rainbow Dash's brilliant tactics..." I paused, just to see if Scootaloo would appear from behind a couch or cupboard door to defend her hero. "But Ah can't deny they worked a treat. Ah'm here in one piece, nopony's been kidnapped, and we managed to keep the cows from trampling Ponyville."

"Normally Ah'd say that calls for an extra slice of pie, but we'll just put that in the ice-box for you 'til tomorrow, honeybunch." Granny Smith winked, leaning back in her chair. I couldn't tell whether the accompanying creak came from Granny or the furniture.
After pushing the lovely dinner around on my plate for another few minutes like some finicky foal, conversation coasted to a sleepy stop.

"Ah'll take care of the washin' up. Y'all get on to bed now. Granny, don't you go nodding off in your chair again! That's got to be bad for your back." I kept up the chatter to stop the protest I could see forming on Mac's lips. Of course he'd want to volunteer to clean up after the day I'd had, but I didn't want him seeing just how little I'd managed to eat.

Eventually he and the rest got a move on, and left me in the kitchen with just suds and silence. Well, not quite silence. The house was never completely quiet even when nopony was home. It creaked in the wind, shifted ever so slightly as it grew warmer or colder, and the squeaking of the weather vane was hard to miss. Tonight with everyone home, I could hear hoofsteps as the other Apples carried out their nightly routines.

As I scrubbed plates, I pictured Granny finally finishing in the bathroom, teetering her way to her room. Apple Bloom was in after her like a shot, leaving Mac waiting in the hall, listening to her brush her teeth and make gargling sounds. Eventually I heard the scamper and thunk of a door that meant Apple Bloom had finished and gone to bed, leaving the bathroom for Mac. Sometimes he'd take a long bath if he hadn't taken a rough shower of sorts under the pump outside, and if his muscles were sore. I heard the hiss of the pipes, and nodded to myself.

Taking my work as well as his, no wonder he'd be hurting. He was enormously strong, had incredible stamina, but he was still just one pony and it was a big farm. He'd have to do the same thing tomorrow too, I realized, while drying plates and pots. I needed to get that dead wood down, and start dragging it back to the barn before we got any rain.

Finished with the dishes, I clopped up the stairs, intent on crashing into bed. Light seeped out beneath the bathroom door, and I managed a small smile as I slipped into my room. Having family close at hoof was a balm. Shutting my door behind me, I crossed to the bed in the dark and turned back the sheets, only to hear something paper rustle and fall to the floor. Leaning across the bed, I pulled the chain on the nightstand's lamp.

I found the fallen paper and scooped it up. Apple Bloom had drawn me another picture, something she'd done less and less as she'd grown up and started running around with the crusaders. I smiled, the image of a bright orange Applejack lassoing a trio of scowling diamond dogs blurring as my eyes teared up. Two words at the bottom in blue crayon swam too much for me to make out in the dim light, so I swiped the tears from my eyes and tried again. 'Sorry sis,' it read, and I heaved a sigh before tucking the page beneath a book on the nightstand.

"Oh Apple Bloom. Ah know yer sorry now, but it doesn't seem to stop you from doin' something just as bad every month or so. Ah wish you'd get your cutie mark so this nonsense'd stop."

Pulling the lamp's chain again with a fiercer yank than needed, I flopped into bed, and burrowed beneath the covers. The nights were definitely getting nippier, and we'd be spending bits on fuel soon enough too.

"Stems and stones girl, stop your frettin' and get some sleep, or you'll be worthless tomorrow." I felt like giving myself a rap on the noggin for so many things, but couldn't muster the energy. I reached for sleep, and after a short chase, found it.