My Little Investigations: The Silent Dirge

by Metool Bard


Finale: Can't Stop the Music

Silenus's sudden shift in attitude not only caught me off-guard, but it sent chills up my spine as well. Why was he acting like this? Pan seemed equally startled.

"Silenus, whaaat's gotten into you?" he asked.

"Nothing, Pan. Everything is fine," Silenus spat. "It just seems that our makeshift detective is spouting off nonsense."

"N-nonsense?" I parroted.

"Come now, madam. Do you honestly think that I'm the culprit?" said Silenus with a chortle. "All you have is speculation and supposition. You can't pin this on me."

"And we're just supposed to ignore the fact that you're acting very suspicious right now, is that it?" asked Vinyl, folding her forelegs.

"What can I say?" said Silenus with a shrug. "I get rather defensive when somepony accuses me of sabotage and attempted murder."

"Ah wouldn't really describe that there attitude as 'defensive,'" said Fiddlesticks, narrowing her eyes.

"Of course you wouldn't," Silenus scoffed. "But that's because you haven't heard my counter-argument yet."

"Be careful here, Ms. Melody," Mare-Do-Well whispered to me. "He seems too confident for being exposed. He has a plan to get out of this situation scot-free."

"You really think he's the culprit?" I whispered back.

"Without a doubt," said Mare-Do-Well.

I swallowed. Now we're really getting close to the endgame. I can't mess up here, no matter what. My life, the lives of everypony I care about, and my greatest passion that makes up who I am are all on the line.

"Alright then, Mr. Silenus. Let's hear this counter-argument of yours," I said.

"Splendid," said Silenus, taking a swig from his flask. "Be sure to keep me entertained, madam. I haven't taken part in a good debate in a long time."

I-is this a game to him? I thought he was odd before, but now I see that he's completely mad. Mare-Do-Well's right; he must be the culprit. Dammit, I can't lose here!

***
Argument: Silenus's Counter-Argument
***

"There are several holes in your argument that you fail to address, madam," said Silenus. "First off, the tools used to commit the crime. The officer here said that those tools are nigh-on impossible to sneak out of his home country. So, I ask you, how is a drunken bum like me supposed to carry it out? Second, the culprit knew about Pitch Perfect's special hearing. However, if he was attacking during Ms. Symphony's performance, he couldn't have been made privy to that. In fact, Mr. Dexter is still the more likely culprit. He has access to the security cameras, and he could be lying about my tampering with them. So, all in all, it's rather foolish of you to try and pin this on me."

"Okay, how do you know half this stuff?" asked Vinyl. "Octy hasn't shared that information with everypony, y'know. Especially not you. That already makes you a suspect."

"I could've heard that information from anywhere," said Silenus nonchalantly. "And you can't prove that me having this knowledge makes me the culprit."

I hate to say it, but he's right. His attitude may suggest otherwise, but we can't accuse him based simply on that. I need more concrete evidence. I'll answer the second question first.

"I think I know of a way you could've discovered Pitch's ear twitch," I said.

"I doubt that, but please, proceed," said Silenus haughtily.

"First, let me ask Mr. Pan a question," I said. "During the first performance, Vinyl's set, you were sitting with Sapphire and Mr. Silenus, correct?"

"Yes, thaaat's right," said Pan.

"Now then, do you remember who you were sitting behind that night?"

Pan stroked his beard in thought. "I thiiink so."

"Would you be able to point him or her out of this crowd?" I inquired, pointing to the audience.

Pan turned and looked over the crowd. "Yeees, I caaan. I waaas sitting behind that mare over there."

He pointed to a pony in the crowd. I looked where he was pointing and smiled. It was just who I thought it was: Pitch Perfect.

"Just so that there's no confusion, will the pony Pan is pointing to please stand up?" I asked.

Pitch complied.

"And there you have it," I said, turning back to Silenus. "You were sitting behind Pitch Perfect the night of Vinyl's set. And during that set, she heard the transmitter you planted in the subwoofer. Ergo, you saw her ears twitch."

"Your argument is still flawed, madam!" Silenus snapped. "If I saw it then, why did I wait until after Ms. Symphony's performance to send her the threat?!"

"Okay, now you're jus' diggin' yer own grave," said Fiddlesticks with a snort. "There's no way y'all could've known 'bout that letter. Ah only told Tavia an' Kazooie 'bout that, and the only pony she told was Vinyl. Plus, Kazooie was watchin' over Pitch all day! You couldn't 'ave known 'bout that jus' from random gossip!"

"Bah!"

Silenus sounded like he was scoffing at that, but he clearly recoiled from Fiddlesticks's logic.

"Ready to give up yet, buster?" asked Sapphire Shores.

