//------------------------------// // Trollestia // Story: A Troll In Equestria // by Duke of Canterlot //------------------------------// "I am surprised that Discord actually teleported us to Celestia's castle", said Twilight with relief. "You seem to be forgetting that Discord became good", commented Fluttershy. "You have a lot to learn about Discord, Fluttershy." "Discord is my friend and I trust him." "You didn't open your mouth once when Discord insulted Rainbow Dash and you're here telling me off for thinking that Discord might not have been reformed." "Oh, was I? I just said... oh, Twilight, you should take a nap. That's what I always do when I feel cranky." "I am not cranky. It's just.. Princess Celestia could be in serious trouble. Don't you see the signs?" "But who could it be?" "It's probably not Discord.. honestly, the troll probably threw in Discord as an obvious red herring." "That's what I was trying to tell you, before you interrupted me." "I'm sorry for doing that.. it's just that... I am so stressed out. If Celestia is in danger and I can't help, what kind of pony does that make me?" "I love you just the way you are, Twilight." "Thanks, Fluttershy. But I know I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.. ever, if something were to happen.." "Isn't that Celestia's bedroom door in front of us?" Fluttershy and Twilight approached the ornate door. Twilight knocked on the door. "Come on in!" It was Celestia's voice. She didn't seem like she was in danger.. yet... Twilight and Fluttershy saw Princess Celestia at her computer, probably working on important princess duties. "Hello, Fluttershy and Twilight, my most faithful student, what brings you two here so late at night?" "We think your life might be in danger, Princess." "How so? My Royal Guard hasn't reported any threats to the Equestrian Empire." "Well.. Fluttershy and I found out through the Internet." "The Internet, huh? LOL! I'm going to fire half of my royal guard now. The Internet is much cheaper." "So.. the threat, your Highness, is from two places. Fluttershy was on an animal lovers forum and she saw a poster who said that she was going to feed her pet parakeet Celestia arsenic. She was having trouble getting the parakeet to eat arsenic. Then, on the magic forum I love so much, I saw there was a pony saying that she determined Trixie was more magical than you through inquiry alone. Finally, a poster with the username of Discord replied to agree with the value judgment. All three of these posts came from IP addresses from your castle." "Oh noes! So this killer might still be in the castle. I suspect it's Luna. I can banish her to the moon again if you want." "That may be necessary, your Highness, but may I suggest we wait to see it was Luna for sure first." "Oh. HEY LUNA!! I NEED YOU!!" Luna entered Celestia's room. "What is the urgency, Celestia? It is supposed to be night for a couple more hours." "Twilight Sparkle has discovered something rather interesting and alarming." "What have you discovered, Twilight?" "Well.. there is a pony on the Internet in Celestia's castle who has been trolling me and Fluttershy. This pony has also been saying horrible things. He or she wants to feed a parakeet named Celestia arsenic and was spouting blasphemies regarding Trixie being more magical than Celestia." "Oh no, who would do such a thing like that?" "By process of elimination", said Celestia sternly, "you are the only possible suspect left actually." "Me? But.. I.. would never hurt a poor parakeet. Maybe Nightmare Moon would do such a thing, but I certainly would never. Parakeets are harmless creatures and so adorable." "I should sentence you to another thousand years on the moon right now", said Celestia. "No.. no.. but I didn't do anything wrong, I swear!!", shouted Luna. "Hmmm, to think of it, what other pony would have a reason to write on a forum that "Trixie is more magical than Celestia", except a pony with a huge grudge against Celestia", said Twilight. "That was the old Luna.. I am the new Luna.. I swear it. Why don't you ponies sequester Trixie and send her off to the moon instead? It's more likely to be her than me." "But there are no records of Trixie being in my castle tonight which is where the pony wrote those horrible posts on the Internet", said Celestia, "the only ones were you, me, and some Royal Guards... so, Twilight Sparkle, what do you think? Should we send Luna to the moon? Given her past history, she likely is the troll." Luna looked down at the ground solemnly. Twilight stared at Luna for a moment, thinking about what to do. Fluttershy took a look at Celestia and saw that she had her front hooves on her mouth. It looked like Celestia was doing her best to not laugh. Fluttershy made sure to give Celestia a "I know what you're up to" look. Fluttershy was trying to gather up the courage to say, "Celestia is the troll, not Luna! Don't send her to the moon!" However, Twilight began to speak first. "Princess Celestia." "Yes, my most faithful student." "I am not sure that Luna is the one who has been trolling us." "We don't know for sure unfortunately but who else could it be?" "I don't know but I have been reading up on ghost ponies recently. There might be one haunting the castle and trolling people." "Interesting theory, I wish I was as smart as you, my most faithful student." "Says the pony who invented the Internet, but I do think it is a plausible theory." "Thank you, Twilight. I have never felt so honored in my life. How about this? Twilight, is there any possible way to detect a ghost pony?" "Well this book I was reading said that you can hear ghost ponies, you just can't see them." "Great! Luna and Twilight, please search the castle for these ghost ponies?" "Sure thing, Princess Celestia, we will find who did this!" "Otherwise, Luna is going to the moon LOL!!" Luna and Twilight left Celestia's room to search for the ghost ponies. "LOL ghost ponies. What are those anyway?" Celestia let out a loud laugh. "I don't know but they sound scary", responded Fluttershy. "I actually wrote about the ghost ponies, I made them up." "So it was you the whole time, Princess Celestia." "Me troll? Naws, why, you mad?" "No.. not me, Princess." "But yea, I was the troll all along. It is amazing what you can get away with when you are the supreme princess. LOL!" "Poor Twilight and Luna.." "Nah, don't worry about them. Every other day, I am like "LOL LUNA YOU SCREW UP BIG TIME..I WILL SEND YOU TO THE MOON AGAIN LOL!!" "The poor thing." "The poor thing indeed, she can never be as awesome and badass as me!" "So.. you are troll?" "Yes, I am. Of course, I have to focus on more than trolling. Twilight Sparkle will become a good princess someday but I have to have fun once in a while, plus Twilight needs to lighten up. One more thing, Fluttershy." "Yes." "I have been watching you and I think you could be a valuable troll someday. You have potential and honestly you're a lot like me when I was your age.. timid, overly polite, kind, but very playful and good-natured. I hope you will consider joining the Equestrian Trolling Society. There, they call me Trollestia." "I'll think about it.. but trolling doesn't seem kind at all.." Twilight and Luna returned. "These ghost ponies are so hard to find", groaned Twilight. "Yes.. but please don't send me to the moon", said Luna with fear. "Lol guyz! I am sorry, ghost ponies aren't real and I was the troll all along. AnimalsAreSoooooCute and TrixieIsBestPony were actually me. You both need to lighten up LOL!!" "UGH!!!!!!!!", moaned Luna.