"Y-you haven't won yet!" Silenus barked. "What about the tools?! Mr. Dexter is the only one with access to that technology! I couldn't have used them!"

Bollocks. That's a good point. How was he supposed to get his hooves on such advanced military equipment? There has to be something I'm missing, but for the life of me, I can't even begin to imagine what that something is! But unless I prove it, he's never going to confess!

"What's the matter, madam? Cat got your tongue?" taunted Silenus. "Just save yourself the embarrassment and withdraw you accusations. I won't hold it against you. After all, you're no detective."

Come on, think! I'm overlooking something; I know I am! What is it? What is it?! I can't let up now that I'm so close! What am I going to—?

"OBJECTION!"

My thoughts were interrupted by an exclamation from Beauty Brass. All eyes were now on her.

"Do you mind? We're trying to have a discussion here," snarled Silenus.

"Sorry, sorry," said Beauty Brass sheepishly. "I just remembered something from last night."

"What, when you went running off screaming into Centrot Park?" asked Frederick.

"Y-yes, that," said Beauty Brass, blushing slightly. "See, I saw something while I was there."

"That has nothing to do with what we're talking about," said Silenus.

"B-but what if it did?" asked Beauty Brass. "Octy, give me a chance here. I-I might be able to help you."

Mare-Do-Well placed a hoof to her muzzle, and then looked at me. "Well? Shall we?" she asked.

"We don't have many other options," I said. "Beauty Brass, if it's not too much trouble, please give us your testimony."

"Okay," said Beauty Brass. "Thanks, Octy."

"If this turns out to be irrelevant, I expect you to concede that I'm innocent," said Silenus, leering at me.

"We won't know until we hear from Beauty Brass," I said sternly. Although honestly, I really hope she's onto something. Otherwise, we're doomed.

***
Testimony: What I Saw
***

"Well, as you remember, I ran screaming into Centrot Park because of what happened to Sapphire Shores last night," said Beauty Brass. "I kept running and running until I saw something happening in the moonlight. It was a shadow with a bunch of trinkets laid out on a black blanket. Curious, I looked on for a while until it turned to me with these horrid green eyes. I screamed again, ran away, and hid myself under a bridge until Frederick and Harpo found me."

"That second scream when you found the shadow. That must've been the one we heard when we finally got outside," mused Parish.

"But it's still completely irrelevant," said Silenus with a snort. "Ready to admit defeat, madam?"

"Not quite," I said, stroking my chin in thought. Beauty Brass brings up an excellent point that I didn't consider: The killer's attack on me last night. It's obvious that she managed to come across him during her panicked foray into the park. But I have to know more.

"Beauty Brass, do you recall the nature of the trinkets you saw on the black blanket?" I asked.

"Kinda," said Beauty Brass, furrowing her brow. "There were a few small silver-y things, and a long golden thingie. The golden thingie was easier to see because of the moon's reflection."

"Can you describe it in more detail?" I inquired.

"It looked like a large tuning fork."

Eureka. That was exactly what I needed.

"Beauty Brass, I thank you," I said with a bow. "You have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Silenus is the mastermind."

"Ridiculous!" Silenus snapped. "She hasn't proven anything!"

"Let's go over a few things first," I said. "Last night, while looking for Beauty Brass, I was attacked by the culprit. As it so happens, he had glowing green eyes, and he was wielding the large tuning fork that Beauty Brass just described. The same tuning fork, mind you, that was used to attack Symphony during her performance!"

"Th-that doesn't prove it was me!" Silenus sputtered. "You still haven't answered my question! How could I have gotten those weapons?! I've never been to the minotaur country!"

"Now thaaat right there is a lie," said Pan. "We were there juuust laaast month."

"W-well, that still doesn't prove anything!" shouted Silenus. "I didn't get into any trouble there, Pan! You know that!"

Pan folded his arms and shook his head. "As I recaaall, you diiid. Or did you forget how you somehow maaanaged to have a full platoon chase you through the busy maaarketplace?"

"Hey, I-I was drunk!" Silenus protested.

"Thaaat's still not an excuse," said Pan firmly. "Don't you remember that spell I cast on you? You haaave the option of maintaining control of your inhibitions even when you're drunk. And you caaan't tell me you forgot thaaat one time, because you were outrunning those soldiers. I remember it quite clearly."

"P-Pan, how can you say that?" said Silenus. "I-it's me, your old buddy Silenus, remember? I-I wouldn't try to kill anypony! That mare is as mad as a hatter, trying to play detective and accuse me of such heinous acts!"

"There's one more thing, Mr. Silenus," I said. "I have yet to play my trump card."

"You're bluffing! You have nothing on me!" boomed Silenus.

"Indeed I do," I said. "Because as I recall, the culprit was attacked by our guardian angel over here."

I pointed to Mare-Do-Well as I said that. Mare-Do-Well gave me a nod of recognition, and I continued.

"Now then, during the struggle, she managed to twist the culprit's hind leg. So, if you're indeed the culprit, then one of your legs must be wounded!"

"Th-that's still circumstantial evidence!" Silenus squawked. "What if I just had a hernia, huh? There's a reason why we have a word for coincidences!"

"Maybe so, but when I fought the culprit last night, I noticed something interesting," said Mare-Do-Well. "I recognized your fighting style. Drunken boxing, am I right?"

Silenus gulped. "Th-that's a common fighting style. Anypony can learn it."

"Except that you fought this opponent before," I said. "Remember, when you were chasing the shadow and claiming that she was the villain? There's a very good chance that she could've recognized your style from that. So, as a final test, Mr. Silenus, I ask you to walk around a bit. Show us that your leg is fine. If you can, I'll withdraw my accusations and leave you be."

Silenus was sweating profusely now. "I-I-I... GRAH!"

He quickly downed half of the contents of his flask and slammed his front hooves against the stage. An angry inferno blazed is his eyes as he glared at me.

"Y-y-you haven't won!" he slurred. "I've been tryin' to get Pan'sh Mushic Code for yearsh now, and you're not takin' it away from me!"

"I think we can take that as a confession," said Vinyl.

"Silenus, I don't understaaand," said Pan. "We've been traaaveling ever since I started off as a minstrel. Were you really after my maaagic this whole time? How could you?"

"How couldn't I?" Silenus snarled, turning savagely to Pan. "You had all thish power right at your fingertipsh, and what do you do with it? Shquat, that'sh what! Don't you realize that you can change the mushic world ash we know it?!"

"Thaaat's exaaactly what I don't wish to do," said Pan. "The music world is fine the way it is."

"Pah! Of courshe you'd shay that," said Silenus. "But what happensh when your mushic ishn't popular anymore, huh? Theshe thingsh are alwaysh in flux. Shongsh and artishtsh come and go, and no one remembersh the onesh who were losht in the shuffle."

"Yeah well, so what?"

Silenus whipped around and glared at me again. "What did you shay?"

"I said so what?" I repeated. "It's true that some ponies make music to become famous. That's fine; fame and recognition isn't a bad thing. But there are some of us who don't really care about that. To me, music is how I express my feelings and emotions creatively. I just happen to be really good at it."

Silenus snickered. "You think thish ish about fame?" he said. "Fame hash nothing to do with it! It'sh about change!"

"What kind of change?"

"From an art form to a practical tool."

"By 'practical tool,' you mean a weapon, right?" said Sapphire. "Sorry, Silenus, but that's not what music is all about. It's about artistic expression and entertainment, just like Tavi-doll said."

"Well, it shouldn't be," Silenus spat, his voice dripping with venom. "I've sheen Pan'sh Mushic Code do thingsh that you could only imagine. And in my hoovesh, it can do sho much more. That'sh why I had to get it and learn itsh shecretsh."

"So that's why you stole my weapon designs and tried to pin it on me," said Point Dexter, flicking his nose ring. "You probably used that blanket Ms. Brass mentioned to hide everything."

"Quite obshervant, officher," said Silenus. "To cushtomsh, I wash jusht a drunken fool wearing a cloak. And Pan, thinking that I wash shimply up to my typical shenanigansh, bailed me out."

"Aaand the rest is hiiistory," Pan sighed. "It seems we're both fools here, Silenus. I'm the fool for truuusting you, aaand you're the fool for misunderstaaanding whaaat makes music special."

"Oh, get off your high horshe and shtop pretending that I don't have a point!" Silenus snapped. "And that goesh for all of you! Lishten to you lot, thinking that mere shongsh carry any power whatshover. Only Pan'sh Mushic Code hash power! Your shetsh and performanchesh are nothing but nonshenshe poemsh put to pretty shoundsh! Unlessh you're topping the chartsh, they mean nothing to thoshe who aren't pretentioush twatsh!"

Something inside of me just snapped. Silenus was just spouting off a load of rubbish before, but that really hit a nerve. I could actually feel my blood coming to a boil.

"Say that again, you wanker. I dare you," I stated coldly.

"Um, Octy? Maybe you should calm down," said Vinyl nervously.

"I am completely calm," I said.

"I don't think you are, kitten," said Slick Licks.

Silenus chortled. "Oh, and what ish thish? Did I make the toffee-noshed artisht upshet? Have I offended you with the truth, madam?"

"It's not the truth, you bastard!" I screamed. "You aim to pervert something I hold dear by making it something it's not, and you have no regard for whom you hurt in the process! Pan saw you as a lifelong friend, tolerated your tomfoolery, and this is how you repay him?! And don't you dare call him a gullible fool, because he's a lot wiser than you'll ever be!"

"I appreciate your kiiind words, Ms. Melody, but I should still..." Pan began before I cut him off.

"And he's not the only one you hurt," I said, advancing towards Silenus. "You hurt my friends, my family, and me. And for what? So that you could hold us hostage for Pan's Music Code and ruin music for the rest of us?! I will not let that happen!"

Before I could land a punch on him, I felt something grab my tail and yank me out of reach. I turned around and saw that Vinyl was holding me back with her magic.

"Don't do this, Octy," she said sternly. "You're a better pony than that. We all know you are."

"L-let me go!" I shrieked. "He has this coming! I can't just stand here and let him get away with this rubbish!"

"We're not going to do that, Octavia. I can assure you," said Frederick. "However, we shouldn't sink to his level. You of all ponies should know that."

"Ah dunno, Ah kinda wanna deck him in the face mahself," said Fiddlesticks. "Ah think Tavia has the right idea."

"Not helping, Fiddle," Vinyl growled.

Deep down in my heart, I knew they had a point. I shouldn't lose control like this. But after all of the heartache, the frustration, and the stress this mystery has put me through, I have had enough. I'm going to end this once and for all!

"Vinyl, please! Let me do this!" I cried. "Let me go!"

"Not until you calm down," said Vinyl. "If our roles were reversed, you'd be telling me the same thing. Practice what you preach, Tavi."

"Besides, restraining this joker is my job," added Point Dexter, cracking his knuckles. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time, pal."

"You try anything, and I'll make thish wannabe detective a martyr!" Silenus threatened, rearing up on his hind legs. "And if you think I'm— OW!"

No sooner had he drawn himself to full height than he fell before me. As he was sprawled out on the ground, I saw that his leg was wounded; just like I said it was. That is what I'd call a coup de grâce. There's nothing he can do to save himself now.

"Th-thish changesh nothing!" he spat, struggling to get up. "You're all shtill trapped in your little echo chambersh! Your mushic ish obsholete! It won't shurvive unlessh it becomesh practical!"

I am this close to trampling this twat. Music won't survive unless it's used to hurt others? What kind of sick mentality is that?! I raised my hoof and stared down at the mad donkey.

"Wait juuust a moment, Ms. Melody."

I looked up at Pan. He had a serious, somber look on his face.

"There's a waaay to show Silenus the true maaagic of music without hurting him," he said.

"How?" I asked.

Instead of answering, Pan started playing a tune on his panpipes. I recognized it right away. It was the same tune as the first song of Vinyl's set. All of the memories I had about that song washed over me, and I lowered my foreleg.

"W-wait. Why did you shtop?!" Silenus exclaimed. "Don't you wanna end thish?! Claim your victory, you pretentioush whore! Nothing'sh shtopping you!"

"No. Something is stopping me," I said. "That song."

Silenus blinked. "Wh-what? B-but that'sh not a shpell!"

"It doesn't have to be," I said. "You might've heard nothing but nonsense poems in that set, Silenus, but I heard so much more. To me, that song represents how two musicians of very different styles can live together in harmony. Even if one is doing better than the other in the charts, that doesn't matter. We play music not to delude ourselves into being more than we actually are. We play music to entertain others. We play music to become recognized for our craft. And sometimes, we just play music because we want to. All of these reasons are valid. And as long as ponies like me and everypony else at this festival keep playing, music will never die."

Silenus wanted to refute me, but I was through listening to him. As he continued spouting off bollocks, I turned my back to him and walked away.

"Mr. Dexter, Mr. Check. He's all yours," I said.

"Got it, Melody," said Mike.

"Understood, ma'am," said Point Dexter with a salute.

As Mike Check and Point Dexter went over to restrain Silenus, I walked up to Vinyl and the others. Vinyl smiled at me.

"I'm proud of you, Octy," she said. "We all are."

Everypony else nodded in agreement. At that moment, my emotions just overwhelmed me. I wrapped my forelegs around Vinyl and buried my face into her chest, sobbing all the while.

"Shh. It's alright, Octy," Vinyl cooed, rubbing my back as I continued to cry. "It's all over now. We're all gonna be okay."

"I-I know," I whimpered. "I'm sorry I lost control. I didn't mean to..."

"No one's blaming you for that, Tavi-doll," said Sapphire. "We all understand how much this means to you, and how much you've done for us. The important thing is that he won't hurt anypony anymore."

I couldn't think of anything else to say, so I simply continued to weep as Vinyl held me close. I'm pretty sure real detectives don't act like this, but I don't give a toss. I managed to stop a madman from silencing every musician in Equestria, and all of my friends are alive and well. At this moment in time, I cannot ask for anything more.